Yes, I grew up in a dysfunctional family and out of resentment and annoyance cut contact with most immediate family members in my early 20's, but in my late 20's I grew up and got over that. In my 40's now, I look back and still know that some things were wrong growing up and some dynamics in the family still are unfair, but life is not perfect and unless something very extreme happened (outright abuse, abandonment), I believe in maintaining family ties. I'm not emotionally close to any of them, but I do my part to keep things harmonious and enjoy holiday family get togethers most of the time.Was it permanent?
My sisters and I haven't spoken in 2 1/2 years.
I don't know if it will ever be resolved.
I never thought I would be saying this, but maybe I'm better off.
Have you ever felt this way/had this happen?
I haven’t seen my sister in 10 years, but that was her choice not mine. She divorced the man she’d been with since she was 14 (and father of my niece and nephew) and he was (and is) truly part of the family. I was 3 when they started dating, he’s like a brother. She demanded that we stop speaking to him and when we said that we didn’t want to do that she left the entire family. Since she’s left, both my grandparents died and she missed both funerals, and our dad almost died of covid, was in the hospital for 3 months. She didn’t even call. At first I missed her but I’ve gotten over it. It kills my mom though.
My brother broke up with our entire family 6 years and broke my mom’s heart. I was never a big fan of his, so I was not upset about this for me, but I’m still very angry with what he did to my mom. Because of this, when the day comes that my mom passes away, him and his wife will not be allowed to attend the wake or funeral - I will leave a picture of them both with the funeral director. If he refuses to leave the police will be called. I will not allow him to ease any guilt he may have by crying over my mother’s casket. He chose to cut us out of his life so he can live with that decision. My mother knows what I will do at her wake or funeral and she understands. In my opinion, I am now an only child.
People get to tied up in blood is thicker then water and forgive everything because it’s family stuff. You are family biologically because people did the deed, not that big of a deal.
I have a sister, we are 10 yrs apart. She wants nothing to do with me. We never even lived together.
Sad stories both, but why are they almost identically worded?I have a brother, we are 5 yrs apart.He wants nothing to do with me. We never even lived together
Me - No. But I am lucky to have a truly nice family.
My husband - Yes. For the good of his mental health. Once upon a time I tried to tell him to never turn his back on family. Then I learned how absolutely toxic they are. Now I let him decide lol.
My brother broke up with his boyfriend of 5 right before a holiday about 12 years ago. He brought his "ex" to dinner at my mom's house then told us later they were no longer together. I remained friends on Facebook with the ex and my brother went crazy. He disowned my parents for being abusive when we were children - he was in his late 40's by this time and they were typical parents of the 60's but not abusive. My other brothers were disowned for not accepting his being gay and abusing him as a child. He beat up our younger brother often so not sure where that came from. And evidently I did the same thing and refused to do as he ordered about the break up. We all wondered what took the boyfriend so long to leave my brother. My brother has his own demons to deal with and sadly with him everything is always the other person's fault - he is PERFECT!
My brother did the same thing. My dad had cancer about 6 years ago and when my one brother who still had a marginal relationship with him told him about our dad he was very dismissive. He didn't want to "Be drug into their drama". I was furious. My dad was seriously ill and the doctors really only gave him a small chance of survival and I didn't need that from my brother. Thankfully my dad is now a survivor of almost 6 years. My mom truly hopes he will one day speak to her again. She found a friend she hadn't seen in years but still lives around the corner from my brother. They are now speaking on a regular basis and the friend watches out for my brother for my mom. My parents are in their 80's so realistically they could leave us at any time. I don't want my brother at their memorials, my parents don't want big funerals, because he will make it all about him. I am really upset that my parents want him to inherit equally. They gave him their house that he lives in, that should be all he gets in my opinion. I hate feeling this way but to see how much my mother hurts over his actions really bugs me.