just a suggestion for those with family members who could benefit from or currently use a service like 'lifeline'-if your family member has a hospital in close proximity that would be their 'go-to' in a medical emergency check with administration there to see if there are any similar local services that tie in with them. the hospital my mom would receive treatment at was connected with a non national service that immediatly connected the response team to any alarm w/someone at the hospital who could quickly provide up to date info on my mom's health issues, meds and such. b/c her treating doctors were also associated with that hospital and there were shared medical records they would have access to information pertaining to any emergency calls so while mom might tell her doctor she was fine and steady on her feet, never experienced any confusion-the response team notes on having to help her up from falls, her confused demeanor...were all documented for the doctor to be aware of.
Debt Dumpers 2023
- Thread starter pblack
- Start date
pblack
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2017
It's apparently been awhile since I've posted an actual update.
End of October update:
2023 Financial Goals:
2023 Personal Goals:
Now that the holidays are essentially here I need to start thinking about that. I'd really love not to do presents with my in-laws because it's just kind of pointless to me. But I don't think they'll be onboard with that. I think for my parents this year I'm going to stock up their freezer/pantry because they're struggling to afford food and their everyday bills at the moment. I've been helping them with things here and there over the past 6 months or so, but this will probably hit my budget more than everything else has. At least at one time.
Hope everyone has a happy Halloween (if you celebrate)! I'll be taking off work a little early in order to get set up for tonight. We put our fire pit in our driveway and a TV out front and have movies playing all night. I made 172 treat bags and I've run out the last few years so we'll see how tonight goes. I prefer to do treat bags over just passing out candy. They contain a variety of the following: mini rice Krispy treats, Halloween pretzels, Halloween fruit snacks, chocolate, non-chocolate candy, stickers, and a fun mini eraser.
End of October update:
2023 Financial Goals:
Pay off our Highlander loan (Roughly $19500 at the start of the year)- DONE!- Increase my contributions to my "other" savings accounts (pets/gifts/CC fees). - Hoping to throw some more money at this now that the above is done. Also need to focus on paying off our December Disneyland trip and our weekend trip to Mexico in January.
2023 Personal Goals:
- Travel more - Our cruise was amazing and I fell in love with the color of the water in the Cayman Islands and Jamaica. As I mentioned above we have a Disneyland trip planned in December (long weekend, 2.5 park days) and then a long weekend in Cabo that I booked about a month ago. This trip was totally an impulse when Southwest had a huge flight sale. No other travel planned at the moment, but we do need to figure out what we want to do for our 10 year wedding anniversary in August.
- Live life and be happy - So far so good. I've had a pretty busy October with our vacation, then I was back at work for just over a week before leaving for a conference down in SoCal. I'm not at all sure where the month of October went and how today is already Halloween.
Now that the holidays are essentially here I need to start thinking about that. I'd really love not to do presents with my in-laws because it's just kind of pointless to me. But I don't think they'll be onboard with that. I think for my parents this year I'm going to stock up their freezer/pantry because they're struggling to afford food and their everyday bills at the moment. I've been helping them with things here and there over the past 6 months or so, but this will probably hit my budget more than everything else has. At least at one time.
Hope everyone has a happy Halloween (if you celebrate)! I'll be taking off work a little early in order to get set up for tonight. We put our fire pit in our driveway and a TV out front and have movies playing all night. I made 172 treat bags and I've run out the last few years so we'll see how tonight goes. I prefer to do treat bags over just passing out candy. They contain a variety of the following: mini rice Krispy treats, Halloween pretzels, Halloween fruit snacks, chocolate, non-chocolate candy, stickers, and a fun mini eraser.
Attachments
just a heads up for those holiday shopping-looks like amazon's holiday return policy is FINALLY in effect-stuff can be returned until 1/31/24.
p.s. barbie movie on blu ray/digital is going for $12.99
i know it's on a couple of letters to santa in our house (along with dial of destiny and oppenheimer).
p.s. barbie movie on blu ray/digital is going for $12.99
i know it's on a couple of letters to santa in our house (along with dial of destiny and oppenheimer).walmart has such a low threshhold for free shipping it's not worth it to me. also-so many of their items are now grossly overpriced for choosing the shipping option over buying in store i use them less frequently than i did in the past.
Tygerlilly
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2009
We get ours free thru hubby's work, but I'd pay $50/year for the amount I get my groceries delivered it's worth it.
Tygerlilly
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2009
Somehow the stars aligned and my mom got released this morning and I got the dogs from the kennel. I'm rushing trying to get everything done before we leave in the morning since most of today has been spent dealing with all things involving my mom.
This vacation is so needed.
This vacation is so needed.
pblack
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2017
Have a great time!!!
Gr8t Fan
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2009
Congratulations!
goofytinkerbell
Tinkerbell
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2009
I'm so sorry, that must be exhausting. Rant, do whatever you need to do to cope.My dad's pendant is with Lifefone. They are pretty good. There's a box that you plug in kind of centrally located and you can silence the alarm on the box if you don't need help or you're just testing it, which they do recommend once per month. It has automatic fall detection. He remembers that part but forgets that there's a button on it too. It can go in the shower but he is so stubborn and insists on taking it off for showers. I keep telling him if he is showering when my niece isn't there, he absolutely needs to wear in the shower. He could fall and break the glass door/surround. I have to remind him that he spent 7 hours on his garage floor in winter. Ugh.
Lifefone warned me that we'll have false alarms and they were right. When my niece is there Mon-Fri, she quick hits the cancel button on the box. Last Sunday night/Mon morning, it alarmed at 3:00am. So they go down the list of phone numbers calling everyone and of course I can't say for sure by phone that he's fine so whenever they don't get a response, they send paramedics. They are given the passcode to open my dad's garage door to enter. Several times he has been startled awake by paramedics checking on him. I'd say it happens around once every 2 months.
I felt so guilty but after returning home 1am Friday am from San Diego, I could not adjust to Eastern Time all weekend. Sunday night at midnight I was finally getting to sleep and had to get up at 5am. When my niece isn't there to silence the alarm, and it's the wee hours of the morning, I have driven over there (2.5 miles) in my nightgown to see what happened. By the time I get there, paramedics usually have already left and he tells me I just missed them. With the alarm going off at 3am, I was so freaking tired I just couldn't. I figured either it's a false alarm or the paramedics will take him to the hospital and they will contact me. I felt so guilty but I just could not go all day at work on 3 hrs sleep. As it was I got around 4 hrs sleep. Wouldn't you know, I was on call (in case evening tech calls out) and sure enough she called out sick so I had to work 3 hours extra. That gets me home around 8pm. What a crappy day.
The dementia makes him say a lot of inappropriate things, sometimes very rude and hurtful. Sometimes he thinks he's making a joke but really it's just something crazy, off the wall, and it just wears you down to be around him more than a day. The one time I had him bring a cane with him to come to our house for dinner, he walked in and used the cane to poke dh in the butt and said, "Hurry up with making dinner!"
Anyway, thanks for letting me rant. With all this talk about caring for elderly parents, and after enjoying our 14 nt cruise through the Panama Canal this month, thanks to my niece being willing to stay 2 additional weekends when they would normally go home and have a break from him, I couldn't help but feel so fortunate to have her taking care of him. (So many of my patients tell me how they haven't had a vacation in years because of taking care of elderly parents.) I did pay her a good chunk for her added time there.
So today I booked a 4 nt Disney cruise for my niece & her family for Jan 31. It was a great deal. I have SW points for their flights. Her husband & kids all put up with him so they're all deserving of it.
Last weekend, his alarm went off at 8pm. I drove over there and paramedics were still there. It was a man and a woman. As I walked them to the front door, the man said, "I remember her!" but didn't point to anyone.
At first, I didn't know who he was referring to. Me? His collegue? No, he saw a portrait of my mom on the living room wall not far from the door and remembered her from 4.5 years ago. He took her to the hospital twice before she passed away. I was so shocked I just stood there at the door & cried my eyes out. I miss her so much.
My parents are still around and we haven't had issues with them and dementia yet (thankfully) but we've had a couple close calls with Dad health-wise. It's scary and it's stressful...
goofytinkerbell
Tinkerbell
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2009
Congrats! That must feel great! That's my dream for someday
goofytinkerbell
Tinkerbell
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2009
Another Friday, another update.
Financially:
1. Keep the credit cards empty - DONE! Still using them and paying them off before they start earning interest.
-I managed to pay down the big bills I had to put on the card, but it was more than expected so I didn't quite have enough to cover it. I got paid today, so I'll pay the rest off, but that limits my other plans...
2. Figure out a way to put some sort of extra on the mortgage, even if it's the $100 minimum - DONE!
3. Get some things I NEED to have (rims/tires for the car, items that need replacing at home, etc)
-Still haven't installed the one thing I purchased last. I was hoping to do it this weekend, but we'll see
4. Get a savings plan going for the big stuff that comes due in one lump sum payment (insurance, property tax)
-No progress this week, and maybe not for the whole winter. I need to pay a fair bit for some #3 stuff, and need to determine how much that'll cost me before throwing money into savings. Christmas is coming, along with a couple bigger things for the house that I need to deal with
General stuff:
1. Make a will - DONE!
2. Continue to clear out the crap. I need to go through my clothes and that sort of thing. I got a pile done in 2022, but it really wasn't enough.
-2 items gone this week.
-No luck with the things I've posted online. I'm hoping to find some time this weekend to put up more ads.
3. Look for a new job. The reason nothing has been getting done is because I'm burned out from my existing job and I'm being severely underpaid for the work I do.
-Checked the email notifications and job sites daily. Nothing this week to apply to.
4. Get my passport.-DONE!
5. Knock some half-finished projects off the list. Everything from making a scarf to some jewelry. Lots of stuff has been started, but not finished. Enough already!
-Worked on one, but didn't finish it
6. Get into better shape. I'd like to say 'lose weight', but I'd be happy to be able to run up my own steps without getting winded. The weight loss may or may not come, but it's not as important.
-4 workouts
7. Spend more time with loved ones. I don't see friends/family much. I guess I really need to do #3 in order to facilitate this one.
-Nothing this week
8. Organize my stuff!
Sorted through some papers, old receipts, etc, and set aside more things to sell.
Financially:
1. Keep the credit cards empty - DONE! Still using them and paying them off before they start earning interest.
-I managed to pay down the big bills I had to put on the card, but it was more than expected so I didn't quite have enough to cover it. I got paid today, so I'll pay the rest off, but that limits my other plans...
2. Figure out a way to put some sort of extra on the mortgage, even if it's the $100 minimum - DONE!
3. Get some things I NEED to have (rims/tires for the car, items that need replacing at home, etc)
-Still haven't installed the one thing I purchased last. I was hoping to do it this weekend, but we'll see
4. Get a savings plan going for the big stuff that comes due in one lump sum payment (insurance, property tax)
-No progress this week, and maybe not for the whole winter. I need to pay a fair bit for some #3 stuff, and need to determine how much that'll cost me before throwing money into savings. Christmas is coming, along with a couple bigger things for the house that I need to deal with
General stuff:
1. Make a will - DONE!
2. Continue to clear out the crap. I need to go through my clothes and that sort of thing. I got a pile done in 2022, but it really wasn't enough.
-2 items gone this week.
-No luck with the things I've posted online. I'm hoping to find some time this weekend to put up more ads.
3. Look for a new job. The reason nothing has been getting done is because I'm burned out from my existing job and I'm being severely underpaid for the work I do.
-Checked the email notifications and job sites daily. Nothing this week to apply to.
4. Get my passport.-DONE!
5. Knock some half-finished projects off the list. Everything from making a scarf to some jewelry. Lots of stuff has been started, but not finished. Enough already!
-Worked on one, but didn't finish it
6. Get into better shape. I'd like to say 'lose weight', but I'd be happy to be able to run up my own steps without getting winded. The weight loss may or may not come, but it's not as important.
-4 workouts
7. Spend more time with loved ones. I don't see friends/family much. I guess I really need to do #3 in order to facilitate this one.
-Nothing this week
8. Organize my stuff!
Sorted through some papers, old receipts, etc, and set aside more things to sell.
so where is she being released to?
pblack
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2017
Small "win" for me just now. My DH gets paid every 2 weeks so today was a payday for him. Thanks to having paid off our Highlander loan a few months ago and the way his checks fall between now and the end of the year I'll be able to pay off our Disneyland trip next month without having to pull from my savings. 
I quadruple checked to make sure that I wasn't forgetting to pay for anything because i'm not used to having this much "extra" money. 
I quadruple checked to make sure that I wasn't forgetting to pay for anything because i'm not used to having this much "extra" money. 
DawnM
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2005
So sorry.My dad's pendant is with Lifefone. They are pretty good. There's a box that you plug in kind of centrally located and you can silence the alarm on the box if you don't need help or you're just testing it, which they do recommend once per month. It has automatic fall detection. He remembers that part but forgets that there's a button on it too. It can go in the shower but he is so stubborn and insists on taking it off for showers. I keep telling him if he is showering when my niece isn't there, he absolutely needs to wear in the shower. He could fall and break the glass door/surround. I have to remind him that he spent 7 hours on his garage floor in winter. Ugh.
Lifefone warned me that we'll have false alarms and they were right. When my niece is there Mon-Fri, she quick hits the cancel button on the box. Last Sunday night/Mon morning, it alarmed at 3:00am. So they go down the list of phone numbers calling everyone and of course I can't say for sure by phone that he's fine so whenever they don't get a response, they send paramedics. They are given the passcode to open my dad's garage door to enter. Several times he has been startled awake by paramedics checking on him. I'd say it happens around once every 2 months.
I felt so guilty but after returning home 1am Friday am from San Diego, I could not adjust to Eastern Time all weekend. Sunday night at midnight I was finally getting to sleep and had to get up at 5am. When my niece isn't there to silence the alarm, and it's the wee hours of the morning, I have driven over there (2.5 miles) in my nightgown to see what happened. By the time I get there, paramedics usually have already left and he tells me I just missed them. With the alarm going off at 3am, I was so freaking tired I just couldn't. I figured either it's a false alarm or the paramedics will take him to the hospital and they will contact me. I felt so guilty but I just could not go all day at work on 3 hrs sleep. As it was I got around 4 hrs sleep. Wouldn't you know, I was on call (in case evening tech calls out) and sure enough she called out sick so I had to work 3 hours extra. That gets me home around 8pm. What a crappy day.
The dementia makes him say a lot of inappropriate things, sometimes very rude and hurtful. Sometimes he thinks he's making a joke but really it's just something crazy, off the wall, and it just wears you down to be around him more than a day. The one time I had him bring a cane with him to come to our house for dinner, he walked in and used the cane to poke dh in the butt and said, "Hurry up with making dinner!"
Anyway, thanks for letting me rant. With all this talk about caring for elderly parents, and after enjoying our 14 nt cruise through the Panama Canal this month, thanks to my niece being willing to stay 2 additional weekends when they would normally go home and have a break from him, I couldn't help but feel so fortunate to have her taking care of him. (So many of my patients tell me how they haven't had a vacation in years because of taking care of elderly parents.) I did pay her a good chunk for her added time there.
So today I booked a 4 nt Disney cruise for my niece & her family for Jan 31. It was a great deal. I have SW points for their flights. Her husband & kids all put up with him so they're all deserving of it.
Last weekend, his alarm went off at 8pm. I drove over there and paramedics were still there. It was a man and a woman. As I walked them to the front door, the man said, "I remember her!" but didn't point to anyone.
At first, I didn't know who he was referring to. Me? His collegue? No, he saw a portrait of my mom on the living room wall not far from the door and remembered her from 4.5 years ago. He took her to the hospital twice before she passed away. I was so shocked I just stood there at the door & cried my eyes out. I miss her so much.
My mom died before my dad and my dad got dementia as well. It didn't make him say mean things but it did make his filter go off and he told me a couple of family secrets I don't think I was meant to know.
Mom passed in Dec. of '19 and dad passed Dec. of '22.
ruadisneyfan2
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- May 20, 2006
I'm so sorry for your loss. That is rough being only 3 years later.
He has no filter whatsoever. He says things that I know my mother would be mortified to know he is telling me.
He isn't always mean but most often just unappreciative of family members helping him.
Tygerlilly
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2009
She went home and has several home health people coming by during the week to continue pt.
good for her! that may work out well in the long run for both her and you-unbiased observation of how well she can manage in her home both independantly and w/care providers.
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