Debt Dumpers 2023

[pblack]

End of June update:

2023 Financial Goals:

• Pay off our Highlander loan (Roughly $19500 at the start of the year) - This is currently down to ~$3000. I don't think I'll have the funds to pay too much extra towards this this month, but my normal $500 payment should bring me down to ~$2500. This will be paid off by the end of the year.
• Increase my contributions to my "other" savings accounts (pets/gifts/CC fees). - Not focusing on this until I get the last little bit of our highlander paid off.

2023 Personal Goals:

• Travel more - aiming for a trip 4th of July weekend (undecided on where), going out to Texas at least once, a cruise or a trip out of the country - Upcoming we have: Texas (long weekend), concert in the bay area at the beginning of August where we'll be staying the night, concert beginning of September in the bay area where we will be staying the night, and then New Orleans/cruise in October. Also trying to plan some camping trips in the next few months. I feel like I'm a little late for camping reservations for the summer though.
• Finish replacing the fence that needs to be replaced - This has now been finished and it looks great.
• Live life and be happy - I've not been working out like I want too. Just too tired and don't have the motivation to try and fit it in. I'm also getting pretty fed up with the politics at my job, so I may actually try looking for a new job. We'll see though. Otherwise just doing my best with this one.
• *New* Look into how much a breast reduction will cost - I'm toying with the idea of a breast reduction. My insurance has said they won't cover it unless I lose a bunch of weight since they still go by the outdated BMI. I've found a place I want to check out, just need to actually make an appointment to go.

Not a ton of updates on my end. My area will see it's first 100+ degree days this weekend and luckily we'll miss the worst of it. But apparently Texas isn't going to be much better weather wise. We're heading to the Rangers vs. Astros game on Saturday and I'm looking forward to that and checking out a different stadium other than our home stadium. I hope everyone has a great 4th of July weekend! (Yes I know it's not until Tuesday, but I imagine many people will be taking off Monday, including myself.)

 

[pigletto]

totally off topic but i have to ask of anyone on this thread who lives in or is familiar with canadian real estate-

is there no requirement when purchasing a home there for inspections or permit researches?????

background-i've been binge watching 'love it or list it too' and yes, i know that be it in the u.s or canada there's always something going on with the homes that are chosen for these types of shows BUT i CANNOT get over how many of the canadian homes on this show, be they even newer construction-have such apparant structural and mechanical defects that a traditional home buyers inspection would have uncovered, OR have entire portions, improvements, repairs....supposedly predating the current owners-that are entirely unpermitted.

i get it that with the recent u.s. housing market allot of people bought/buy here 'as is' but unless they have a b---load of cash to pay in full they would find no u.s. lender to issue a mortgage on houses with these issues.

someone please explain to me.

Inspection isn’t a requirement, but in my experience most people get one and make their offer contingent on a satisfactory inspection.
That being said, Vancouver / Toronto markets are another beast altogether. It’s very very expensive and very competitive. So when the market is hot people waive them to get their offer accepted.

“Love it or List it” was filmed in those locations.

 

[goofytinkerbell]

Inspection isn’t a requirement, but in my experience most people get one and make their offer contingent on a satisfactory inspection.
That being said, Vancouver / Toronto markets are another beast altogether. It’s very very expensive and very competitive. So when the market is hot people waive them to get their offer accepted.

“Love it or List it” was filmed in those locations.

The east coast is actually pretty close to the same boat. There's a very high cost of living compared to income, and most jobs pay well below market value. The argument used to be that our cost of living was lower, but that's simply not the case now. It's also impossible to find a doctor (mine just dropped me because her caseload was too high), and I often see people posting things for sale saying they're going back out west because of living conditions.

 

[goofytinkerbell]

Friday update:

Financially:
1. Keep the credit cards empty - DONE! Still using them and paying them off before they start earning interest.
2. Figure out a way to put some sort of extra on the mortgage, even if it's the $100 minimum - DONE!
3. Get some things I NEED to have (rims/tires for the car, items that need replacing at home, etc)
-Didn't buy anything, and tried to figure out the issue I was having. Looks like it's not going to get any better, so I'll just have to make due. As usual, the previous owners patched things in the worst way possible, and I'll have a bigger problem to clean up. I can't afford to do that now, so I've done what I can to fix it as "correctly" as I can to get me through.
4. Get a savings plan going for the big stuff that comes due in one lump sum payment (insurance, property tax)
-No extra progress this week. I'm on a razor thin budget at the moment.

General stuff:
1. Make a will - DONE!
2. Continue to clear out the crap. I need to go through my clothes and that sort of thing. I got a pile done in 2022, but it really wasn't enough.
-3 items gone this week
-No bites on the posted items for sale. Have been way too busy to post anything else
3. Look for a new job. The reason nothing has been getting done is because I'm burned out from my existing job and I'm being severely underpaid for the work I do.
-Checked the email notifications and jobs sites daily.
-Applied to one position
4. Get my passport.-DONE!
5. Knock some half-finished projects off the list. Everything from making a scarf to some jewelry. Lots of stuff has been started, but not finished. Enough already!
-Nothing this week. Priorities have shifted, so this one has been pushed down the list.
6. Get into better shape. I'd like to say 'lose weight', but I'd be happy to be able to run up my own steps without getting winded. The weight loss may or may not come, but it's not as important.
-Did 2 workouts, and an hour of yard work. Yard work doesn't sound like much, but sweat was rolling off me, so I'm counting it.
7. Spend more time with loved ones. I don't see friends/family much. I guess I really need to do #3 in order to facilitate this one.
-Nothing this week. The increased days in the office are taking a toll.
8. Organize my stuff!
-Nothing. Work was flat out and I was exhausted.

 

[disney-inspired]

Hi everyone!
I had some missteps and have accrued a decent chunk of credit card debt (in addition to my DVC purchases ). I've worked out a plan on paper to get rid of all the credit card debt by October. As far as I've come with managing my finances, I still let emotional currents affect my spending sometimes but at least I am aware of it now. It's very frustrating and I'm kicking myself in the butt but thankfully I've stopped and taken stock.

 

[bababear_50]

Hi everyone!
I had some missteps and have accrued a decent chunk of credit card debt (in addition to my DVC purchases ). I've worked out a plan on paper to get rid of all the credit card debt by October. As far as I've come with managing my finances, I still let emotional currents affect my spending sometimes but at least I am aware of it now. It's very frustrating and I'm kicking myself in the butt but thankfully I've stopped and taken stock.

Just keeping swimming Hon
Having an awareness and understanding of your finances is 9/10 of the equation.

Hugs Mel

 

[CinderEmma94]

End of June Check in/Update (a few days late)!

1. Pay off the birth **done
2. Pay off two of our 3 credit cards (approx $13,000). **First card is paid off! We currently owe $8,060.
2.5 Pay off third credit card (approx $14,000). **Currently owe $11,050.
3. Start husband’s 403B (he works for a non-profit) and contribute to match (5% of our income). **Set up and ready to go, money starts going into it next paycheck.
4. Grow emergency savings to $13,000 by the end of 2023. **5,679/13,000 -- restarting progress toward this goal in July.

Personal goals:
1. Continue making moving my body a priority (4/7 days a week) **Going well!! It helps that I have several runDisney races that I am training for.
2. Read 12 books this year **23/12 done. I read a TON this month. 16 books in the month of June alone. I met/passed this goal, but I am going to continue to keep track because I am really curious to see how many books I will end up reading this year. Reading has always been a major part of my life but like a lot of moms it seems like a huge chunk of my personality and the things that were important to me went away when my kids were born. Don't get me wrong I adore being a mom and it is my top priority, but I am sick of feeling like I don't know who I am as a person anymore. So, my personal goals this year are a reflection of that journey back to me, the person who is a person as well as a mom.

 

[imbatman]

Going to dip back in for accountability here. @disney-inspired this is where I return when I’ve fallen off the wagon. It’s only happened once but I know the peeps here encourage me so much! My demise last year, to the tune of $10k, was finally paid off last month.

End of June:

CC debt - I’m paying off the charges each week. This, I’ve found, works best for me. DH and I want to drop to one card to maximize points. Going to definitely close the Chase Disney card, as the fees don’t offset the benefits to us.

Car - I’m doubling the payment per month starting in August. This month we helped both kiddos with car repairs instead.

Mortgage- We paid an extra $2500 in June. I wanted to pay towards the car but it was my DH’s inheritance, so he made that call. We did keep some of the money aside for a possible trip to Europe in November. I’ll use a collateral credit card from our bank when we go to keep costs in check.

Student loan - How I wish this were not here, but we keep l plugging away at it.

In general, I’ve done okay. My flower business is turning a small profit and I love doing the work. I am looking for a new job, which is stressful but necessary. I need to start listing some stuff for sale or schedule a yard sale at my brother’s house (we live too far away from town) to pare down stuff.

 

[MerissaAndMomLoveDis]

Well, my 2023 is starting off with unplanned renovations. I made my list of 2023 goals on 1/13/23, and planned to post them here over that weekend. You all may recall that in March 2020, I purchased my deceased grandmother’s little house out in the country on family land, but I am still two and a half years away from retirement so I am holding on the my “city” house for work purposes for now. On 1/14/23 I went to my little “country“ house for the long weekend and was hit with a horrific smell upon entering the house. The water heater had burst and flooded the laundry room and kitchen. I spent the weekend sucking up water with the shop vac and pulling out carpet (hated having carpet in the laundry room and kitchen anyway, so not sad to see those go), and figuring out a plan. Previous posters are right, when you start replacing one thing, it seems to snowball! Some of the floor got warped and will need to have the under flooring replaced as well. I’ve picked out some flooring this week but haven’t pulled the trigger just yet—a new water heater and new floor in the laundry room and kitchen are a must, but I am trying to refigure the budget to go ahead and replace all the flooring in the house, and I am considering painting all the walls, then that makes me want to pull and replace the baseboards if we are painting and getting new floors.

Here are my 2023 goals:

(1) Pay off credit cards to zero every month.
(2) Cash flow daughter‘s college expenses (no student loans!).
(3) Max HSA contribution.
(4) One big vacation and 2-3 small vacations.
(5) Finish organizing all passwords and important documents into one place, so that if I die, my daughter has a very easy roadmap to my affairs.
(6) Personal health enhancement. I committed to weight loss in 2022 and lost over 100 lbs in 2022, which has resulted in changes to body and skin. In 2023, I want to
(a) figure out the physical strength and endurance fitness plan that works best for me,
(b) experiment with skin care routines until I find the right balance, and
(c) consider corrective dental work. Had first appt to take impressions.
(7) Reconnect with friends that I haven’t seen since COVID began. Dinner or coffee/tea or long catchup phone call with a friend two times per month. January— Reconnected with four friends.
(8) Country House project goals:
(a) New flooring
(b) New baseboards
(c) Porch project—power wash and re-stain porch, paint some miscellaneous places under the eaves where boards were replaced when new roof was put on.
(9) City house project goals:
(a) Clean out and remodel home office.
(b) Front yard project—remove current sidewalk to driveway, replace with stepping stones, remove ring and old plants around tree and enlarge plant area, replace grass.
(c) Declutter garage and fix garage door.
(10) Make a Shutterfly photo album of our December 2022 Europe vacation to Rhine River Christmas markets, Amsterdam, Paris and Disneyland Paris.
(11) I had planned to put an extra $1500 toward mortgage each month and beef up my emergency fund in 2023, but I am scaling that back to $600.00 per month extra on the mortgage until I see how much all these house projects cost.
(12) Earn employer’s $300 yearly wellness bonus.

Hello everyone! I have been following along but have not posted since January. This year I did a lot of the cleanup and prep work myself at the ”county” house. Feel like I am bleeding money everywhere, but fortunately have been able to cash flow and not accumulate additional debt. While I was in CA for my daughter’s college graduation two weeks ago, on the ride from the airport my daughter’s car started overheating. I guessed it needed a new thermostat, because we had already had to replace that once before. I ended up ended up being right, along with three hoses that needed replacing going into and out of that area. It was incredibly difficult to source the parts for a 10 year old Dodge Dart! So the car went in to the shop and I had to rent a car. I ended up helping source some of the parts— I get the gold star for finding one and only one of the needed thermostats anywhere in the Bay Area and I drove to pick it up! The car is not worth much and I was just hoping it would get her through one more year of grad school (she needs a car this summer to get to her summer job), so in the long run it was better to fix the car than let it go for scrap and have a new car payment, but ouch, it was more pricy than I expected. I am sure some of you have had that internal debate when the car is not worth much and you think you know what is wrong but hate to spend the money on a “fix” only to find out afterward that does not really fix it! Most of my spare time in 2023 has been spent on fixing the “country house” after water damage. After the laundry room/kitchen flood, I had a second water leak in the small bathroom that went out to the hallway later in January and I ended up pulling out all the flooring in the entire house. There were SOOO many carpet nails that I painstaking pulled out of the subflooring to give it a flat surface for the new plank flooring. Some subfloor had warped and had to be replaced. Went ahead and pulled out the vanity cabinet and sink in the small bath because the standing water had made the participle board expand and look bad, plus it was easier to get into the wall the replace some plumbing. Happily the flooring is finally done after I had to tell the first flooring crew to not come back. The second flooring crew are in the house today finishing up baseboard work. I went ahead and painted the walls while the base boards were off. So we have all new flooring throughout the house, replaced some plumbing and insulation, new baseboard or quarter rounds where applicable, new wall paint that looks better with the gray toned flooring, I painted the wall grates to look fresh and new, new bathroom vanity with beautiful matte black fixtures, and a new hot water heater.

Here are updates through June on my 2023 goals:

(1) Pay off credit cards to zero every month.
(2) Cash flow daughter‘s college expenses (no student loans!).
(3) Max HSA contribution.
(4) One big vacation and 2-3 small vacations. I went to the Women‘s College Basketball Regional Tournament in Seattle from Thursday to Tuesday. It was so much fun. Also, did some touristy things in Seattle like the Space Needle, the Chihuly Gardens and Glass (I could go here over and over—love it!), Pike Market (found some really lovely leather bound journals for my daughter and her friends for college graduation presents), First Starbucks, Skagit Valley daffodil and tulip fields, and met some of my daughter’s college friends as they played in an Ultimate frisbee tournament at University of Washington. I went to the Women’s College Basketball Final Four in Dallas—omg I loved it so much! Went to CA for 6 days for my daughter’s college graduation activities and then helped her move. The first part of the visit was all fun and festivities, the second half not so much fun . I have a week long trip to mountain of Colorado coming up the first week of August—will be nice to escape some the extreme heat we are having here in Texas.
(5) Finish organizing all passwords and important documents into one place, so that if I die, my daughter has a very easy roadmap to my affairs. I work on this here and there as I come across things, but I am by no means finished.
(6) Personal health enhancement. I committed to weight loss in 2022 and lost over 100 lbs in 2022, which has resulted in changes to body and skin. In 2023, I want to
(a) figure out the physical strength and endurance fitness plan that works best for me, I have not done what I had hoped as far as coming up with a fitness plan, but pulling up floors and baseboards and carpet nails and painting has surely got my arms looking much more defined lol.
(b) experiment with skin care routines until I find the right balance, and No progress.
(c) consider corrective dental work. Had first appt to take impressions. Decided to not go forward at this time. Estimated cost is $40,000, with none covered by insurance. I decided I’d rather be more consistent with wearing my night guard and retire when I planned rather than spend that kid of money.
(7) Reconnect with friends that I haven’t seen since COVID began. Dinner or coffee/tea or long catchup phone call with a friend two times per month. January— Reconnected with four friends. I’ve been doing really great on this one. Have lost track of how many, but have had lunch or brunch with a number of people I hadn’t seen in ages. It has been so lovely to reconnect!
(8) Country House project goals:
(a) New flooring
(b) New baseboards Almost done so I will go ahead and check this one off.
(c) Porch project—power wash and re-stain porch, paint some miscellaneous places under the eaves where boards were replaced when new roof was put on.
(9) City house project goals: No time to devote to any of these yet since all my spare time has gone to the country house renovations.
(a) Clean out and remodel home office.
(b) Front yard project—remove current sidewalk to driveway, replace with stepping stones, remove ring and old plants around tree and enlarge plant area, replace grass.
(c) Declutter garage and fix garage door.
(10) Make a Shutterfly photo album of our December 2022 Europe vacation to Rhine River Christmas markets, Amsterdam, Paris and Disneyland Paris. No progress.
(11) I had planned to put an extra $1500 toward mortgage each month and beef up my emergency fund in 2023, but I am scaling that back to $600.00 per month extra on the mortgage until I see how much all these house projects cost. I’ve been able to maintain $600 extra while cash flowing all the house renovations.

(12) Earn employer’s $300 yearly wellness bonus. I‘ve gotten 225 of the 300 points needed.

 

[jackers]

Haven't done a formal check-in in a while.

2023 Financial Goals

• Car Payment – Pay off Cherokee (ideally by May, but timeline is contingent upon some assumptions I have made regarding tax refund and our annual bonus – at a minimum, I will be able to pay the car off this year). DONE! The extra payments I had been throwing at the car will now be focused on the mortgage.
• Mortgage: Reduce balance by 15%. Currently down 3% and on track to exceed this goal. I think I am going to revise it to a 20% reduction goal.
• Savings: Increase savings balance by at least 10% Current YTD growth is 14% - it would actually be much higher, but my son is going through a divorce and I am helping him with the wide range of expenses that come along with that.
• 401K: Max out contributions. On Track based on current contributions.
• Reduce year over year spending in discretionary budget by using a cash budget (includes things like Gifts, Clothing, Entertainment, Dining Out, etc). This has been going really well for me this year – half-way through and I have cut my expenses by over 46% compared to this time last year. It’s a big part of what has allowed me to not only pay off my car and continue to contribute to savings, but also still help out my son.

2023 Personal Goals

• Get a will drawn up (sigh - this has been a goal for 4 years running. Our youngest son turns 18 this year - so we will try and do this after his birthday) Not started.
• Vacation – DS17 is graduating this year and I am really hoping we can take him on a trip this summer before he starts “real life” – nothing planned just yet. DH and I did a long weekend in Gatlinburg in May. My sisters and I would like to do some sort of long weekend as well, but nothing planned as of yet. Not sure if a family trip will happen or not with DS(now 18) and his work schedule.
• Get healthier – make better food choices and exercise. I yo-yo with this so much. I’ll have a couple good weeks, a couple bad weeks, and the cycles continue. Need another restart here in July.

Overall, things are going okay. May and June was chaotic with birthdays, graduation, graduation party (which I came under budget for) and 2 work trips. July should slow down a bit, but then more work trips planned for August and September.

DS18 isn't going to college this fall, but we are allowing him one last summer to just work his part time job, but there is the expectation that he will find full time work this fall. I feel so naggy continually reminding him of this, but I feel like it's necessary. He is not a "take initiative" kind of person, so I feel like it is going to be a struggle to get him into full adulthood.

 

[goofytinkerbell]

• Get a will drawn up (sigh - this has been a goal for 4 years running. Our youngest son turns 18 this year - so we will try and do this after his birthday) Not started.

You may want to look into a DIY will. Where I live, you just have to do up the document, sign it and have 2 witnesses sign it to be legal. You can pay for kits, or you can find plain language ones online for free. It's definitely worth looking into the rules where you live.

 

[goofytinkerbell]

This is 2 weeks worth of updates for me, because life got in the way, and once I waited too long I figured I might as well combine them.

Financially:
1. Keep the credit cards empty - DONE! Still using them and paying them off before they start earning interest.
2. Figure out a way to put some sort of extra on the mortgage, even if it's the $100 minimum - DONE!
-I've been looking at interest rates and am concerned about what this will look like at renewal time. Last month was a 3 pay month, so I saved enough to put an extra payment on. That comes out today. I can only do it on regular payment dates, and it has to be between $100 and the total regular payment. So not much, but I'm feeling panicked and this makes me feel like I'm doing something.
3. Get some things I NEED to have (rims/tires for the car, items that need replacing at home, etc)
-Didn't buy anything, but if nothing goes off the rails this weekend I'm going to try to do some research for the next thing.
4. Get a savings plan going for the big stuff that comes due in one lump sum payment (insurance, property tax)
-Put a little extra in the account. Not much, and I don't expect it will stay long, but it's better than nothing.

General stuff:
1. Make a will - DONE!
2. Continue to clear out the crap. I need to go through my clothes and that sort of thing. I got a pile done in 2022, but it really wasn't enough.
-12 items gone over 2 weeks
-Sold the one item I had posted. Now I need to get my behind in gear and post more. It's SO difficult dealing with people, so I've been putting it off
3. Look for a new job. The reason nothing has been getting done is because I'm burned out from my existing job and I'm being severely underpaid for the work I do.
-Checked the email notifications and jobs sites daily. Didn't see anything worth looking twice at.
4. Get my passport.-DONE!
5. Knock some half-finished projects off the list. Everything from making a scarf to some jewelry. Lots of stuff has been started, but not finished. Enough already!
-Nothing again. Priorities have shifted, so this one has been pushed down the list.
6. Get into better shape. I'd like to say 'lose weight', but I'd be happy to be able to run up my own steps without getting winded. The weight loss may or may not come, but it's not as important.
-Did 12 workouts. TWELVE! This has to be a record. Also I had to get 10,000 a day for 10 days in order to get the Mickey and Minnie badge from Garmin. I got that as well.
7. Spend more time with loved ones. I don't see friends/family much. I guess I really need to do #3 in order to facilitate this one.
-I spent the first weekend with... we'll call them extended family. I was supposed to be helping with a move, but that didn't work out.
-I spent the second weekend with family.
-AND I met up with friends once
8. Organize my stuff!
-Cleaned out my purse (seems to constantly need it), went through a huge pile of receipts, a pile of recipe books and magazines.
-Not related to "stuff" but I also spent an entire day on the phone dealing with government stuff that needed to be done. It felt like a waste of a vacation day, but good progress was made.

 

[slightly_obsessed]

Checking in. Lots has been going on but I haven't made much headway on these particular goals.

1. Emergency fund - no change

2. Debt Focus -Student Loan #2 $4098.39 $4016.91 - still just making minimum payment.

3. Vacation - Have just over $800 put away towards the next adventure. We might do some weekend trips and plan to go to Utah in November, but I haven't figured out what we will need for that vacation yet.

4. Additional $5000 to either my IRA or our non retirement investment account before the end of the year. This is in addition to what we already invest retirement wise. No change, I expect this to happen closer to December.

5. Food Budget/Planning (decrease wasted food and money) - Have not cared about this one bit. Summer vacation starts on Thursday for us so this is a summer project. Turns out, I forgot I was hoping to do this. I did restart WW though and that has been going extremely well. No idea if this has helped the food budget but I am certainly eating out less!

6. Finish Trust - On hold, as our attorney has been off for a few weeks and won't come back until August.


Hope everyone is doing well!

 

[Tygerlilly]

My stress level is through the roof right now dealing with my mother. My dad passed in November. She STILL hasn't done anything with any of the death benefit paperwork. I went down to have a come to Jesus meeting with her and she finally gave me the paperwork to handle it. She had cut off notices for 2 utilities and a repossession threat on her vehicle. I managed to get all the cut off notices dealt with, but unfortunately, was not able to get to the vehicle in time and they came and got it yesterday. So now I get to try and figure out how to get it back, if she can even get it back. Everything is a mess right now.

 

[pblack]

My stress level is through the roof right now dealing with my mother. My dad passed in November. She STILL hasn't done anything with any of the death benefit paperwork. I went down to have a come to Jesus meeting with her and she finally gave me the paperwork to handle it. She had cut off notices for 2 utilities and a repossession threat on her vehicle. I managed to get all the cut off notices dealt with, but unfortunately, was not able to get to the vehicle in time and they came and got it yesterday. So now I get to try and figure out how to get it back, if she can even get it back. Everything is a mess right now.

Sending hugs and margaritas

 

[barkley]

My stress level is through the roof right now dealing with my mother. My dad passed in November. She STILL hasn't done anything with any of the death benefit paperwork. I went down to have a come to Jesus meeting with her and she finally gave me the paperwork to handle it. She had cut off notices for 2 utilities and a repossession threat on her vehicle. I managed to get all the cut off notices dealt with, but unfortunately, was not able to get to the vehicle in time and they came and got it yesterday. So now I get to try and figure out how to get it back, if she can even get it back. Everything is a mess right now.

is it a matter of grief creating an inability for her to handle this OR did your late father handle all the financials? whatever the case-it's good that she's willing to hand over the handling to you. i don't envy you doing this but it's easier to get things set up now where you will have access to monitoring and handling it. i kind of wish one of our family members had done this with us vs. having to deal with everything when she passed. they lived out of state and when we went to close down their apartment we learned that some bills had gone unpaid and services shut down/a storage rental about to go up for auction. so much harder to deal with vs. making sure it had been timely paid (CAR INSURANCE-dead person can't have it but you have to have it to transfer title if there's no co-owner or TOD on the title so paying it means the coverage continues...).

best of luck to you.

 

[Tygerlilly]

is it a matter of grief creating an inability for her to handle this OR did your late father handle all the financials? whatever the case-it's good that she's willing to hand over the handling to you. i don't envy you doing this but it's easier to get things set up now where you will have access to monitoring and handling it. i kind of wish one of our family members had done this with us vs. having to deal with everything when she passed. they lived out of state and when we went to close down their apartment we learned that some bills had gone unpaid and services shut down/a storage rental about to go up for auction. so much harder to deal with vs. making sure it had been timely paid (CAR INSURANCE-dead person can't have it but you have to have it to transfer title if there's no co-owner or TOD on the title so paying it means the coverage continues...).

best of luck to you.

She just doesn't want to deal with anything. I asked why her mortgage didn't auto draft like normal in June. She said she didn't know and I asked her to go down to the bank and find out (her bank is who holds her mortgage). She never did it. All she had to do for life insurance was fill out one paper and email it to them.

I love her, she's my mom, but I basically had to tell her she was going to be carless and homeless if she didnt either let me take over her bills or get up and start dealing with things. I'm just sad I was too late on the car.

 

[jen7233]

My stress level is through the roof right now dealing with my mother. My dad passed in November. She STILL hasn't done anything with any of the death benefit paperwork. I went down to have a come to Jesus meeting with her and she finally gave me the paperwork to handle it. She had cut off notices for 2 utilities and a repossession threat on her vehicle. I managed to get all the cut off notices dealt with, but unfortunately, was not able to get to the vehicle in time and they came and got it yesterday. So now I get to try and figure out how to get it back, if she can even get it back. Everything is a mess right now.

Sorry about this stress.

 

[barkley]

She just doesn't want to deal with anything. I asked why her mortgage didn't auto draft like normal in June. She said she didn't know and I asked her to go down to the bank and find out (her bank is who holds her mortgage). She never did it. All she had to do for life insurance was fill out one paper and email it to them.

I love her, she's my mom, but I basically had to tell her she was going to be carless and homeless if she didnt either let me take over her bills or get up and start dealing with things. I'm just sad I was too late on the car.

yup. both my mom and mil were in kind of a mental haze about dealing with some issues for a long time after their husbands passed. with my mom it was a learning opportunity for me b/c i was only 19 at the time, living with her and she was fortunate to be very close to one of my dad's sisters who had been widowed about 15 years earlier. my aunt had gone through it all and knew everything that needed to be addressed. she stayed with us for a couple of weeks and got everything done with dad's pension, social security, banks...and left copius handwritten notes on a large yellow legal pad. back then much of it had to be done in person (1981) but to some extent it was easier than now b/c both social security and pension administrators were pretty quick to get things done-now it can take months for social security to take action and both dh and i have gotten repeated notifications from the both of the different adminstrators of our pensions that due to staffing issues and record numbers of retirements any kind of applications can take a minimum of 6 months to get to the initial processing que.

 

[goofytinkerbell]

My stress level is through the roof right now dealing with my mother. My dad passed in November. She STILL hasn't done anything with any of the death benefit paperwork. I went down to have a come to Jesus meeting with her and she finally gave me the paperwork to handle it. She had cut off notices for 2 utilities and a repossession threat on her vehicle. I managed to get all the cut off notices dealt with, but unfortunately, was not able to get to the vehicle in time and they came and got it yesterday. So now I get to try and figure out how to get it back, if she can even get it back. Everything is a mess right now.

I'm so sorry,, and I completely understand how you feel. Thankfully my parents are both still with us, but they're terrible about dealing with anything. Dad had a heart attack last year, and it seems to be making them finally accept that they need some help, so I'm in a similar position. Not as dire, but still dealing with all their stuff. I recently found out that my parents didn't deal with THEIR parents affairs when they passed, so I need to start looking into that.

All I can suggest is to take a deep breath, remind yourself that you love her, and see if you can break it down into manageable chunks. Unfortunately, it looks like you can't take your time with it. I'm not sure what the rules are there, but maybe she'd be willing to give you power of attorney to deal with everything on her behalf?