Diary of a Woman on the Edge -- Please Free To Read Along/Post Along!

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

Well we might as well be honest here and many days I do feel as though I am on the edge (of what I''m not completely sure) and I've allowed that to fuel my "need" for food (ah...it's so comforting -- especially when it's high in sugar and useless calories).

I am pretty nervous about committing myself to this, but I have started writing this down, which means I am committed. To myself and to my WISH buddies (couldn't make it without their support).

Yesterday was "Day 1". Food intake consisted of a bagel, an apple, a non-lette (based on Chef Stephen's special breakfast for me at the Whispering Canyon -- I have serious food allergies which means I can't eat alot of things many of which are suggested for dieters -- poultry, eggs, beans) which consisted of potatoes, onions, peppers (two kinds), ham and mushrooms sauted with a little olive oil (tried to use as little as possible). And then I did have my "fix" of chocolate (6 points worth!). Exercise wise I did walk my 30 minutes and did my 5 lb weight lifts with my arms for about 20 minutes or so. I walk in the mornig because I won't do it at night. In the evening DH put on some music in the computer room and I just picked up the weights and went with it. Moving to music is much easier. Exercise should be fun! So my advise to anyone who cares to read this is that if you can't get out there to walk or do whatever it is you like to do, put on some good music and just go wild. Dance like a fool. You'll feel good and get that heart rate up there.

This morning I had my cereal (munch on it when I am at work -- should try to hold off eating it because then I get the munchies later, but we'll work on that) and am drinking my propel water (I know, it's not as good as the "real" thing, but at 10 calories it helps me drink my water).

Work has been very stressful lately and I'm trying not to let it get to me. Example, this morning while I was sitting in my office I see that my boss (the president), the service manager and one of our apprentices (who also happens to be a professional photographer, but that is another story) were outside taking photos for use in marketing material. Now as the manager of the marketing dept. you'd think I'd be in on that. But no (remember John Belusi when he did that?). First two years here were great, 2nd two have been rocky (review is in 2 weeks). Sometimes I wonder if its' time to move on, but with DH out of work, I don't want to rock the boat (plus I made a decent living here and I'm truly afraid that I wouldn't be able to find anything comparable money wise). I know my stress at home (DH unemployment and infertility/adoption issues) laps over to work and vice versa. And I'm not as focused as I should be, but as much as I try...

Deep breath...

It's only life.

More later?

Thanks for listening (reading).

Later...or afternoon at the office

I was DYING for my salad. It was so good. I wish I'd bought more on my weekly trek to the grocery store. This week I'll definitely get more lettuce and stuff.

Still a little stressed out here at work and after lunch I could hear the vending machine calling me.

So I went back there and put my money in and I did get a candy bar (Goldberg's peanut chews -- another bad addiction). However, I can say a positive thing about this. There are 7 chews at 1 pt a piece (according to my old WW chart). Now usually they would all be gone in a couple of minutes. But this time I ate only 2 and came directly to the board to start posting and reading (keep me busy and off the junk food). It's a small triumph for me and 2 points isn't bad. So far my total point consumption for the day is 10 pts! Of course I know that when I get home will be the hardest part (I'm a "home" eater. I have NO PROBLEMS eating out -- especially since I have horrible food allergies which means I'm pretty much tied to eating only plain salads when I am out. But when I get home...that's when I go hog wild!). Need to keep myself busy, eat moderately and do some more of those arm weight lifts tonight.

Final Update for Today

Ok, dinner is over and I'm up to my allowed 27 points. If I could cut out the chocolate, I'd be doing even better. But believe me I have seriously cut my chocolate/junk intake over the past 2 days. Have to take this one bit at a time.

Well, it's back to some arm weights and the battle of the bathroom ants before I shave my legs. (Ants in the bathroom is enough to drive you to an extra large multi-topping pizza. We've been battling these guys for a while. We had the exterminator and they went away. But now they are back and they must live behind the wall in the bathtub. I can't even take a nice relaxing bath...who could with ants [no matter how tiny and harmless they are].).

See ya tomorrow!

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

A new day and God do I feel Fat/bloated. At least I can tell the difference between PMS bloat and "I pigged out" bloat. I feel like I need to have a spigot put in me and be totally drained. The dam is scheduled to burst for another 4 days or so...maybe upping the exercise would help a little.

Our two days of sun have given out to the nasty rains again (last year we had a serious drought, this year we had more snow and rain than I care to recall). Morning walk was out (if it had just been a drizzle it would have been another story). Now I know I'm not going to have exercise time tonight (choir night -- does an hour and 1/2 of singing burn many calories? Hitting those high notes alone should be cause for a pound drop). So I improvised. I don't have any of Leslie Sansone's tapes (they have self destructed) so I just marched/walked as she has you do while watching the news. I did some upper body/arm work along with it (though nothing as intense as Leslie does). This went on for about 40 minutes. I will make some time tonight to do some more arm lifts (get DH to turn on the music and go).

We do have a treadmill in the basement which I haven't used for years. Has nothing to do with my not wanting to use it, but it does have everything to do with the racket it makes (you can hear it with the basement door shut, the kitchen door shut all the way up to the 2nd floor) and the fact that it eats electricity. MY PSE&G bill is high enough thanks to all the electronics that my DH works on (don't ask me how many computers we have at home. Most people buy a Tivo; he built one!). Plus I get bored on it, even with watching tv (which has to be cranked up to LOUD just to hear it over the noise of the treadmill).

Tonight is spaghetti night, so I know I need to be extra careful with my points. Cereal & coffee so far (3 pts). Salad for lunch (2 points for the yummy honey mustard vingrette I put on -- and for the first time I actually measured out 2 tbs and poured them on) and a couple of pretzels (2 more points). That brings me to 7. If I have a chocolate breakdown, I can afford 3 more points before dinner. I'm definitely going to work on portion control too. Then it's off to choir and then collapse.

Tomorrow is my early day. Office has a diner meeting at 7 AM (means on the road by 6:30 at the latest). To be honest, I HATE our diner meetings. First reason is because of my food allergies. I'm always surrounded by omlettes, scrambled eggs, etc. and the smell of it just gets to me (most people don't seem to realize that people with allergies can be sensative just to the smells. I saw a great ad for the Epipen in the Ladies Home Journal where is shown in a time frame for. First time 9:12 AM is "Lisa eats a bagel that shared a bag with cranberry walnut bread"; 9:17 AM: LIsa's severe allergy to nuts gives her hives, a swollen tonge and a closed throat". It's as simple as that and most people don't get it. I purchased bagels a few weeks back and asked for 6 plain, 3 onion. Got 6 plain and 3 egg [thank GOD DH noticed the color]. I was afraid to eat any of the bagels and with good reason). Second I'd rather not waste my points that early in the morning. I will try just to have juice. Usually I end up having cereal too which totals up to about 7 points. I'd rather NOT have that much that early.

Other random thoughts: While doing my little living room walk and flipping around the channels I saw this thing on Nickelodeon which really intrigued me. I believe it was an original production done by their sister station Noggin. It was something like "Walk In Their Shoes". Didn't see the whole thing, but they took this skinny girl and put her in a fat suit and make up and she got to see what it felt like (she had some overweight friends). I really thought it was interesting -- there is a lot of prejudice out there and this really exposed some of it.

Which reminded me of how cruel kids can be. I have always been overweight. I was a cute, but slightly chunky kid. I don't think I ever felt bad about myself until 4th or 5th grade. I had an orange parka/winter coat and this one boy (who happened to be my best friends twin brother) taunted me about being a "big fat orange". I'm almost 37 so those words have echoed around in my brain for approximately 30 years! Things go downhill (or up weight) from there. Like I said, I was an adorable kid (if I do say so myself), "peaking" between 1-9. Then I hit adolescence and I got fatter, pimplier and just all around ugh...(I look at some of my teen pictures and just want to cry). I got better looking once I hit the "real" world in my 20s and think I'm not bad on the attractiveness (outward) scale today. But with a few pounds off me I think I'll gain more self confidence.

Well that's enough prattling for this morning...

Evening Update

Well I had 5 points of chocolate a lunch. Bad girl. But instead of making myself feel crapppy about it, I just realized I would need to eat less pasta at dinner (which I did) and less desert. As it is I am right at 25 points right now (which is in my range).

It's always been hard for me to stay on the low end of the point scale. That's something I'll have to work toward.

And I've been working on meal plans too. Since tomorrow is a breakfast meeting, if I have cereal and juice -- that should be about 7 points. For lunch I will have an apples and popcorn (the high fiber no fat that I mentioned in the apple post on the WISH board). That will bring me up to 10. Dinner will be 12 points...leaving me some "chocolate room". Can't believe I was thinking all of this on my drive home (well it was more productive than stewing over traffic!)

Time to get out those weights before choir.

 

[lmhall2000]

Just read your journal and wanted to offer some encouragement!! This group is great with ideas, recipes, exercise you name it- and you did the right thing by coming to post and read when you could have been having a vending machine bender! My husband will go buy happy meals for the kids on the weekend and I come and sit at the computer so I don't scarf any leftover fries- I tell him it's his duty to trash all remains before I return!
You've got a great attitude and you're doing great!! Keep up the effort and you'll be as big a loser as all the rest of the wishers!!

Tara

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

Here it is 10:30 and I had breakfast and I still wanted something. Propel water to the rescue. That will keep my "mouth" busy.

Tried to be smart at this morning's breakfast meeting. I did have cereal, but went for raisin bran. Figured the high fiber would help a little. Did have 1/2 a glass of juice and some coffee. More than I should have, but...I've got my high fiber low point popcorn to fill me up later (along with my yummy apple).

I'm a little nervous about the weekend. It's a long one and weekends are where I tend to lose control. I guess I'll have to keep posting and reading alot over the weekend to keep myself away from the kitchen. Of course on Saturday I'll be busy with a CPR course (who schedules a course for Memorial Day weekend? Ugh. I want to go, but I would think the woman at my church who set this up would have thought about it before scheduling 10 or so people to attend!). I have no idea how long this will be. And I really like my Saturday mornings to do a long walk (of course it's supposed to be rainy all weekend long ) and just do the morning paper thing with DH.

Hoping for a little warm sunshine this weekend. I need it to "photosynthesis" !

Time For The Afternoon Update

Well, you'd think that all the raisin bran would fill me up. But I was really hungry before noon. Held off till about 12:30 before I went to lunch. Feeling full now...just hope it lasts.

Really wish it was nice out. I could stand to go for a walk, but of course I'm working so I'm just sitting here in my little office wishing I were some place else (like WDW).

Speaking of my favorite place (were we?), I seem to always lose weight in WDW. Guess it's all the walking I do. Wishing I was walking there now. I could stand to do a few laps around the WS!

The Evening Update

Day four and I blew it. Definitely went over the point scale. BUT this time I am not going to beat myself up over it. I was just so hungry (need to do something before I get to that point so that I don't scarf) and as poorly as I did, I didn't go as wild as I used to. I think I am about 5-6 points over, but I had 2 left over from yesterday and if I'm good tomorrow...It's all in theh planning, right?

Also since I had to be in early (for the breakfast meeting), I didn't walk. It's cold and miserable here in NJ. When is it ever going to get warm??? UGH! I think a hot shower and into bed is called for and start the new day off tomorrow with better results. (I'm leaving the alarm set to the earlier time so that I will have more time to walk tomorrow -- or if we still have rain I'll just do my own version of the Leslie Sansone Walk Aerobics for an hour or so).

 

[geetey]

Hi there!!
I was reading your journal, and I have that chocolate thing going on too. I don't know if you have found Dotti's web site www.dwlz.com but it is a great resource for WW info! I am doing WW on my own as well. The support of WISH is all I need (so far ).
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you can have FOUR mini Tootsie Rolls for 1 point! Yum!! That is usually enough to hold me. A Tootise Pop is 1 point as well! These two treats are my lifesavers - especially around PMS time.

Keep drinking that water. It will get easier. I have found if I drink from a water bottle with a sports top, it goes down MUCH quicker!!

Onward and downward..... You are doing it!!

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

Well after my post last night, DH put on some music and decided why feel bad about what I had done. So I just started marching and using arm weights for about 20 minutes. I was really lifting those knees!

Then this morning, it was drizzling and cold (which is why I have my Dunkin' Donuts coffee here with me. I don't think I'm going to drink it all, but I can hold on to it and keep my hands warm!). But I figured, I'd better get out there and get moving after yesterday. I had left the alarm for the earliest time (5:15 -- UGH) and was out the door by 5:22. Walked for an hour (up and down the hills). When I got home, I did my usual leg lifts while brushing my teeth & drying my hair. DH had good music on again, which made it easier (I actually had to "stop" myself so that I could get out of the house and to work. Good music makes all the difference in the world. Give me some up-tempo popp-y songs and I can just dance around!).

This weekend is going to be a BIG challenge for me. I have a hard time controlling my eating habits when I am home. Its supposed to be a lousy long weekend too. Cold and rainy (and this is the beginning of summer? At work I'm trying to get people to buy clean & checks for the A/C systems. I should have no problem at this time of year, but it's way too cold for A/C and no one's going to have their heat fixed in May!!). I'll keep busy for a couple of hours on Saturday (CPR course) and Sunday (church), but then I'll be home and the kitchen will be calling. Suggestions???

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

Ok, I'll be honest (I hate honesty), I've gone over my points every day (I think...haven't been real good at calculating), but on the positive side I've been better on the weekend than I ever thought I would be. With the rain on Saturday, I stayed inside and did the 4 mile walk with Leslie Sansone. That was a killer (mile 3 especially). And this morning, I got up before church and walked for 45 minutes in the fog. Again, in the past, I would not do my walking exercise over the weekend, so that's good.

The past 2 weeks have been very stressful and today was no exception. Some times I feel like life just keeps smacking me in the face. No matter what way I turn, I keep smacking into brick walls and just when I think I'm moving in the right direction, something else whacks me. Dealing with unemployment for DH (frustrating beyond belief), infertility/adoption (and I think I just got my period -- which always makes me feel like I've failed yet again. Know I shouldn't but...), this on going ant problem in the bathroom (they live in this wall -- and no matter what the exterminator does they seem to survive. And if we kill them upstairs they migrate downstairs to the kitchen -- all the same wall), the bad weather...And today (and I can't believe I'm even writing this), I smacked off a side view mirror. The only "good" thing about that was it happened right outside of church and I knew it had to be someone in the choir with me. I was 99% sure of who's care it was so I just went up to her and said I accidently hit her side view mirror and she'd need a new one. I'd pay for it. She's had it taken off before so she thinks it will be $150. And I even offered to give her a check that afternoon, but if she gets it fixed on Tuesday, I can give her a check during choir rehearsal on Wednesday. I managed to hold it together all during rehearsal and service and then completely fell apart when I got home. I KNOW things could be much, much worse in my life, but sometimes I feel like I keep getting hit with more and more things and I don't know how to handle it all.

Is it any wonder I turn to food for comfort? (Which I admit I did this afternoon). Sometimes I feel like I'm battling for my sanity and if this is all some sort of sick game (I think back to that episode of "South Park" -- that Earth is all one big reality show for the aliens. Some sadestic alien is getting a big kick out of my breakdowns).

Don't want to end this entry on a down note, so I will say, that despite all the crap, I feel that, at least weight wise, I'm slowly working to the better. I'm not doing as much as I feel I "should" be, but I'm doing better than I would without this board and the support I feel.

Tune in again for another bizarre episode...

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

Well finally some sun...figures it comes back after a long cold weekend.

Yesterday I did terrible. I was munching all day long. My only saving grace is that I did the Leslie Sansone 4 mile walk again (too much downpour to go outside) and did more weight lifting (5 lb each arm) and "marching" in the afternoon.

Got on the scale and it seems that I am down 2 or so pounds. I know I should be happy about that (and I am), but now I am afraid to get back on for fear of my screwing around this weekend will push it right back up.

Add that to extreme PMS (I am so almost starting my monthly that it's not funny -- I usually have 2 to 3 days where I think I'm starting, but not really). So I feel awful right now.

And the PMS is probably why I can't get out of this funk. I feel so depressed. I have reason to right? DH out of work...infertility...adoption process seemingly stalled...work not that great...everything seems to be weighing down. No wonder why DH and I don't sleep well at night.

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

Well I think I made it through yesterday with my points intact.

Just wish this weather would clear up and give me some warm sunshine (what little sun we had yesterday faded away). I think all this cloudy, rainy stuff is contributing to my blues.

It was pouring this morning, so I just walked/marched in front of the tv for about 40 minutes. (Didn't put in the tape -- I can't just do part of it and I knew I wouldn't have time for the hour).

Finally started my period, so hopefully a little water weight will come off (although I seem to "gain" a little at the end of a cycle which makes no sense -- then again nothing about me ever seem to make any sense). Had horrible cramps for a while yesterday (wanted to crawl under my desk and rock back and forth -- don't think the boss would like that. He doesn't seem to like me period these days and that certainly wouldn't help).

I really do like my job, but my review is next week and I'm nervous. I was nervous last year too. My first 2 years were good, but these past two...I know my concentration/focus isn't as good as it once was due to everything that's going on in mylife. I just wish I got more positive feedback than consistent negative. I'm beginning to feel like I do nothing right. Ever.

Sometimes I wonder if we should just pick up and move somewhere else and start over. Great thought, but I can't see putting it into motion. Just too risky. One of us out of work is one thing...two of us????

Rambling, rambling...

Anyone have any cheery thoughts?

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

Well I stayed on point yesterday (right in the middle of my range). That's the only good news I have.

If anyone out there is actually reading this, I could use lots of pd and prayers and anything else you've got.

If stress could make you lose weight, I'd be a size 0 by now. I've heard it said that God never deals you more than you can take, but right now I feel like I am a punching bag for God. Something bad happens, I get through it and then something else happens...I really had a rough night of it...2 really upsetting things happened...

#1 I got a phone call from a vendor who wants my business (funny when we first moved into this building I tried to call this company and never got a response, but that was 2-1/2 years ago). Any way this guy said he saw our ad in the NY Times. Well since I'm in charge of advertising and would never place an ad there (out of our area), I'm trying to figureout what the heck he's talkinga bout. Then I figure out that he's talking about a classified and it sounds like it's for my position. I didn't freak out, but I did get pretty upset. I'm trying to convince myself that this guy is wrong -- especially since I had my DH scour the on line classifieds on the NY times and when I got my job here, that's not where the position was advertised. If it was advertised in any NJ papers I would have seen it -- since I continually check for DH. But still it is unsettling -- enough to make me sick to my stomach to think of it.

#2. I got the "bill" from the little accident I had over the weekend. Good thing I had a cd come due and had the money put in my checking. It wasn't only $150. Let's just say it would cover a flight to WDW, park tickets and hotel for at least 3-4 days. I just wrote the check and tried to remain calm. Worst part was I was ok for a while, but then while I was sitting there during choir rehearsal (which is where I saw the woman who's car I hit), I could feel myself losing it. My eyes would well up. I couldn't wait to get out of there. Fell apart on my DH when I got home.

Is it any wonder I still feel sick? HOw can I get this feeling in my stomach to go away?

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

Ok, as much as I want to do this, I am SOOOOO stressed out here at work. I'm just trying to keep afloat and can barely think about what to eat and what not to. You'd think this non-stop knot in my stomach would help me NOT eat, but...

I don't know how much I'll be around to post stuff. I just had my annual review (sort of) and it basically said, You Suck (can I say that here?). It doesn't look like I'm getting fired (at least not for now), but it sure hurts alot. ANd it's not that I disagree with all that was written down, but I think a kind word somewhere along the way was/is in order.

So that's the scoop...

 

[PAdisMOM]

AHM, I get so sad reading your posts. It sounds like you're going through so much. I also struggled with infertility. I now have 2 DDs, but I will never forget how awful it felt to wait for them. I think that that led to much of my weight gain. I was so depressed that I just ate and ate. It does seem like you have too much other stuff to deal with to worry about losing weight right now. But when this is all over, the extra food you ate won't have done any good.

I guess I would suggest trying to eat healthy, but not worry about losing weight. Just my opinion.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

PAdis, thanks for your thoughts and prayers...we need them...I feel like we are hitting the bottom of the barrel.

Of course if there is a positive side, it's that I lost another pound. (Down about 2-3 lbs total depending on how the scale jiggles). I had a crappy dinner around 7:30 which was high point, but I still stayed in my range. Basically I got home last night, fell apart on DH. DH then fell apart. The two of us would alternate between crying and shaking and just being plain old scared. I am really at the point where i want to pack up and move and start over, but is that really the smart (financially?) thing to do? Then the two of us spent time looking for jobs for both of us before I finally packed it in. Ate a little (DH did not -- maybe he'll lose some much needed weight too). Took a shower. Took a tylenol PM and went to bed around 8:30. Probably got to sleep around 10. Woke up around midnight and couldn't sleep. Was all shaky and crying again. DH did his best to calm my fears and probably got back to sleep around 1:30. Woke up at 4. Woke DH up at 5:30. Got out of bed at 6:20. Got to work by 7:40. Didn't do my daily walk...felt like I needed some cuddling more than a mile or two.

I hate this feeling of insecurity. I don't know what to do. I was hoping for a trip to WDW in December (even have MVMCP tix), but I think that is off (anyone want to buy MVMCP tix??). I am wondering if we should not pursue adoption at this point either.

Everything is just so up in the air and it's really running havoc on my health.

Thanks for listening and for any pd you can spare.

 

[Sue & Co.]

Just wanted to post some PD and some {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}},
I know right now it must seem as if there is no light at the end of the tunnel but you've just got to hang in there and have faith. And keep up the posting we're all here for you.

Sue

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

Well here we are another day...and I'm feeling a bit more positive (although I did down a bag of M&Ms -- 5 pts gone in an instant).

My problem is my written review which requires me to write an essay on how I plan to turn around the dept. in 90 days says I'm horrible. And I was a mess after getting it. But since then, my boss has been very positive with me. For the first time in a LONG time he came to my office and sat down and chatted in a very positive way. It wasn't all work related, it was just relaxed. As a result, I felt better and was able to write most of the essay in a positive light.

With the economy and the weather he's been a bear. And I understand why. And I also understand where he's coming from -- I'm not totally disagreeing with what he wrote. It's all self fulfilling prophecy (I actually emailed him a link about the theory and asked him to read it before our meeting this Friday). He tells me how disappointed he is in me and that makes me down and I just screw up more; hence he is more discouraged, tells me and I screw up some more. It's a vicious circle. On the other hand in my first few years here, everything was much more positive and I think I did a good job (despite the fact that he claims that the good results were because of a good economy). In my review he says the roller coaster of my personal life is affecting my company life. I would agree with that statement up to the end of last year. Now it's the job that is tearing up my home life.

I hope we can discuss this calmly and rationally on Friday. I can see his side, I hope he's willing to see mine.

On the other hand, I know next week is going to be better as he will be out of the office Monday & Tuesday and I will be out attending a seminar on Wednesday and Thursday.

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

Well the sun is shining here (FINALLY) which definitely perks up my spirits.

I was SUPPOSED to meet with my boss at 9 AM, but he pushed it back to noon. I am ok with that, as he at least was in a positive frame of mind when he told me we needed to reschedule. I am going to hound him about it though. We NEED to talk and I guess I need to be more "assertive" in getting him to do that. I also need him to be more upbeat.

We are (hopefully) going to visit my folks at the shore this weekend for my birthday. Weather will make a big difference. Weekends are challenging times for me. Of course to be honest, this week has been so stressful/rough, that I really haven't been monitoring my point intake and I only did my 40 minute walk on Saturday, Monday and today.

It is my hope that I will be able to turn a corner with my boss today and then get back on track with WISH. Too much turmoil this week.

WISHing everyone else the best this weekend.

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

Ok, the horrible week is gone, the weekend is gone and I'm ready to get back on track today.

I am down approximately 3 pounds, which over 3 weeks isn't a bad thing (although it could be better). I need to hunker down and do better.

After last week, I was just eating what I could when I could (I was so upset I couldn't eat and then I would eat junk). And this past weekend was my birthday and mom was feeding me all sorts of comfort food. The comfort was good, the calories were not.

So on track now...

Walked for an hour this morning, as I am working the late shift. That means that I didn't munch on my cereal until 11 AM. Of course I won't do lunch until 4 pm and it's not even two and I have the munchies (or maybe it's just tendium?). I made a fruit salad for lunch which I am really looking forward to (I am also looking forward to getting outside, but it's getting a little cloudy again).

Tomorrow and Thursday I am out of the office at a seminar. I am planning on packing a lunch for the breaks so that I won't run over to the nearest fast food place.

Thanks for listening/reading.

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

Just a quick update...

Seminar was very good (day 1 better than 2 though). First day, I just went to Costco on lunch and munched on the fruit I had brought. Today I did the same, but went to Target. Ok, a bag of M&Ms were calling my name (do you see a pattern here?), but I ate less than half.

Of course I was really hungry when I got home...So I just had dinner.

Tomorrow it's back to the office.

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

Almost time for the weekend (and a weigh in for Monday! I still hate weigh ins -- even when I do it myself).

Rainy today so I didn't walk this morning. I did, however, do some 5 lb weight lifting for a while before I went to work. Maybe 10 minutes. Something is better than nothing!

I think I need to get more stringent with myself. But it's hard to break that junk food habit that has developed over 30 years.

Feeling pretty good though...and that's a plus.

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

Ok, it's been way too long since I've written anything...maybe because I "fell of the wagon" and was afraid to post (not of you guys...of my own self esteem).

Need to come back here more and definitely need more encouragement.

This morning, I had a half a bagel and coffee and then some dried fruit as a snack. For lunch I'm having the other half of the bagel, some veggie stuff that I made (celery, onions, eggplant, tomato, pepper and some olives all cooked up together. It's recipe I modified...it does call for a little oil and some water, vinegar and 1 tsp of sugar. I have no idea how many points it should be, but it can't be much. I try to use as little of oil as possible and use about 1/2 the sugar recommended and I double the recipe so I can eat it for about a week for lunch) and a peach for a snack. I'm going to be at work for a LONG time today (I wouldn't have come in so early if I knew I would need to stay late -- but when do you ever know? I would have done the late thing tomorrow night, but I just got free tickets to our local minor league baseball game tomorrow night and it will make for a nice night out for DH and me).

I haven't gotten on the scale yet this week because I am afraid. I'm also bloated and just waiting for "the release".

Ok...support away guys.