DH wants to sell our puppy :( SOMEWHAT OF AN UPDATE PAGE 10

[CathrynRose]

You don't have to keep your pet for life. .

 

[foodlover_US]

I totally agree with above post

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I hope the kids don't become too much work.

 

[HGD24]

Maybe your DH could take the dog to puppy obedience classes to learn to work with the dog. Puppies are like babies - they don't come out just knowing how to do things and listen to commands. They need to be taught.

We had class every Saturday for 6 weeks. It cost $60 and it was well worth it. We rescued our dog and were afraid to be too stern with her since her former owner had abused her. Well, she took advantage of that and thought she was the boss since we weren't. The trainers worked with us to talk to her in a stern, not mean voice and to command her respect. It took on-going work at home for several months (and even some reminders now, 7 years later), but now, she is the most well behaved dog. We always get comments from people on how sweet and obedient she is.

 

[disneydave2003]

So glad you two are the minority. Much easier to bow to hubby than look for solutions and stand your ground. Besides- there ARE shelters for all the tossed out pets, right?

yes there are shelters.

i usually stay away from pet threads because i know how passionate people here on the DIS get about them. but what if the dh realized he just doesn't like pets. and yes, pets ARE different than kids, you can't compare them. THerefore, the comparison of what if after a baby was born he decided he didn't want him/her is ridiculous. maybe dh didn't realize all of the work that went into them, who knows?

how is finding a home where the dog is wanted bowing to the husband? a pet is a huge responsibility. sounds like the dog is just going to cause problems for the family so why drag it out anymore? if the kids aren't helping out and the dh doesn't have the time for the dog or the dog doesn't take to dh, why should they have to keep the dog rather than find a loving home? this isn't a case of just wussing out and giving in to the dh. find another home, bring the dog to a shelter or return it to where it was purchased.

You mentioned maybe $$ being a factor. OP, you mentioned that you had to save up for the dog and food and supplies I believe. maybe your dh didn't realize how expensive dogs are and realizes maybe you can't afford it and possibly feels guilty about it? maybe he was using the excuse of the dog being too much because he feels guilty about the monetary responsibility? we are we so quick to hang the dh here and accuse to op of just giving in to her dh?

 

[bunny]

I hope the kids don't become too much work.

You seriously believe a puppy and a baby are the same thing.

 

[JessicaR]

Her husband is not a whiny baby. Puppies are alot of work. I can completely understand how someone who is working full time and going to college does not want anymore on his plate. Maybe he didn't realize until he got the puppy how much work it was going to be. Things happen. He isn't throwing the puppy away. He wants to sell it to someone who could provide it a loving home.

You don't have to keep your pet for life. You do have to find it another good home if you decide you can't keep it. Pets are extremely expensive especially puppies. In today's economy I am surprised anyone is still buying these puppies.

I am hoping you decide to never have a pet/s.

 

[disneydave2003]

I hope the kids don't become too much work.

come on that's a little dramatic, don't ya think? you can't compare pets (animals) to kids (humans), you just can't. as a previous poster said, humans first, pets second.

 

[Youarehere]

yes there are shelters.

i usually stay away from pet threads because i know how passionate people here on the DIS get about them. but what if the dh realized he just doesn't like pets. and yes, pets ARE different than kids, you can't compare them. THerefore, the comparison of what if after a baby was born he decided he didn't want him/her is ridiculous. maybe dh didn't realize all of the work that went into them, who knows?

how is finding a home where the dog is wanted bowing to the husband? a pet is a huge responsibility. sounds like the dog is just going to cause problems for the family so why drag it out anymore? if the kids aren't helping out and the dh doesn't have the time for the dog or the dog doesn't take to dh, why should they have to keep the dog rather than find a loving home? this isn't a case of just wussing out and giving in to the dh. find another home, bring the dog to a shelter or return it to where it was purchased.

You mentioned maybe $$ being a factor. OP, you mentioned that you had to save up for the dog and food and supplies I believe. maybe your dh didn't realize how expensive dogs are and realizes maybe you can't afford it and possibly feels guilty about it? maybe he was using the excuse of the dog being too much because he feels guilty about the monetary responsibility? we are we so quick to hang the dh here and accuse to op of just giving in to her dh?

I didn't make that comparison because I am already aware of this stock response from the disposable pet camp. Pets are different in the fact that thet are easier than kids, not that they are disposable. They AGREED on the pet. She is in tears over it. She needs to stand her ground here. DH does not need to get all his whims catered to. Maybe next week he will decide he wants a horse.

 

[bunny]

I am hoping you decide to never have a pet/s.

I have a dog which I love and would do anything for, but he is last in our house. People first. If my husband didn't want him anymore or the kids were afraid of him etc, I would find him a good home. He is an animal. I would cry and move on. I find it insane that people give advice about treating the husband poorly and nobody blinks. It is okay to kick your husband to the curb but god forbid you decide to get rid of your pet.

 

[Youarehere]

I have a dog which I love and would do anything for, but he is last in our house. People first. If my husband didn't want him anymore or the kids were afraid of him etc, I would find him a good home. He is an animal. I would cry and move on. I find it insane that people give advice about treating the husband poorly and nobody blinks. It is okay to kick your husband to the curb but god forbid you decide to get rid of your pet.

I don't think asking the husband to act like an adult and take resposibility for his decisions is treating him poorly, but to each his own.

 

[Tuffcookie]

Dave, What about the OP's right to keep the dog that she wants and her DH agreed to before they even brought him home?

It already sounds like she is doing all the work involving the dog.

She should get rid of it because he is the man and what he says goes?

TC

 

[disneydave2003]

i don't know. a pet is a really big deal. if someone in the family, in this case a spouse, really doesn't want the animal then I think it has to go. i believe that "NO's" prevail. same would stand if the wife decided it wasn't working out but the dh wanted to keep it. pets really change the household, it's a big change that everyone needs to be on board for and help out with. I wouldn't feel right or comfortable leaving my pet at home with people who don't want it or won't spend time with it or take care of it, i just wouldn't. in this case, i think it is in the pets best interest for this family to find it a loving home where it is wanted by all. in the end, it's what is best for the pet.

 

[disneydave2003]

Dave, What about the OP's right to keep the dog that she wants and her DH agreed to before they even brought him home?

It already sounds like she is doing all the work involving the dog.

She should get rid of it because he is the man and what he says goes?

TC

NO. she shouldn't get rid of the dog because it's what he, the man as you put it says so. it has nothing to do with being submissive to the husband. as i stated earlier, a pet is a big deal, a big committment. if everyone in the family isn't on board with it then it is in the family's as well as the dog's best interest to find it a loving home.

years ago my family got a dog. that's when we found out my brother was highly allergic to dogs so we had to give it back. i was angry and sad that we couldn't have the dog but i eventually got over it. i even grew to like my brother again. point is, sometimes pets don't work out in families for many reasons. if the dog didn't work out for the wife, i would hold the same stance as I do in this situation and that is that the dog has to go.

 

[Sandy V.]

Pets are different in the fact that thet are easier than kids, not that they are disposable. They AGREED on the pet. She is in tears over it. She needs to stand her ground here. DH does not need to get all his whims catered to. Maybe next week he will decide he wants a horse.

Agree totally. They agreed on getting a pet. Sounds like the OP gladly handles most of the pet care burden already, and DH has decided that doggie has to go because HE can't put up with a small share of the responsibility. Not a good reason to get rid of an innocent animal.

 

[disneydave2003]

Dave, What about the OP's right to keep the dog that she wants and her DH agreed to before they even brought him home?

It already sounds like she is doing all the work involving the dog.

She should get rid of it because he is the man and what he says goes?

TC

wait, did i miss something? where did the dh say the dog is definitely going, end of story, what he says goes? i thought he said it wasn't working blah blah blah and that they'd talk about it more? maybe i did miss it. if i did, forgive me, i'm home sick today and in a fog. i'm thinking i should have stayed off the dis today.

 

[bunny]

Agree totally. They agreed on getting a pet. Sounds like the OP gladly handles most of the pet care burden already, and DH has decided that doggie has to go because HE can't put up with a small share of the responsibility. Not a good reason to get rid of an innocent animal.

I don't think he wants to kill it! He wants to sell it. As long as he is responsible in finding the pet a new home, he isn't hurting the animal. The dog is a puppy. At this point, he may not even remember the family in a few weeks. Also it is better for him to decide that now than to wait. Waiting will only make it harder.

Marriage is a give and take. The husband has obviously changed his mind. If the wife really wants to keep the pet, she might need to be 100% responsible for him. She may need to as I previously suggested take the dog to doggie daycare or crate it while she is at work.

 

[diznygirl]

Well I am always about keeping the peace and not causing waves so I'd say 90% of the time I give in about pretty much everything. About this issue I've decided it's gonna be in that 10%! I let him know that I was not selling MY dog, I love her and this is an issue that is very, very important to me.
He said "I don't know", and my reply was "NO! We will work through any weekend issues you may be having with her, come up with solutions, and we'll compromise on things if needed but I AM NOT SELLING HER!!".
He replied with "ok". So I'm not sure if that OK means ok for now so I'll leave him alone or ok, you win, we won't get rid of her.
Guess I'll find out but I am not backing down on this and if he does sell her without my blessing then yes, we have some major issues that are going to need to be addressed.
I am praying he sees how important this is to me and just sucks it up and deals with it...UGH, I feel sick to my stomach now.

Good for you - marriage is indeed a give and take - and your husband needs to start giving. You gave him every out. Stay strong.

 

[ohiomom28]

Tell him to deal with it..lol I want an English Bulldog sooo bad!

 

[Disney Doll]

Here's what I think.

I think an adult man or woman who is all on board with a family decision to get a dog, who then decides after a few weeks that they don't like it, has no say. Especially since there's a history of this particular adult "flaking out" about decisions once they are made.

I would "understand" his distress and I would work with him to minimize it.

But, a person with a past history of

"I've noticed through the years though that he does flake out on me on big issues...having children, buying a house...just things that are major, he'll get all gung-ho about it then at the last minute he seems to get cold feet and keeps going back & forth...its strange. I'd call him a floppy fish, lol
He always seems to come around on stuff but it always seems like a major ordeal. I never really realized it until this"

wouldn't see me getting rid of the dog. It might see me telling him to go talk to someone to figure out why he has issues with big decisions and responsibility though.