Does this make me a bad mom??

[Feberin]

I had a four year old and almost two year old for our last trip. At least for us taking the toddler didn't slow us down much at all. There wasn't a single ride my four-year-old wanted to go on that she couldn't also ride. And there were only a few rides he was tall enough to ride that she hadn't reached the height restriction but my son scares easily and had no interest in riding them anyways.
She napped in the stroller or in an Ergo carrier on my back. At the hotel she slept in her pack and play. We had a little issue getting both kids to bed the first night but afterwards they were so exhausted that they collapsed immediately.
There were a few times when having her was a bit of an inconvenience. She didn't do well with most shows and got bored and wiggly quickly. I actually had to walk out with her for Turtle Talk with Crush since she was refusing to sit down. She also didn't do well in the Sci Fi café because we ate in a car she had a booster seat instead of a high chair so she could move around. She took full advantage of it and it was a rough meal. If it was a long bus ride she would also get a little wiggly. Also when we did playgrounds (Honey, I Shrunk the Kids and Boneyard) somebody had to keep close tabs on her at all times while my four year old could have more freedom.
However the good moments really outweighed the times it was difficult. She fell in love with Minnie on the trip and now talks about going back to see Minnie again. Also there were probably as many times it was difficult having my four year old with us since he got scared before going on just about every ride the first time. And he also had way more interest in dictating our day like wanting to go on a ride with an hour long wait or going on something in an entirely different park while my daughter was pretty happy to do whatever we wanted to do next. My four-year-old also refused to smile for 90% of our family photos while my daughter hammed it up.
We didn't have the dinning plan but I don't think we ever bought my daughter her own meal. She either shared with my husband and I or the two kids shared. The portions were plenty big enough and they snacked throughout the day to help avoid the cranky hungry child issue. I've heard some places will include a drink for an under two for free or I would bet they would give you a cup of water in the same cup the other kids receive.
All that said I don't think it would make you a bad mother if you choose not to bring her. We never considered it because we don't have anyone who would happily choose to spend a week babysitting and it was way cheaper to take her then hire a babysitter. Also every child is different. My daughter is a pretty easy going kid while my older child is the challenging one. However we had a blast with both kids at Disney and definitely want to return again.

 

[Ryan8107]

I can't imagine not taking one of my kids. I feel kids act better when they are there. Sure you get the occasional break down, but you get that at home too.

 

[MomBird]

FairyDust,

I was just checking out my photo albums from Disney and if you do take your little one, I think the whole family including the 2 yr old will have a great time. And if you don't - your 2 yr old will still have a great time w/grandma and grandpa.

If you choose to do the trip w/just the older ones, maybe ask the grandparents to take plenty of pictures with the little one doing fun stuff - nothing big...could be as simple as playing with stuffed animals, having ice cream...whatever and then put some of those pictures in your scrapbook or album for this vacation. When she's older and looking back on things she will get to see that she had an extra special vacation too and get to treasure those pics with the grandparents.

For rider swap, another poster explained it perfectly. It's very easy and the parent waiting with the little one can shop or whatever while the others on the on the ride and then ride immediately when they're off, or wait a bit later. We didn't wait until the next day, but there were definitely times we had a snack or a quick break before the switch off.

 

[cjbcam]

For the dining plan my son always got a free drink. I don't recall getting any special cups because those had a fee. The under threes also get the resort refillable cup with everyone else when on the dining plan.

 

[pooh4evr]

I couldn't do it. But I understand the question. The youngest we have taken was just under 1. We didn't feel slowed down by her. The other 2 were 6 and 4, at the time. We used baby swap alot Dad rode with older 2 then 1 rode with them, she enjoyed all the character meals, (I think you usually have to buy any special cups separately). We rented a double side by side from Baby's Best Friend at it was perfect (they have alot of things you can use to make the trip easier). The list of rides babys can't do is pretty short -MK- the mountains, barnstormer (although depending on her height she might make it) , astro orbiter. Epcot- Saorin, TT, MS. DHS- RnRc, ToT, Star Tours. AK- Everest, Dino, Khali. -
Mine have always been able to sleep in the stroller too during the day, we arent mid day break napper people.
The guilt would get me when looking back and having them ask why they weren't there.

 

[mjkacmom]

Every single one of my kids has been left behind on vacations - beach, amusement parks, cruises, skiing.... None of them care. We've also brought toddlers on vacations, and had fun. Do what you want to do.

But not once has one of my kids complained about not going. However, they have complained about going on a great vacation when they were too young to remember it!

 

[tink9702]

I also see it both ways. The guilt of not taking the third child would outweigh the advantages of leaving them behind for me personally.

We used Child Swap in November with my almost 4 year old since she wasn't 40" tall and my 5 year old who was 40". We just took her into the stores to look around, or got her an extra snack if she was fussing about not going on the ride (she really wanted to go on Test Track). DS loved going on the rides twice!

 

[saraheliz]

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer.

I left my almost 1 year old home and took my just shy of 3 year old (she turned 3 the day we left to come home) on her first trip. It was a little different in that it was me, DD, my sister and my mom that went, and the baby stayed home with DH. She was a challenging infant and young toddler, it had been a rough year, and my mom wanted to do something special for her 60th birthday so that's just kind of how it all played out. DH didn't have any desire to go with a 1 year old so he stayed home with her.

It's a little tough now because she does ask why her big sis has gone twice and she's only gone once, but looking back I wouldn't have changed a thing. We went again 2 years later when the the girls were just shy of 3 and 5 and she was still challenging at that age...nothing like her easy-travelling more laid back older sister had been. It was still a great trip but, oh, those automatic flushers were almost the death of us!

If you're going to go again in the next couple of years, I don't think it's the end of the world to not bring her....it's too bad, though, that you can't just bring family to help, that would be the best of both worlds!

 

[Minnesota!]

I think that, other than non-mobile, that is the easiest age to take the kids. I say take her and enjoy it. She will love it, and a family vacation, IMO, should include all of the family..

 

[Crystal824]

Everyone's family has different thoughts on this, but for us, it's not a family vacation if we are not all there.

We do go annually, and our upcoming April trip will be our girls' 6th trip, but it will be different because their baby brother will be joining the family on Monday and he will most definitely be joining us on our trip. He will be 3 months old. It wasn't even a thought that we would leave him behind.

Will it be tougher traveling with an infant? Yup. Will it be a different experience? Yup. But we are an extremely close family, and this little guy will be a part of that. No way would we leave him behind. We actually can't wait for his 1st Disney experience!

This is us too. We are also going in April. This will be the 5th trip for my 4 year old. We now have another daughter who will be 10 months when we go. I could not imagine leaving her behind. Our older daughter was 9 mo. on her first trip. Not everyone does that though. I totally understand that it is harder with a little one. I personally couldn't leave any of my kids at home unless they were older and didn't want to go. To answer your question, no I don't think leaving her behind makes you a bad mom.

 

[mirak]

The fact that you feel guilty about this shows that you're a good mom! But you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Our three boys are almost the same exact age, and we debated leaving the youngest at home. On the one hand, it would ne nice to "treat everyone the same" and to have them in the pictures - on the other hand it's a lot of money and hassle to spend on a child that won't retain any memory of the trip, and could detract from the other kids' enjoyment.

Since we are only doing one day at Magic Kingdom, we decided to hire an in-park sitter for the day to help with all three kids but especially provide an extra set of hands when we wanted to take the older kids on height-restricted rides.

$15 an hour over a whole day can be expensive, but we didn't have to buy admission of the babysitter - pretty much every available sitter in the Orlando area either works for Disney or has an annual pass. They're not hard to find! We used care.com.

 

[delfinavacano]

We have taken our daughters several times - first trip, one was almost two, the other five months, next one one was 3, one was 1... next trip was with a 4 year old and a 2 year old and this coming trip (in March) is with a five year old, a three year old and a ten month old. (I was pregnant during the trip prior.)

We take it slow - we only go for a while in the morning and then go back to our resort for a nap. We have loads of pictures of all of us together. It can be problematic, dealing with toddlers - but you'll learn. For example, 1900 Park Fare was awkward since it's a buffet and one of us (mom or dad) would have to get up and get the food and the other was left dealing with the little ones and scrambling to take pictures at the same time, then we had to take turns eating ourselves... we actually skip buffets now for this reason and prefer to have food served to us directly, it makes it much easier. With the double stroller we could also do naps in the parks and with rider swap, as previous posters have said, our oldest managed to ride rides twice in a row with us and loved it. But most of the time they generally liked the same rides. We also have experience with the baby years, though, and alternating.

Incidentally, the baby centers are awesome. I know yours isn't as little as mine have been, but when I was nursing (and I will be this trip) it was great to just take a break in there for a little while, and we still used them on the last trip or so for a break as well. (The changing station is great and my two year old was still in diapers when we went so we had to use them.) They're quiet and calm and you can relax for a little bit in them.

 

[SEA333]

Hi everyone, I have a question for all you moms and dads out there with little ones. My family is planning our first (Well my husband and kids first. My fourth) Disney vacation in March. My two oldest kids will be 4 and 6. My youngest will have just turned 2 and we are planning on leaving her home here in Michigan with grandma and grandpa.

I am having a TON of guilt about this. My good friend told me to take my daughter and that she will have a lot of fun. While I know that there will be parts that she will love, I know that there will also be times that we all will want to pull our hair out. I feel like taking her will mean that the other two kids will not get as much out of Disney as they would of if it was just the four of us. Other than Ride Swap I have no idea how we could possibly get rides in and I'm really worried about night time. My youngest has a very hard time falling asleep in strange places. Also it will be everyone's first plane ride except for me. The whole thought of taking my youngest gives me immense anxiety.

On the other hand, I can only imagine her face when she sees Minnie for the first time! I would love to have our photos include her and I really cannot imagine leaving her behind but I feel it's just not practical. I begged my parents to come with us for help but they cannot.

We DO plan on going back in a few more years when my oldest can ride everything and my youngest two and can do most things.

What does everyone think?? Am I freaking myself out too much or will it be a total anxiety/tired/irritable fest if we took her??

Leave her with Grandma. She will have fun bonding, and you will have a much better vacation. My kids were 11, 7, and 6 when we went the first time, and the 6 year old could barely keep up with the 11 year old. Had he been younger, our vacation would have turned from a fun FAMILY thing into a mom and dad splitting up with the kids, and who ALWAYS gets stuck with the boring toddler stuff and changing diapers and sitting around while the baby takes a nap??!! MOM!

If you are going to go again in the future, leave the little one this time and take her next time. Your's are spaced out kind of like mine in reverse, and trust me....it's a LOT more fun once they are all school-aged.

(I'm not saying that toddlers don't have immense amounts of fun at WDW, but there is a HUGE difference between taking an only child, or even two children, and taking three children of vastly different ages/abilities/interests when one of them is a baby/toddler. And it is different than bringing a 12, 10, and 6 year old because at least the 6 year isn't still needing a nap and a diaper change!)

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

I see both sides. If your youngest was still a baby it would be a no-brainer. But by 2 they have memories and may always remember the family vacation they didn't get to go on. Even if they had a super fun time with the grandparents, they are going to realize they missed out when you all are talking about the trip, looking at pictures, wearing souvenirs, etc.

 

[Runnergal]

With 2 adults I don't really see how it would be hard to have the little guy with you. Last year when I ran the princess race we brought our 8,6, and 2yo, and left the 10mo home with Grandma. 2yo had the best time. We used a lot of rider swap, which was great for the older kids because they got to ride their favorites twice. A few times we separated and I did rides with the little guy while dh went with big kids. He is 3.5 now and asks to go back. He is also an easygoing kid, though. He barely napped but when he did it was in his stroller, and also fell asleep there at night.(we stayed at YC and had most dinners at Epcot so we could walk back to resort.)
That said, if you don't decide to take db, don't feel guilty. I am all for whatever makes your life easier. Just take her next time.

 

[20yBWDW]

We took ours in 2012 when they were 6, 5, and 2. I do not remember a single hassle with the 2-year-old. There were so many rides that we could fit three on and that she could go on. She loved the shows and parades. She slept in her stroller in the afternoons, while the older two rode the only two rides in the park that she couldn't and they could. She was a good excuse to go back to the hotel for an afternoon break when one of her brothers got tired. She was free for everything except the plane.

That does not mean I am judging you in any way for wanting to leave her at home. My middle one, who was 5 at the time and has some issues, brought more stress and drama than she did. When we were planning a trip last year, he indicated that he did not care to go, and we were perfectly happy to send him to the grandparents for the week. We knew it would be an easier and more relaxing trip for the everyone that way. We had to postpone, and now he wants to go, and we are happy with that choice, too. Bottom line, being a parent means balancing the needs/wants of the whole family. It's not a given that her age will create problems, but there is no rule that the whole family has to go, if what you all need right now can be met by giving her a week with grandparents.

 

[sthrnbelle343]

You're the best judge of the pros and cons since you know your children best. Is there a teenage or young adult that might be willing to go with you and help with the kids? They get a free trip to Disney and you get an extra set of hands and maybe even babysitter in the evenings if you decided to take the older children back to the park or even a night to yourselves?

 

[KB'sMom]

My youngest was just shy of 2 on our first trip - the idea of him on a plane scared the heck out of me - so we bought a ticket for him and brought his carseat on the plane. He was strapped in and did just fine (he was used to being strapped in in the car so he didn't make a fuss on the plane - plus he was able to sleep on the plane).

He did absolutely amazing at the parks. He was able to ride most of the rides and had a blast - I couldn't imagine not having him there. In the afternoon when he was tired I'd take him for a walk in the stroller ad he napped while I did some shopping and DH and DD rode rides.

For nights I would take him back to the room while DH and DD wandered around the resort, played at the park, etc. Once I got him to sleep I'd call DH and DD and they'd come back to the room and DD would go to sleep. Worked like a charm.

 

[TISHLOVESDISNEY]

We just went first week of December. Everyone in my sig.
I am a Disney nut, and couldn't imagine our trip without DS2. His first trip, seeing his face light up the first time when he saw all his favorite characters. Older kids just don't get it like a little one.
Of course our DS2 it tall, so he was 40 inches. But the great thing for other rides, like RR, we could child swap, older kids can go twice if you plan right!!!

We have always taken everyone for every trip, couldn't imagine it without all of us, BUT I know people who do leave younger ones, so do what works for your family!!

Edited to add, doing the opposite in October. Going without the older kids, taking DS2 (he'll be 3 then) for MNSSHP! He LOVES Halloween!

 

[owliecupcake]

I agree with the other people saying that only you know your child and your family. I have gone with a 7 yo, 4yo, and 6 month old with 2 grandmas along to help. The next trip we were there for an entire week with a 9 yo, 6 yo, 2 yo, and 11 month old without any grandparent helpers. I was totally stressed about handling all 4 kids without any extra helping hands, but thankfully the trip went off without a hitch and we all had a wonderful time. The rider swap was wonderful and the older kids loved being able to ride everything twice. There are plenty of things to ride all together. Tom Sawyer Island was one of our favorite get away spots when the little ones needed to get away from the crowds and run off a little energy. Disney does a great job of having things for people of all ages. I am thrilled that we all went together and can't wait to do it again. That being said, I stand by what I originally said. You know your family and what works best for you. If you think it would be best for your youngest to stay with the grandparents, then go for it. Either way, I'm sure that you will have an amazing time.