Childless By Choice

[SirDuff]

When they were infants, how many times did people ask you "Are they twins?" I can't tell you how many times we had it. I never did, but I always wanted to laugh and say "Well, let's see....do the math here..."

On the other hand, shortly after moving in, I often saw my neighbour's nanny wheeling two infants of about six months of age. I made a comment to the couple that their twins were lovely, only to be told that they weren't twins. I'm thinking, I know that I can mess up age, but no way is either one of those nine months older than the other. Turns out that they had a "nanny share" and the other little one wasn't theirs at all (but looked like she could be). Oops

 

[Dolewhip Dreaming]

I absolutely am. I used to want children and then, I feel like, suddenly one day I didn't. I thought maybe it was because of my age but the older I get, the more I realize that I really don't want them. Sometimes I'll see a baby and get baby fever but then I think about how much money I don't have and how I don't feel that I am fit to be a mother because I wouldn't be able to give my child everything that my parents gave me.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Oh, how I can empathize....

We had our oldest son first. A few years later we both agreed we wanted one more. No twins in our families, anywhere. No fertility drugs. When the home test came back positive, we went to the doctor (obviously didn't know we were having twins then) who ordered routine blood work to confirm the pregnancy test reading. He called right away and said "We need you to go for an ultrasound right away", but he wouldn't tell us why. Of course we were concerned. We went for the ultrasound and the technician spoke very limited English, she was Asian. All she said was "uh oh". She turned the machine off and back on, because there were two dots with a line in between. Machine comes back on, same results. By this time, DW is totally confused because she couldn't see the machine...it was behind her head. The technician simply said "I think twins". I think I did a literal . The doctor said he had a strong feeling based on the blood work results. Well, surprise, surprise...two for one sale. We were dumbfounded and scared, but now I can't imagine life without three kids, including a set of twins.

Since they were born, we've had the same joke countless times of "Do you want any more?" DW gave many people the stink eye.

When they were infants, how many times did people ask you "Are they twins?" I can't tell you how many times we had it. I never did, but I always wanted to laugh and say "Well, let's see....do the math here..."

I always want to say, “No. I found this one and thought I’d keep it.”

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

On the other hand, shortly after moving in, I often saw my neighbour's nanny wheeling two infants of about six months of age. I made a comment to the couple that their twins were lovely, only to be told that they weren't twins. I'm thinking, I know that I can mess up age, but no way is either one of those nine months older than the other. Turns out that they had a "nanny share" and the other little one wasn't theirs at all (but looked like she could be). Oops

I don’t get too offended when people ask me that either because my kids don’t even look related. It just gets a little frustrating hearing it over and over.

 

[QueenIsabella]

Oh, how I can empathize....

We had our oldest son first. A few years later we both agreed we wanted one more. No twins in our families, anywhere. No fertility drugs. When the home test came back positive, we went to the doctor (obviously didn't know we were having twins then) who ordered routine blood work to confirm the pregnancy test reading. He called right away and said "We need you to go for an ultrasound right away", but he wouldn't tell us why. Of course we were concerned. We went for the ultrasound and the technician spoke very limited English, she was Asian. All she said was "uh oh". She turned the machine off and back on, because there were two dots with a line in between. Machine comes back on, same results. By this time, DW is totally confused because she couldn't see the machine...it was behind her head. The technician simply said "I think twins". I think I did a literal . The doctor said he had a strong feeling based on the blood work results. Well, surprise, surprise...two for one sale. We were dumbfounded and scared, but now I can't imagine life without three kids, including a set of twins.

Since they were born, we've had the same joke countless times of "Do you want any more?" DW gave many people the stink eye.

When they were infants, how many times did people ask you "Are they twins?" I can't tell you how many times we had it. I never did, but I always wanted to laugh and say "Well, let's see....do the math here..."

I grew up with the opposite problem--my brother and I are 11 months apart, so when I was moved up, I was in his grade. People asked constantly if we were twins, then when we said "no", the assumption was that he stayed back a year. He's 56--maybe one of these years, he'll forgive me...

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Oh, how I can empathize....

We had our oldest son first. A few years later we both agreed we wanted one more. No twins in our families, anywhere. No fertility drugs. When the home test came back positive, we went to the doctor (obviously didn't know we were having twins then) who ordered routine blood work to confirm the pregnancy test reading. He called right away and said "We need you to go for an ultrasound right away", but he wouldn't tell us why. Of course we were concerned. We went for the ultrasound and the technician spoke very limited English, she was Asian. All she said was "uh oh". She turned the machine off and back on, because there were two dots with a line in between. Machine comes back on, same results. By this time, DW is totally confused because she couldn't see the machine...it was behind her head. The technician simply said "I think twins". I think I did a literal . The doctor said he had a strong feeling based on the blood work results. Well, surprise, surprise...two for one sale. We were dumbfounded and scared, but now I can't imagine life without three kids, including a set of twins.

Since they were born, we've had the same joke countless times of "Do you want any more?" DW gave many people the stink eye.

When they were infants, how many times did people ask you "Are they twins?" I can't tell you how many times we had it. I never did, but I always wanted to laugh and say "Well, let's see....do the math here..."

Even though we knew there was a chance, our reaction to seeing twins on the monitor was very similar! My knees started knocking and didn't stop till we were halfway home. We were only two weeks from embryo transfer. Our bloodwork indicated just one, so we were thrilled. Had to go in for ultrasound to check placement. I happened to have a bad flu or something and was laying flat on the table with sunglasses on (due to light hurting my eyes - something I would normally never do). My thought was that it was just a routine check. Tech said, "How many babies do you want?" And I said, "One". I looked over at DH who could see the monitor and had tears running down his cheeks just as the tech said, "You've got two here!". I sat bolt upright, tore the glasses off and stared at the monitor, seeing those two little spots blew my mind - especially as I could see the very beginnings of blood circulation right there as I watched. (Most probably wouldn't even notice it but as a cardiac nurse, that was fascinating to me!) Mine were also born at 40 weeks and over 7lbs each!

The main thing I heard from people was, "I always wanted twins", which was not a thought I ever once had in my head growing up! I did picture myself with one girl, for some reason, but one who was adolescent age, not a baby or toddler, etc. I definitely never pictured myself with a boy - but I got one (as well as a girl). And as others here have recently said, my fears about that (having a boy) went from, well, fears one moment, to complete the minute I held him. I also found that I wasn't afraid of anything at all as a parent once they came, it seemed very natural caring for them and I knew that we could get through anything together. Given that I was always more a puppy person than a baby person, this was quite a surprise.

 

[3smithboys]

Oh, how I can empathize....

We had our oldest son first. A few years later we both agreed we wanted one more. No twins in our families, anywhere. No fertility drugs. When the home test came back positive, we went to the doctor (obviously didn't know we were having twins then) who ordered routine blood work to confirm the pregnancy test reading. He called right away and said "We need you to go for an ultrasound right away", but he wouldn't tell us why. Of course we were concerned. We went for the ultrasound and the technician spoke very limited English, she was Asian. All she said was "uh oh". She turned the machine off and back on, because there were two dots with a line in between. Machine comes back on, same results. By this time, DW is totally confused because she couldn't see the machine...it was behind her head. The technician simply said "I think twins". I think I did a literal . The doctor said he had a strong feeling based on the blood work results. Well, surprise, surprise...two for one sale. We were dumbfounded and scared, but now I can't imagine life without three kids, including a set of twins.

Since they were born, we've had the same joke countless times of "Do you want any more?" DW gave many people the stink eye.

When they were infants, how many times did people ask you "Are they twins?" I can't tell you how many times we had it. I never did, but I always wanted to laugh and say "Well, let's see....do the math here..."

Your story is almost identical to mine!! I have an older son and then identical twin boys.