Do you like to stay with family when you travel out of town?

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

Her husband decided his wife ( my daughter)needed a break from her child rearing tasks and on vacation I needed to take over the baby and tne household chores because I am her Mom. Ummmm we were there for a couple of days and had others to visit. Yes baby boy was 8 days old and cuter tan anything but I did not show up for a "shift" with a newborm.

Oh good lord! That's something my brother would do 100%. But with a newborn 8 days old I would definitely think I was going to pitch in. To be honest I don't think I would stay with someone who had a newborn unless I was willing to at least "take a shift".

 

[agavegirl1]

Oh good lord! That's something my brother would do 100%. But with a newborn 8 days old I would definitely think I was going to pitch in. To be honest I don't think I would stay with someone who had a newborn unless I was willing to at least "take a shift".

I had every intention of caring for the baby so my DD could sleep or at least rest. What I did not appreciate was being assigned a "shift" on a day we planned to visit a nearby national park.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Oh good lord! That's something my brother would do 100%. But with a newborn 8 days old I would definitely think I was going to pitch in. To be honest I don't think I would stay with someone who had a newborn unless I was willing to at least "take a shift".

We had friends of us who had a baby last year. On FB she had been getting into a lot of the mommy blogs and all and she def. posted on FB about how nice it would be if you stop on over to visit if you read this blog or that blog first. This girl is one of the sweetest people you'd meet so it's just her new mommy jitterys and all but boy oh boy one of the blogs in particular. Here's the link to it https://www.baby-chick.com/what-to-do-and-not-do-when-visiting-a-new-baby/

This part of it was interesting.."DO Clean Something
The days and weeks after my daughters were born, the nicest thing people did for me was clean my house. I absolutely loved having folks wash the dishes, sweep and vacuum, fold laundry or wipe down surfaces for me. I was exhausted. The last thing I wanted to do in those postpartum days was clean, so I appreciated these acts of service very much!"

In her FB posts she had said it would be so appreciative if people wouldn't mind doing some of those things. Again sweetest girl here...and we did want to visit them and see the new baby but we also didn't want to be the help there not out of some sort of bad reason. So we waited for some months to pass and she's fairly calmed down now. But absolutely anyone who went, most especially parents of both her and her husband and close friends, would have probably been expected (in a nice way) to pitch in somehow in those early days.

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

I had every intention of caring for the baby so my DD could sleep or at least rest. What I did not appreciate was being assigned a "shift" on a day we planned to visit a nearby national park.

Okay. Seems like a weird lack of communication with your daughter. I would think my mom would help me 8 days out of having a newborn, but if you wanted to visit a national park that's fine. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I just don't have to particularly like yours. And if my mom wanted to visit a national park right after I gave birth she would be very welcome to stay at a hotel.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I had every intention of caring for the baby so my DD could sleep or at least rest. What I did not appreciate was being assigned a "shift" on a day we planned to visit a nearby national park.

Was it a situation where he had to go back to work and was trying to make sure your daughter wasn’t left alone, that someone was always in the house to help, if needed, that soon into her recovery? Because, I got to be honest, if I heard a woman’s mother was coming into town days after the new baby was born, I would assume it was for the purpose of helping the new mother, not for sightseeing the local attractions.

 

[ronandannette]

Was it a situation where he had to go back to work and was trying to make sure your daughter wasn’t left alone, that someone was always in the house to help, if needed, that soon into her recovery? Because, I got to be honest, if I heard a woman’s mother was coming into town days after the new baby was born, I would assume it was for the purpose of helping the new mother, not for sightseeing the local attractions.

...and if I was the grandmother, I would have rushed there for no other reason but to help. A lot of grandmothers would - I think especially if it’s their daughter that’s the new mom.

 

[aprilgail]

HATE HATE HATE staying in someone elses house- I would take a hotel any day over someone elses home!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Okay. Seems like a weird lack of communication with your daughter. I would think my mom would help me 8 days out of having a newborn, but if you wanted to visit a national park that's fine. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I just don't have to particularly like yours. And if my mom wanted to visit a national park right after I gave birth she would be very welcome to stay at a hotel.

I know it's belaboring the point and even though I already commented on it I just went back and reread the original comment.

"But, do not assign me a "shift" at your house to deal with your domestic needs."

By that alone I would have just thought they invited someone to their house and told them they needed to do random tasks around the house like vacuuming, dusting, laundry, etc which yeah might put off people from wanting to stay in your home.

Caring for an 8-day old baby when it's your own mother visiting, whom I think it's reasonable to assume they would be there to see the newborn baby and to help out in ways they could, is not in my book dealing with domestic needs.

I'm going to go further and say honestly if I was considered an inconvenient (by that I mean you had a schedule and could only accommodate a particular time) side trip to see me and spend time with my newborn baby by my own mother I would say you're very welcome to not come at all at that time.

 

[YachtClubWoman]

Hotel only - I want my space and don’t need to be together all the time

 

[soccerdad72]

It depends on the trip - if home visiting my parents, we stay with them. My MIL is a snowbird in FL, so we will stay at her place as well. And friends of ours have a brother who has a lake house in Michigan which we have gone up to a couple times in past summers.

Otherwise, we will stay in a hotel or AirBnB elsewhere.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

No, I don't want to be a bother. I'd rather stay at a hotel than be an inconvenience to family.

Caveat: We always stayed at mom's house. If the POINT of the trip is to visit family, we stayed with family. But we didn't do something like go to Chicago to visit Chicago and crash at a cousin's house or whatever.

 

[jdb in AZ]

I had every intention of caring for the baby so my DD could sleep or at least rest. What I did not appreciate was being assigned a "shift" on a day we planned to visit a nearby national park.

I helped my DD without being assigned, but I also think it depends on the health of the mom and baby. If she had a C-section, that's quite different from my aunt, a nurse, who gave birth then got out of her hospital bed and worked the evening shift. The hospital was short staffed, and my aunt/uncle needed the money.

 

[ronandannette]

I helped my DD without being assigned, but I also think it depends on the health of the mom and baby. If she had a C-section, that's quite different from my aunt, a nurse, who gave birth then got out of her hospital bed and worked the evening shift. The hospital was short staffed, and my aunt/uncle needed the money.

A little OT (sorry), but I actually think that new mom would need help more than the first.

 

[MamaMermaid]

Unless it's my mom (who lives 5 min away), I'd always prefer to stay at a hotel. I HATE staying with anyone - even if I like them!

 

[AndreaDM]

I definitely prefer a hotel, but in the case of my former in-laws (6 hours away) we had no choice but to stay with them. Don't miss those visits anymore! They also used to stay with us when they visited and how's this for a houseguest. I'm highly allergic to shellfish, they knew this. They were staying with us and wanted to buy food to make for dinner. Great, my ex went with them and then called me from the store saying they were all getting lobster, but could pick up a steak for me. WTH?! I was furious, you don't cook lobster in someone's home who's allergic! I waited until they got back, made a dramatic exit, went to dinner with a friend and made sure not to come back until I knew everyone was in bed. That was over 10 years ago. Now, I would handle it differently and say no way in heck are you bringing lobster into my home, go out to eat if you really want it. I didn't have as much of a backbone then and was more passive aggressive instead of direct.