Someone responded to this to say that if this is what consent means, they'd never be having sex (it's been deleted - it would be ideal if the moderators, etc might find ways to correct people's behavior without deleting things outright as it's a form of gaslighting). There are whole threads where people's comments are non-sensical because they respond to something that arose and moderators go in and stealth delete what they want.
But here, someone dismissed consent - after days of conversations about sexual assault and abuse (and previous statements dismissing the people who've shared their personal stories about abuse in this community). But the moderator deleted it without addressing in this thread why such a callous statement is problematic (I guess the alternative is that the moderator(s) feel that sort of statement is appropriate). I acknowledge saying that I thought the poster seemed sad and unfunny; obviously my saying that was an inappropriate form of attacking the poster. Still, this deleting stuff and not acknowledging what prompts certain issues is part of the problem. These message boards have had multiple comments over the years that are racist, homophobic, and/or mocking the idea of consent in the face of sexual assault - and so very often, the moderators punish the people who speak up about those posts (I've seen the original posts left up and other posts saying those are inappropriate deleted).
I was asked, "What the heck?" (but the DM was locked so I couldn't answer, which is part of the power play involved that is very frustrating to so many of us). I guess my response is, "The heck is that someone has consistently derided the stories of people who've shared being abused by a key figure in
this board/travel company and then made a very clear and disgusting dismissal about something as fundamental as consent." The sort of "joke" (or real comment - it's unclear) is physically revolting, especially to people (like myself) who have had their consent violated.
I would think the "what the heck?" might be better used towards people who are dismissive or joke about sexual assault and consent. Allowing those sorts of comments to stand unchallenged is the same sort of thing that allows abusive behavior to happen and continue. Being dismissive and rude in a DM and then locking it so no one can respond is problematic, as well. So many people keep wondering can this community work differently (better) but then things like this expose that it's not about any single person's preferences to make inappropriate comments and punish people (as some moderators do) but about a system that is fundamentally setup to reinforce certain values (deference to power) over things like people having a say or being able to disagree.
And again, I acknowledge that my post (which I won't repeat since it was deleted and I received punishment) was too majorly personally attacking
@GAN. I'm more than willing to acknowledge my faults and I wish that others would able to do the same.
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