Did you and your S/O start out with lean times? Inspired by another thread

[wall*e2008]

When we got married we had very little. We had used furniture and a new table/chairs and couch from Sears that were a wedding gift. We each had a very old car. The TV was mine from a Christmas in the past. DH had a stereo. We had no money and only one of us was employed. Times were very tough but we also have great memories from that time. Our first Christmas where we did not have the time or money to go home. We made our own food and loved it. We had to buy a small space heater to keep warm, since we could not afford to pay to heat the entire apartment. DH would turn the hot water heater off after our showers in the morning. He would them set his alarm for early to turn it on so we could have hot showers.

Those times taught us much about living below our means. It took us until we were married 9 years to buy our one and only house. We remember those times in the past and set ourselves up to live on two unemployment checks to pay our fixed expenses (except for health insurance) and continued to save.

Some times I wish we were back there and just starting out again, because it was fun getting to here. DH is a great person and we have so many more adventures ahead as we grow old together.

 

[momrek06]

We started out (28 years ago) our first apt with allot of items from our parents. Items they no longer wanted. Couch, chairs, table and chairs, pots and pans etc etc. We barely had 600 sq ft apt with one bathroom..one bedroom. Old Victorian house, top floor in a 2story house in MA. We did pick up items here and there at yard sales and consignment shoppes. We had no issues hitting Saturday morn yard sales and even an occasional auction. We were young. We did not have a wedding registry. DH was finishing up his Masters at Harvard. He is also in a field of work that has continuely been very good to us. We did not struggle. We are lucky. We loved that little apt with all our corny little nicknacks. We bought a house before the kiddos were born but I so wish I could take them through our little place. We have driven by it. Still looks awesome.

 

[Jockaroo]

It was definitely lean times, but good times. When we got married, I had to move out of state and into his apartment. It took me months to find a job, so it was very lean. Hubby bought one of the entertainment books that had buy-one-get-one-free food offers. Once a payday, we would look at the book, pick a coupon and have a "date night".

Our furniture was pitiful. The couch was something that had been in his parents damp basement for years. They tried to clean it for him, but I was severely allergic to the cleaner and could not sit on it without breaking out in red spots. The only other "thing" was a broken, overstuffed rocking chair that would throw you backwards unless you sat down in it just right. Our TV was actually a computer monitor with a tuner attachment. We could get 2 (sometimes 3 stations). We had a mattress on a stand (no headboard/footboard) and a broken chest of drawers. The handles were off and I had to make pulls with ponytail holders. (Hate to admit, we are still using this thing today.) Hubby had a dining table, but no chairs. We used aluminum webbed lawn chairs. Our greatest find was a clearance center going out of business where we got 4 really nice chairs for $25 each! They are really nice and I'm proud to say we still use them.

We may not have had all the luxury things we wanted, but we made sure to meet our needs. Bills were paid on time and a little went to savings. We've come a long way from those days, but don't forget them. We don't know if or when things will get lean again. I think it helps to have a time where you don't have everything. You appreciate the little things and you are also more prepared to live if things turn bad.

 

[tinkntraining]

Oh yeah, I can totally relate.

When DH and I got married, we were so poor we didn't have the proverbial pot to pee in. Although both older when we married (I had graduated college, but hadn't found a job yet and was still living with my parents), we'd never really "settled" down. DH worked as a pipefitter, moving to a new city each time a job came open. Thank goodness DH did have some furniture, because fresh out of college, all I had to offer was a 10-year-old TV, a worn out used car and some pots and pans. Our first apartment was terrible! Small, dirty and not in a very desirable neighborhood. Let's just say I turned on the TV one day to find our upstairs neighbor on the Jerry Springer show (seriously, no lie!). But it was home.

Our decorating came mostly from yard sales and the local Goodwill store. Even though it wasn't planned, I got found myself pregnant within a couple months. We moved to NC to follow a better construction job. Was blessed with another baby exactly one year, one month and one day after the birth of our first. (What was it with moving and pregnancy??) Fast forward one year. DH was laid off, had knee surgery with no insurance, 2 babies under two, and a credit card that was quickly reaching it's limit. It was a lot of beans and rice, mac and cheese and hotdogs. Some months I couldn't pay the electric bill and the phone bill, so we alternated. The lowest point, was the day my DH had to sell his guns (that his dad had left him in his Will) at a pawn shop to pay that month's rent. We always planned to go back and get them out of hock, but never had the money to do so. We shopped at consignment shops for the girls' clothes and when the money ran out, we even went to the food bank a couple times. I was mortified at having to resort to the food bank, but damn, I was sure glad it was there.

But, like many other posters, I think we learned a lot about each other during those difficult times. Family was #1 and we always knew we could count on each other in a pinch. A value that is still #1 with us today.

Vacations? Nah. But lots and lots of picnics in the park with pbj or tuna sandwiches. We sure found "creative" ways to have fun for free. It was hard, but we never went to bed hungry or cold.

I never want to go back to those days again, but in a weird sorta' way, I'm really glad we had them.

 

[ckay87]

Us too. When we got married and had DS (all within the first year, incidently...yea, yea, I know...) My DH was delivering pizza and I was a part time temp. Absolutely everything was given to us secondhand or as wedding/baby gifts.

Of course, nobody strives for that lifestyle, but it's not a bad way to start out. I think it did nothing but benefit us. Our income has quadrupled plus in this time, yet we are still careful with how we spend money, but not in a cheapskate kind of way. When we do buy things or take trips, we are so appreciative.

Cool Beans, I was like you with the Disney thing. I never dreamed EVER that we'd get there. We've now had 5 or 6 Florida trips. Heck I'm going tomorrow for a trip all by myself, just because. I never would have imagined such a thing!

 

[ZephyrHawk]

When DH and I first started dating we literally had nothing. He had Pell grants and I had my tuition and room and board paid for. He lived in the student ghetto and I lived in a dorm room. Together, we split our time between both. Eventually, we got part-time jobs on top of our school money and both moved into the student ghetto. I remember being proud at the time that with our regular meal of Kraft dinner and Kool-Aid, I could conceivably feed us both for under $1.

After DH went on to law school, I took a full time job on campus for a year. We lived month to month on my pay. It was actually okay living. We were able to travel a bit and move into a little nicer apartment (wihtout roommates). I got student loans when I got into law school and those paid for our most basic needs (with the part-time job I still kept on the side).

The year after we got married we lovingly refer to as our "Year of Hell". DH could not find a job. He took work as a substitute teacher when he could get it, but that wasn't very often. We lived off of my student loans, which mostly paid only for my tuition, and what little savings I had. We got a not insignificant chunk of change from our wedding...and watched it all trickle down the drain. DH was unemployed for over a year. When he finally told me he'd found a job I said, "Oh, does that mean we're insured now?" I'd been pathetically worried that one of us would be in an accident or get horribly sick and we wouldn't be able to pay. We fought more in that first year of marriage than in all the years since, and it was all because of money.

About a year later and shortly after I got my job, we started looking for a home. I used the very last bit of our savings and cashed in an old life insurance policy my grandfather had taken out on me to put a down payment on it. Things have been...okay since then. Not rosy. Not footloose and fancy free, but okay. I tell people that I pay enough in student loans every month that it's basically like owning a 2nd house. DH just got a new job which immediately adds $11,000 to his paycheck, and will add another $8,000 or so next year, so we've got good prospects.

We'll just have to see.

 

[Jockaroo]

I have been "poor" financially many times in my life, but I have never - not even for a second, felt poor...

True words from a wise man!

For the posters who have mentioned their less than desirable neighborhoods: Hubby was the victim of an armed robbery at his apartment complex before we got married. The week before we got married, he came home from work and saw the apartment next to him had no door and police tape. His downstairs neighbor said the entire building was in lockdown for a swat raid. Neighbor was not allowed to leave the building and go to work. He had to use the news report and his address as proof he was "there". One evening when hubby was working out of town, I was watching "America's Most Wanted" (on one of my 2 TV stations) and I saw a man who looked like my downstairs neighbor (not the one hubby talked to earlier). He had murdered his wife. When hubby called me that night, I told him. He said he was sure it wasn't our neighbor. Well, that neighbor moved out that night and disappeared. I never felt comfortable there. We also have some plumbing issues. Before we moved, I could not take a bath. If I ran the tub full of water, it looked like it was filled with iced tea. I ended up moving my bathroom supplies to our new apartment and bathing there before work.

 

[mickeyboat]

We were poor, too, but we look back at that time rather fondly. It was a lot less complicated, and we were so in love.

We married the summer between college and law school. We made due with DH working as a carpenter and my student loans and summer income. We had two well-used vehicles which ran fairly well because DH bought them before we were married.

We had beautiful furniture because DH built it himself, but no couch. We got a lot of very useful things for our wedding - so we had kitchen stuff and a tv (which we still use 17 years later) and vcr. I remember DH's parents coming to visit us the first year we were married. We unfolded our flip chair and used it as a big pillow. We laid on the floor and watched a movie all covered up in blankets.

Date night and entertainment consisted of either going to my parents' house for dinner (DH did a bunch of work for them), or going to the mall to split a plate of Chinese food from the food court. We could watch people for hours.

We ate macaroni and cheese with hot dogs and Shake and Bake chicken legs. I sent the leftover chicken in DH's lunch every week. Vacations were driving trips to Vermont for the holidays.

We lived in three different apartments while I was in school. I was happy to upgrade to a two bedroom one, but it was in a terrible complex - gunfire, police cars, etc.

After school we moved in with DH's parents for two years while we saved money for a house.

Good times.

Denae

ETA - Cristy - we used rabbit ears, too which we held up with a Midori bottle. We also ate that lunch meat - it was in a package that was like a blister pack, and was so thin you could see through it.

 

[live4christp1]

We didn't have much. Feb 22 will be 19 years ago. DH brought clothes.....that's it. I had my bedroom suite (twin bed) lol..... One bedroom apartment that was still really to much expense for our budget. We had a TV (with ears, couldn't afford cable), it sat on the floor, a rocker my brother & his wife handed down to us, we rented a sectional from rent a center. The dining room little area held my drum set. I had a credit card with a $300 limit (my first card, I'd just turned 19) that we maxed out for towels, dishes, etc. Usually after bills we had about $20 for groceries for a week, we lived mostly off koolaid and sandwiches (you know the real cheap land - o - ???? meat that was about $0.50 a pack. I had a car my parents bought me for graduation, we drove the wheels I off that thing. We ended up not being able to afford the rent - a - center furniture and had to let it go back, we sat in the floor a lot. Never got to play the drums because the neighbors complained. We stayed there about a year and a half, then moved to a duplex.

 

[Disney Doll]

Started in an apartment...nice enough in a nice neighborhood but we didn't have tons of $$. DH is a realtor, and so his income was dependent on market conditions and such.

I have always been happy with what we have. I have never been one to need the best of the best to be happy.

 

[Cool-Beans]

Us too. When we got married and had DS (all within the first year, incidently...yea, yea, I know...) My DH was delivering pizza and I was a part time temp. Absolutely everything was given to us secondhand or as wedding/baby gifts.

Of course, nobody strives for that lifestyle, but it's not a bad way to start out. I think it did nothing but benefit us. Our income has quadrupled plus in this time, yet we are still careful with how we spend money, but not in a cheapskate kind of way. When we do buy things or take trips, we are so appreciative.

Cool Beans, I was like you with the Disney thing. I never dreamed EVER that we'd get there. We've now had 5 or 6 Florida trips. Heck I'm going tomorrow for a trip all by myself, just because. I never would have imagined such a thing!

I always kind of crack up at the Disney "Dream coming true" thing. I'd always wanted to go. My whole flippin life.

They day I first went (and I went alone, Fate smiled on me and got me sent there for a business thing), I stood on Main Street - just stopped in my tracks - and thought, "This is what it is like to see Cinderella Castle." It was my dream, coming true. Surreal, kind of.

I NEVER thought I'd actually get to GO! "That's something for people who have so much money that they can waste it. Certainly not in the cards for me." I just kept my little dream at the bottom of a drawer and took it out once in a while to escape my crappy life and dream of "What it would be like."

And when I first took the kids, I cried during the fireworks. Having been there, I SOOOO wanted to take the kids - but it wasn't in the works then. When I got to take them, it was another dream come true. And I'm not loose with emotion. I don't cry over every stupid thing. It was such a big deal for me.

Funny how the dream I had is the same thing that talks about dreams coming true, lol. And it DID.

But, yeah, furniture. Buying our first non-used furniture was nice, too. Not even close to as nice as going to Disney, though.

But the best part of having money is being able to get away from the druggies, drunks, crazy people and criminals. For the most part, anyway.

Never did I think I'd be as flippin lucky as I am. Grateful every day of my life.

Having been brokedy-broke-broke once upon a time, I have to crack up at people on the trip planning boards who talk about how staying at the Poly (or wherever) is a waste of money they couldn't justify. I so want to say, "Oh, shut the hell up. You're going to flippin Disney World and you want to complain about lack of funds or chatise someone else for wasting money. Idiot. Try being broke sometime."

Also political discussions where they all conservatives are rich. My political ideals were the same then as now. Never thought it was just okie-dokey to take someone else's money just because I didn't have any. HEARD a lot of that crap - never bought into it.

 

[ORMom2Four]

When Dh & I moved in together (he was 20, I was 18), he made $4 an hour, I made $3.80 (1991).

I got pregnant and stopped working when our first was born. We could not afford child care making only $3.80 an hour. We survived (barely) on his $4 an hour at that point. Dh got a yearly raise of $0.15 an hour, lol! Our rent was $320/month, and we were on food stamps. Dh worked during the day and went to school at night.

There was one time that we had NO money, and we had to sell some things around the house in order to get food until the next payday. We ALWAYS paid our rent first, bills second, and bought food & extras last.

Dh got his degree and a good career. He earns a 6 figure salary at this point. I still wear my $20 wedding band with no engagement ring. It reminds me of those early years, and I look back on them with no regrets at all.

I think EVERY person needs to go through the lean times. My dad always said you can't start at the top, you need to "pay your dues" first.

 

[Buckalew11]

I saved ALL my old pay stubs because I wanted to remember the hard time, plus, no one would ever believe that you could work for 2 years and never break 100.00 for a week of work!

It took me months to pay off a Levi denium jackets I put in layaway when I first started work. I lived at home so I didn't have married life bills to put that money towards. I still have the blue jean jacket too!

I'll never forget the first time we walked over to the Beach Club. it was a jaw dropping sight to me and I remember thinking how lucky people were to stay there. I now own a few points there and can stay for about a week out of the year at that very beautiful resort. There isn't a time I walk into that place that I don't feel the awe of what I am doing there. I am most grateful and thankful and never, ever want to take a trip to WDW for granted.
We usually stay at the S/D during trips and I am equally in awe of those resorts.
When your first trip was at motel 6 and you end up at the S/D, your heart melts with gratitude. I can be happy at a value or even off-site, but getting to stay on-site (esp. at the Epcot area) is absolutely a blessing to me and I thank God every time for those that have made it possible for me to vacation at super nice resorts.

I also think it makes you more grateful for what you have when you go through lean times and struggles. Let us each never forget those hard times--they made us who we are now!

 

[dnoyes]

I came from the average middle class family where I was given everything I needed and a few things I didn't. My wife came from nothing less then absolute poverty and depended on the kind souls of complete strangers and the odd distant family member. I'll leave it at saying we didn't have a lot of support from my family for our relationship and her's were just glad she was gone.

We had been separated in our teens when her family chased a job in Seattle and mine relocated back to the bay area but we never lost touch. Several years and a million secret letters later we decided to take a leap of faith and go against family wishes and take a chance on love. We decided that Boise Idaho would be our home (that's where we had met) so in the summer of 83 I set out in my car with all it would hold and she boarded a bus for Idaho.

Our first place was a basement apartment with very little light and even less air. I thought I had died and gone to hell but to her it was a castle and her it's princess. We took any work we could get and saved every penny we could but it never seemed to be enough to get ahead. We ended up buying a used travel trailer and parking it in a RV park and moving in to it so we could save money. Those were the days my friends of frozen pipes and leaking roofs but in the end it served it's purpose and we were able to buy a house just six months before our first daughter was born.

Fast forward 25 years and we still talk about the best time of our young lives were had in that old nasty trailer. 150 miles from our home we have a lot in an old mining town that we go to most weekends. Sitting atop the hill is our "new" old nasty travel trailer. We wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[Tink33]

DH and I were just talking about our first year of marriage. I was a full time college student making $4.00/hr at an afterschool program, and DH worked full time at a golf course at $6.00/hr. I remember our first visit to the grocery store. We spent $70.00 because we needed all the staples and I cried in the parking lot because I didn't know how we would ever make it on our incomes.

Our entertainment was a Nintendo game system. We would play Legend of Zelda until 2 am many nights. And I was really good at Duck Hunt.

 

[HunnyPots]

My daughter is getting married this summer and has been concerned about their finances. Recently I told her and her fiance about our beginnings.

DH was in school and working part time and I was working full time. We lived in a three room apartment in a VERY questionable neighborhood. I always felt pretty safe though. Afterall, the police were there almost every night! What little furniture we had was hand me down or garage sale. Our grocery budget was about $25 a week; we lived on tuna, peanut butter, store brand white bread, cheap luncheon meat, and kool-aid! And you know what? We didn't care! It was all ours and we were happy!

 

[irishbosoxfan]

It seems I would fit in nicely here!

DH and I were each newly divorced when we met each other and our exes got the "pot"!

We first lived with DHs best friend and his new wife who were in the same situation as us--It was the guys apartment and us females moved not only into it but into their hearts!
Hubbys friend got PCSed to Fort Lewis and we couldn't swing the apartment on our own so we decided to move onto post and when that decision was made was the time I found out that what little furniture that was in the apartment was being rented!(Which was good because the couch smelled like cat pee and we didn't have a cat so I was more than happy to send it back!)

So when we moved into "our" place all we had was:
A full size air mattress
19 in tv(though we didn't have cable till I figured out how to get it for free one day while mowing the lawn )
hubbys stereo
some kitchen items
and a lime green bean bag chair

Our first Thanksgiving was celebrated sitting on the floor,our first bed came about a year later from friends who gave us their old one because they replaced it.The same with our couch.

I had my first heart attack one month after we were married so we were making due with a Specialists salary which wasn't a whole heck of a lot but somehow we made it work(Usually by bouncing a check to buy groceries )

All the furniture we bought came from second hand stores and because of my dad I was able to refinish them which helped boost our income because I would go buy a piece for $5,$10 dollars,refinish it and sell it for at least 10x as much.

We never fought about money(well, once I taught DH that his underwear didn't have to come from the mall!) because we knew we didn't have any.We would entertain ourselves by talking late into the night or putting on the radio and dancing.

I look back now with pride--They say the first year of marriage is the hardest and about half don't make it--but yet we made it thru more than just the first year under some of the most stressful circumstances.

We will never forget how far we have come and never forget that we made it thru thanks to each other.

 

[crz4mm2]

started with basically nothing. Added as we went. Ate a WHOLE LOT Of mac and cheese (box kind-5 for 1.00) and hotdogs......

Lean, yep.

 

[jen0610]

When we got married, 1991, we stated out with:

my full sized bed
my dresser and night stand
his dresser
late 60's, early 70's davenport his parents bought us
2 chairs his mom didn't want any more
2 end tables and coffee table my aunt gave us
1960's dinning table his parents bought us
1960's table that the tv sat on (ds13 currently has the table in his room)
27 inch tv that DH had
13 inch tv that I had
DH's vcr
DH's stereo with turn table (which we still have)
Nintendo which DH had - was our saving grace for entertainment
kitchen items - either wedding gifts or items my aunt or our parents gave us
bath room items - the cheapest we could afford

The only thing we bought to start out new with was our car. His 1970something Ford Galaxy tank was not the car we needed. I could hardly drive the beast. My car was on it's last leg. Traded his in and my parents kept my car for their use.

And when I say Nintendo was our saving grace, I am not joking. Stationed at the little Army depot we were, there weren't many entertainment options. We spent many an evening with Randy and Jarrod at our place playing hours of Nintendo. I wouldn't have traded those days for anything.

 

[disneyeveryyear]

I remember sitting down to pay the bills the first time after we got married. (21+ years ago). After paying all the bills, we had $4 left in the checkbook to last for 2 weeks. I remember calling my DH at work crying. How was I supposed to do this?

We had a 13" TV in the living room that didn't have a remote (GASP- you had to stand up and go to the TV to change the channel), or cable.

Our one saving grace was that our housing was provided by my husband's employment, so we didn't have rent, utilities, etc.

We have come a long way, but in some ways I hope my kids learn the lessons we did from struggling together. I think it made our marriage stronger.