Dealing with the issues that come along with dementia

[VWLLover]

Looking for some advice and thought I would ask here to get some practical advice from others who have dealt with issues I'm going through.

I'm caring for my elderly mother who has dementia. She's usually pretty good about getting to the bathroom during the day but at night she is completely incontinent. I have a plastic liner on her mattress, I put down a disposable pad, she wears a night time diaper and yet every morning the smell is unbearable. Whenever she has a wet diaper I take it out to the trash can immediately. I do her laundry every morning, I clean her bathroom every day, wash the floor with a bleach solution, etc. (mind you I do this all before I get her ready to take her to daycare and get myself to work). I have a good body wash that deals with the urine smell on her body for her to use in the shower every day that works very well. And yet I still feel my house smells like a nursing home. My kids are embarrassed to have their friends over.

Any advice possibly on products to use to deal with the smell? I try to keep her hydrated but it just doesn't help, and I try to limit her fluids after dinner.

Any advice is truly appreciated. I feel like I'm doing pretty well dealing with everything else but this one issue is really trying.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

First, :hug What you're doing is commendable.

It is a very difficult thing to deal with. Has a UTI been ruled out?

Try to give her plenty of fluids during the day, when she is continent, but start to limit them in late afternoon and evening, if you can.

Have you considered using a bedside commode during the night?

When she washes do you have a hand held sprayer for good reach with cleaning? Maybe try a gentle soap rather than body wash. (I like Dove.) And as you're doing, keep any soiled clothes or linens washed and trash out of the house.

I will give it some more thought and look around and see if I can find any products for you.

I understand where your kids are coming from, but if their friends are that shallow that they'd make fun of something like that, then they're probably not very good friends. Maybe this will help them all learn a little compassion for others. Seriously. I think it's a privilege to be able to help another human being like this in their time of need. Your kids will be the better for it. Help them understand that. (Speaking as someone whose 92 yr old mother lives with us, too.)

 

[hereyago]

Have you discussed this with her PCP to as Pea-N-Me mentioned about a UTI or perhaps getting her on Detrol or the like?

Are her sheets and plastic liner soiled as well?

Have you tried using white vinegar and water in place of the bleach? The smell of it will desipate.

Good luck to you

 

[VWLLover]

Have you discussed this with her PCP to as Pea-N-Me mentioned about a UTI or perhaps getting her on Detrol or the like?

Are her sheets and plastic liner soiled as well?

Have you tried using white vinegar and water in place of the bleach? The smell of it will desipate.

Good luck to you

I hadn't thought about a UTI, I will have her checked for that. Her sheets aren't usually wet, just occasionally. And I will try the vinegar and water, thanks!

First, :hug What you're doing is commendable.

It is a very difficult thing to deal with. Has a UTI been ruled out?

Try to give her plenty of fluids during the day, when she is continent, but start to limit them in late afternoon and evening, if you can.

Have you considered using a bedside commode during the night?

When she washes do you have a hand held sprayer for good reach with cleaning? Maybe try a gentle soap rather than body wash. (I like Dove.) And as you're doing, keep any soiled clothes or linens washed and trash out of the house.

I will give it some more thought and look around and see if I can find any products for you.

I understand where your kids are coming from, but if their friends are that shallow that they'd make fun of something like that, then they're probably not very good friends. Maybe this will help them all learn a little compassion for others. Seriously. I think it's a privilege to be able to help another human being like this in their time of need. Your kids will be the better for it. Help them understand that. (Speaking as someone whose 92 yr old mother lives with us, too.)

Thanks for the advice. The bedside commode is a good idea.

I don't think the kid's friends would ever say something, I think they're just a little oversensitive about it, as kids are. They're good about helping out where I need the help and I do think it's giving them an education in empathy.

Wishing you well in your care taking. It's good to talk to people in the same boat as it helps me remember I am not alone.

 

[Mirielle]

A thought on the bedside commode. Is your mom clear headed enough when waking from a dead sleep, AND steady enough on her feet to navigate a bedside commode? My mom did fine during the day with one, but crashed it to the floor one morning at 4 a.m. Broken pelvis in 2 places and urine soaked carpet! It was diapers round the clock from then on. And yes, UTI's can cause a really bad odor. Will often cause confusion and bizarre behavior in the elderly as well. As posters above suggested...get a urine sample to her PCP. Wishing you all things necessary in dealing with this. I've been at it 7 years now!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

A thought on the bedside commode. Is your mom clear headed enough when waking from a dead sleep, AND steady enough on her feet to navigate a bedside commode? My mom did fine during the day with one, but crashed it to the floor one morning at 4 a.m. Broken pelvis in 2 places and urine soaked carpet! It was diapers round the clock from then on. And yes, UTI's can cause a really bad odor. Will often cause confusion and bizarre behavior in the elderly as well. As posters above suggested...get a urine sample to her PCP. Wishing you all things necessary in dealing with this. I've been at it 7 years now!

My thought was that if she can use the bathroom during the day she might be able to use a commode at night. But I agree that it could be a safety issue. OP, if you get a commode, be sure it's a sturdy one, set up in the correct place, and even see if maybe there's a way to secure it to the wall so it doesn't tip. I would also put someting under it if you have carpet, but not something she'll trip on.

Even little things get so complicated in this situation! And I'm so sorry to hear about that happening to your Mom. Ugh.

I think I might even consider setting up a nighttime toileting schedule for a while. Yes, it would be a pain, but perhaps beats the alternative. If Mom goes to bed at 9 or 10pm, maybe go in there around 12 or 1am and help her onto the commode, then back into bed. Maybe then she'll be able to sleep the rest of the night until morning without having to go. There is certainly nothing wrong with using a diaper, either, but if she's continent, you could consider ways to try to preserve that as long as you can, which would hopefully help with urine odor.

 

[musika]

A thought on the bedside commode. Is your mom clear headed enough when waking from a dead sleep, AND steady enough on her feet to navigate a bedside commode? My mom did fine during the day with one, but crashed it to the floor one morning at 4 a.m. Broken pelvis in 2 places and urine soaked carpet! It was diapers round the clock from then on. And yes, UTI's can cause a really bad odor. Will often cause confusion and bizarre behavior in the elderly as well. As posters above suggested...get a urine sample to her PCP. Wishing you all things necessary in dealing with this. I've been at it 7 years now!

DH's grandmother had a UTI and ended up with a kidney infection. She didn't go to the hospital until she started hallucinating. They are very common among the elderly - I would definitely have your mom checked for that.

You are a strong, loving person to take care of your mom. Mine is just beginning the Alzheimer's journey and I dread the day we come to this point.

 

[GoofyBaseballMom26]

Purcell laundry detergent is the best I have found for odors in my Moms clothing. It's expensive but worth it! I second checking for a UTI. I never realized what havoc it plays with the elderly until I became my Mom's caregiver. They are very common.

 

[HeatherC]

My mom is also fighting dementia. What helps is waking her up during the night to use the bathroom. Not ideal for sure. Sorry you are going through this too. We need to find a cure for this horrible disease.

 

[NotUrsula]

Aside from the vinegar, you might also try putting several activated charcoal filters around areas that she frequents. I'd say that if the smell is that strong, there could be an organic reason for it, such as a UTI; otherwise the issue is probably that there is some leakage that you are missing somewhere. If the room that she spends most of her time in at night and in the early morning is carpeted, rip that out and replace it with a non-slip tile; incontinent adults almost always manage to soil the floor in some way, and it's essentially impossible to remove from carpet or hardwood. If there is heat on in the room overnight it will get worse, because the heat stays low and warms the floor when no one is circulating about.

You also probably will want to invest in some industrial odor killer; check your local directory for industrial soap dealers. What they will usually sell you is a concentrate that you can use to wash down surfaces to reduce odors.

 

[daemom]

Could she have possibly leaked on fabric that you're not aware of? Like a cushion or pillow? My DH grandmother leaked in her later years and her house smelled so bad--she was was either unaware or hoped that no one noticed.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Check out some of these products.

http://goldviolin.blair.com/t/healt...ence&rank=rank7&sc=N&store=15&x1=c.t1&x2=c.t2

 

[Wendy31]

What about an air purifier in the room?

DH's dad is bedridden, & his mom takes care of him w/ some help from home-health nurses. We purchased this one for them to put in the bedroom, & his mom really likes it.


https://www.amazon.com/GermGuardian-AC4825-Sanitizer-Allergens-Guardian/dp/B004VGIGVY/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1517958910&sr=8-3&keywords=air+filter&th=1

And, in the common areas of your home, maybe an essential oil diffuser?

 

[jdb in AZ]

My grandmother used to be a cook at a nursing home and the urine smell around the place was awful until she heard about giving each of the residents a daily serving of cranberry juice. It worked wonders.

 

[jdb in AZ]

Could she have possibly leaked on fabric that you're not aware of? Like a cushion or pillow? My DH grandmother leaked in her later years and her house smelled so bad--she was was either unaware or hoped that no one noticed.

Perhaps her sense of smell had faded over the years. When DMIL was quite elderly her freezer went out, and a turkey in there spoiled. The smell was so bad that when college-age DD went to clean it up, the smell was so bad her eyes watered. DMIL couldn't detect any odor, and didn't believe the turkey had spoiled.

 

[VWLLover]

Thank you all for your replies. I don't have time to respond to each one right now but you all have come up with some great suggestions. I will absolutely have her tested for a UTI, hopefully tomorrow. So many great ideas, the cranberry juice, the industrial odor killers, the air purifier (can't believe I didn't think of that one!!). Thank you all

 

[TLSnell1981]

I agree with previous posters who suggested having her checked for a UTI. Anytime the urine is dark and/or foul smelling...likely infection. Her diet could affect the odor also.

 

[Marchand63]

Dealing with same things here. We found doing a couple glasses of Cran Raspberry & also do a cranberry pill everyday. No UTI for 3 years.

Honestly the new heavier Febreeze works good.

We change sheets honestly almost daily. I found getting her up around 230am, it takes 10 minutes works wonders. I know it interrupts sleep but we alternate nights. Also we very rarely have same days off so works for us.

 

[Pooh2]

The love and care you give your mom is an inspiration!

 

[yoopermom]

I just wanted to add my kudos to you for taking on this difficult task. My DGM lived alone until the last month before her death at 103 when she went to a nursing home (with pneumonia). Unfortunately, the great grandkids strongest memory of her is the *smell* in her house which of course she didn't notice. She was very prim and proper, and would have been horrified to truly realize what was going on in this area. Her kids tried their best, but....

You've been given wonderful suggestions, and I hope they are a help to you. Know that the DIS community is rooting for you.

Terri