A WWYD Question - Teen Daughter and Friend $$$

[DVCLiz]

My DD15 and her close friend decided to have a babysitting "camp" this summer for the friend's younger sister and others in her age group. It was to be held at the friend's house. I spoke to the other mother at the beginning of the summer and told her that I was glad for DD15 to participate, but that I was not available that week. She was fine and said it was great to have it at her house, they had the room and the supplies, her younger daughter and her friends were the "campers, etc. etc.

They decided to charge a set amount per camper, and then deduct 15% from the total to repay the mom for the supplies and another 5% to the girl because it was held at her house. Totally fine with me. I know the girl is saving for a special event next year and this babysitting camp was a big part of that. (My daughter is participating in the special event too, but I am not requiring her to pay for any of it. That's beside the point but it might shed some light on the later situation.)

DD15 finally got her money today and it's almost $100 short from what she and I were expecting. In the car her friend said they had divided the money and then deducted for supplies, because it was her house "and because I got most of the people to come". I know the girls spent way more then they had budgeted for supplies - I gave the other mom $100 earlier in the summer and told her that I would rather have DD15 earn the amount she was expecting and to let me know if the $100 didn't cover the overage. In other words, I made an effort to square up the overage - which, by the way, the other mother should have controlled. She was the adult present and she could easily have said, "No, we aren't ordering pizza and paying for it as a treat on the last day", etc. She was the one who let them go over.

So now DD15 has less than she thought she had, and I feel a little like she got ripped off. It's not the kind of thing to make a stink over, but would you ask the other mom how they figured the money, or would you just let it go??

 

[Hannathy]

I wouldn't ask the mother anything BUT I would have my DAUGHTER ask the other girl to go over the expenses and figures from the camp. They should have done that anyway if it was a joint effort. She and your daughter should write everything out and look at how it was spent and divided. That is a very important part of an experience like this-the business end of it. It is her endeavor so her responsibility to speak with the girl. not the mothers.

It may cause some hard feelings but to be honest there are already hard feelings so it would be better to get it out in the open and deal with it rather than sit like an elephant in the room in the girls future relationship/friendship.

 

[kevschickee]

I would def ask the mom how she figured it out. If she is short $100 then she deserves it.

 

[surfgirl]

I think it is a good idea for your DD to get an idea of where the money went. However, I think it would also be a difficult conversation for her to have, so I've thought of a way around.

She should tell her friend that her dad suggested it would make a great essay for English class.... or 'what I did over summer break' .... or eventually for college applications. (make it come from her dad since you've already had involvement).

She should ask her friend for the details:
how many kids
how many days
hours
food included ? snacks ?
where was it at ?
how did they advertise ?
where there any problems collecting from the kids ?
how were fees set ?
was there a budget ? did they stick to it ?
what activities did they do ? where any fees included ? (ie. pool)

finally:
what worked well
what would they do differently
lessons learned

have her sit down, type up the details and then ask her friend to proof read them for accuracy. then keep this on your pc.

She *does* have the beginnings of a college essay and the details will get fuzzy later. It is also a very non-confrontational way of asking for the information.



just a thought... sometimes we need to use our smarts to get the information we want !