DD has Strep.. Need to vent!

[Michigan]

Wow, don't have much advice just if both the hospital and school contact CPS they should listen.

Can you get a court order that she is allowed to have a cell phone and can call you whenever she wants?

As I'm typing this I think if I were you I would maybe invest in a private investigator.

 

[OneLittleSpark]

Good luck, I hope everything works out well . I'm glad to hear that your daughter is on the mend, I hope she's fully recovered soon. I know it's hard sometimes, but do keep fighting. Talk to anyone who might be able to help, and keep talking to them until they do something. Someone in my family has been fighting for a couple of years to change the visiting rights her negligent ex had over her son and they've finally won (with greatly limited visiting rights as well as him having to pay all back maintenance fees, plus all legal fees).

Good luck and we're all rooting for you !

 

[welovedisneyx4]

I have a couple of thoughts on this.

I agree w/ letting the school and teachers know about the issue of your DD being sick and the father not treating it. Especially in this case w/ your DD having diabetes, maybe w/ the mandatory reporting, someone w/ the school could get a bit further w/ CPS.

Now w/ giving the shot in the butt, I have a little different take on it. Our DS is 6 and we have started giving his shots in his butt. He is on the skinny side and his arms were getting in really bad shape from having his shots there. The school nurse suggested we stop giving them in the arm all the time. We can use his thighs, but there is so little fat there. When we are at home, we give them in his butt and if he is at school or out in public, we do his arms or legs. He is not crazy about getting the shots in his butt, but it is in his best intrest. OP, I'm not really saying this to you, b/c you know what is best for your DD, I was just trying to clear up some of the confussion about places to give the shots. (And, OP, I am not taking up for ex-husband!!! What a pain he sounds like!!)

Good luck, I hope your DD gets completly better soon. We ended up at the ER when DS got sick for the first time after being diagnosed. The diabetes just adds so much more to the worry of a sick child.

 

[KPeveler]

I understand that if the rear end is the only place you can give a shot, then that is what has to happen, but if there are other places and he insists on doing it in her butt I would wonder why... it may be just to be stubborn or rude, but if it makes her uncomfortable and there are other options, then i would be concerned.

 

[JerJan]

I know it's a bit EXTREME, but....do what I did when I got tired of dealing with my DD's father. I moved out of the state! Problem solved!

 

[Selket]

I am REALLY sorry for going through this with your daughter. His care of her over the weekend was clearly negligent - especially with not checking the ketones. I just cannot imagine!

I would hope that you try posting over at the Children With Diabetes forums (do you already?) - and re-post that over there. There are other moms going through similar issues so they might be of some help. (My 5 yr old is type 1 - dx'd about 3 years ago now.) The forums are at http://forums.childrenwithdiabetes.com/index.php and I HIGHLY suggest you post it in the Parents of kids with Type 1 forum rather than the others. It will get the most response there. The disboards are great but ALL of us at the other forum have type kids or type 1 family members - for the most part. The people there often have good suggestions.

A good lawyer is my only suggestion - it sounds like you've tried many avenues.

 

[Talking Hands]

Actually the most common sites for injecting insulin are the arms, the stomach, the front and sides of the legs. The butt while it can be used is rarely used by most diabetics. There are plenty of sites to inject without making the child uncomfortable and still rotate injection sites regularly.

Diabetic 25 years on NPH and R

 

[makinorlando]

I don't have any advice or suggestions. I just want to send to you and your DD.

I find your ex's behavior to be very disturbing and can only imagine how stressful it must be for DD to visit - which I am sure in turn is not good for her blood sugar! The whole situation - cats and allergies & ringworm, not testing properly & the injection situation, and not allowing for outside contact or the ability to even if there would be an emergency all seem to be red flags that things are not right!

I wish you all the best and hope that you are able to get someone with some power to listen.

 

[Chloesmom]

I know it's a bit EXTREME, but....do what I did when I got tired of dealing with my DD's father. I moved out of the state! Problem solved!

I have indeed thought about doing this very thing.. but as my lawyer pointed out he could very well get her for a whole month during the summer which would kill me. He only gets her as a show to his mom who is paying his way in life.. she paid his lwyer fees, his child support when they threatened to toss him in jail.. he has to look like the model father so instead of just admitting he is uninterested he keeps playing this game.
We went to court to get a court order for her to carry her cell phone but he claimed it did not get service where he lives and the judge was getting very irritated over the whole phone call ordeal and just said to forget it.. Once again.. someone not understanding the importance of why she needs to have something.
My Dd is anything but skinny.. she has lots of padding to take shots on her arms and tummy and her legs. She rotates her shots very well even though she hates her legs. She hit a vessel once and got this big purple knot.. it was ugly. When I took her in for her strep they offered the shot in the butt for it and she lost her mind. She begged them not to do it there and to please let her have pills. It was an interesting look into how much she does not want a shot in her butt. Everyone prefers a certain spot.. hers is not her butt...
I talked to her school nurse some this afternoon on the phone and she said she was going to bring Chloe up tomorrow and talk to her. Of course she has to hear what happened from a person who was there.. not from me so she wants to hear it from Chloe's mouth. All of the school staff have really taken Chloe under their wing and they all just adore her so they are a good ally to have.
I appreciate all of the support.. sometimes as a mom you dont know if you are being realistic or over reacting. My family and friends here would love to see dad play in traffic so its hard to get a normal reaction from them when things happen.. its good to hear that I am not over reacting from unbiased people.
I am happy to report that Chloe is much much better and is going to school tomorrow. She declared that she was bored today and wants to go to school.

 

[aepecoraro]

I also dont have any advice but I will provide many . And I will keep you in my prayers! Glad to hear Chole is doing better and wants to go to school.

 

[Chloesmom]

I wanted to update everyone.. Cps was called today.. by him on me.. almost comical. HE complained that my home was filthy, chloe was underfed, and that I had a wild animal as a pet who had ringworm. First the wild animal is a domestic skunk who has only been outside to go on car rides. She is legal, licensed, and goes to the vet 2 times a year for check ups. In fact all of my pets ( 2 dogs and Yzma the skunk) just went to the vet for their boosters and check ups.. the same week I noticed the ringworm on Chloe and they got a super clean bill of health. Chloe is FAR from underfed. She is very solid and is actually on a " diet" from the dietician. She is not on a diet to lose wight but to make sure she is not getting too much fat which is a problem with diabetics if they are not careful. Anyway.. I showed the CPS worked all of my vet papers, my DR papers, the hospital papers I got from her strep.. I showed her my house.. and the above mentioned skunk who she loved. I told her what was happening and she was heading out there tomorrow to check their place out. He did not mention his tribe of cats to her or any of the details from last week. She was not not not happy. She did not knwo there had been a report on him last year from me so she was pulling that to look over. Here's crossing our fingers that SOMEONE will make him do better. I dont want him out of her life.. but I want him to do right.

 

[makinorlando]

I wanted to update everyone.. Cps was called today.. by him on me.. almost comical. HE complained that my home was filthy, chloe was underfed, and that I had a wild animal as a pet who had ringworm. First the wild animal is a domestic skunk who has only been outside to go on car rides. She is legal, licensed, and goes to the vet 2 times a year for check ups. In fact all of my pets ( 2 dogs and Yzma the skunk) just went to the vet for their boosters and check ups.. the same week I noticed the ringworm on Chloe and they got a super clean bill of health. Chloe is FAR from underfed. She is very solid and is actually on a " diet" from the dietician. She is not on a diet to lose wight but to make sure she is not getting too much fat which is a problem with diabetics if they are not careful. Anyway.. I showed the CPS worked all of my vet papers, my DR papers, the hospital papers I got from her strep.. I showed her my house.. and the above mentioned skunk who she loved. I told her what was happening and she was heading out there tomorrow to check their place out. He did not mention his tribe of cats to her or any of the details from last week. She was not not not happy. She did not knwo there had been a report on him last year from me so she was pulling that to look over. Here's crossing our fingers that SOMEONE will make him do better. I dont want him out of her life.. but I want him to do right.

In an odd way - he probably did you a favor in the end by calling them. This way they have seen your situation already, and can go visit hiw armed with that information.

I hope all continues to go well for Chloe and you can get the issues of concern resolved!

 

[disneydance]

This is hoorible your dh is terrible he should respect yur daughter more. I have a df who is goin through similar cutody promblem with her dh and all he is doing is making her mad. He takes away all there kids phone. DD is diabetiic and never does anthing right never want to give her shots etc. She hates it and cps does nothing and it just makes the rest of the family dad hope you get your figure out soon

 

[hematite153]

I actually laughed when I read your update. It's great that he called CPS. Yeah, so it was probably stressful. But, when you know that you are doing everything right (and even doing extras like making sure the pets get checked out because your DD got ringworm and you want to be absolutely certain) then you know that he really shot himself in the foot.

I have encountered situations where CPS assumes that parents only call them about their ex's because of a battle with the ex--rather than a concern about the children. These situations can make it hard for the parent with a legitimate safety concern to be listened to--it sounds like this is the battle you've been fighting.

Now, since he called them, he is the one who looks bitter--not you--and they ought to follow-up by checking out his place and his pets. I'm crossing my fingers that this follows the progression I'm expecting.

Did Chloe enjoy being back at school?