Sarah'sMomfrom PA
Welcomed Guest<br><font color=red>Mutters about dr
- Joined
- May 9, 2002
I used to watch Arranged and loved it and was sad when it ended. I have also watched Family Karma about Indian families some of which were arranged.
I've watched several seasons of "Married at First Sight" and their track record is OK, not fantastic. I think the problem with that show, and it has evolved over the years, is that they are picking people who would be a good story, not necessarily be good at being married. They also ply them WAY too much with alcohol - just my observation. Maybe this is just my 25 years of being married, but I can usually pick out the 1 or 2 couples who will be successful by the time they head off on the honeymoon.
Married at First sight I watch only for the train wreck (and yea that's bad lol) but really they honestly have a fairly awful track record.I've watched several seasons of "Married at First Sight" and their track record is OK, not fantastic. I think the problem with that show, and it has evolved over the years, is that they are picking people who would be a good story, not necessarily be good at being married. They also ply them WAY too much with alcohol - just my observation. Maybe this is just my 25 years of being married, but I can usually pick out the 1 or 2 couples who will be successful by the time they head off on the honeymoon.
I had a co-worker who was Chinese and had an arranged marriage. He met and got married to his wife in the same time period that I bought my wife's engagement ring and gave it to her (about 3 months). AFAIK, we are both still married.
Probably not, but if I'm still single in 10 years ask me again lol
I didn't do well at picking out my own husband so it's an intriguing thought.
There are match-makers (not just on-line dating apps) that offer in-depth, personal services and DON'T require you to actually marry the person. Maybe something like that would be worth considering.That is my feeling too. I obviously am not good at choosing so maybe a professional would be better. Of course it not something that I can really see myself doing.
I keep on thinking of the Ang Lee movie The Wedding Banquet where the parents of a closeted gay son offer to use a matchmaker to find someone. To try an make it impossible, he says his requirements are that she be someone tall, have two Ph.d's, speak five languages, and be an opera singer. A matchmaker finds someone close, but only with a single Ph.d. And she was set up by her parents to placate them when she hasn't told them she's in a relationship with a white guy.There are match-makers (not just on-line dating apps) that offer in-depth, personal services and DON'T require you to actually marry the person. Maybe something like that would be worth considering.
That's good because I (personally) have NO DESIRE to actually get married. At this stage in my life I don't see a point. It is not like we are going to be having/raising children. Anyway right now I am still not in a place where I can even consider trying any type of dating. It is just an interesting concept of having someone else picking a match for you. Still don't think it is something I could ever actually do.There are match-makers (not just on-line dating apps) that offer in-depth, personal services and DON'T require you to actually marry the person. Maybe something like that would be worth considering.
I think there are many people who would say the same thing but still have a vision for their lives that includes marriage and a family. Simply wanting to meet the right person doesn’t mean it always happens. If dating apps are appropriate, so are match-makers.Wouldn’t be a choice I would make. But I’ve also never been one of those people whose whole existence revolves around being in a relationship.
I don't claim to have extensive knowledge on arranged marriages, but I don't think a romance novel is the best of sources!I think in most cases I think you are right. In this book (I only began it a couple days ago) from what I understand - they will exchange a few emails and then head to the alter.
Yeah, the world is hard. Having parents who disapprove is one more obstacle to jump through.Oh yeah we've all had those concerns. Their entire relationship has been "we can't get married if his family doesn't approve"..so if they approve I can't see them treating her poorly (initially it was a rocky start in the introduction but they are ok now) BUT if they don't approve..that's when the rest of us are left wondering ok what now. It's a lot to have on one's shoulders for sure.
Ding-ding-ding! The winner. This is the best answer on this thread: for an arranged marriage to work, both parties would have to fully "buy into" the idea, and it does fly in the face of the typical American idea of how one meets /courts /decides to marry.For the average American who accepts popular American present-day notions of the point of being married, it usually would not work, not unless they were ready to embrace a different set of expectations for what the benefits of marriage are. This wasn't always true here, in fact, it has mostly only been that way for the past 100 years or so, but it's pretty well-entrenched through most of our culture.
Interesting. While this sounds awfully business-like, I do think most things in life go better when everyone is "on the same page" and everyone understands all expectations up front.Both sets of my grandparents had arranged marriages in a country where divorce was illegal. Photographs and a few polite letters were exchanged at the beginning of the "courtship", but that was it for prior contact. (These were farming families.) The expectations that they had were these: the women would get financial security and a home of their own, and the expectation of children to support them in their old age, and the men would get someone to have sex with and who would keep house for them., and who would attempt to provide them with children who would help to work the farm. I've seen the contracts. Personal hygiene is mentioned (a bath at least once per week), and how much money would be in the household allowance. It also provided for what percentage of the sale of eggs would automatically belong to the wife., over and above her household expense allowance. There was an expectation of mutual respect, but not of mutual affection.; they simply did not expect such a thing in their lives, and as far as I know, didn't really miss it, having never had it.
Yes, early in the Quarantine I got hooked on this show and binge-watched it. It's a definite train wreck, but I think those couples had some positives /some negatives in terms of being set up for success:Have you watched "Married at First Sight"? I think having cameras around and knowing everything is being documented would definitely be a "no" and would interfere with me actually getting to know the person.
Hmmm, where's the line between a set-up for a date and an arranged marriage? I think most of us (assuming we're single and "looking") would accept a set-up for a date, which is only a couple-hours commitment.My aunt did "arrange" for me to meet my husband back in 1987. We have been married since July of 1988.
I don't claim to have extensive knowledge on arranged marriages, but I don't think a romance novel is the best of sources!
I saw that and my heart broke for the Mom. I was so sad for her losing custody of her kids. I wonder what happened with that situation.Many of the Jewish sects also do arranged marriages (Hassidic, etc.). My husband cousins son, had an arranged marriage in 1990 and they are still married and have 5 kids. They never dated and were set up but they did see each other out in public bur really had no interaction whatsoever prior to marriage. There is a series on Netflix called "Unorthodox" about a girl who was set up in an arranged marriage. It is really interesting.