Being Requested to Get Whooping Cough Vaccine to Hold Infant

[SanderMC]

My daughter is 4.5. When I was pregnant I did ask my family to make sure they had an up to date tdap. All complied. As was mentioned above this is recommended by the CDC and was highly recommended by my daughter's pediatrician.

 

[MIGrandma]

I have zero patience for anti vaccine people, so i wont even go there....but i think you are right. Check with your doctor and follow their advice. However there is alot to unpack here. What is the reason for the request?...Is it completely random?...and smoking while you are pregnant is really about 10,000 times more damaging to a baby then being held by a non whooping cough shot person......Any chance this request is just a way to take a shot at the anti-vax person?

Her doctor recommended everyone that is planning to hold/be around the baby get the vaccine, that was the reason she gave when she posted it on Facebook.

I am not sure the mother-to-be even knew that her mother-in-law didn't vaccinate her children until she mentioned it in her Facebook response to the request.

I would try to stay out of it, wait, and see how things play out, considering your daughter-in-law sounds like she's in the middle of a fight with your grandson's wife. I'd also try to avoid gossiping about the grandson's wife. She can be very concerned about her baby's health, and still find it difficult to resist her addiction to nicotine. These are not mutually exclusive positions to hold.

With regards to updating your own vaccines, I think discussing it with your doctor is an excellent plan. You may want to get up to date on a few of them, not just whooping cough. At the very least, you'll likely want to get a flu shot this September.

For the record, I'm glad to hear your grandson and his wife are taking vaccines seriously. And that their child will likely be properly vaccinated. Whooping cough is no joke, and the vaccine wears off after a few decades. I may have had whooping cough myself a few years back (though it was never conclusively confirmed). It was awful. I'd never, ever want to risk exposing an infant to that!

Oh, I am definitely staying out of it. I learned from my own MIL not to give opinions to my children (and now that extends to grandchildren as well) unless asked. This is a battle between the new mom-to-be and her mother-inlaw. I was just curious what other people would do in this situation, and I'm a bit surprised that so many here did the same thing: requesting people get the vaccine if they wanted to hold or be around their newborn. I really didn't know it was that much of an issue to get a whooping cough vaccination, so I'm learning. But like I said, I will definitely ask my own doctor what he thinks too. I do get a flu shot, every October.

Whopping cough is no joke--a friend of ours had it. He'd been vaccinated as a child, but didn't get a booster in later years. He was really sick for months--he said it took close to a year before he felt normal again. It's deadly serious to infants, as well. So, I can understand the mother's position on this. But even without the scenario you presented, it would be a good idea for you to discuss this with your physician, for your own health. Then, I would stay out of the ensuing vaccine drama, for your own emotional well-being (and to keep your blood pressure down!). I won't speculate on if this is an overcautious mother, a prudent one, or one taking pot-shots at someone else's vaccine choices. Bottom line is, it's her baby, so she has the right to lay out some ground rules. Of course, then she loses the right to crab and whine because nobody comes to visit her.

Yes, I will definitely stay out of the drama. As they say "not my circus, not my monkeys". I was very surprised to learn my DIL did not vaccinate her daughters. I have no idea why, and I have no plans to discuss it with her. None of my business.

 

[pryncess527]

Uhh, I feel like there's so much I want to say but it's really not my place to say most of it.

Smoking vs. Whooping cough?!

Ok, ok, I'll be good.

Now then, I think her point may be moot from a medical standpoint. I, too, am pregnant (not smoking) and was told that at my next appointment (At 16 weeks) I'd get a whooping cough vaccine that would also take care of the baby while still in utero. If she does this, there's no cause for you to also be vaccinated unless you were going to do it for other reasons.

But the baby would lack protection after being born, right?

 

[MagicallyMom]

But the baby would lack protection after being born, right?

Nope, that's the whole point. Mama gets it and transfers immunity to baby while we share a blood system.

I think it's a newish method. My older child is almost 7 and this wasn't offered to me during that pregnancy.

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

Mom's baby, mom's rules.
Vaccinations are a good thing.

Both my girls did the same thing. No vaccines, no babies. Luckily, DH and I had gotten updated a few years prior, in anticipation of the transplant, and we kept the kids UTD on theirs.

 

[MIGrandma]

Is your DIL the baby's grandmother? Or the dad's aunt?

I guess I didn't explain that very well, sorry. My DIL is married to our DS, it is our DS's son and his wife that are pregnant. Our DIL is our grandson's step-mother, so would be his wife's step-mother-in-law.

This is actually a CDC recommendation that everyone that comes into contact with the newborn has their updated TDAP vaccine.

https://www.cdc.gov/features/pertussis/

http://www.uofmhealth.org/news/archive/201306/whooping-cough-can-be-deadly-infants-61-percent-adults-don’t

Actually, now that I think about it when I got a tetanus shot a couple of years ago I think they combined it with the t-dap vaccine. I think I remember the nurse talking about that, but since I'm not 100% sure I will definitely ask about it at my next doctor's appointment. So if I did have that, then I would have already gotten the whooping cough vaccine, correct? How long does the vaccination actually last?

If this a different daughter-in-law than the grandson's mother? You mention her daughters but not him as a son. Just interested in the family dynamics.

See above post.

 

[gemini2727]

If it was a relative I'd be seeing a lot of and potentially spending time with the baby then I'd CONSIDER it but if my doctor said I don't need it or should not get it then I wouldn't.
But um just to hold a baby for a few minutes like a friend that would come to see the newly born child? No freaking way.
Does she think everyone interacting with the baby at the hospital or dr's office or out in the world has been vaccinated? She's gonna learn things the hard way lol.

Hospitals most definitely have vaccination requirements for their workers for the protection of their patients, of course including the newborn nursery and NICU. Random people out in the world won't be holding your newborn like hospital personnel and family members, etc.

I worked many years on a maternity ward, and we offered the Pertussis booster to any mother who wasn't up to date, and recommended it to anyone within close contact with the infant. Whooping cough is no joke.

 

[Wishing on a star]

A quick search seems to show that Whooping Cough has been an increasing concern in Michigan. (if this is where the OP and family members are)
Here is a link to a story from early this year.
http://www.mlive.com/news/detroit/index.ssf/2017/01/whooping_cough.html

 

[MIGrandma]

Now then, I think her point may be moot from a medical standpoint. I, too, am pregnant (not smoking) and was told that at my next appointment (At 16 weeks) I'd get a whooping cough vaccine that would also take care of the baby while still in utero. If she does this, there's no cause for you to also be vaccinated unless you were going to do it for other reasons.

I wonder if her doctor mentioned this to her, rather than just telling her to ask everyone else to get vaccinated.

Makes sense to me that they would vaccinate her to protect the baby.

 

[maxaroni]

Haven't been asked to do this, nor am I around babies currently. My DH was punctured a couple of years ago by a rusty nail, off to get a Tetanus shot. At my last doctors check up, I asked my doctor about a tetanus shot as I knew I was overdue. He suggested getting the tdap booster as our vaccines are not lifelong. With that being said, I would ask your doctor for yourself but may not be a bad idea anyway. As far as the request, I remember all of my concerns when I was pregnant with DS24 and if whooping cough is making a comeback, I may think the same way.

 

[MagicallyMom]

I wonder if her doctor mentioned this to her, rather than just telling her to ask everyone else to get vaccinated.

Makes sense to me that they would vaccinate her to protect the baby.

I just looked it up to make sure I didn't misunderstand my doctor, and yes, if she gets a shot in the 3rd trimester, antibodies are transferred to baby to protect them until they're old enough for their own vaccine. (CDC was the source.)

 

[brooke789]

Whooping cough was spreading in our area when my 3 year old was born. DH, myself and all grandparents got the vaccine

 

[aprilchem]

I would absolutely comply with this. My daughter was exposed to whooping cough when she was a baby at the pediatrician's office, of all places; an unvaccinated child came in with it and it was a huge deal. We were on pins and needles waiting to see if she got it; fortunately she didn't.

 

[smiths02]

I don't know about the recent research into in-utero immunity, but I have 4 year old twins. We made sure all grandparents/close family had the vaccine. I didn't do a facebook blast at the time because we just don't have that many relatives who live near enough to be holding the babies those first months, but we did push our parents to do it.

ETA: Our doctors specifically told us to make everyone get the vaccine. It is not something we invented to be PITAs

The smoking, is another issue. I mean it is really bad, but it really doesn't add anything logical to the argument. In fact, I would think that a baby living in the house of a smoker/s would be more inclined to suffer from respiratory infections, so the vaccine may be MORE important.

 

[ShirikiUtundu]

Drama aside, and barring very special circumstances, anyone who plans to spend a lot of time around a newborn should get a whooping cough vaccine (Tdap booster). I didn't hear this from <random mom-to-be that I know>, my physician highly recommended it.

 

[Gracie09]

I just looked it up to make sure I didn't misunderstand my doctor, and yes, if she gets a shot in the 3rd trimester, antibodies are transferred to baby to protect them until they're old enough for their own vaccine. (CDC was the source.)

no vaccine is 100%. Getting the shot while the baby is in utero and having those around the baby be vaccinated is the best way to protect the baby. As part of my pre-ivf protocol both my husband and I had our shots updated and those who would be in contact with our dd had to have their whooping cough shot updated or they were not allowed to hold her. Sorry, not sorry. She was premature and we wanted to protect her the best we could.
I'm glad we did. Having gone through her hospitalization due to RSV, which there is not true vaccine for, I would never forgive myself if she contracted whooping cough and I could have prevented it.

 

[MIGrandma]

I just looked it up to make sure I didn't misunderstand my doctor, and yes, if she gets a shot in the 3rd trimester, antibodies are transferred to baby to protect them until they're old enough for their own vaccine. (CDC was the source.)

Thanks for the info.

I'm having a small family get-together the 21st, to celebrate my Mom's 80th birthday, and if our grandson and his wife come I will ask her if her doctor mentioned this to her.

 

[Westcoastwild]

Well, I sense a lot of drama ahead with the mil. Because she was probably already giving her son and daughter in law a hard time about vaccinations in general. And that is a hill I'd die on with an in law. Anti-vaxxers are crazy. Most of them are basing their beliefs on a study that has been proven several times to be baseless. Meanwhile, stuff that has been basically eradicated is making a comeback in schools. Like it never even crosses their minds that childhood mortality is not the awful fear now as it was 100 years ago because of all of our vaccines.

As everyone else has said, whooping cough is no joke. I'm not a smoker and I don't like smoking. But I'd be a good deal more worried about the kid dying from awful stuff like whooping cough. Smoking might cause asthma. Or might not. A lot of women smoked in the 50s and 60s and most of their children did just fine. Whooping cough causes death in babies.

More to the point, it isn't a "right" to hold someone's baby. Someone asks me to put down my beer and wash my hands before doing so? I'll do it. Someone asks me to get a shot before doing so? Sure. I just got tested for immunity to volunteer in a nursing home. If I had different test results, I would have had to get some expensive vaccinations. Bet you the Mil's family has been getting quiet vaccinations on the side.

Oh, and I actually agree with the Facebook cattle call. It was probably the only way she could make it very clear. Because otherwise the MIL could go around and tell people differently.

 

[MIGrandma]

Oh, and just for the record I am 100% firmly in favor of vaccinations for children, and adults as well. In fact, DH and I both turn 60 this summer/fall and our "big gift" to each other is going to be the shingles vaccination!!

But I don't see any point in giving my opinion to my DIL after finding out she didn't have her daughters vaccinated. I have no idea why she believes the way she does, but it really isn't any of my business.

I'm glad I asked here about the vaccination, I really had no idea whooping cough is such a problem these days.

 

[MagicallyMom]

I don't know about the recent research into in-utero immunity, but I have 4 year old twins. We made sure all grandparents/close family had the vaccine. I didn't do a facebook blast at the time because we just don't have that many relatives who live near enough to be holding the babies those first months, but we did push our parents to do it.

ETA: Our doctors specifically told us to make everyone get the vaccine. It is not something we invented to be PITAs

The smoking, is another issue. I mean it is really bad, but it really doesn't add anything logical to the argument. In fact, I would think that a baby living in the house of a smoker/s would be more inclined to suffer from respiratory infections, so the vaccine may be MORE important.

Just to be fair, I get that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, but if smoking did make baby more susceptible, wouldn't you think she'd quit?

Sorry, none of my business really, just explaining that I did see what you see, I just still don't think the smoking is irrelevant.