Actress Hillary Swank Pregnant with Twins at 48

[mjkacmom]

My SIL is 65 and has a 22 year old (bio) and 17 year old (adopted). She is the best mom ever, very involved in the HS marching band and choirs. She’s an artist (planned on being an art teacher but got into other things after college), a bit crunchy, and does a lot of costume making for her kids’ schools. She hikes a lot. She has a ton of energy.

 

[tzolkin]

they can all afford to hire help and/or breaks from childcare in the form of mother’s helpers, nannies, daycare, housekeepers, kids’ camps and other organized activities. I don’t imagine most of them would have been able to do that when they were just starting out. There are benefits to having your kids young, for sure, but there are also some benefits to having them when you’re older. Knowing what I know now, I would still chose to wait until I was older to have them.

I think this is true. Most people I know that are around my age (41) have babies or elementary school aged children, but mine are 16, 18, and 23. The moms I know now have nannies/daycare/activities/housekeepers/food delivery/etc. so they seem to be able to have some balance of their family and still some personal time/care. My kids never had a babysitter and I can count on one hand the number of times my mom watched them for us (for a special event) so I really had to be "on" 24/7. We simply did not have the money to go on date nights or couples vacations. If we had enough money for a trip, we always did something with the kids since our vacation time/funds were limited.

There are definitely benefits both ways, so it's completely a matter of personal preference. I'm happy I had my kids when I was younger because now we are still young enough to enjoy our "kid free" time. But I can see where others preferred having more freedom in their younger years and then have a family a bit later when they were more settled and secure.

 

[Mysterian]

I would have never had children if I had known this. My telomeres are very important to me.

Preach. Being protective of my telomeres is one thing's kept me from getting pregnant. That, and not having a uterus, but still.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Preach. Being protective of my telomeres is one thing's kept me from getting pregnant. That, and not having a uterus, but still.

Everyone’s laughing at my comment like I’m not 100% dead serious.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I think this is true. Most people I know that are around my age (41) have babies or elementary school aged children, but mine are 16, 18, and 23. The moms I know now have nannies/daycare/activities/housekeepers/food delivery/etc. so they seem to be able to have some balance of their family and still some personal time/care. My kids never had a babysitter and I can count on one hand the number of times my mom watched them for us (for a special event) so I really had to be "on" 24/7. We simply did not have the money to go on date nights or couples vacations. If we had enough money for a trip, we always did something with the kids since our vacation time/funds were limited.

There are definitely benefits both ways, so it's completely a matter of personal preference. I'm happy I had my kids when I was younger because now we are still young enough to enjoy our "kid free" time. But I can see where others preferred having more freedom in their younger years and then have a family a bit later when they were more settled and secure.

My neighbor is a SAHM of three. The two older ones are in school, but what’s funny to me is that she sends the youngest to daycare. And she has a housekeeper. I need to talk to my agent because I did not get as cushy a deal.

 

[fly girl]

33? Why, you were just a baby! I had mine at 36, 39, and the next one will arrive when I’m 42. While it’s true that I wouldn’t have the same energy I did in my 20s for clubbing into the wee hours of the night and then showing up without sleep for work the next day, fortunately parenting hasn’t required me to have that kind of stamina. And, part of the reason it’s been fairly easy is because I’m in a better financial position now than I was when I was younger (as is pretty typical for many people). I can be a SAHM now and I don’t have to try to juggle kids and a job, so I’m not stretched as thin and I can take a nap in the middle of the day if I had a rough night. That would not have been an option for me in my 20s as there was no way we could’ve afforded to live on one income back then.

That seems to be the general trend with the older moms I know. They either stay at home or they’re established enough in their careers where they have a lot of flexibility, if not outright own the business themselves, and they can all afford to hire help and/or breaks from childcare in the form of mother’s helpers, nannies, daycare, housekeepers, kids’ camps and other organized activities. I don’t imagine most of them would have been able to do that when they were just starting out. There are benefits to having your kids young, for sure, but there are also some benefits to having them when you’re older. Knowing what I know now, I would still chose to wait until I was older to have them.

Ha ha ha, I remember when I saw my chart, “Geriatric Pregnancy.” I certainly didn’t feel geriatric, but I got a chuckle.

I think the thing you are missing (from me, personally, although you said it’s not an attack it feels like it’s slightly starting to edge that way) is that I myself am an older mom. You’re 100% correct I was more financially stable then vs 25 (nor was I married yet!)
I have no qualms about anyone starting their family when they see fit. But for me, that would be hard at 48. I’m not speaking for anyone except me.

That’s where I think the disconnect is coming in play.

I even said on my first post I wished her all the best, and I meant it!!

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Ha ha ha, I remember when I saw my chart, “Geriatric Pregnancy.” I certainly didn’t feel geriatric, but I got a chuckle.

I think the thing you are missing (from me, personally, although you said it’s not an attack it feels like it’s slightly starting to edge that way) is that I myself am an older mom. You’re 100% correct I was more financially stable then vs 25 (nor was I married yet!)
I have no qualms about anyone starting their family when they see fit. But for me, that would be hard at 48. I’m not speaking for anyone except me.

That’s where I think the disconnect is coming in play.

I even said on my first post I wished her all the best, and I meant it!!

Definitely not an attack. I thought we were just having a discussion.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Babies also permanently leave behind DNA in the mothers body and it can affect her health for the rest of her life.

This is true. I developed a scallop allergy after my pregnancy, and we think it's because DS is allergic.


I had him at 30, and it felt like a good balance for me - waiting long enough to be "ready" for the lifestyle change, but still young enough to have a decent amount of energy.

I can see the appeal of waiting longer, though. I watched my friends' kids (now 7) a lot when they were toddlers, and I found I had more patience than when my own was that age for things like "I do it myself" and waiting out tantrums. (But maybe that comes from having been through it and looking back.)

Anyway, I hope everyone is healthy and I wish her the best!

 

[Mysterian]

Everyone’s laughing at my comment like I’m not 100% dead serious.

I guess it's unexpected to encounter someone who knowingly appreciates telomeres. They're the only reason why I ever drink kombucha (the high antioxidant levels are supposed to help lengthen telomeres).

 

[tzolkin]

My neighbor is a SAHM of three. The two older ones are in school, but what’s funny to me is that she sends the youngest to daycare. And she has a housekeeper. I need to talk to my agent because I did not get as cushy a deal.

Yup, most of the people I know where I live have a nanny or their kids go to daycare even if they are not working. This gives them time for errands, self-care, cooking, etc. Definitely was not something I ever could have imagined back when I had my kids in my teens/early-20s.

A major factor of course is the larger income after more years of working, but I also think part of it has to do with being older when they had their children. If you have been an independent adult with no children for a few decades, I think you likely have become accustomed to having some alone time for self-care or hobbies, going out to eat or on dates/trips with your spouse, etc. I was very young and didn't know any different, so going to the grocery store by myself on a rare occasion seemed like a treat to me.

 

[NotUrsula]

Just FTR from the minority POV, some of us didn't make a special effort to get pregnant in our mid-40's; it happens naturally with what might be considered surprising frequency, if you believe the medical literature. (FWIW, in my maternal line, it happens quite a lot. It has happened at least 2X in each of the last 8 generations in my mother's family that I know of. Believe it or not, we consider 30 years of living with minor kids to be a perfectly normal thing.)

At 45 and with a history of losses, the many extra doctor visits for my final pregancy often started out with the same farce; the nurse would come in, open the chart, and start maniacally searching for my "missing" IVF treatment records. I always had to explain that they were not there because they *really* didn't exist.

Also FTR, no nannies, no housekeeper. All just us, both working FT. We did send them to decent daycare centers and summer day camps, but I don't consider that unusual for a dual-income middle-class American family.

 

[mom2rtk]

My neighbor is a SAHM of three. The two older ones are in school, but what’s funny to me is that she sends the youngest to daycare. And she has a housekeeper. I need to talk to my agent because I did not get as cushy a deal.

Why bother at that point?

 

[cheeseplate]

Wish her and every mom to be the best health and happiness during their pregnancies.

 

[Lumpy1106]

I had two kids in my 30's and had my youngest when I turned 47. Hillary and the kids are going to be just fine - good for her!

 

[Buzz Rules]

Wish her and every mom to be the best health and happiness during their pregnancies.

Welcome @cheeseplate.

 

[CO2CA]

I think it's wonderful. The babies are wanted.

In school, maternal age seemed to correlate with children who were more gifted in terms of academics. I'm not sure if this because of additional considerations, like moms who were older had more time to devote to helping children with homework, had more disposable resources for learning aids, valued academics greater, or what-have-you.

And before anyone comes at me - I am not saying your kid isn't smart because you had him/her at 16. Correlation does not equal causation. I'm just speaking anecdotally about what the experience of myself and peers has been. Kids in the top 10% of each graduating class tended to have parents who were around 55-60 years old at the time of graduation.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I think it's wonderful. The babies are wanted.

In school, maternal age seemed to correlate with children who were more gifted in terms of academics. I'm not sure if this because of additional considerations, like moms who were older had more time to devote to helping children with homework, had more disposable resources for learning aids, valued academics greater, or what-have-you.

And before anyone comes at me - I am not saying your kid isn't smart because you had him/her at 16. Correlation does not equal causation. I'm just speaking anecdotally about what the experience of myself and peers has been. Kids in the top 10% of each graduating class tended to have parents who were around 55-60 years old at the time of graduation.

Oh, you’re going to get eviscerated.

 

[DLgal]

I think it's wonderful. The babies are wanted.

In school, maternal age seemed to correlate with children who were more gifted in terms of academics. I'm not sure if this because of additional considerations, like moms who were older had more time to devote to helping children with homework, had more disposable resources for learning aids, valued academics greater, or what-have-you.

And before anyone comes at me - I am not saying your kid isn't smart because you had him/her at 16. Correlation does not equal causation. I'm just speaking anecdotally about what the experience of myself and peers has been. Kids in the top 10% of each graduating class tended to have parents who were around 55-60 years old at the time of graduation.

It's likely just genetic. Older moms likley prioritized educations and a career and are highly successful, and found a similar partner.

It's kind of like the cluster of autism found around Stanford University in children who are the offspring of professors who teach there. Autism is a disproportionate diagnosis among children of high intelligence parents as well as older parents.

 

[cheeseplate]

Welcome @cheeseplate.

Thank you

 

[georgina]

This may be a dumb question but I thought I read that the trend of society is that women are having babies at a later age (30+) than a younger one (20+). So is it just becoming more common that women are having babies in their 40’s due to culture/medical advancements?

My mom was over 40 when I was born, and I’m 60. It was not that uncommon. I was not an oops, I think they were still trying for a boy, but after me the sixth daughter they gave up!