Did your Middle or HS kid ever move or change schools ?

[mefordis]

Did your family move when you had a middle or high schooler? If so, how did the move work out for your kid(s)? Did they adjust well? Were things better at the new school? Worse? Did they maintain good grades after the move?

Obviously we are thinking about moving but I'm worried about the impact on my 8th grader, who will be going into HS.

Thanks for any experiences!

 

[easyas123]

Both of our sons switched schools between 8th & 9th grade - they both did just fine with the switch.

My parents moved from NJ to rural DE when I was in 7th grade, spring of 7th grade I think it was. We (had 2 younger brothers in school as well) made out fine. I left high school in 10th grade for boarding school and it was adjustment but also my choice, and I transitioned very well.

 

[anniemae]

I know people who advise against moving kids in middle and high school, but people do it all the time. My kids school has kids coming and going all the time.

 

[White Cat]

No.

 

[peabody58]

I went to 3 different HS's in the late '70's. Would have been 4 but my mom out here foot down and my dad didn't transfer and stayed put. 3000,, 350, and 3500 students each.

It wasn't too bad, It allowed me to reinvent myself each time and get more and more weird, in a good way. Remains a high performing student, all honor courses, as well as lots of extracurricular activities.

Only down side was I ended up becoming one of those undesirable Legacy Fans.

 

[martikus]

I moved from a huge town and high school of 2000 to a tiny town and high school of 200 between 9th and 10th grade and HATED it. Never found my groove. My sister in 8th grade no issues.

So much so I promised myself my kid would never move in high school. Cue rezoning. We didn’t move but our area has experienced such growth my sons middle fed to two high schools and you guessed it -
Most of his friends went elsewhere .

Spent most of 9th grade asking us to move so he could go to other one. I kept telling myself it’s a good life experience better now than in college. 10th grade has been so much better. While he his core group is still the other kids at other high school he’s found a good group now. More confident.

So all that to say it will be what it will be. Even if you try not to move.

 

[QueenIsabella]

We moved twice while we had a child in middle school. It was an adjustment, to be sure, but long-term, they were fine, and even thrived in their new environment.

I would NOT move a child in HS. I know people do, and sometimes it's fine, I just wouldn't do it, personally. I feel that, no matter how you present it, the child is going to feel like you value a job over their well-being. Sometimes, parents have little choice--I get that. But, the child may well resent you. Heck, when we moved the first time, my oldest (entering 8th grade) was PO'd at us for quite a long time. She eventually came around to seeing that it actually helped her, but it was a tense few months.

 

[Forevermarypoppins]

I did!!

JR HS: It was ok since it was a boundary change and many of us were involved.
SR HS: we unexpectedly had to move after 9th grade graduation and I ended up going to the crosstown HS. Again I knew kids because my 2nd JR HS was split into who went to which HS.

I have to say though I have NO great memories of HS and this is possibly why.

 

[fly girl]

I moved across the country when I was going into 7th grade. The lucky thing for me was in my new school district, middle school was 7th and 8th grade. Kids just thought I went to a different elementary school in the area, most had no idea I was from the midwest. (a few could tell by my accent by saying "pop" instead of coke, lol)

I adjusted just fine. No issues with grades or fitting in.

My best advice on if you are going to move, move when they would be going to a new school (i.e. start of middle or start of high school) which it sounds like you are. Puts them on a even playing field that is easy because there are a lot of new kids and everyone doesn't know everyone.

FWIW, my daughter started high school this year. We stayed in our area, but her main group of friends are not attending this school. She had no problem finding new friends to hang out with. She is loving it!

Good luck! If you know where you are moving to, maybe see if your child can shadow at the high school. (We debated moving and had our daughter shadow last year out of state. She liked that school, but not as much as the one she is currently at. With the cost of living where we are at versus the new place, we opted to stay put.)

 

[rlk]

We moved when I was in the middle of 10th grade. I hated it.

 

[SheSingsAlong]

I was a military brat, but got very lucky that we didn't move from 5th grade through 9th grade. In 10th grade my parents made plans for my dad's military retirement and built a house in a different school district. I was so mad. I finally had friends I had known for more than 2 years and felt it was all being ripped away from me.

I am a happy, healthy, (mostly) well adjusted adult and had I not changed schools in high school (in the middle of the school year, no less!), I wouldn't have met my husband.

Suffice it to say: you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life.

 

[disneychrista]

Not my kids. Small town there are only two middle schools & one high school. So even though we moved within town while they were in Middle School & High School it did not affect the school they went to.

My sister & I moved during our High School/Jr High/Middle School ages. She likely had it easier as she started her Freshman Year after we moved I started 7th grade in a school that went 4th - 8th with kids that had been together since Kindergarten. It was TOUGH. I have never been one to make friends easier, even now as an adult. I then switched to the other middle school for 8th grade and it was better.

 

[VandVsmama]

Moved when my kids were midway through 4th and 6th grade. Both struggled a lot that first year. YDD didn't really make friends until 6th grade in the new school...she ate lunch totally alone for a year and a half. She's painfully shy. It was really rough. I wouldn't move my kids unless it was absolutely necessary at this point and they're now in 9th and 11th grade. Every kid is different, though, so it's hard to compare.

 

[georgina]

My family moved in the middle of my 7th grade year from a small town (my old school had 15 kids total in 7th grade) to a large city where there were over 100 kids in 3 sections (overcrowded K-8 catholic school). I was quite shy and did not fit in, also I was academically ahead of the kids at the new school. 7th and 8th grade were horrible socially. Academically I was fine. I chose to go to as different high school than 95% of the group and high school was much better.

My kids all attended the same schools for their entire K-12 years.

 

[brockash]

Did your family move when you had a middle or high schooler? If so, how did the move work out for your kid(s)? Did they adjust well? Were things better at the new school? Worse? Did they maintain good grades after the move?

Obviously we are thinking about moving but I'm worried about the impact on my 8th grader, who will be going into HS.

Thanks for any experiences!

We're a military family so it just goes with the territory. My son was in 3 HS in 3 years, daughter has been in 2 so far. I also work at a HS and for the most part kids do just fine with moves. - I do feel that it takes about a yr for all of us to kind of find our groove and click of ppl. - Honestly that first yr though is kind of nice because my kids are home more and we spend more time together since they don't know anyone that well yet.

I will say I moved twice as a child and was the biggest baby ever about it. It still worked out fine, but my kids do waaayyyy better than I did.

 

[sam_gordon]

Didn't move as a kid and haven't moved as a parent (yet). Hoping to have DD (current Junior) finish at her HS. And she's the last.

I agree with PP who say if you can do it when they would naturally change schools (like between 8th & 9th) that would be ideal. I would not, unless absolutely necessary, move once a child hits 10th grade.

 

[tvguy]

I didn't move, but I did change from public to a private church run school my Freshman year. Just didn't work out. The private schools class schedules were way out of wack with the public schools. I had to take summer school to catch back up. Because I didn't move, that was the only impact, as my friends were still around, I just didn't go to the same school as them for a year.

 

[mefordis]

Didn't move as a kid and haven't moved as a parent (yet). Hoping to have DD (current Junior) finish at her HS. And she's the last.

I agree with PP who say if you can do it when they would naturally change schools (like between 8th & 9th) that would be ideal. I would not, unless absolutely necessary, move once a child hits 10th grade.

Yes it would be the summer before 9th grade. We are thinking private school, too. We just don't think her current school is working out for her, unfortunately.

 

[mefordis]

My family moved in the middle of my 7th grade year from a small town (my old school had 15 kids total in 7th grade) to a large city where there were over 100 kids in 3 sections (overcrowded K-8 catholic school). I was quite shy and did not fit in, also I was academically ahead of the kids at the new school. 7th and 8th grade were horrible socially. Academically I was fine. I chose to go to as different high school than 95% of the group and high school was much better.

My kids all attended the same schools for their entire K-12 years.

Do you mind elaborating on your 8th grade experience? Sounds like it might be similar to our situation. Entertaining moving or a private school.

 

[mefordis]

Moved when my kids were midway through 4th and 6th grade. Both struggled a lot that first year. YDD didn't really make friends until 6th grade in the new school...she ate lunch totally alone for a year and a half. She's painfully shy. It was really rough. I wouldn't move my kids unless it was absolutely necessary at this point and they're now in 9th and 11th grade. Every kid is different, though, so it's hard to compare.

How is your daughter now? Did she make friends?