Any suggestions for getting over the "getting older (45) blues"

[Tink6666]

I will be 45 on Monday and have the getting older blues. I am just not excited about it. We have atrip to WDW in 2 weeks and usually I am planning and have a count down and super excited, but not this year...Any suggestions???

 

[twinboysmom]

Getting older is better than the alternative......have fun on your trip! You won't even think about it while you are there.

 

[southern_redhead]

I don't have any advice so I will just commiserate with you. I have been having a couple of rough years, myself. I turned 33 this May and realized that my life is NOTHING like I had hoped it would be. It is nice enough when looking in from the outside, but some pretty big things are missing. I had some long heart to hearts with my husband and we are working to get things back on track, so I feel somewhat better. I still get the "Oh cr@p, I'm 33!!" feeling every once in a while. Just yesterday, I was 19 and getting married or 21 and having my first baby......how did I end up in my thirties with a tween, a near tween, and a grade schooler? Where did that grey hair come from? Why is it so hard to lose 5 lbs all of the sudden? LOL

It just made me realize that I hit 30 without even blinking, 40, 50, and 60 aren't as far off as they seemed back when I was planning my life as a new wife/mother.

OTOH, PP is right. Live it up and have a big birthday. Remind everyone that 45 is a half milestone - and you expect presents that acknowledge it

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I don't let my age make me unhappy. It's a fact that can't be changed. It's nothing to hide or be ashamed of. I think what makes people unhappy is that they aren't where they think they should be by a certain age, as another poster stated. Last year, I was 45, unhappy with my weight and appearance and my DH was in a long period of unemployment. I couldn't do much about the economy in our area and I knew he was trying hard to find a job. So, I focused on what I could change. Starting on August 1, I changed my eating habits and exercised my power to make my own choices. It didn't matter if everyone else was eating cake. I didn't have to. The day before my 46th birthday in December, my DH was offered a fantastic job and I had lost over 40 pounds! Things were looking up! I stuck to my new eating habits and, as of this morning, I've lost 65 pounds! I had my unruly hair straightened and got a great cut and I'm much happier with my overall appearance. Last week, an old man tried to pick up on me at the grocery store! OK, so it was kind of creepy in a Hugh Hefner-type way, but I doubt he would have noticed me at this time last year!

Before the job offer, I was depressed because my kids wanted to know when and where our next vacation would be. I didn't have an answer for them. We had to save our extra money because we didn't know when more would come in. So, I focused on finding ways to create a vacation fund out of nothing. I did online editing, surveys, saved recycling, sold my knitted scarves and saved change. By the time my DH was employed again, I had saved over $2000 toward a trip to Disneyland. We were going to take the kids whether he had a job or not using the extra money I scraped up. I made it my mission to find ways to make extra money and it became like a game. By the time we leave next month, I'll have $4000 in my "fun fund" and we didn't use any money from our regular salaries. It was challenging, but I did it!

My point is to focus on what is making you unhappy and change the things you can change. The number shouldn't matter. Just focus on being the best 45-year old version of you. Maybe it means changing your appearance, doing something positive for your health, making new friends, taking on new activities, etc. Find something that makes you happy and go for it!

 

[Taja]

OP, I hope you'll be able to find what makes you happy and content at this stage in your life. Some introspection and minor course corrections can yield incredible results.

Quite honestly, I have had no issues with any of my milestone birthdays--much too busy! Apart from work (usually 60 hours per week), I also had to care for my parents beginning in my late 30s--I'm one of those late-in-life, completely unexpected, only children! There weren't many options available for their care apart from me.

That could be a clue--change the focus from you to those around you. Don't lose yourself in the process, just focus a bit more on family or others who aren't as fortunate as you are.

The alternative? Pamper yourself!

There is no right answer. Everyone is different.

 

[SKWDW]

I will be 45 on Monday and have the getting older blues. I am just not excited about it. We have atrip to WDW in 2 weeks and usually I am planning and have a count down and super excited, but not this year...Any suggestions???

First, Happy Birthday! Next, have fun at WDW! Then, think about setting up a Dr.'s appt to have your hormone levels checked. After ladies hit 40, hormones can start getting out of whack and can throw you into a funk.

 

[disneypolybride2008]

just remember how lucky you are to be "old," not everyone is that lucky.

 

[Minniemouse07]

My mom HATED every birthday when I was growing up. I can remember arguments that she had w/ my dad because she didn't want her birthday acknowledged and my dad brought her home a gift anyway.

At 39yo, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. One year later it had metastasized and was through her entire body.

Mom battled her cancer for 10 years. You can be sure that EVERY birthday was celebrated w/ much joy and gusto!... it was one more year that she had to spend w/ her friends and family.

She lost her fight the day after her 50th birthday.

I was 24yo when she died and I believe that having my mom relish and embrace every birthday for those last 10 years of her life gave me a positive and optimistic view for my future birthdays.

I will turn 44yo in November and I am eager to celebrate that day with my children and husband.

Enjoy and Embrace your 45th year. Hug your friends and family. Celebrate your life!

 

[7165red]

Minniemouse, I am sorry you lost your mother. I think your post should be an inspiration to all of us. To the OP, it happens to all of us, try to forget about numbers and think about how good you feel. Health is wealth.

 

[Ro Z]

I know it is a cliche but..........You are as young as you feel! Age is just a number (in my case a pretty big number52) Some days I feel way younger some days older but I try to enjoy life as it is now and not live in the past. Life is differant now but it is still good! I wish you a very happy birthday and I hope you get a lot older!! That goes to all of you out there!!

 

[Tink6666]

Thank you everyone for the posts, it has helped me get thru the past few days! I have begun to plan for our vacation coming up and will be celebrating my birthday when we get to WDW. My focus has changed to just enjoying the time with my kids, parents and husband!

Thanks again!!

 

[dzneelvr]

I have to challenge you as to why a number is so negative to youI lost my beloved dad at 59 and it was a hard way to realize that life is what you make it and live every dayGet out of your funk and forget about it! nobody cares. you are so very lucky to have what you have, do what you do, and STILL have money enough for a vacation at WDWI cherish each and every day and MY age is only a number

 

[bellebud]

Unless it's something hormonal (which someone else mentioned), I love what some others have said about taking the focus off of 'you', or reassessing any areas of your life you're unhappy with, etc. But if you look at your life and everything's really just fine, learn to count your blessings. We all certainly have our down days, but remember to *celebrate* that fact you're still here at 45 to be with your family. Look at your children and husband and really think about how lucky you are!

Have a wonderful 45th! And have a great time at Disney!

 

[The Hendies]

Happy Birthday!

It is just a number, but I hear you! I started a new hobby, began doing things for myself that I put off while the kids were young, and DH and I began making time for ourselves (yes, including trips to WDW, but we haven't had many trips without at least ONE 'kid' coming with us!)

Hope you have a great trip, and yes, do have a physical when you get back!

 

[GinnyEmma]

It is ok to have the blues. Take care if yourself, be kind to yourself and they will eventually pass.

 

[bellebud]

OP - one more thing... if it's hormonal... I always try to remember when I have my time of the month and occasionally get the blues, "this is my *down* time" - I'm feeling this way BECAUSE of my hormones and nothing else. Even though it doesn't make me feel less down, it puts it into perspective for me and I can almost laugh at it then.

again, Happy 45th, and I hope you get to enjoy at least 45 more!! Think of it that way. We are sooooooo very lucky to just have our health - keep reminding yourself of that.

 

[CandyMouse]

Happy 45th! I'll be 45 on Aug. 1st. I try to think of it as only a number, not to say that I never feel down or older on some days. My ds is 9 and I'm one of the older moms, but then I see how some of the younger moms act like they're so old and I don't feel so bad. Anyway have a Great trip and enjoy your B-day with your family!

 

[scrappinginontario]

Happy Birthday!! I turned 45 last week and am living life to the fullest!

Numbers can be rough but I've decided to look at it like there is still a ton of life in front of me so I want to enjoy living it rather than wishing I could change something I have no control over.

Hopefully your time at Disney and feeling like a kid again will help you over this hump. It's tough when birthday numbers hit you hard so hopefully this yucky time won't last long.