Depression & Anxiety is making me miss a lot

[cyb]

I have anxiety issues and it's keeping me from living my life. I'm tired of telling family and friends I don't want to do this or that because my anxiety attacks. They simply don't understand what it's like. I have a trip planned for November but I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep it as I'm afraid of having anxiety while at Disney. I need strength and motivation to get me through it, if I could only see into the future to know that everything will turn out ok and I'll survive 1 day at the Food & Wine and a night at the Beach Club. I have read other anxiety posts and some say maybe you avoid Disney for now if you're having these issues but I say why should I? This has been going on for about 5 years and I'm sick of it!!! I want to go and have fun just like everyone else!

 

[Maggie'sMom]

Not a short term suggestion, but I'd recommend you do research into neurofeedback treatment for anxiety. My DD has been doing neurofeedback for over a year for help with bipolar disorder, anxiety, and ADHD and we've seen remarkable improvement. Anxiety is one of the issues for which there has been considerable documentation on the benefits of neurofeedback training.

 

[aaarcher86]

People only make the suggestion to avoid Disney because sometimes no amount of wanting to go is going to make the trip work.

If you're anxiety keeps you from doing less crowded and stressful things at home, I would really consider evaluating your trip. Disney might not be the best test run for beating the anxiety.

There's a lot of things you can do to cope. You didn't mention of you're on medication but for a lot of people it is a godsend. Relaxing techniques, knowing your triggers, and knowing areas in the park that are quiet you can go to are all so helpful.

Good luck.

 

[bidnow5]

Sorry your going thru this is isn't fun and even less fun when family and friends don't understand. I'm going next week I am new to the anxiety stuff. I have most issues in close crowded places so I'm hoping I can get a DAS but not sure if it will help anyway. I'm still going and will do what I can. Go give it a try you don't know for sure if you don't try

 

[Krand12]

I need strength and motivation to get me through it, if I could only see into the future to know that everything will turn out ok and I'll survive 1 day at the Food & Wine and a night at the Beach Club.

...but I say why should I? This has been going on for about 5 years and I'm sick of it!!! I want to go and have fun just like everyone else!

I think your last two and a half sentences says it all. It sounds like you're ready!

I know everyone is different, but I also have/had anxiety issues. Every once in a while, I would even have a panic attack. They suck and yes, friends/family that had never experienced either truly don't understand what it's like. Then one day, I also decided that I wanted to experience more and I started doing things (going to crowded or unfamiliar places) that I would have previously avoided. It helps to have someone - anyone - have faith in you that you can do it. But even more so, it seems like you have faith in yourself and that's the most important! I am lucky enough to have my husband as my supportive safety net because I don't always have faith in myself, but I'm getting better. Now, I've gotten used to going places that I would have been worried about. Not that there aren't still some butterflies (or kangaroos) in my stomach before I go, but once I get there, I'm so glad that I made the effort. And I've also met some great people and had wonderful conversations because I went.

Like I said, everyone is different, but I think you've got a great shot at going and having a great time! And if it ever gets to feel too much, find a quiet spot to re-group. Each time you go back into the crowd, it may be easier for you (it has been for me), but that first try is usually the hardest and most terrifying. Once you get through it, hopefully the rest will be better.

Best wishes and I hope you do have the most wonderful time!

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

People only tell other people not to go to Disney when the person with issues insists that Disney must provide accommodations that are unreasonable. You aren't asking for anything unreasonable. You sound like you know it is up to YOU to have a good trip, and that ownership is what is going to give you the strength to be successful if you decide to go on your trip.

 

[cyb]

I think your last two and a half sentences says it all. It sounds like you're ready!

most important! I am lucky enough to have my husband as my supportive safety net because I don't always have faith in myself, but I'm getting better. Now, I've gotten used to going places that I would have been worried about.
Best wishes and I hope you do have the most wonderful time!

My husband is my safety net too, if he goes with me I'm fine but this my first attempt without him since the anxiety has affected me.

 

[cyb]

People only tell other people not to go to Disney when the person with issues insists that Disney must provide accommodations that are unreasonable. You aren't asking for anything unreasonable. You sound like you know it is up to YOU to have a good trip, and that ownership is what is going to give you the strength to be successful if you decide to go on your trip.

I know it's up to me to take control of my anxiety but my confidence level is low. Once I'm there it's too late to back out!

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

There are many good treatments for your problems. I don't understand why you haven't gotten professional help (you didn't mention doing this).

 

[YankeePrincess]

I also have anxiety. I went to Disney in August at the Fort Wilderness Campground. I don't know what happened but I had some of the worst anxiety/panic attacks I have ever had. It started off as just having general vacation anxiety. I wasn't eating anything so then my anxiety turned into me feeling weak and hungry. I tried to go to Typhoon Lagoon and I had to run to the first aid station and just sit outside of it because I thought I was going to die or pass out or something. It was a nightmare the whole week.

Then I came home....nothing at all happened to me and I realized I just wasted a whole week worrying over nothing. The horrible panic attacks I had never killed me or caused me any harm. I could have stopped them but I didn't. I hate that I ruined my whole week over them and I wish I could go back and do it over again.

I am going again in January and I will admit I am scared that I will have a panic attack while I am there again but the thing that keeps me sane is that I know I had all that anxiety and panic to the point I made myself physically sick, and nothing at all bad happened to me.

It is scary and people that don't understand just say "oh just stop worrying". Yeah ok! lol

If you have a panic attack, go with it, let it happen, just breathe. It will not kill you, it will not harm you. Take some time to try and find a quiet place to sit or "hide" and take deep breaths. You have the power and control to stop it. You will be ok even if it is hard to believe...and I know how hard it is to believe that. I wish you lots of happiness on your trip!


ETA: Do not avoid going to Disney. That will only make matters worse. You have to have that panic and go through with the thing that is making you nervous so you will see that it will be ok. Just take some baby steps. Go slowly through the park. Don't force yourself to do everything all at once.

 

[spacecanada]

I second lost*in*cyberspace's comment about seeking professional help for your anxiety and depression, if you haven't done so already. There are many coping methods, psychotherapies, and even medications that can make it easier to live with anxiety and depression, even overcome them in time.

I have an anxiety disorder that could cause some issues during my trip in November. My psychologist and I have been working on ways to overcome those anxieties so I can manage situations that I want to be in, despite my disordered brain thinking otherwise. I highly recommend you learn and develop some coping mechanisms before your trip, so you can remain in situations that cause anxiety, or build tolerance to them over time. This could greatly increase the amount of fun you have on holidays.

 

[Coonhound]

Our son (now 18) has been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder, stemming from abuse that happened several years ago (not by us). When he was 16, we decided to try a disney vacation. It was hard but worth it. We are planning to go again.

We did have a few problems and so I have some recommendations for you. One, if at all possible stay on site. I know it can cost more, but maybe actually shorten the trip in order to have the money to stay on site..the benefit to staying on site is enough to take a shorter trip..we were able to more easily go back and forth from the parks to hotel room and back again..that made it easy if he needed a break...plus we had his daughter with us and she was two years old at the time so we usually needed to take a break mid-day for her to nap...but even if we had not had her with us, I think we would still have stayed on site and gone back to the hotel for breaks so he could decompress throughout the day.

My other suggestion is to go to the first aid station in the parks once in a while..one time when we went in there it was crowded but the other times it wasn't and we just told them he needed to sit down and take a break a few minutes..they offered to let him lie down which he wasn't comfortable enough to actually lie down but it was nice they offered.

The other thing I would do is bring noise canceling headphones if that would help you. Also those little squishy balls you can squeeze when you're stressed.

My son's therapist had a few things printed on small note cards and laminated for him to take out if he needed to read them, I won't say what but you might have similar things that would help you if you read them when you're overwhelmed. We hole punched them and put them on a key ring, and just clipped the key ring to the strap of his daughter's diaper bag so he could easily grab the little key ring and review the cards when needed.

Also don't put pressure on yourself, there were a couple times we just got out of lines we were waiting in because he was feeling overwhelmed with too many people close together in line and so we just left the line and just wandered around and ended up seeing a show instead (which was kind of a break, since during a show you're just sitting in the dark).

Oh and this is a BIG one. Before the trip we all met with his therapist as a family and the therapist said that anxiety and everything will be affecting him anyway, but if there is a lack of sleep, eating at odd times, etc that can just push you over the edge...I forget the term they used..but anyway..the main thing is
We made it a point to make sure he was in bed at the same time EVERY night, and we made sure that he was never hungry, thirsty, tired, etc because any uncomfortable feelings ON TOP of the PTSD was just going to make it harder to cope.

I won't lie and say it was easy but we left it up to him with no pressure and since he wanted to make a go of it, we tried it, and I'm glad we did. The memories were great and even though he could be stressed he did kind of let loose on the rides and laugh and have fun. It was great to see him and our granddaughter laughing and having a great time on rides.

 

[cyb]

There are many good treatments for your problems. I don't understand why you haven't gotten professional help (you didn't mention doing this).

I have not had any professional help, the only thing I have done is my doctor gave me a script for Xanax, I asked him if I should talk to a therapist and he said "is it that bad?" which made me feel stupid and embarrassed, I have low self esteem and it doesn't take much to set me off and make me want to retreat into "hiding" for lack of a better word.

 

[cyb]

I also have anxiety. I went to Disney in August at the Fort Wilderness Campground. I don't know what happened but I had some of the worst anxiety/panic attacks I have ever had. It started off as just having general vacation anxiety. I wasn't eating anything so then my anxiety turned into me feeling weak and hungry. I tried to go to Typhoon Lagoon and I had to run to the first aid station and just sit outside of it because I thought I was going to die or pass out or something. It was a nightmare the whole week.

Then I came home....nothing at all happened to me and I realized I just wasted a whole week worrying over nothing. The horrible panic attacks I had never killed me or caused me any harm. I could have stopped them but I didn't. I hate that I ruined my whole week over them and I wish I could go back and do it over again.

I am going again in January and I will admit I am scared that I will have a panic attack while I am there again but the thing that keeps me sane is that I know I had all that anxiety and panic to the point I made myself physically sick, and nothing at all bad happened to me.

It is scary and people that don't understand just say "oh just stop worrying". Yeah ok! lol

If you have a panic attack, go with it, let it happen, just breathe. It will not kill you, it will not harm you. Take some time to try and find a quiet place to sit or "hide" and take deep breaths. You have the power and control to stop it. You will be ok even if it is hard to believe...and I know how hard it is to believe that. I wish you lots of happiness on your trip!


ETA: Do not avoid going to Disney. That will only make matters worse. You have to have that panic and go through with the thing that is making you nervous so you will see that it will be ok. Just take some baby steps. Go slowly through the park. Don't force yourself to do everything all at once.

I can so relate to what you said about your trip, I spent so much time worrying on my original trip without my husband when my panic started that that trip became a blur and not fun at all, since then my husband has gone to Disney with me although he's not a Disney fan and I just feel bad asking him to go when I know he doesn't enjoy it which really puts a damper on the fun I should be able to have on my own with other Disney fans in my family.

 

[EvangelineG]

I have not had any professional help, the only thing I have done is my doctor gave me a script for Xanax, I asked him if I should talk to a therapist and he said "is it that bad?" which made me feel stupid and embarrassed, I have low self esteem and it doesn't take much to set me off and make me want to retreat into "hiding" for lack of a better word.

I am really surprised that your Dr. would give you a scrip for Xanax without first recommending counselling. Therapy should be the frontline treatment for anxiety/depression with meds as a support to that therapy as needed. I completely understand that it doesn't take much to discourage someone who is depressed from seeking treatment, and I am so sorry that your doctor was so careless and unhelpful. Please seriously consider getting yourself some help from a therapist. It helps so much to talk to someone.

I have struggled with anxiety all my life. My sons have anxiety/OCD and are on the autism spectrum, and my husband struggles with complex PTSD and depression. So yeah...we have a lot of issues to deal with when we go to WDW, and I can commiserate with what you are going through.

 

[cyb]

I am really surprised that your Dr. would give you a scrip for Xanax without first recommending counselling. Therapy should be the frontline treatment for anxiety/depression with meds as a support to that therapy as needed. I completely understand that it doesn't take much to discourage someone who is depressed from seeking treatment, and I am so sorry that your doctor was so careless and unhelpful. Please seriously consider getting yourself some help from a therapist. It helps so much to talk to someone.

I have struggled with anxiety all my life. My sons have anxiety/OCD and are on the autism spectrum, and my husband struggles with complex PTSD and depression. So yeah...we have a lot of issues to deal with when we go to WDW, and I can commiserate with what you are going through.

It sounds strange I know but crying seems to help too. I think it was irresponsible for my doctor to pass judgement that way, the more I think of it the madder I get, he obviously has never dealt with it himself!

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

I have not had any professional help, the only thing I have done is my doctor gave me a script for Xanax, I asked him if I should talk to a therapist and he said "is it that bad?" which made me feel stupid and embarrassed, I have low self esteem and it doesn't take much to set me off and make me want to retreat into "hiding" for lack of a better word.

Please do not be embarrassed! I agree that it was irresponsible for your doctor to give you a Xanax prescription instead of referring you to a mental health professional. Ask for a referral today. There is no reason to delay getting help. Good luck.

 

[Donald - my hero]

I've been hiding on the side-lines for this conversation not wanting to overwhelm you with extra information (that can set me off) but a few things have popped into my mind today, you can just ignore them if you wish

I don't know if this is an option or not for you but if you have even a passing connection to a clergy member of any type that can be a great place to get an unbiased "ear" This won't take the place of profession help but at times i have found the ability to even chat with someone that i can trust to keep my conversations private can be a relief. My hubby is my rock & strength but there are times i don't want to unload on him.

It has been well over a year since i have had to deal with more than a few fleeting moments of anxiety (huge accomplishment for me) but this morning i woke to a full blown panic attack. Reason the beast reared it's head? We leave 1 week from today and i am just feeling overwhelmed with the things that need to be done. I have calmed down since i was able to tell my husband that my emotions are running very high & I'm feeling raw. I told him that I'm very likely to lose my temper over small things and just knowing that he is aware has taken away that fear of embarrassing myself.

We have also discussed that i will need to leave certain situation with little warning and just being aware ahead of time gives me a sense of peace. Our list of "must-dos" is VERY SHORT so i won't feel stressed if we do nothing but those things. I have done lots of research to have me prepared for what i can expect to encounter -- and I've have been more times than i can count but every time is new since I'm approaching with a new set of current stressors. We picked a resort that "fits" my level of activity -- low key!

Gee, i sure talked a lot here! One last nugget i want to give you (and this is what my therapist told me yesterday afternoon) Give yourself permission to experience your emotions as they arise without guilt. Don't feel the need to explain the "whys" behind your feelings to anyone YOURSELF INCLUDED, just acknowledge them for what they are. Simply saying "i feel nervous right now" takes some of the power that emotion has over you.

Do your best to enjoy every moment of your holiday, from the planning, to the actual event through to the memories you create. BUT most importantly, be easy on yourself and don't expect more than you are able to give

 

[cyb]

I don't know if I should explain things to my mom & sister, they are the people I may be going with. My Mom is one of my triggers, I hate to say it but it's true. I've tried explaining to my mom before and she says she has anxiety too but it seems she can turn it off and on and mine I have no control over. So would that be a true panic attack?

 

[ArwenMarie]

There is a great book IMO on panic
Surviving Panic Disorder by Stuart Shipko
If you read anything on treating panic, that would be the one I would rec.
It was a game changer for me
Even a lifesaver in a sense
You can order it on Amazon I think

You can get better from this! It's highly treatable.
Hang in there and keep fighting until you get a solution that works for you