At what point do you sleep when your kids aren’t home?

[Poohlove]

I’m not talking about overnights, etc. I mean when they go out. DS22 and DS20 both still live at home. DS hangs out with friends often and is usually out far past my bedtime and I can sleep just fine. DD on the other hand seldom goes anywhere except to work and during the day ventures out but tonight is at a gathering at a friends house. She is just a few blocks away and she is fine but she isn’t home yet and I can not sleep. I’ve been dozing off and on but every time I hear a car my eyes pop wide open.

Neither are drinkers and they are very responsible, why can’t I sleep?? Makes me wonder what I’ll be like when they eventually leave the nest. What age were your kids when you stopped losing sleep over them being out? What did you do to ease yourself into slumber in the meantime?

 

[Welsh_Dragon]

I’m not talking about overnights, etc. I mean when they go out. DS22 and DS20 both still live at home. DS hangs out with friends often and is usually out far past my bedtime and I can sleep just fine. DD on the other hand seldom goes anywhere except to work and during the day ventures out but tonight is at a gathering at a friends house. She is just a few blocks away and she is fine but she isn’t home yet and I can not sleep. I’ve been dozing off and on but every time I hear a car my eyes pop wide open.

Neither are drinkers and they are very responsible, why can’t I sleep?? Makes me wonder what I’ll be like when they eventually leave the nest. What age were your kids when you stopped losing sleep over them being out? What did you do to ease yourself into slumber in the meantime?

DD26 and DS22 and when they are staying at home and out for the evening, I still can’t settle. When my DD is at her own home and DD is at Uni, I am fine BUT my mobile is always on loud at night ‘just in case’.
The tables are also turning. I walk/hike a lot and my DD recently asked me to use apple’s find my family app. Apparently, she is worried I might fall and hurt myself. The indignities of old age are knocking at my door apparently .

 

[Poohlove]

DD26 and DS22 and when they are staying at home and out for the evening, I still can’t settle. When my DD is at her own home and DD is at Uni, I am fine BUT my mobile is always on loud at night ‘just in case’.
The tables are also turning. I walk/hike a lot and my DD recently asked me to use apple’s find my family app. Apparently, she is worried I might fall and hurt myself. The indignities of old age are knocking at my door apparently .

My mom hikes a lot and I have finally convinced her to tell someone when and what her plans are and she activates her find my friends app when she goes. Her Apple Watch also detects when she falls so we all feel better about it. I guess the worrying goes full circle so our kids can understand how we have felt all these years

 

[Welsh_Dragon]

My mom hikes a lot and I have finally convinced her to tell someone when and what her plans are

I quite like to wander at will depending on the weather, mud, other people etc.
What time is it where you are? What time are you expecting your DD to be home?

 

[Poohlove]

I quite like to wander at will depending on the weather, mud, other people etc.
What time is it where you are? What time are you expecting your DD to be home?

It is 3am here, she got home about 15 minutes ago but I am wired for sound haha. I’ve been doing some school work and perusing the Dis.

My mom lives in the White Mountains region of New Hampshire and she loves to hike. She makes us nervous because we know how the conditions can change quickly especiallyat higher altitudes and her sense of direction is the butt of many a joke lol. All kidding aside though, she is 65 and is in better shape than she has been over the 43 years I have been around. Aside from hiking she also bikes quite a bit, I hope that when I am her age I am able to do as much as she does.

 

[Carol_]

My kid’s 5. If he’s not home, I sleep.

 

[lorimay]

I remember those days

 

[Shellsbutt]

I’m not talking about overnights, etc. I mean when they go out. DS22 and DS20 both still live at home. DS hangs out with friends often and is usually out far past my bedtime and I can sleep just fine. DD on the other hand seldom goes anywhere except to work and during the day ventures out but tonight is at a gathering at a friends house. She is just a few blocks away and she is fine but she isn’t home yet and I can not sleep. I’ve been dozing off and on but every time I hear a car my eyes pop wide open.

Neither are drinkers and they are very responsible, why can’t I sleep?? Makes me wonder what I’ll be like when they eventually leave the nest. What age were your kids when you stopped losing sleep over them being out? What did you do to ease yourself into slumber in the meantime?

Oh god, I remember going through this with my older son about ten years ago- it truly sucks. At the time he was 18 and just starting to go out with friends. I couldn't sleep until I knew he was home. I didn't wait up in the living room but I would go to the bedroom and leave the door open so I could hear when he came through the front door. I would doze off because I've always been an early to bed, early to rise person. Sometimes I would get up and check the driveway for his car if I didn't hear anything and it was late. He didn't have a set curfew but he didn't go out every night. He left home when he was 23 and only lives 5 minutes away but I still worry about him, always will. My younger son is now 20 and he never leaves the house, covid or not. I'm going to be a basket case when he decides to actually go out and socialize. God help us all!

 

[mombrontrent]

My daughter is 18. My son is 21. They go out at all times of they day and night and I don’t lose any sleep over it. They both drive. My son I don’t ask him any questions about his coming or going, my daughter I might just ask her who’s she’s getting a ride home with or if she’s coming home if she’s out and I’m going to bed. Most nights I’m in bed and she’s still out, so I’ll usually just text her and say good night.

 

[Poohlove]

Oh god, I remember going through this with my older son about ten years ago- it truly sucks. At the time he was 18 and just starting to go out with friends. I couldn't sleep until I knew he was home. I didn't wait up in the living room but I would go to the bedroom and leave the door open so I could hear when he came through the front door. I would doze off because I've always been an early to bed, early to rise person. Sometimes I would get up and check the driveway for his car if I didn't hear anything and it was late. He didn't have a set curfew but he didn't go out every night. He left home when he was 23 and only lives 5 minutes away but I still worry about him, always will. My younger son is now 20 and he never leaves the house, covid or not. I'm going to be a basket case when he decides to actually go out and socialize. God help us all!

This is me!! I’m early to bed and early to rise and I don’t wait in the living room either. Our front door is very loud so that gives away when they come home. My daughter never goes anywhere either and last night was a rare case which is why I had such a difficult time sleeping. Ugh, letting them grow up is so hard

 

[Poohlove]

My daughter is 18. My son is 21. They go out at all times of they day and night and I don’t lose any sleep over it. They both drive. My son I don’t ask him any questions about his coming or going, my daughter I might just ask her who’s she’s getting a ride home with or if she’s coming home if she’s out and I’m going to bed. Most nights I’m in bed and she’s still out, so I’ll usually just text her and say good night.

It took me time but that’s where I am with my son. We are all very close so he always tells me as part of the conversation where he is going or the next day what they ended up doing. Very rarely do I get up looking for him or question what he is doing although a few weeks ago shortly after he got home he was going back out and I asked him where he was going because it was unusual. Turns out friends of his were in an accident and he was going to the scene to pick some of them up. I woke up because I heard him rushing around to get out the door.

 

[kymom99]

My son is 21 and when he is at school I don’t worry. He doesn’t go out much. At home he doesn’t go out a lot either but when he does, I worry. He Paul’s in the garage do I can’t look out and see if he’s home without raising the door and giving myself away. (garage is detached). We leave an outside light on for him but he sometimes forgets to turn it off.
Anyway I usually tell him text me if you aren’t coming home. And I often wait up till he gets home.

 

[mjkacmom]

17? They are my youngest. My young adult children will go out at 11 pm. Dd24 slept here last night (doesn‘t live here but ended up in our neck of the woods and didn’t want to drive a distance at 2:30 am), I saw her car this morning. Ds22 goes back to his apartment over an hour away tonight, he’s been here most of the time since May, hanging with his high school friends since graduating from college, never wait up. Dd19 is at college but when home she stays out very late, after 2 am a lot. My 17 year olds are supposed to be home at 11:30, I doubt that happens.

 

[pineapplepalms]

My kid’s 5. If he’s not home, I sleep.

How I miss an uninterrupted night of glorious sleep! Mine are almost 2 and 4 and I’m going to have a newborn soon. What is sleep?

 

[lanejudy]

DD hasn't reached that stage yet. But when my siblings and I were young adults, we were expected to be home at a "reasonable hour" as long as we lived in my parents house. While away at college, stay out all night every night if we so chose and managed to get studies done. But at home we either respected their rules or we could move out and support ourselves.

 

[AlohaNow]

Ah, I remember not really falling fully asleep until my HS freshman got home. He had mostly upperclassman friends who all had cars but he was really good about texting when he would be home. Then the next year he spent abroad as an exchange student. For 11 months I never knew exactly where he was, who he was with, or what he was doing. So when he came back for his junior year I figured, he was on his own for a whole year, I’m not waiting up anymore! DH keeps his phone on his nightstand with the sounds up, and DS17 knows to call that number should anything go awry while he's out. My phone is always on silent downstairs at night!

 

[LiteBrite]

DD is grown and married now, but when she was an older teenager/young adult living at home, our front porch light was visible from our bedroom window, so she would turn it off when she got home. Somehow that helped me get to sleep when she was out - I guess it was just somehow comforting that if I woke up later I could tell whether she was home or not without having to get up and check.

When she moved out I never thought about where she was at night, but when she moved back in the last year before she got married, I was right back to needing to know when she came in so I could relax, lol! What is it about that?