Bah Humbug

[CarmenJames865]

19 days and counting till our 1st Disney Cruise. The excitment has been building since I booked in February 2012, hard to believe it is almost here.

Wish I could say I was excited.

Last Thursday my 46 year old sister was diagnosed with Acute Lukemia and started aggressive chemotherapy last night.

I feel terrible going on vacation and having a good time when my sister is back home battling cancer.

I have 9 year old twins that I cannot let down they are so excited...

I am torn but I couldnt disappoint my kids for anything and my husband said I need to get away and try and deprogram from the stress and worry.....

 

[carpenta]

Sorry to hear about your sister. If you ask I would bet she would want what's best for her niece/nephews and not disappoint them. Her battle will be a tough one but there have been so much progress against Cancer she should accompany you all on cruise #2.....it will give a great goal for her to strive towards. Just bring back many pictures of the kids having fun to remind her of her generosity to put her niece/nephews ahead of herself. She will be in my prayers. God Bless.

 

[Lucijoy]

Go and have a great time! You've had this planned for so long and there is nothing you can do in the immediate future to help you're sister. I'm sure she would hate for you to cancel plans that have been in the works for so long.

My husband and I booked our first cruise about 9 months out and were eagerly awaiting our departure back in May 2012. The Tuesday before we were to leave my mother-in-law was hospitalize due to a stroke that had also severely affected her dementia. Within a day or two, however, she was stable but would not be going home anytime soon. Our adult children and my parents, knowing how much we had been looking forward to this trip (our first just the two of us, non-business related, since our honeymoon) urged us to go ahead--they'd cover for us. We did and did not regret the decision for one moment! We really needed that time together away from the stress to prepare us for the hard weeks ahead with his mom. She passed away about 6weeks after our return.

Please go and enjoy the time with your family. You'll be better able to minister to your sister's needs in the days and months ahead by being refreshed, and with taking the time to focus on your family now, they will be more understanding with your time focused on her later. Prayers for all as you head down this difficult road.

 

[lbgraves]

I have to agree with the others. You aren't going to affect your sister's condition by staying home. Over the 9+ years my MIL battled stage 4 colon cancer, we went on a 7-night cruise each year. We all needed the chance to get away from the reality completely. We left everything behind and instructions to not contact us during the cruise. It was our escape and we would return refreshed and ready for the next battle.

 

[Shazzie B]

I have two sisters and would tell them to definitely go, I'm sure yours is telling you the same. Do your best to relax and enjoy, love, prayers and best wishes to all of you during this difficult time.

 

[TCB in FLA]

Carmen- prayers go out to your sister and family!

I hope you go ahead with your cruise for your children's sake and your own mental being. Is your sister a Disney fan or has a favorite character? You can bring a small poster for a picture with the character and with your family/kids -- maybe something like "Mickey says to stay strong!" Then have the picture framed for her when you get back.

My DS11 has a friend dealing with a second bout with leukemia and his class is wearing orange bracelets to remember her fight daily.

 

[natmom]

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry to hear about your sister.

I think she would want you to go and have a good time with your daughters. It sounds like they have been looking forward to it for a long time. Maybe have an honest conversation with her and tell her how you are feeling. You sound like a wonderful sister and you will be able to support her before your trip and when you get back.

 

[TexMomma]

I agree with the others who are encouraging you to go on your cruise. You will be there for your sister in the coming days, and I imagine (like the others) that she would not want your kids to miss out on their much-anticipated trip. If she's a Disney fan also, perhaps you could have something signed for her (pillowcase, photo mat, etc.) or if you're decorating your door, maybe make a special magnet in her honor. Or how about a special Roaming Mickey that people could sign with a word of encouragement?

 

[Meghatron]

If I were in your sister's place I would be horrified if my family cancelled a vacation that was only days away because of me. You will be there for her when you return.

 

[sbtrfly74]

If your on the Fantasy on the 14th then we're on the same cruise

No matter how hard it is to go enjoy yourself with your family in the lieu of bad news your sister wouldnt want this and Im sure is overwhelmed enough to not really care about how your feeling at this moment.

Maybe send her something extra special if she's starting treatment while your gone like either flowers or dinner.

Hope to see your twins if its the same cruise... DD10 will be there too.

 

[skiingwife]

Go and take a lot of pictures and make a lot of memories. Make a photo book when you get home and go through it with your sister. You can tell her all about your cruise and have a good time reliving it with her. It will be something you can do if you attend a chemo session with her. I know from experience that those can be long. She'll like seeing your photos.

 

[kiford]

My mother was in a long-term care facility in mid-2010 with her third bout of cancer in four years. We had a Med cruise scheduled in September and we suggested four times to her and my dad between April and September that we should cancel. They both absolutely insisted that we go and refused to even consider that we should cancel something we had looked forward to for several months prior to her entering the facility.

We took an iPhone with us and sent pictures to my dad every day that we took on our excursions that day and he printed them out and took them to her when he visited so that she could see what we were doing. She would have been very unhappy if we had cancelled it because of her illness. We were, in fact, just about to cancel in July and were checking out the trip insurance and mentioned it to her and she was very upset that we would think that we should do that because of her. She said that there was nothing that we could do to change anything and it would weigh on her that we had put off this trip.

Think about how you would feel about having someone put off a trip because of you - would you feel bad about it or guilty that they stayed because of you even if you got to see them during that time? While I'm sure my mom missed us, it was typical of her to want us to do things that we enjoy. The fact that we sent pictures every day showed that we were still thinking of her and gave my dad something to talk to her about (we sent narratives in our e-mail as well).

If you have a smartphone and can justify the expense (and patience required) to buy internet minutes on board, do so. Send her messages to let her know that you're thinking of her and some pictures to try to lift her spirits, give her something nice to think about, something else good to focus on. The same things you might do if you were visiting her.

 

[Stinkerbell1973]

First and foremost, I am sorry to hear about your sister. Hugs! We will keep your family in our prayers.

I would certainly still go on your vacation and enjoy yourself. You will need the R & R to help your sister and family get through this tough time. It will give you an opportunity to clear your head too so that you are better prepared for the tough road ahead.

One other thing to consider....it might cause undue stress on your sister if she knows you cancelled because of her. Obviously I don't know her, and that's simply an assumption on my part but it's something to think about.

Regardless, this family will be praying for yours.

 

[Geese99]

My thoughts and prayers to you and your sister. As an oncology RN, I get the honor to get to know my AML patients and their families so well because their induction chemotherapy is lengthy and keeps them in my hospital for approximately one month. It sounds like you will be returning near the end of that month when she will really be needing you. From my experience, when families keep their loved one aware and involved with the "outside" world, it keeps their spirits up. Induction chemotherapy is very rough on the body, but if your sister was excited for you and your family to go on this trip, it will only devastate her spirits if you cancelled or didn't enjoy it on account of her.

Hope this helps. Enjoy your cruise!

 

[CarmenJames865]

If your on the Fantasy on the 14th then we're on the same cruise

No matter how hard it is to go enjoy yourself with your family in the lieu of bad news your sister wouldnt want this and Im sure is overwhelmed enough to not really care about how your feeling at this moment.

Maybe send her something extra special if she's starting treatment while your gone like either flowers or dinner.

Hope to see your twins if its the same cruise... DD10 will be there too.

Yes we are on the December 14th Fantasy Sailing.

 

[CarmenJames865]

Thank You all for the kind words it means a lot.

I talked to my sister and she has encouraged us to go and enjoy ourselves.

I couldnt imagine letting the kiddos down.

I am dreading it right now but I am sure once onboard it will be a welcomed stress relief.

Please continue to pray for remission for my sister......

Thank You all...