Anyone else have a friend or friends that lives their life on line? and can't adjust to being out in the world...

[LovesTimone]

Not to this extent, but I have a friend who spends hours digging online and has become a full blown conspiracy theorist. She always leaned that way but it’s gotten much worse. We are retired but I have kept working as a sub. She quit. She is single with a couple adult kids. She basically has nothing to do and won’t go out and find something productive to occupy her mind. She digs into people’s business on social media, arrest sites, etc. it’s really sad.

We know a guy like this, some of the stuff is way way out there.... I will say that he has hit the mark on this thing with Russia, and Ukraine, and a few other things, he has been 100% right about...

 

[LovesTimone]

Going to Disney every 2-3 months isn't exactly a "recluse". And it's not like its a day trip, because she's staying at Disney's Fort Wilderness. Most people that drive their RV to Fort Wilderness stay for a week or two. So possibly a week or 2 every 2 months at Disney is pretty impressive.

I wouldn't call her a recluse. However. if she has always been polite and is now acting rude toward wait staff at restaurants that's concerning.

She brings her RV so that the dogs can come along,...she does go into the parks she is a AP holder like me, sometimes I meet her, if not she is solo... She can work from anywhere...

She has always been a people person, very outgoing...caring and respectful of others.. this is what is kinda throwing me, is her behavior...

 

[nw6675]

I choose to mostly isolate because the angry, irritated, bitter, mean, depressed people are everywhere out there in full force now. At church, in the schools, restaurants, Target...I am not scared to go out (been on many vacations during the pandemic), but I do not want to hear the hateful extremists on EITHER side.

People who used to hide behind their computers are now in the public acting the same way.

It is hard to be a moderate in this divided country. So, I stay home a lot.

Sometimes people should just be left alone. Otherwise, kindly check in and see if people can or want to talk about what is going on. Everyone has been impacted these last few years.

Just my opinion based on my area and what I experience.

 

[LovesTimone]

Working as a trauma nurse, she was probably used to barking orders to people who had to respond and obey quickly and efficiently without asking a lot of questions. Unfortunately, that may be the socialization that stuck with her.

She's an adult and she doesn't sound like she's related to you. You can try to gently suggest she talk to a professional as she seems not herself. But, if she's happy with who she is now and how she's living her life, there's not much you can do. Otherwise, ironically, you'd be trying to get her to do what you want, how you want her to do things - even if you mean well.

Thanks for bring this up, and I did think about it... she never has treated people like this, she has always been kind, thoughtful and respectful...
its the behavior and attitude, that is really throwing me.

If she wants to live on line, its not up to me to have a say one way or another... Still as her friend I am concerned about her well being...

 

[PollyannaMom]

She has always been a people person, very outgoing...caring and respectful of others.. this is what is kinda throwing me, is her behavior...

Brain tumor??

 

[DVC-Don]

My son's ex-wife lives through FaceBook. She has thousands of "friends" but no one likes or replies to her posts, and there are hundreds of posts by her weekly. She continually rails that people are rude to her.

 

[shh]

It is hard to be a moderate in this divided country. So, I stay home a lot.

'ain't that the truth!
Also very hard right now to find people who have manners, who understand and value a thoughtful, respectful debate, have any interest in keeping an open mind vs just talking to an echo chamber (heaven forbid they learn something new that may not align with their zeal) or even understand what a good conversation is.

 

[Colleen27]

I think the pandemic has had that sort of effect on a lot of people. Maybe not quite as extreme for most, but there sure seem to be a lot of people out and about who display less than zero patience and manners in their interactions with others. We all adjusted to more of our interactions being online out of necessity, but the problem with online interactions is that we can curate our experience to avoid ever being challenged or disappointed or otherwise out of control. If you don't like what someone says, block them; if a news article doesn't support your biases, find another site; if you want to buy something, it is just a click away and there's never any waiting in line or making small talk with a cashier. I think that's set up a situation where a lot of people are finding they just don't *like* real life, with its crowds and messiness and unpredictability, as much as they like virtual life. And I'm not really sure how we come back from that, on a societal scale, when many people really don't see the problem with their post-pandemic reality.

 

[LovesTimone]

I think the pandemic has had that sort of effect on a lot of people. Maybe not quite as extreme for most, but there sure seem to be a lot of people out and about who display less than zero patience and manners in their interactions with others. We all adjusted to more of our interactions being online out of necessity, but the problem with online interactions is that we can curate our experience to avoid ever being challenged or disappointed or otherwise out of control. If you don't like what someone says, block them; if a news article doesn't support your biases, find another site; if you want to buy something, it is just a click away and there's never any waiting in line or making small talk with a cashier. I think that's set up a situation where a lot of people are finding they just don't *like* real life, with its crowds and messiness and unpredictability, as much as they like virtual life. And I'm not really sure how we come back from that, on a societal scale, when many people really don't see the problem with their post-pandemic reality.

Well said...

I think it's what I like to refer to as "Point and Click Syndrome" and that goes along with a "Diagnosis of a Sense of Entitlement ".

For us we did not nor could not hunker down during the shut down, DH works in essential service, and I am my parents care giver, and they are both compromised health wise. I had to not only my own shopping but shopping for them, and hauling them to the doctors office...
So for us things were the same as in getting up and going everyday. No wandering around in PJ pants all day long, and No day drinking..

I will say that I had to keep my mouth shut and not burst into laughter, while I was out on Friday at Marshall's doing some last minute shopping, this young woman was having a full on tantrum with the poor cashier, she was returning something and I guess there was a issue, something about no receipt... I was standing at the cash stand next to her.... she was berating the cashier all while wearing a shirt that stated "Kindness is Free"... that was a head shaker for sure!

 

[kymom99]

Kids at school now come to school in pj pants. And no one seems to care. We used to have pajama day on special occasions. Now every day is pajama day

 

[TLSnell1981]

OP…I’m so sorry for you and your friend. It has to be painful to see such a drastic change. The lockdowns have had awful effects on so many. They will likely have a negative affect for a very long time. Some were and are so fearful. They’ve had difficulties emerging from their bubble. Hopefully she will eventually find the courage and confidence to return to the living.

 

[TLSnell1981]

Kids at school now come to school in pj pants. And no one seems to care. We used to have pajama day on special occasions. Now every day is pajama day

Most everyine in my family qualified as “essential”. I hated that terminology. It made too many feel “unnecessary”.I refused to give in even for a short time. Heck I’d plan on which outfit I was going to wear to the mailbox.…hair, nails, make up.

 

[kymom99]

Most everyine in my family qualified as “essential”. I hated that terminology. It made too many feel “unnecessary”.I refused to give in even for a short time. Heck I’d plan on which outfit I was going to wear to the mailbox.…hair, nails, make up.

For a long time, during Covid I kept believing it would be under control in a couple months. I couldn’t imagine our lives being shut down indefinitely. I tried staying optimistic even though I missed my friends and my regular life. But after a while I started getting used to wearing stretch pants all the time, although I did walk a lot. In a way I found it comforting seeing families walking together or playing games in their yards. I find myself sometimes looking back and thinking about how simple things were for a time. So I can certainly see where some people might struggle to return to pre pandemic society. My own husband, who is very introverted would be perfectly happy to stay home forever.

 

[TLSnell1981]

For a long time, during Covid I kept believing it would be under control in a couple months. I couldn’t imagine our lives being shut down indefinitely. I tried staying optimistic even though I missed my friends and my regular life. But after a while I started getting used to wearing stretch pants all the time, although I did walk a lot. In a way I found it comforting seeing families walking together or playing games in their yards. I find myself sometimes looking back and thinking about how simple things were for a time. So I can certainly see where some people might struggle to return to pre pandemic society. My own husband, who is very introverted would be perfectly happy to stay home forever.

I decided to wear a swimsuit instead of “normal” clothing to prevent weight gain. Didn’t work!

We live on small acreage thus the ability to get “out” even in local lock downs. We also had terminally ill and elderly family members. We decided to use precautions but not stop visiting. I am more than grateful we made that decision. We lost a few close family members…all non covid. I am very very thankful we made the choice.

 

[redrosesix]

Full disclosure...there are times that I have struggled with anxiety because there were so many real things in my life to be anxious about. Sometimes I retreated to my online world...which usually included one game or another...because that was the only way I could shut it off. And while I do actually have friends and colleagues that I have met online, there were many times I didn't venture out except for work because I had really lost my confidence and/or I really didn't want anyone to ask me how I was because I was not ok. I did eventually learn to shut things off better without retreating, but working from home has allowed me to choose when I go out and what I do when I go out. I only have PTSD now, and given what your friend did before she worked from home I would wonder about that....

Maybe your friend seems rude because she doesn't want to be social right now, or doesn't want to talk about feelings, or just wants to be accepted as she is rn.. I never was but I do have rl friends with PTSD who are rude at times eg. one guy nearly yelled at me for offering him a drive one night rather than letting him walk 11 miles to get home, because walking 11 miles while being alone was exactly what he had to do right then

My entire office has been working from home for the past 2 years and lots of people have told me how much easier it is for them to cope in this quasi virtual world...and I just nod and smile. I live in a great neighbourhood and I go for walks most days, usually alone, but I'm also starting work on my PhD and that is when I do my best thinking just before I start writing. Things were not ideal in most countries before the pandemic so doing history research has definitely helped me put things in perspective. I certainly don't plan on going to a mall or Walmart ever again in my life, but I was in a great antique store today.

 

[LovesTimone]

OP…I’m so sorry for you and your friend. It has to be painful to see such a drastic change. The lockdowns have had awful effects on so many. They will likely have a negative affect for a very long time. Some were and are so fearful. They’ve had difficulties emerging from their bubble. Hopefully she will eventually find the courage and confidence to return to the living.

Awww... Thank you....

 

[LovesTimone]

Full disclosure...there are times that I have struggled with anxiety because there were so many real things in my life to be anxious about. Sometimes I retreated to my online world...which usually included one game or another...because that was the only way I could shut it off. And while I do actually have friends and colleagues that I have met online, there were many times I didn't venture out except for work because I had really lost my confidence and/or I really didn't want anyone to ask me how I was because I was not ok. I did eventually learn to shut things off better without retreating, but working from home has allowed me to choose when I go out and what I do when I go out. I only have PTSD now, and given what your friend did before she worked from home I would wonder about that....

Maybe your friend seems rude because she doesn't want to be social right now, or doesn't want to talk about feelings, or just wants to be accepted as she is rn.. I never was but I do have rl friends with PTSD who are rude at times eg. one guy nearly yelled at me for offering him a drive one night rather than letting him walk 11 miles to get home, because walking 11 miles while being alone was exactly what he had to do right then

My entire office has been working from home for the past 2 years and lots of people have told me how much easier it is for them to cope in this quasi virtual world...and I just nod and smile. I live in a great neighbourhood and I go for walks most days, usually alone, but I'm also starting work on my PhD and that is when I do my best thinking just before I start writing. Things were not ideal in most countries before the pandemic so doing history research has definitely helped me put things in perspective. I certainly don't plan on going to a mall or Walmart ever again in my life, but I was in a great antique store today.

My family and I support our military, I can not Thank you enough for your service and sacrifice...