DAS for 12 Year Old

[chekhovgirl]

Hi all,

We are thinking about applying for a DAS for my 12 year old stepson who was diagnosed with Tourette's since we were last at Disney on top of conditions that made it hard for him to wait/ride last time we were there. During the wait in line, all it was was him being anxious for the ride and us trying to calm him, and then once we got up there he would sit out...the CM at FOP talked with him while we rode and gave us a FP to ride with him again and he rode and loved it. I think if we eliminate the long, stressful build up that he'll actually ride with us.

My question is, does anybody have any suggestions for how to handle applying for a 12 year old? I don't want to embarrass him, he has times where he knows this is how he is and he is fine with talking about it and then times when he feels very self conscious. What is the balance between talking to them and talking to you and how can I prepare him for this so it will be as painless as possible for him at this tender age?

Thank you,

Courtney

 

[AkronAaron]

It might help to prepare by talking about a specific situation he had where the DAS pass would have been useful, which your stepson is comfortable discussing. The FOP example may be a good one, or there might be another example he's more comfortable talking about. The CM will usually address you first, but will need to talk to stepson and take his picture to complete the process, so interaction is unavoidable.

 

[gap2368]

I would take to home before you go and say something like. I think we should go to GR and see if they can help you with the lines at Disney this is what I think I should say. Would you like me to write this down on paper and give it to the CM or would what I said be ok for me to say out loud. Letting him know why you are there and what you are going to say might help him. And will give him a say in things in the comfort of home and not infront of stranger

 

[murmer]

Your child has to be available to take a picture but does not need to stand right next to you. I have my daughter (also 12) sit on a bench or against the back wall in the same room while I share the line struggles so she doesn’t have to hear the things she struggles with. Then have them use the iPad to take the photo and run her band after they have determined the das is appropriate for her.

 

[TiggerPurrkins]

I have a 12 year old with the same condition. I just had him stand away from me as I explained why we needed the DAS. He didn't hear me talk about him at all. I made sure of it. It was not a problem.

 

[chekhovgirl]

Thank you all so much for giving me a sense of how the interaction goes. I think these are all possible options depending on what his state of mind is closer to the trip/on that day. I will discuss these scenarios with my husband about how we should approach it.

 

[Staren]

You know your child’s situation best. If he is really uncomfortable, waiting to the side is an option. I’ll give you my personal view on this based on my experience as a child with Cerebral Palsy though. Even when I was uncomfortable and nervous advocating for myself growing up, I’m glad for the experience now. Having a disability where you are fully aware of what is wrong is a hard road, and the easy solution in the moment is not always the right one.

I might be a bit of an aberration though. I started attending my own IEP meetings at the age of 9 in the 4th grade. I didn’t talk much that young of course, and the conversations were sometimes hard to hear. For me though, it was much better than knowing those decisions were being made without me having any say or understanding.

 

[treemi01]

I definitely think you should talk to him about it and see what he’s most comfortable with. I work in disability advocation with really young kids (all are preschoolers and elementary students), and many of them are very comfortable with expressing their own needs and prefer to do it that way. Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely conversations I have with parents out of earshot at times, too. There’s a good chance he won’t want to talk to the CM himself because it’s kind of an “on the spot” situation that can be intimidating, but he may have a preference on if you talk to them with him there, when he’s not right there, or if you write it down so it doesn’t have to be said at all.

 

[Staren]

This is a bit off topic for the OPs question, but I want to say it for future readers. Kids and especially tweens are more perceptive than we sometimes remember. They can also infer and assume. If you are not clear with them on why you are doing something, they might assume another reason depending on their headspace. You might do something intending to only spare feelings, but they might see it as them being too much of a hassle to include, are in trouble, are too stupid to help, are too slow, or a 100 other things. These are some of the things a class of 5th grade Sped kids talked about when the teachers were occupied back when I was coming up. These little gems are why some teachers don't like seeing my name listed as an advocate for IEP meetings. Having been on both sides of the table, and not as a parent I have a different perspective.