Anyone gotten married when they were "older"?

[AndreaDM]

I'm getting married sometime next year, time and place to be determined lol. I will be 52, he will be 48. We've both been married before and have kids, youngest just graduated high school. We don't need or want a huge formal affair, no church, no bridal party, etc. We also don't want a courthouse wedding, we want something more classy and intimate. So, we are thinking of a destination wedding, but in the states or a cruise, I like the idea of the wedding/honeymoon all being in the same place with only traveling and unpacking once. Some options we've tossed around are Vegas, Napa Valley (never been here so clueless), an Alaskan Cruise, Hawaii. It might just be the 2 of us, might have our kids come, might invite a few close friends, but in any case the guest list will be small and we won't invite any one out of obligation. That's what's great about being older, we can do whatever we want! Just wondering if anyone has any experience with this type of wedding and if you had any tips or advice.

 

[Klayfish]

I'm in the same age range as you and your fiance. I'm getting married at the end of October. I've been married before, she hasn't. I have three kids, she has none. We talked about a "destination wedding", but ultimately decided that we didn't want to have the family travel and incur all those additional costs. The wedding is going to be small, just my kids and her family. I guess you could still call it a "destination wedding", but it's close to home. We're going to a place in the nearby mountains. We'll arrive Thursday night. Friday will be a day to hang out and enjoy the day. Wedding will be Saturday at lunch. Short "reception" afterwards. A lot of family will go home that afternoon/evening. Fiance and I will get up Sunday morning and head to the airport for a short honeymoon on our own.

Congrats and best of luck!

 

[anniemae]

Congrats! Just went to a reception where the bride and groom were both in their 50's. They did a private ceremony with just them and immediate family a few days before the reception with a Justice of the Peace. They didn't want to have a big formal wedding and didn't want the whole church wedding. They had the reception at a local farm. It was beautiful, all done outside, very quaint. They want to honeymoon on a cruise, but are waiting to see what happens with cruising and covid.

 

[barkley]

Napa Valley (never been here so clueless)

just a head's up as someone born and raised there as well as a former wedding coordinator for a venue. be very cautious in researching what you perceive/desire in 'napa valley' as a destination for a wedding. outlying areas that in no way, shape or form resemble what people think of as 'the napa valley' market themselves deceptively ('the gateway to the napa valley' is a tip off) to lure bookings. these are in adjacent areas, some in napa county some just a mile or so off but a world apart in the look. napa proper (city limits) looks totally different than the vineyards up valley. what most people see on tv is actually in the outskirts of napa, yountville, calistoga and sonoma.

it's a stunning place but for your guests sake consider-lodging is not cheap/many places during what they perceive as peak times have minimum stay requirements, and car rental or airport transportation (and then local transportation) is a must (the closest airport in napa has no commercial flights, and next closest in santa rosa has almost none so people land in san francisco, oakland or sacramento so it's a trek to napa itself),

with any out of your home state wedding make sure to check on licensing laws. where i live now (washington) you can't get a marriage license and use it be married out of state. i think california still requires a face to face appointment to get one so that would have to be budgeted into your travel/stay time as well.

 

[AndreaDM]

just a head's up as someone born and raised there as well as a former wedding coordinator for a venue. be very cautious in researching what you perceive/desire in 'napa valley' as a destination for a wedding. outlying areas that in no way, shape or form resemble what people think of as 'the napa valley' market themselves deceptively ('the gateway to the napa valley' is a tip off) to lure bookings. these are in adjacent areas, some in napa county some just a mile or so off but a world apart in the look. napa proper (city limits) looks totally different than the vineyards up valley. what most people see on tv is actually in the outskirts of napa, yountville, calistoga and sonoma.

it's a stunning place but for your guests sake consider-lodging is not cheap/many places during what they perceive as peak times have minimum stay requirements, and car rental or airport transportation (and then local transportation) is a must (the closest airport in napa has no commercial flights, and next closest in santa rosa has almost none so people land in san francisco, oakland or sacramento so it's a trek to napa itself),

with any out of your home state wedding make sure to check on licensing laws. where i live now (washington) you can't get a marriage license and use it be married out of state. i think california still requires a face to face appointment to get one so that would have to be budgeted into your travel/stay time as well.

Thanks for that, it was actually last on my list. We want to vacation there sometime and he mentioned getting married there but any really nice place looks to be extremely expensive. If we went this route it would definitely just be the 2 of us.

I'm leaning toward Vegas or a cruise - which I discovered that all Princess ships are registered in Bermuda and the US recognized that as a legal marriage. I do NOT want to get legally married by JOP and then redo it at a destination, it will be a one time event.

 

[Julie's Haircut]

First marriage age 33
Second (and last) age 52

 

[Travel60]

I've been to similar in Asheville, NC...Grove Park Inn. Breathtaking. I think Biltmore Estate would be lovely, too. Lots of nicer resorts have packages or, you can rent a pavilion at a park near a resort. As mentioned though, check laws re marriage.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

DH and I were 37 when we married, so not entirely "older," and while not a destination wedding, ours was very small. In truth, it was my 2nd wedding and his 1st, but he wanted it small as well. Including us and our families, we had 55 people. We had both the ceremony and reception at a country club, all in the same room. The guests sat at their tables during the ceremony, then there was an hour break (cocktails and appetizers for them, photos for us) before we came back in for the meal and reception. Our wedding party consisted of DH's brother as his best man, DH's sister as my maid of honor (I'm an only child), and our nieces as our flower girls (they were 7, 5, and 4 at the time and so excited about a wedding, we had to include them ). I didn't even wear a traditional bridal gown - I bought a purple mother-of-the-bride gown off the rack for less than $200. For that matter, my SIL wore a black-and-silver knee-length "holiday party" dress that she bought on clearance at Dillard's for $30! So it was a nice small wedding and to this day, 10 years this year (!), we still have some of our people tell us how lovely it was.

That all said, we had discussed simply going to Las Vegas (which we ended up doing for our honeymoon anyway), but that would have crushed my MIL's feelings.

 

[prairie_girl]

I was 38 and DH was 37. Second for me, first for him. Neither of us wanted anything big or attention getting so we got married in my parents sunroom with immediate family there. An hour later we hosted an open house for invited friends and family. We requested no gifts, but of course some people just can’t do that. We then spent a few nights at a local hotel and were upgraded to a beautiful themed suite. The day after the wedding we went Boxing Day shopping lol

 

[barkley]

you can rent a pavilion at a park near a resort.

great suggestion! makes me think of how stunning our local arboretum is during multiple times during the year (fall is my favorite-the colors are stunning, our oldest had senior photos done there to take advantage of it). local arboretum is under parks and rec and can be used for a fraction of the cost of similar private venues.

 

[disneychrista]

No experience with weddings. My own or others. If I was to ever get married (unlikely) I would likely just ask one of the judges (I work at a courthouse) if they would do it. Quick. Simple. No frills. To me the marriage is way more important than the wedding.

 

[Lynne G]

I had a relative get married in her 50’s, a second marriage for both, and they eloped and got married in St. Thomas then held a reception back where they live for family and friends. She did not wear a wedding gown, but a beautiful dress that she wanted.

 

[RedAngie]

Second marriage when I was 51. A very low key ceremony outside in a park by judge friend of DH. Small reception for 24 in private room of restaurant.

 

[happybaker]

I got married a few years ago for the first time at the age of 47. He was 48, had been married before and has three kids. I wanted something small and that would allow us to enjoy the day. We ended up getting married in his brother's backyard (it was the house he had grown up in). We had another one of his brothers and my brother officiate the ceremony (it was official). There were more folks than I would have liked, but he has four brothers, most of whom have kids/spouses, his kids, and my family, so in the end I think we had about 50 people. We had it catered, bought the cake from a local bakery, and his stepmom bought the cases of wine for our gift. It was a great day with everyone just enjoying each other's company and the day, and relatively stress free. I would have been okay eloping, but he wanted family, so this small affair worked for me because i hated being the center of attention.

 

[Kittyblue]

A friend of mine had a small ceremony at a resort overlooking the beach in Hawaii. The only guests were their teen kids.

I think if I tie the knot again it'll have to be in Vegas for sentimental reasons.

 

[smilingmouse]

I got married on the Disney Fantasy in 2017. My first marriage, husband's second. I was 37 and he was 41. We were legally married by a DCL rep on the ship, before the leaving port, so the marriage was recognized/legal in the US. Ceremony was a couple days later at see. We had a group of 8 and us (10 total on board). Our brunch reception was a couple weeks later at the MN Science Museum in a private room. Not traditional necessarily, but perfect for us!

 

[mamamary]

Dbil got married last year. Bride and groom late 50s and both been married before. Was gonna be ceremony and reception at a local restaurant. I think they were planning about 75 people.

COVID hit and they had the ceremony done by a family friend. Then they had a reception at a later date once they could invite people. They had to have it outside at a relatives house. It wasn’t quite what they wanted but they had a great time.

 

[AndreaDM]

No experience with weddings. My own or others. If I was to ever get married (unlikely) I would likely just ask one of the judges (I work at a courthouse) if they would do it. Quick. Simple. No frills. To me the marriage is way more important than the wedding.

See I have no problem getting married by a JOP, but just not in a courthouse. I had a nasty divorce there, served jury duty there, had to be a witness to a custody hearing, so I wouldn't want to hold my wedding, no matter how small or simple at a place that has negative memories associated with it. I agree with the marriage being more important than the wedding, but I'd choose a simple park setting over a courthouse, to me that just says "legal business transaction".

 

[SandyinMonterey]

My husband and I got married in our mid 30's. We are both from NJ but living in California. All or our family lived in NJ. At first we were planning a wedding on the beach in NJ. I wanted something on the smallish size (80) but the list kept growing and we canceled it. Also considered getting married in Hawaii. Ended up getting married at WDW at the wedding pavillion. 20 people. Ceremony, reception, and dessert party in Epcot (Italy).

 

[nicolita3]

If I were to get married again, I got married really young, I would get married in Las Vegas. There are some really beautiful spots of all different price ranges for different party sizes.