Convincing others solo is safe...

[pixiedust23]

I'm currently working full time and starting in May i'll also be going to school full time. I finish up grad school with student teaching in the fall and I would really like to take a solo trip to Disney. For one, it's free since my family is DVC and paying for grad school has wiped me out economically. For two, it's warm and all I want to do is lie by the pool all day. For three, I know I"m going to want a break from everything and everyone, including going out at night to bars/clubs with my friends. The problem is my parents are insisting that it's not safe and I find someone to go with me. I don't really think they understand one of the key points of this vacation is that I get to go ALONE! Have a hotel room all to myself, wake up when i want, eat when are where I want. Call me selfish but I want it to be all about ME! I feel it's incredibly safe esp since I would be able to take advantage of the magical express bus. How do I convince them? Any suggestions?

 

[TammyAlphabet]

hey! i'll tag along and then when we get there, i will leave you alone, I PROMISE!!!! (Man, i would do anything to get a trip to Disney!!)

On a more serious note, As a parent, I can understand their concern. Do you have a cell phone? If so, you might suggest to your parents that they can call you on the phone anytime to check up and ensure that you are okay....Other than that, I don't know what you can tell them. If you aren't hitting bars and other places like that, I would think you would be pretty safe with as many people around as there always is at Disney. Good Luck.

 

[spiceycat]

if you want to go you got to use their points right?

you want be able to convince them - they will not understand.

so find someone (not necessary a friend) that will go with you and LEAVE you alone.

make sure they understand the rules FIRST - don't get there and expect them to leave you alone without stating that is one of the rules first.

I have gone with people I expect to be very independent - instead they followed me around and I never got the freedom I expected. So state the rules FIRST.

 

[sk8belle]

It sounds like we are about the same age (mid to late 20s). I went by myself last year for F&W and felt pretty safe. The only part I wasn't too keen on is my room at OKW was not near the HH or very close to a bus stop. Walking back at night made me a little nervous. So my suggestion would be to promise your parents you'll stay at either BWV or BCV as they might be a bit safer.

 

[pixiedust23]

Yes I am 23 years old. They had no problem letting me wander around a college campus at night, but this they have issues with? I need their points or I can't afford it. Clearly I'm a responsible person, working full time and grad school full time together, I have a cell phone. I don't want to bring anyone with me b/c anyone I bring will want to hang out with me, which is what I dont want. And I dont want to share a room with anyone. I do realize I sound like a spoiled child here, but I work my butt off, live at home with my parents and my older brother, my puppy, my neighbors and their small children are always over...i get no private time whatsoever! So that is what i'm looking for.

My mom went on a vacation down to Ocean City, MD once when I was in high school, so I think I'm going to try play off her experience. I don't expect them to not worry, but it's not like I'm asking to go to Mexico or Jamaica or anything (both places they let me go on spring break) BLEH!

And as for defending myself that's just not even an issue for me. If I can handle myself in NYC all the time I think I can handle Disney. I'm just very frustrated!

 

[sk8belle]

I don't think you sound like a spoiled child at all - everyone needs some time to get away on their own. After all, isn't that what this particular board is all about? And as an only child with rather protective parents, I understand your frustration. Have they said why they don't think it's safe? Maybe if you can refute their arguements one by one, you'll be able to convince them. Tell them you'll call every day or night (I'm assuming you have a cell phone).

 

[pjpoohbear]

I am doing the solo thing for the first time in October of this year. With Magical Express, Disney Security and on property accomodations, what could be safer? For someone who is in their twenties and a very smart person from your background, what could be safer than a disney environment break.

What are their concerns, too much partying, you being alone, the travel alone. Maybe you can make contact with a Dis member who will be in the area around the same date. Giving you a local person to contact incase of a problem.

Penny

 

[Gillian]

Going solo is WONDERFUL & it sounds like you've earned it!

Maybe sit down together and let them voice their concerns. Ask what they are worried about and listen to what they have to say. Tell them why you would like to go and then ask if there are any steps you can take to help them feel better about it. Like maybe calling at pre-arranged times? Maybe if you work out some solutions together they will feel more relaxed about it.

Or threated to stay offsite at a cheap motel, paying for it all by credit card!

 

[jenelope]

I may be in my 30s and have been living on my own for many years, but I'm still my mother's youngest "baby" and she tends to be very overprotective. Over the past several years, I've taken a lot of solo trips to a variety of places, and I've worked out a plan that keeps my Mom relatively sane. First of all, I make sure I bring a cell phone and charger with me. I call Mom when I leave my room and when I return at the end of the day. Usually, I also call at some point during the day, but that's more because I want to tell her something, like "If you and Dad ever come back down with me, we are so going to tea" or "You won't believe what I just saw a monkey doing at the Animal Kingdom." Second, before I leave, I make out a tentative itinerary and give her a copy. If my plans change, I let her know. I actually have a little booklet that I made for myself a few years ago that's about the size of a business card with all my info. I tried to give my Mom a summary on a sheet of paper, but the second she saw the little book, she wanted that instead. My itinerary has things like my flight numbers, what parks I'm going to, PS numbers (although that's for me, not her). It also has my cell phone number and the phone number of the hotel.

It's a lot of work, but it seems to keep her satisfied, which, in turn, gives me some peace. It also makes sense, anyway, because if something happens, I want someone to miss me. My Mom went from being worried about me travelling alone to encouraging me to go. If your parents are DVC members, it sounds like they go to WDW often, themselves. Sit down and have a conversation with them about why the object to you travelling alone. Present your argument calmly and don't lose your temper, and keep in mind that its very likely that they will say no. Personally, if they still said no, I would find an alternate method of paying for my room. In this situation, they hold all the cards, because they own all the points.

Good luck!

 

[pixiedust23]

Yes i have a cell phone and when i asked my mom last night what her concerns were her answer was "it's just not safe." And while it might make sense to some of you to tell her I'll meet up with someone that I met here, it will freak her out even more and she'll have nightmares of going on 20/20 for an episode of how her 20-something daughter was abducted on vacation by someone she met on the internet (and in some respects I do have to agree with her on that, it's just not a safe world anymore).

As for them holding all the cards, technically they don't. It's our families time share and all of our names are on it. So I could book it without them, but I feel that is tres childish. I"ll just have to convince them. They usually do give in eventually. THey can just be such a hassle sometiems!

 

[WillCAD]

I sympathize. My first solo trip was the week of my 30th birthday, but my mother was nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs about the whole trip. She insisted that I call her every evening. To this day she insists that I call her when my plane lands, and at least once or twice during the trip. I don't talk to her that much when I'm at home!

PD23, what is it about the trip that they feel is unsafe? The travel part or the Disney part?

When's the last time you heard fo a crime at WDW? People simply DON'T get attacked there. It just doesn't happen. There have been some incidents of theft at the resorts, but they are usually theft by housekeeping when your room is empty, and even that is rare.

Talk to your parents and find out the key points of thier unsafe arguement, and we can give you some specific ways to reassure them. WDW is probbaly the safest vacation destination for a single traveller in the whole world, and with a little effort maybe we can all gang up on your parents and prove it to them.

 

[pixiedust23]

WillCAD- I think it might be the whole traveling alone thing, that bothers them. Although I have gone away on business trips alone or to meet people I"ve never met before and they haven't voiced any opinions about it. I think the issue is our baby the little 5'2 blonde girl is going to go out into the big bad world all alone. pathetic. I think I"m going to talk to the mom today and lay all the cards out. bc the mom uses reason and the dad is just very good at saying no before he hears any of the facts.

 

[purplebelle]

"Yes I am 23 years old. They had no problem letting me wander around a college campus at night, but this they have issues with?"

LOL! I'm beginning to experience this same issue with my parents. I'm not sure where you go to school but I bet Disney is much safer than most campuses anyway.

I like someone else's suggestion of finding a friend to go with who you know will leave you alone.

 

[Simba's Mom]

One thing I've noticed is that when you look around at WDW, there are LOTS of solo people. Some of them are solo for the moment-maybe the rest of the family took a potty break, went on a different ride, back in the room napping, or for whatever reason, went a different way for a few moments. So, pretend you're a thief, or someone with bad motives. How do you know who to pick on? It's so hard to pick out the truly solo, "available", people in WDW. Maybe that petite 23 yo female over there has a big, burly DH who'll arrive any moment. When I travel solo, lots of times I'll strike up a conversation with another solo near me, only to find out that "solo" has traveling companions elsewhere. For example,once, DH and I were eating at Biergarten, and started conversing with a nice gentleman who was dining alone. Found out that he loved German food, but the rest of the family hated it so they'd all gone to eat Italian. You never feel truly alone at WDW!

 

[ColoradoBelle1]

I can't think of a safer place than Disney...safer even than your home most likely!

That being said, I'm the mom of a 23 year old. Course, my only child went out of state to go to college and didn't live in a dorm but an apt and then a house. After graduating she traveled around the world (with friends) and I heard from her only by email and a web site they set up to post pictures.

I really couldn't say much about any of this because I did the same thing back in the late 70's re college and traveling for a year after I graduated and earned enough money to pay off student loans and pay for my trip.

SO....if my daughter wanted to go to Disney solo, my only problem would be that I'd want to meet her there!

However, there is an issue that probably bothers her more than me...She is a slim tall gorgeous blonde who looked much older than her years starting when she was but 7. And males being what they are, she has always had them staring at her, following her, trying to pick her up and it makes her very uncomfortable. Perhaps this is your parents real fear....I guess you could let them know that DIsney has so many security measures in place that this is really safer than your going to/from your job.

You are over 21, and despite how much love there is between you and your parents, you are a self supporting adult and they really can't 'control' your life anymore.

Have a serious heart to heart and speak your heart. Let them know you are willing to do anything within reason insofar as caling them, getting a security guard to walk you to your room if it is late etc...but that this is something that you want to do and.....well, it is time for it.

Good luck!

 

[pixiedust23]

Maybe I'll meet myself a nice bf before then, but knowing me I'll want a vacation from him too!

 

[tinkerbell81284]

I've been going solo since I was 18 (now 20). My mom's fine with it as long as I take my cellphone. She knows I am in a safe place and can take care of myself. The only big thing she worries about is that I spend too much money at WDW! I'm trying to get better at that one!

 

[sk8belle]

Good luck talking to the `rents. Let us know how it goes.

sk8belle

 

[doubletrouble_vb]

I have to say that jenelope hit the nail on the head. Pretty much you will never get them entirely comfortable about you traveling alone. I am now living with my mom after many years away from home, traveling when and where, how and with whom I want to. What I notice is that when either of my brothers or my twenty something nephew is here she asks NO questions about where they are going or how they found out about it etc etc. Me...I mentioned I'd found an interesting social club and she pointed out that toastmasters would be just as good . Of course the purpose of the social club is find other people who are interested in going and doing. The purpose of toastmasters is to become comfortable speaking in front of groups.

Anyway I digress. You've reached that point in your life where you'll decide how much say you will let your parents have in your adult life until (or maybe even after) you marry. Your best bet is what you are thinking. Sit your mom down and have her clearly define what is "not safe" about it because then you can construct an itinerary that she can feel better about. Plus you need to get her to realize that this is the beginning of your adult independence and that you will be traveling on your own in the future...and wouldn't she be more comfortable with it being WDW than say...Las Vegas.

Let me add that you will feel most comfortable staying in BWV, BCV or VWL. No walking long distances past isolated nooks and crannies. Also be aware that Disney is well versed in keeping bad news under wraps so just because people here haven't heard of anything happening there (other than theft and ride accidents) doesn't mean it hasn't. Your normal awareness for NYC should serve you well at Disney...don't put it on the back burner just because you are in WDW.

 

[sk8belle]

Thank you, doubletrouble. I'd been trying to say that, but couldn't come up with the best way of presenting it. I'm 28 and my grandmother fussed at me for flying by myself to Nashville last weekend. Meanwhile, I've been living in a different state from my family for 8 years now, not including the time away from home while at college, and traveled on my own many, many times to places futher away than TN. It can be hard to assert your independence with parents sometimes, but you've got to make them start realizing you're an adult now.