Do I have a right to be worried?

[drp4video]

I went the second week in May last year and it was a great time to go. I assume the third week will be good as well as most northern US schools are still in session. Colleges are out but it was not a factor during my trip. Mostly saw younger kids, not school aged, very few school age kids or college kids.

I just took my 28th trip last May in a 16 year span, and I am not a planner at all, I was faced with FP+ for the first time that trip and in the past, I never even decided what park to go till I got out of bed that day! This past trip, I still didn't decide which park to go to each day until I got up, sometimes weather is a factor, (if raining I don't want to go to Animal Kingdom but would rather do Epcot) and I got my tickets and FP+ the day I went to each park. I pretty much got on everything I wanted and got a lot of the rides with FP+ that I wanted. I wasn't interested in meeting the Frozen characters so those FP+ reservations did not matter to me.

In the past I always had to go during school breaks or summer as my daughter was in school. No more, and now I can go in early September and May. I have found those times to be awesome. No more July or August, Easter or Christmas for me. May is an awesome time to go. Even if you don't make FP+ till you get there, You will be fine. I would just watch ticket prices because knowing you are going for sure, that would matter to me, getting them now to save a few bucks. Since this is just the end of February, I a sure the deposit will clear soon and maybe you can appeal to your fiancé financially letting her know you will have more $ to spend if you get the tickets now, or when the deposit clears. But again, as far as FP+, I wouldn't worry about that aspect. Have a great time.

 

[Robo]

I would just watch ticket prices because knowing you are going for sure, that would matter to me, getting them now to save a few bucks.

That ship is leaving the dock.

 

[eliza61]

She is the financial minded one in the relationship, so I respect that aspect of wanting to make sure we have the money we need for things we actually NEED (rent, food, etc) but when we actually have the money available and I'm told that we need to wait for some other extenuating circumstance, I am not happy.

Umm dude, not to sound flippant but you realize these are theme park tickets and not the down payment for a house.

Chill. Isn't the honeymoon the time you are so over the moon happy about being with your bride, not stressing over get ride reservations??

Some times we stress over trying to make a trip perfect that we forget to enjoy ourselves.

And using the rent money? that was a joke right??

My dh would have a lot more than fp+ to worry about if I even THOUGHT he would blow the mortgage on a vacation.

 

[ArielSRL]

My dad is a lot like your fiancé in the whole "I'm not planning that far in advance" boat. Mom and I just let him ramble and did what we wanted (planned our park days, ADRs at 180 days, we'll do FP at 60 days, etc, etc). But I suppose you can't really do that with your fiancé.......

 

[bumbershoot]

It still hasn't been processed by the bank and she doesn't care because she doesn't understand how important this is to me.

Hmm.

It was during honeymoon-planning that DH started to see how *planning* helps us have a better trip.

She is the financial minded one in the relationship

OK.

You're very right, And normally we don't have a problem with this. I think, in this circumstance, my Disney-crazy side is making me irrational.

Please don't put yourself down.

It does look like there was a miscalculation of when you get to make FP+s, so maybe that was a bit of emotion overload, but just because you're excited about something doesn't make you "irrational".

But I suppose you can't really do that with your fiancé.......

Eh; start as you mean to go on, right? Fiancee seems to be starting in such a way where her beloved's feelings aren't really being taken into account, after all.

(I really hate when my "DH and I got counseling while engaged and that, along with postponing our wedding for 11 months, was the best thing we could possibly have done" side starts popping up in my head...)

 

[larryz]

She is the financial minded one in the relationship, so I respect that aspect of wanting to make sure we have the money we need for things we actually NEED (rent, food, etc) but when we actually have the money available and I'm told that we need to wait for some other extenuating circumstance, I am not happy.

Sounds like your DF's financial style will cause you continual stress and anxiety throughout your relationship.

I've always heard that the best way to check compatibility is to travel with someone... Maybe this trip is telling you something about your relationship to which you should be paying much closer attention.

 

[SaintsManiac]

Sounds like your DF's financial style will cause you continual stress and anxiety throughout your relationship.

I've always heard that the best way to check compatibility is to travel with someone... Maybe this trip is telling you something about your relationship to which you should be paying much closer attention.

These are very good points. I'm in charge of all the finances in my home, but I discuss every single dollar spent with DH. He lets me "do the deals" on Disney and loves the fact that he can go along for the ride and have everything done for him in advance.

Fighting over Disney tickets might be the beginning of a bad situation. Others have probably been with their significant others longer than I have, but after 14 years I know some things. Don't fight about this. It's bad news.

 

[tracynicole21]

These are very good points. I'm in charge of all the finances in my home, but I discuss every single dollar spent with DH. He lets me "do the deals" on Disney and loves the fact that he can go along for the ride and have everything done for him in advance.

Fighting over Disney tickets might be the beginning of a bad situation. Others have probably been with their significant others longer than I have, but after 14 years I know some things. Don't fight about this. It's bad news.

Haha, we've been together for about ten years and have traveled often together, and have lived together for over six; we are the kind of couple who very rarely disagree but emotions can run high at times, just as in any relationship. We each have our things that we are sensitive about and I tend to get emotional when my heart is really set on something and I don't get my way, but we both get over it fast. In the decade we've been together we've had maybe one disagreement per year, so it's definitely not a cause for alarm, just mild irritation. It's okay, I calmed down shortly after I got upset and now we are settling down to have a date night at home! Planning to take a mini break from Disney stressing until the money has settled! Thanks!!

 

[Ensusieasm]

Haha, we've been together for about ten years and have traveled often together, and have lived together for over six; we are the kind of couple who very rarely disagree but emotions can run high at times, just as in any relationship. We each have our things that we are sensitive about and I tend to get emotional when my heart is really set on something and I don't get my way, but we both get over it fast. In the decade we've been together we've had maybe one disagreement per year, so it's definitely not a cause for alarm, just mild irritation. It's okay, I calmed down shortly after I got upset and now we are settling down to have a date night at home! Planning to take a mini break from Disney stressing until the money has settled! Thanks!!

You are on the right track. Don't derail before the wedding!

 

[tracynicole21]

Sounds like your DF's financial style will cause you continual stress and anxiety throughout your relationship.

I've always heard that the best way to check compatibility is to travel with someone... Maybe this trip is telling you something about your relationship to which you should be paying much closer attention.

we have definitely traveled together before, and have lived together for six years, so I definitely know we are compatible, I think what I was seeking was just a place to vent and some comraderie, but I'm good now! Thanks!

 

[soniam]

I could be totally wrong here, and I hope I am, but it sounds like there is more to this. It takes a half hour if that, to set up a bank account.

You would think, but it actually can be a real pain in the neck. Getting an account isn't usually a problem, but trying to get the correct routing info from some banks so that you can transfer your money out of there can be almost impossible. My credit union has been nothing but difficult since I got fed up with them and opened a new account somewhere else. They don't know that I am moving accounts, but they have been denying ETFs to the new bank Sometimes it would be easier to keep it in my mattress I really thought it would only take 30 minutes.

 

[kaytieeldr]

and she doesn't care because she doesn't understand how important this is to me.

I could be totally wrong here, and I hope I am, but it sounds like there is more to this. It takes a half hour if that, to set up a bank account.

Yes, while you didn't ask for relationship advice, it definitely sounds like there's a glitch in the communication process here.

 

[AdamEfimoff]

Umm dude, not to sound flippant but you realize these are theme park tickets and not the down payment for a house.

Chill. Isn't the honeymoon the time you are so over the moon happy about being with your bride, not stressing over get ride reservations??

Some times we stress over trying to make a trip perfect that we forget to enjoy ourselves

And using the rent money? that was a joke right??

My dh would have a lot more than fp+ to worry about if I even THOUGHT he would blow the mortgage on a vacation.

While never suggest using rent money to do a trip. I also want the perfect trip. i spent 8 years planning this trip. And I am so happy I have done that. Some people ACTUALLY like planning trips and love it. I hate when people question that

 

[Nancyg56]

You know what, you kind of put yourself down a few posts back saying something about your crazy Disney side was making you irrational. Most people here have a crazy Disney side and that's why we get along LOL!!! You go ahead and be yourself and don't make any excuses for wanting to be prepared. My husband leaves all the planning to me and let's me do whatever I want, thankfully. I consult him on certain things but mostly I do what I want because I'm more knowledgeable and Disney is my baby. Also he doesn't have as much time on his hands to plan as I do but he is always happy with my planning.

Anyway, tell her to hurry up and get the money situation figured out so you can make your fastpass selection faster. I think you will be much happier with making the plans ahead of time versus buying the tickets when you get there and making last minute fastpasses. She doesn't have to understand why but she should trust your judgement. After all, you are doing it for both of your best interests.

Have Fun!

This was the one thing that jumped out at me. I know that OP did not ask for advice, and was just venting, but I was a little sad for how she thought she was irrational in terms of her Disney side.

We all have strengths we bring to a relationship, and I think it is important for partners to respect each other's knowledge base. my DH is our financial manager. He is really good at it, and I am not. He saves for our vacations and I plan them. I am really good at that. So when I tell him I need a certain amount of money for an aspect of a Disney trip, he does not question it. He knows that I need tix in place to book FP, and that if I tell him there is a drop dead date in place he believes me.

Tracy NIcole knows what needs to be done to have a smoother Disney vacation, and while I agree that she should not use rent money for park tickets, I also believe that her input about money that was earmarked for their honeymoon trip be used for that, and that her partner needs to respect her feelings about the time she takes setting up their vacation account. I think that attitude is really the issue. Not the ticket purchase.

 

[ccudmore]

If the many is in the bank and on the way, why not pay for the tickets with a credit card and pay off the card when the bill arrives in a month?

 

[Nancyg56]

If the many is in the bank and on the way, why not pay for the tickets with a credit card and pay off the card when the bill arrives in a month?

That is what I would do, but my DH the money manager, would rather chew glass and die than "Rob Peter to pay Paul". And that's how he would see it. I bet the OP's partner see it the same way.

 

[eliza61]

While never suggest using rent money to do a trip. I also want the perfect trip. i spent 8 years planning this trip. And I am so happy I have done that. Some people ACTUALLY like planning trips and love it. I hate when people question that

Actually not questioning it at all BUT I do know sometimes uber planners get into a "zone" with trying to plan the "perfect" trip that you make the exact people who are going on the trip miserable.
Now its great that you enjoyed spending the time you did on a vacation, it made you happy. not everyone wants or has to be that way. Maybe because I'm a dvc owner and go often, but I don't "need" to eat at BOG to have a perfect vacation, I don't need to ride TSM. All I ever needed was to hear my son's laugh and for my husband to hold my hand while walking out the park at closing
I have seen people literally nag their family to the point where their kids didn't want to go. literally asked if they could stay at grandma's.

Disney is a vacation imo, not the meaning of my life. I'm just trying to get op to chill, which he has and recognize the true emphasis on the honeymoon. its just like Brides who get so caught up in trying to have the "perfect" wedding that they turn into Bridezilla.

 

[PetePanMan]

as many have said over years, "rope drop is your friend"