Children and grandchildren.....

[DizBelle]

I once had someone tell me that your life can be fulfilling without children but it can't be fulfilling without grandchildren.

I was like .

What do you think?

 

[Hikergirl]

Does that person know how biology works?

I assume they mean that you can have a fulfilling (or is it fulfilled?) life without children. However if you do have children, then you can't have a fulfilling life if they don't produce grandchildren for you. I don't buy all that, I think your life is what you make it, and most people find all kind of things to lead a fulfilling life. Those things do not have to be other people.

 

[RedAngie]

I won't mind if I never become a grandmother.

 

[erin1715]

My husband and I have been trying for children for years but so far we haven't been able to have any. So, I'm working on being fulfilled without them. My in-laws have grandchildren and they constantly make it sound like the greatest thing in the world. In fact, my MIL often posts things on FB about "children are the rainbow and grandchildren are the pot of gold at the end." It honestly makes me feel pretty bad about myself.

On the other hand, my own parents are very supportive, never mention it and are happy to just spend time with my husband and I.

Sorry about the rant....

 

[Liberty Belle]

I think that's silly and totally depends on the person.

I am very children-centric. I love kids. I've always known I wanted children. I would definitely feel incomplete without kids.
And I'd really like grandchildren some day. If my kids don't have kids, though, there are always programs, neighbors, etc, where I can be involved in children's lives in a grandmotherly role.

 

[Wishing on a star]

That is like totally messed up....
To not be fulfilled by raising your own child(ren) but to then want/expect the benefit of all of the fun parts with out the responsibility of grandchildren.

I will also say that this is a really messed up expectation to place on grandchildren, to 'be in my life and provide for my happiness and fulfillment'. Nobody should be necessary or required to provide 'fulfillment', except one's self!

 

[Klayfish]

Makes no sense to me. I could die tomorrow and would feel very fulfilled. No grandkids, but 3 kids.

 

[Liberty Belle]

My husband and I have been trying for children for years but so far we haven't been able to have any. So, I'm working on being fulfilled without them. My in-laws have grandchildren and they constantly make it sound like the greatest thing in the world. In fact, my MIL often posts things on FB about "children are the rainbow and grandchildren are the pot of gold at the end." It honestly makes me feel pretty bad about myself.

On the other hand, my own parents are very supportive, never mention it and are happy to just spend time with my husband and I.

Sorry about the rant....

I'm sorry if what I said about feeling incomplete was insensitive.

 

[MataHari22]

I could die tomorrow and be perfectly fulfilled. No kids. No grandkids.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

Having kids is up to you--whether it's biological kids, adoption, foster kids, etc.

Having grandkids is not up to you.

If you follow this person's advice you would really be setting yourself up for disappointment potentially.

Personally, my life wouldn't feel complete without having kids and if biological children were not an option we'd be looking at adoption or foster. I'd love to have grandchildren in 25 years or so, but like I said, that's out of my hands. I do know that my children bring my own parents so much joy.

 

[diesel]

I had a coworker once tell me that she felt sorry for me because I would never know true love because I didn't have a child. My husband and I are childless by choice. It was such an odd thing to say to someone.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Having grandkids is not up to you.

Amen... and AMEN!!!!

I will admit that I have told my son once that, since I never had a little girl, he has to bring me baby girl to play with, one day!!!
But, it is all just positive, and in jest. And, that is how it is all taken!
I def. DON'T want him to be having any baby any time soon!!!!! (He has been with his girlfriend for a year now, and is getting her a nice promise/girlfriend ring for Christmas.)

Any expectation for anyone else to provide fulfillment for another adult is a problem.

 

[morgan98]

I think that people can have fulfilling lives without children and grandchildren. My husband and I are childless by what I guess I would call choice. However, it was more of a timing/circumstance thing than we are horrible, selfish people kind of thing. I am only saying that because there are people who assume that because you do not have children you are either missing out on something huge or there is something wrong with you.

 

[mom2rtk]

I had a coworker once tell me that she felt sorry for me because I would never know true love because I didn't have a child. My husband and I are childless by choice. It was such an odd thing to say to someone.

How rude!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yes, that is what I thought... How Rude!!!

 

[erin1715]

I'm sorry if what I said about feeling incomplete was insensitive.

I appreciate your awareness but it's okay. I totally understand. I have a desire for children and when we came to the end of our fertility treatment road, I felt like I didn't have a purpose unless I was a mother. I have always wanted to be a mom, but sometimes the Man upstairs has different plans and overall I have peace about it, and have come to realize my purpose comes from somewhere (someOne) else.

 

[mom2rtk]

I appreciate your awareness but it's okay. I totally understand. I have a desire for children and when we came to the end of our fertility treatment road, I felt like I didn't have a purpose unless I was a mother. I have always wanted to be a mom, but sometimes the Man upstairs has different plans and overall I have peace about it, and have come to realize my purpose comes from somewhere (someOne) else.

 

[gwynne]

I once had someone tell me that your life can be fulfilling without children but it can't be fulfilling without grandchildren.

I was like .

What do you think?

Well, If an acquaintance tells you baloney like that, ignore it and don't give it a second thought. Friend? It might be time to expand the friend circle.

My husband and I have been trying for children for years but so far we haven't been able to have any. So, I'm working on being fulfilled without them. My in-laws have grandchildren and they constantly make it sound like the greatest thing in the world. In fact, my MIL often posts things on FB about "children are the rainbow and grandchildren are the pot of gold at the end." It honestly makes me feel pretty bad about myself.

On the other hand, my own parents are very supportive, never mention it and are happy to just spend time with my husband and I.

Sorry about the rant....

A combination of thoughtlessness and bragging rarely turns out well. I'm sorry your MIL is so unpleasant.
I am glad your parents understand. Sometimes life takes unexpected (and unplanned) turns. Having people who love you dearly helps as you navigate new ways of thinking and new possibilities.

I think that people can have fulfilling lives without children and grandchildren. My husband and I are childless by what I guess I would call choice. However, it was more of a timing/circumstance thing than we are horrible, selfish people kind of thing. I am only saying that because there are people who assume that because you do not have children you are either missing out on something huge or there is something wrong with you.

People absolutely can have happy, fulfilled lives without children.
I think folks who assume differently have a rather unpleasant, judgmental view of life. It would be nice if they kept their narrow views to themselves.

 

[luvsJack]

I think what should be said is I am fulfilled by my grandchildren or children or dog or chickens or whatever. Fulfillment comes from different things for each and every one of us. Some people do not feel fulfilled in their life even though they have children and grandchildren.

Personally, my life has centered around my children and that's the way I love it. And now, as my youngest is almost grown, I have my grands that I love dearly and do feel a certain amount of fulfillment because I am a grandmother. I do not expect anything of them, I do not expect them to "be in my life and make me happy". Quite the opposite, in fact.

But do I think the next person that does not have children couldn't possibly have a happy life or are somehow less than those that do? Not at all.

 

[Southernmiss]

I once had someone tell me that your life can be fulfilling without children but it can't be fulfilling without grandchildren.

I was like .

What do you think?

Sounds like something said in jest. Like a quote to think about.

Being in the throes of parenting is hard at many stages.

Being a grandparent will be different because you don't have all the parental concerns. You can be the 'fun' person in the kid's life without all the responsibility. And there's often a special bond with kids and grandparents. I know I've always seen my Granny in a different light than my mom. Love them both dearly...but there's a different relationship with my Granny.