Ever been ignored at a restaurant?

[bcla]

I'm normally pretty patient, but I kind of lost it yesterday. Had the day off and it's just myself and my kid in San Francisco. We thought of just having good clean local tourist fun at a fairly busy restaurant in Fishermans Wharf. There was a decent wait for regular tables, but the bar area (about five tables plus the counter) was open seating and there were unoccupied tables. It's also Happy Hour only at the bar area, which was a plus.

So we get there to a table that needs to be cleared, and we've got electronics to keep us busy. One employee comes up, clears the table, and hands us menus. I know exactly what we're going to order, but he kind of walks away and I don't think it was his assigned table anyways. In the meantime we see other people come in two tables over and the same employee who cleared our table and handed the menus is taking their order. Boom - they've got drinks and are talking to the group next to us. That group next to us leaves. Still waiting. After a while, we've been waiting about 25-30 minutes. A group sits down at that table, and someone takes their order immediately. I'm OK, thinking maybe we're next, but the server just walks away. I pounded my table in frustration and then flag down the server who just walked away, telling her that we've been waiting a half hour. She says she just got there and she's there now. I didn't berate her or anything, but I wanted to express my frustration about being ignored.

I know it's a busy restaurant and sometimes customers get lost in the chaos of running a busy place. But it gets really frustrating when there are over a dozen employees milling around and myself as a customer doesn't get acknowledged. I thought that restaurant staff are trained to notice if a table looks like it's being ignored and that it's supposed to be a "team effort".

I've been to a place with my wife where we were given menu and water, but where we waited about a half hour for nothing. Then a couple seated at the next table just sits down and gets their order taken immediately where the server just walks away. That was one of the few times we've just walked away.

 

[UncleMike101]

I'm normally pretty patient, but I kind of lost it yesterday. Had the day off and it's just myself and my kid in San Francisco. We thought of just having good clean local tourist fun at a fairly busy restaurant in Fishermans Wharf. There was a decent wait for regular tables, but the bar area (about five tables plus the counter) was open seating and there were unoccupied tables. It's also Happy Hour only at the bar area, which was a plus.

So we get there to a table that needs to be cleared, and we've got electronics to keep us busy. One employee comes up, clears the table, and hands us menus. I know exactly what we're going to order, but he kind of walks away and I don't think it was his assigned table anyways. In the meantime we see other people come in two tables over and the same employee who cleared our table and handed the menus is taking their order. Boom - they've got drinks and are talking to the group next to us. That group next to us leaves. Still waiting. After a while, we've been waiting about 25-30 minutes. A group sits down at that table, and someone takes their order immediately. I'm OK, thinking maybe we're next, but the server just walks away. I pounded my table in frustration and then flag down the server who just walked away, telling her that we've been waiting a half hour. She says she just got there and she's there now. I didn't berate her or anything, but I wanted to express my frustration about being ignored.

I know it's a busy restaurant and sometimes customers get lost in the chaos of running a busy place. But it gets really frustrating when there are over a dozen employees milling around and myself as a customer doesn't get acknowledged. I thought that restaurant staff are trained to notice if a table looks like it's being ignored and that it's supposed to be a "team effort".

I've been to a place with my wife where we were given menu and water, but where we waited about a half hour for nothing. Then a couple seated at the next table just sits down and gets their order taken immediately where the server just walks away. That was one of the few times we've just walked away.

Perhaps you didn't look like big tippers or important people.
Sorry, but everyone I know who's visited the SF area says that if you don't look and smell like money you get minimal service.
Of course those of us from the Mid West usually smell like corn and soybeans.

 

[bcla]

Perhaps you didn't look like big tippers or important people.
Sorry, but everyone I know who's visited the SF area says that if you don't look and smell like money you get minimal service.
Of course those of us from the Mid West usually smell like corn and soybeans.

It was a chain (tourist trap type) restaurant. The first couple ("surfer type" would be my best description) to be seated looked fairly young and hardly rich, although I overheard them talking about being from another part of Northern California.

I certainly understand that running a restaurant is chaotic, but the people at the table next to us sat down and got their orders immediately taken, while we're sitting there for a half hour just waiting to be acknowledged. The place was hardly understaffed.

 

[Nora03]

Yes, at Artist Point in the Wilderness Lodge. We were staying at the Wilderness Lodge and it was our splurge signature dinner of the trip. We were seated in the middle of the restaurant and then ignored. No water, or menus, and the worst was that the manager was standing and chatting with the people at the table next to us for twenty minutes! He MUST have seen us. We finally flagged someone down and they then realized that no one had been assigned to our table. I thought they might comp us a glass of wine or dessert, but NO! I fumed for awhile and then got over it. I suppose we should have spoken up sooner, but we just decided not to return to that restaurant.

 

[VandVsmama]

That’s happened to us before. We just got up and left. Sorry you had such a frustrating experience!

 

[UncleMike101]

It was a chain (tourist trap type) restaurant. The first couple ("surfer type" would be my best description) to be seated looked fairly young and hardly rich, although I overheard them talking about being from another part of Northern California.

I certainly understand that running a restaurant is chaotic, but the people at the table next to us sat down and got their orders immediately taken, while we're sitting there for a half hour just waiting to be acknowledged. The place was hardly understaffed.

I've known quite a few waiters/waitress's over the years and they all profile the customers, consciously or not, and divvy up their attention to those they believe to be the most likely good tippers.
It's a form of survival instinct.
My Wife and I dine out more often since the kids have grown up and we've discovered how much of our income we invested in their upbringing.
My Wife has the "Sweet Grandma" look and wait staff fawn all over her.
She says it gets annoying sometimes but we always get good service.

 

[marcyleecorgan]

Yes. Actually it was worse than being ignored... the waitress took our order, then brought a meal ONLY to my DH. And then she looked very confused that I had also ordered a meal and expected to have breakfast with my husband.
I think we tossed a $20 at the cashier and left... too bad because it was one of my favorite greasy spoon diners... alas they lost lifetime customers that day.

 

[fortwildernessishome]

This happened to us too, almost exactly as you described!!! It was at a restaurant in Badlands National Park of all places!! We ended up leaving, because it was beyond ridiculous how we were being ignored!!! It happened 11 years ago and we still laugh about it!! My oldest son was going to order a "three cheese" grilled cheese sandwich and for years we joked about how that probably would have been the best grilled cheese of his life!!!

 

[vicwishes]

Yes, but my situation was quite unique. About 20 years ago, my husband and I stopped at an Italian restaurant just outside of Boston, in the mid-afternoon. The hostess showed us to a table in a large dining room and we were the only customers. We looked at the menu, sat and talked and then realized about 30 minutes had elapsed and we hadn’t seen a single person. We decided to just leave.

As we walked out, I heard conversations and glanced into a large private dining room filled with over 30 men in dark suits. When we went outside, I noticed all the cars were dark-colored SUVs with tinted windows. It just felt weird.

 

[RedAngie]

Yes, it's happened about half a dozen of times in my life. Usually I can tell within five minutes if service is going to be a problem. We've walked out of a few places after being ignored for about 15 minutes.

One time the server arrived promptly and we ordered soft drinks. When they arrived we placed our order. Then nothing. No salad, no bread basket. People who were seated after us were already receiving their entrees by the same server. She never came back to our table to inform us of any reason for the delay or even glanced in our direction. After about 30 minutes we decided to just get up and leave. I doubt anybody noticed our departure.

 

[Disneylover99]

That’s happened to us before. We just got up and left. Sorry you had such a frustrating experience!

It's happened to us a few times over the years. We always left too. I do make a point of telling management on my way out though. I hate bad service more then I hate lousy food.

 

[pens4821]

Sometimes it happens. I've worked in restaurants for 20 plus years, and even though you're always trained to not let something like that happen, it does. I know it sounds simple for other servers to notice you, but at the same time if you're busy you're really only focusing on your tables (which is wrong, but just the way it is). And there are many more crappy servers than good ones and they miss their tables often.

I would have never waited that long. I would've tried to get someone or left. People also grossly overstate the time they've been waiting for a server or their food. Where I work now is all computerized, so when someone says they've been sitting there X amount of time, usually it's much much less. We can look at the screen and see when they were sat. That and when people say they've been waiting 45 minutes for their food, but have only been sat for 25 (so by the time they got their drinks, got their order, it was rung in, they've really only been waiting 15-20).

I'm not saying this to say you didn't wait that long. I'm just saying that 90% of the time, people think they've been waiting much longer than they have (myself included when I'm on the other side waiting for that server or my food).

 

[bcla]

This happened to us too, almost exactly as you described!!! It was at a restaurant in Badlands National Park of all places!! We ended up leaving, because it was beyond ridiculous how we were being ignored!!! It happened 11 years ago and we still laugh about it!! My oldest son was going to order a "three cheese" grilled cheese sandwich and for years we joked about how that probably would have been the best grilled cheese of his life!!!

I've had a situation (strangely enough at a national park lodge dining room) where I could tell that the place was understaffed given the number of people who unexpectedly showed up. That case I didn't get too upset because it was pretty obvious that it was one person who was absolutely overwhelmed. My situation yesterday was at a crowded tourist trap restaurant with well over a dozen service staff and it seemed like we were the only people being ignored.

I figured it couldn't have been our age, how we were dressed, etc. Like I said - a tourist trap place where a lot of people are wearing T-shirts and shorts, large groups, small groups, etc. Other customers were of all types, races, etc as was the service staff.

 

[OneOftheB's]

I've been the one to ignore a customer, but it was an honest mistake. One summer during my college years, I waited tables at a local chain. Occasionally a server wouldn't show up (the place was big enough for 1-2 full time bartenders and about 8-10 servers on the floor in the evening). On this particular night, a server didn't show or called in sick and the table sections were redrawn mid service. I never received notice that I had added a few tables and noticed a table that sat and sat and no one was helping them. I went to see what was going on (they probably flagged me down, as I had the table adjacent). I was so upset that these people had been sitting and I was my fault. I ended up buying them chips & salsa as an apology (I covered it, not the restaurant). They were very nice and while they didn't really understand what happened, they were reasonable and accepting of my apology.

So, sometimes it's just a simple mistake and not a server deciding that you aren't worth the effort.

 

[lovin'fl]

Yep. A couple times recently. It seems to be more and more frequent. I also hate the times we get our orders taken and our food brought out but no other service outside of that...no drink refills, or things needed for meal like ketchup or even bill brought and we have to flag someone down for our bill, then wait forever and flag down again to pay bill.

 

[bcla]

I'm not saying this to say you didn't wait that long. I'm just saying that 90% of the time, people think they've been waiting much longer than they have (myself included when I'm on the other side waiting for that server or my food).

It wasn't necessarily the wait, although I'm sure it was at least 20 minutes. It was that one group just sat down and got their order taken immediately. I was there while the previous occupants of that table were talking. At the least I had a clean table though.

 

[tvguy]

Yes. We walked about after 15 minutes. Small neighborhood l family run restaurant. I Yelped it and got an apology from the owner who said several other customers had called to her attention our lack of service and departure. But since then have learned ....from reading Yelp and from my neighbors that they are kind of know for amazing food, and lousy service.

I would give them another chance but my wife is of the school of thought "one strike and you're out" when it comes to businesses.

 

[gillep]

Many times over the years, but DH and I probably eat out more than most. Sometimes we leave, but usually after a little bit we either flag someone down, or if there is a host/hostess we let them know what's going on. There is a Mexican restaurant near us that we recently started going to that has great drinks and quesadillas, but getting water and getting your food order in seems to be something of an Olympic sport. We have been twice and would go more often if they had better service.

 

[Hikergirl]

Perhaps you didn't look like big tippers or important people.
Sorry, but everyone I know who's visited the SF area says that if you don't look and smell like money you get minimal service.
Of course those of us from the Mid West usually smell like corn and soybeans.

That hasn't been my experience in SF when going with my family. In fact there was one restaurant in Fisherman's Wharf where we had excellent service. I don't think we smelled like anything but if we did it definitely wasn't money

OP, I've had that happen before. We usually give them 15 or so minutes before we leave. If it is super busy and hectic, dh will just go up to the bar and order drinks and we'll wait a little longer. If we finish our drinks before the server acknowledges us we leave at that point.

 

[dclpluto]

Yes it was around 1985 give or take a year or so during a Martin Luther king march.might of been for the 25th anniversary of the march. My uncle took us to dc for the weekend. We didn’t know there was a march going on while we were there. So we are at Pizza Hut. After a hour of no food we left. Restaurant was almost empty. Other people were getting there food but we were the only white people in there.