Dear Lord, We pray for the Godless heathens in England.....

[Susiequsie60]

I laugh and shake my head at a lot of fund raising for wants that I see. Please pay my kids cheer fees, or our family trip to an acting workshop in LA, etc. etc. I have my own family's activities to pay for, none of which I ask others to donate to.

Exactly! And for all of the folks scolding that the OP shouldn't try to "see what's in the girl's heart" or question her motives - if the young lady REALLY wants to do mission work, how about finding a situation that doesn't cost $3,000!!! If you're in a position to spend that type of money to take this type of mission trip, more power to you. However, in this family's situation, I'm sure there is plenty of "God's work" that could be done for a lot less $$$$$. Don't ask others to fund your good deeds. Sort of takes away from it in my opinion.

 

[JanaDee]

OP, I've lately seen requests to fund kids' elite sports teams participation (from family a lot better off than I) and someone else's kid's private school tuition. Nah. I'll pass but thanks for thinking of me.

As someone that has a kid on an elite sports team, that is horrifying. DH and I thought long and hard about whether we (we we we!) were willing to invest the time and money it would take.

We didn't even consider asking anyone else to pay for it. I guess we're doing it all wrong! LOL

 

[lauradis]

Here op here's web site with christian and secular volunteer opp in every main city in us.

http://www.volunteermatch.org/

I'm sorry if I offended anyone. Its one of my peeve things churches do.

 

[sk!mom]

I happen to know missionaries who are stationed in England, you would be surprised at the level of need there. And as England is a more wealthy country wouldn't it be great to reach more of them, in turn creating more people with resources to go into the father more reaches of the earth. I am sure it would shock you to know that there are also lost people in the USA...........if you don't want to donate then don't, but please don't assume you know this young persons heart that is between them and their maker. I have also found being in a somewhat ministry field myself that when people are asked to help and they re act with anger or lashing out that is at times their reaction to the pulling of their heart to help but instead they act in a defensive manner. Good luck with your decision.

I think, to many of us, a mission trip would imply that you were taking your message to those either who had not heard it or were in need. England really doesn't fit any more than the US.

I've been solicited the past couple of years to contribute to "mission" trips by adults. In one case last Summer, once they were in Africa they were posting pics of their Safari and other activities. Eventually they shared pics of their work at an orphanage but really it seemed like a really cool vacay with some service thrown in. Using that model, if my family and I had spent a bit of time serving the homeless of Honolulu last Summer would it have been alright to solicit donations to fund our trip to Hawaii?

 

[LSmith]

That "woosh" you just heard was the point flying over your head. The point is that the OP's friend wants to go to England and is using a missionary trip as an excuse to do so. Her ruse is quite obvious to the OP, because England isn't a traditional destination for missionaries.

Whether or not the work of missionaries is effective was never up for debate.

Oh no, I get it. Entirely.

 

[luvsJack]

Exactly! And for all of the folks scolding that the OP shouldn't try to "see what's in the girl's heart" or question her motives - if the young lady REALLY wants to do mission work, how about finding a situation that doesn't cost $3,000!!! If you're in a position to spend that type of money to take this type of mission trip, more power to you. However, in this family's situation, I'm sure there is plenty of "God's work" that could be done for a lot less $$$$$. Don't ask others to fund your good deeds. Sort of takes away from it in my opinion.

Some churches do fund raisers so that as many youth as possible can go on these mission trips. They need as many as can and are willing to go. For many of these trips its not about money as much as it is warm bodies to help with physical labor. If the girl is going on this trip with a church, it may be one of several mission options or it may be the only option they have this year, depending on the church.

Not a whole lot different than school groups raising funds to go on trips. Perhaps the mom meant that she would be selling spaghetti dinners and candy bars to some of those she is friends with on FB.

 

[Susiequsie60]

I think, to many of us, a mission trip would imply that you were taking your message to those either who had not heard it or were in need. England really doesn't fit any more than the US.

I've been solicited the past couple of years to contribute to "mission" trips by adults. In one case last Summer, once they were in Africa they were posting pics of their Safari and other activities. Eventually they shared pics of their work at an orphanage but really it seemed like a really cool vacay with some service thrown in. Using that model, if my family and I had spent a bit of time serving the homeless of Honolulu last Summer would it have been alright to solicit donations to fund our trip to Hawaii?

I hear ya! I work with some folks who went on a 3 week trip to South America to work with orphans. The first week was the "work" and the next 2 were definitely vacation. They were holding fundraisers at work to help pay for the trip. I'm sorry. That's just wrong.

 

[EMom]

EMom - I totally, 100% get what you're saying. I think some people are reading it and thinking you're having a hard time with it mostly because it's a mission trip to England - and England isn't a location that most would think of for this kind of work.

I'm taking it for the entire big picture. There seems to be some history with this girl and her family. I'm a very liberal and quite generous person as far as helping those in need. This situation just doesn't seem to fit the bill. Is it really just a coincidence that the kid is obsessed with England and she happened to find a mission trip going there? Sorry - but it sounds a little self-serving to me. I read it like someone trying to get others to help fund a trip to England!

It probably didn't hurt that I speak "sarcasm" as a second language!!

;-)

Dear Susie,

I also speak Sarcasm fluently. You nailed it. The kid is OBSESSED with certain aspects of England....namely One Direction and Union Jacks, not the deep stuff. Her mother has been posting for months about her DD's love of England and dropping hints as to how she wishes she could pay for it a trip there, which given her history translates to, "Can someone fork over a few thousand so I don't have to listen to this kid moan, because it's not as if I am going to get a second job to pay for it?"

The church has mission trips to plenty of places planned. Some that this family could actually afford if they put their minds to it. But they aren't to ENGLAND!!!! If you knew the background, this has NOTHING to do with missionary work. It is about using the ruse of calling it mission work, when it is actually a way to get people to fund a trip to England. She has several kids and every nice trip they have even been on has been funded by someone else. I suspect that will continue to be the case.

Curiously, their fundraising goal is about $1000 over what the church states the cost of the trip actually is. So if the church website says the trip costs $2000, they are saying they need $3000. They do not mention that this is $1000 above the trip cost, but imply the trip costs the full amount. Curious, that.

I will say we have another set of relatives who fundraise about once a year. I always donate to them. The difference? That set of kids works their rear ends off and have since they were 10 years old or so. It's hard to explain without giving details, but one set busts their tails to make money by working and only asks for sponsorships on a very limited basis. I've rarely met such industrious kids. By 14, they were paying for their own trips to DC and other places, without even parental help. The Facebook set just asks for money and expects others to pay for their trips. To me, there is a world of difference.

 

[luvsJack]

I think, to many of us, a mission trip would imply that you were taking your message to those either who had not heard it or were in need. England really doesn't fit any more than the US.

I've been solicited the past couple of years to contribute to "mission" trips by adults. In one case last Summer, once they were in Africa they were posting pics of their Safari and other activities. Eventually they shared pics of their work at an orphanage but really it seemed like a really cool vacay with some service thrown in. Using that model, if my family and I had spent a bit of time serving the homeless of Honolulu last Summer would it have been alright to solicit donations to fund our trip to Hawaii?

There are many mission trips that do a great deal of good in the US. There are a great many people in need in any country. And many that do in fact need and want to hear the message brought to them.

 

[solstice621]

I laugh and shake my head at a lot of fund raising for wants that I see. Please pay my kids cheer fees, or our family trip to an acting workshop in LA, etc. etc. I have my own family's activities to pay for, none of which I ask others to donate to.

This thread is really eye opening. I have recently done fundraising for my daughter's dance team's trip, and I never once comsidered the possibility that people thought so negatively about this. I sold raffle tickets, pancake breakfast tickets, discount cards, things like that. I was never pushy but never thought I would be looked down upon because of it. Maybe I'm just naive, but I truly thought people who could and were willing to help, wanted to help. I'm sad that as a community we can't support one another without judgment. Especially when it comes to children and teens.

 

[Susiequsie60]

This thread is really eye opening. I have recently done fundraising for my daughter's dance team's trip, and I never once comsidered the possibility that people thought so negatively about this. I sold raffle tickets, pancake breakfast tickets, discount cards, things like that. I was never pushy but never thought I would be looked down upon because of it. Maybe I'm just naive, but I truly thought people who could and were willing to help, wanted to help. I'm sad that as a community we can't support one another without judgment. Especially when it comes to children and teens.

What you're describing above is definitely NOT what I'm complaining about. I'm always happy to support a fund-raiser of this type.

Regarding the OP and the "trip" - I think there's alot of back info going on that makes the OP believe (KNOW) that this kid is trying to raise money so she can go to England. The point is that it's not really about the "mission trip" at all. It's simply about other people paying for her trip.

I can't speak for others, but for myself, I do get annoyed when I see kids in my town (far from needy) standing outside the supermarket "canning" - you know, shaking a can and asking for donations to fund their elite travel "fill-in-the-blank" team so that they can fly to the Caribbean to participate in a tournament. If mom and dad want them to go to the tournament, fork over the dough!

And everything that you mentioned isn't simply asking for donations. It's fundraising where the person making the donation gets something in return. You're not asking for a handout.

I personally don't look down on anything that you described. Just sayin. . .

 

[luvsJack]

This thread is really eye opening. I have recently done fundraising for my daughter's dance team's trip, and I never once comsidered the possibility that people thought so negatively about this. I sold raffle tickets, pancake breakfast tickets, discount cards, things like that. I was never pushy but never thought I would be looked down upon because of it. Maybe I'm just naive, but I truly thought people who could and were willing to help, wanted to help. I'm sad that as a community we can't support one another without judgment. Especially when it comes to children and teens.

I doubt anyone that helped you with the fundraising felt the way some here do, don't worry about it.

We do the same thing. Headed to DC in March with the the hs choir. We sold candy bars, spaghetti plates, had several events, sold raffles tickets, etc. etc. etc. and every kid with the choir gets to go because of it. No way am I going to feel guilty about that. And am very thankful that I live in an area where everyone IS happy to help.

Same with church mission trips. People are glad to help and it makes it so as many as youth or adults as possible can go and help out or spread the word.

 

[EMom]

Exactly! And for all of the folks scolding that the OP shouldn't try to "see what's in the girl's heart" or question her motives - if the young lady REALLY wants to do mission work, how about finding a situation that doesn't cost $3,000!!! If you're in a position to spend that type of money to take this type of mission trip, more power to you. However, in this family's situation, I'm sure there is plenty of "God's work" that could be done for a lot less $$$$$. Don't ask others to fund your good deeds. Sort of takes away from it in my opinion.

I know what is in her heart. The members of One Direction and Prince Harry.

I promise you if the church canceled that trip to England and said we are instead going to Haiti or Africa, the need for this teen to spread God's word would fizzle fast.

I never cease to be amazed at how common it is to ask others to fund your WANTS these days. If DD wanted to go on such a trip....assuming I'd okay it.....I would never ask anyone else to fund it. Growing up, I belonged to a similar church and I went on a mission trip to the border when I was 18. I had no money and was supporting myself and my mother at the time. We were poor and ate a lot of ramen noodles. I had to work and do without a lot to afford even the cost of that basic trip. But I never asked anyone else to pay for it. We were not raised to do that.

The thing that bugs me about anyone asking others to pay their way is that it breaks the rule my parents taught me......Do not put other people in an awkward position, especially over money. If you ask someone to pay your kid's way on a trip, it assumes they have money to spare and nothing better to spend it on than YOUR KID. They either have to ignore the request, decline and hope you don't ask why they aren't contributing, or give even though they would prefer not to just to avoid an awkward situation. There is a reason we were taught to not ask others for money. If someone knows you are going on a mission or school trip, they will gift you with money if they feel the urge. Asking THEM puts THEM on the spot and that is wrong.

I'll pay a kid to mow my lawn or get in a car wash line any day, because the kids are working for their goal and I admire that. Simply asking for money is different.

 

[richmond282]

This thread is really eye opening. I have recently done fundraising for my daughter's dance team's trip, and I never once comsidered the possibility that people thought so negatively about this. I sold raffle tickets, pancake breakfast tickets, discount cards, things like that. I was never pushy but never thought I would be looked down upon because of it. Maybe I'm just naive, but I truly thought people who could and were willing to help, wanted to help. I'm sad that as a community we can't support one another without judgment. Especially when it comes to children and teens.

I could be wrong, but I don't think most posters are talking about these types of fundraising activities. I think people are saying others just send letters or whatever flat out asking for $ and call it a donation.

OP, your situation could describe my SIL & Niece except the location was Myrtle Beach. My niece supposedly needed $ for her mission trip to the beach. My DH & I weren't born yesterday, so we did some research. The church had already provided the full amount of funding for her trip (which she didn't bother to tell anyone she was asking for $ from.) When we questioned her about it, the $ was for her mom (SIL) to pay for gas & food to for the drive down to the beach.Niece couldn't ride down with all the other youth "for some reason."

Well, we ain't giving SIL any $, so DH offered to drive niece down to the beach himself, pay for the gas and meals on the way down. Problem solved right? Niece shouldn't need any money for travel now. Nope, SIL refused. She said she needed the $ since she herself was going to take her other 2 DDs and stay a few days at the beach (which was going to be paid for with other people's $) after she dropped off oldest niece because she "DESERVED IT." Of course, she didn't offer any of this information to any of the people they solicited $ from.

 

[RNMOM]

Is this a LDS mission or another church? LDS missionaries go everywhere and they actively spread the "word" to recruit members. My own experience is that they don't do so much helping the poor as trying to knock on doors. Again, this is my own experience and may not be completely accurate.

I know there are many missionaries who build homes and schools, teach languages and many more things to help the poor in many countries, including ours.

 

[mmackeymouse]

This thread is really eye opening. I have recently done fundraising for my daughter's dance team's trip, and I never once comsidered the possibility that people thought so negatively about this. I sold raffle tickets, pancake breakfast tickets, discount cards, things like that. I was never pushy but never thought I would be looked down upon because of it. Maybe I'm just naive, but I truly thought people who could and were willing to help, wanted to help. I'm sad that as a community we can't support one another without judgment. Especially when it comes to children and teens.

Solstice, I don't think that poster, and certainly not myself, were thinking that of people who do legitimate fundraising.

Trust me, as a Catholic school kid, fundraising becomes second nature, because there is ALWAYS fundraising going on. Pancake breakfasts and world's finest chocolate and discount cards....all of that I have no problems with.

I think FB requests or "sponsorship" requests....is a little grating on the nerves. Especially for things like beauty pageants, Broadway tickets, or a Disney trip. (Yup, it's happened)

If someone wants to earn money for a school trip or a Disney trip, I'd be happy to find work for them to do. But the whole, "Can I please have money for nothing?" thing kind of bugs me.

 

[EMom]

I guess the other thing that surprises me is that when I was a teen, I would have loved to go to England. I even had someone I could stay with. It would have never occurred to me to ask my parents for the airfare. I knew they could never afford it any more than a fistful of diamonds. It would have been asking for the moon and would only have made them feel bad, as they could not begin to afford it. So I dreamed of England, saved my money when I was an adult and went when we could afford it.

This teen's mother has more money than my family, but is in no position to come up with $3000 short of getting a second job. Yet her DD harasses her no end to send her to England. This is a trend I have noticed.

If we knew our parents could not afford it, we kept our mouths shut. But many teens today think nothing of asking/demanding things that anyone with a brain would realize their parents cannot afford. What gives?

ETA: They are not LDS. And yes, I am curious as to why they have exaggerated the amount needed by over $1000, but not clarified that point. It is beginning to smell like Myrtle Beach.

 

[Pixiedustaway]

Maybe her next trip should be to Rome, the Vatican specifically. I hear there's no faith there at all. ;-)

 

[sk!mom]

There are many mission trips that do a great deal of good in the US. There are a great many people in need in any country. And many that do in fact need and want to hear the message brought to them.

Point taken! Which is why if you can't pay for your own trip then minister to those in need in your own community.

A few years ago we sold a fridge on Craig's List. The couple that came to purchase it were Australian missionaries come to spread the word. This struck DH and I as so funny. Here we are living in the Bible belt in a town where you can't throw a rock without hitting a church and Australians are sending missionaries to us??

Honestly, I have paid for my kids to go on church sponsored mission trips. I looked at these as a way to increase their service opportunities and travel a bit with like minded people. I would never ask others to fund these trips.

 

[lauradis]

I guess the other thing that surprises me is that when I was a teen, I would have loved to go to England. I even had someone I could stay with. It would have never occurred to me to ask my parents for the airfare. I knew they could never afford it any more than a fistful of diamonds. It would have been asking for the moon and would only have made them feel bad, as they could not begin to afford it. So I dreamed of England, saved my money when I was an adult and went when we could afford it.

This teen's mother has more money than my family, but is in no position to come up with $3000 short of getting a second job. Yet her DD harasses her no end to send her to England. This is a trend I have noticed.

If we knew our parents could not afford it, we kept our mouths shut. But many teens today think nothing of asking/demanding things that anyone with a brain would realize their parents cannot afford. What gives?

ETA: They are not LDS. And yes, I am curious as to why they have exaggerated the amount needed by over $1000, but not clarified that point. It is beginning to smell like Myrtle Beach.

my mother would have shut my mouth for me. That's the difference.