palavra
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2007
I like your perspective.
I agree with you two
I like your perspective.
I think the difference btwn this situation and another is "getting together" vs. "hosting". For instance, when mine and DH's families get together, we all bring something. The person whose house it is at is not hosting it per se, merely providing a location for everyone to gather. When a good friend/relative is having a birthday, and someone calls you up to say, "Hey, we're all getting together at X restaurant for Bob's birthday; want to come?" that's really not a hosted event. But if someone sends out invites, sets themselves up as hosting a party, it's not good etiquette to expect your guests to fund it (unless, of course, this is tradition among immediate friends and family, in which case it should only apply with those people, since there is a general understanding in place).
This is my take as well. We host an annual Christmas party and I never ask anyone to bring anything but if someone brings something anyway it's just that much more of a selection of food and I thank them kindly. My parents can no longer host the big family dinners we used to have so now my family does potlucks or pitch ins which are really get togethers for everyone to have a place to gather and eat together. For Easter, we "hosted" at our house because it is the most handicapped accessible for my Mom but I didn't feel obligated to provide everything - we had the ham and a couple of sides and everybody else brought something. Being invited to a birthday or some other clearly stated "party" event is a whole different situation and I think the OP was right to be offended.
Just yesterday we received an invitation for a high school graduation party, it had the information for the bank where the student had set up an "education fund". I have a son graduating from high school this year, I would never suggest/ask others to donate to his education.
Forgive my warped sense of humor, but feel free to use this if yours matches mine:Its just tacky to have an invited guest bring food or donate money.
Just yesterday we received an invitation for a high school graduation party, it had the information for the bank where the student had set up an "education fund". I have a son graduating from high school this year, I would never suggest/ask others to donate to his education.
I agree, but people's expectations seem to have increased in past years. When I was a kid, it was very common for people to have a cake-and-punch wedding reception; now just about everyone seems to have a meal. As a kid, I literally never attended a birthday party anywhere except a friend's home; my kids are rarely invited to an at-home party.I'm with the "host what you can afford" crowd. I'd rather be treated to a Costco cake and coffee then to have to spend $50. (bringing food and buying a gift) for a baby shower for someone's 4th baby in 6 years (not a different gender either).
I agree that it's all in the way that it's presented.But no one was "invited to a party" - just a bunch of us decided to do it. Big difference.