A Military Spouse

PrincessaC

Dreaming of Disney!
Joined
Jul 4, 2004
By Paige Swiney


" It was just another hurried Wednesday afternoon trip to the commissary. My husband was off teaching young men to fly. My daughters were going about their daily activities knowing I would return to them at the appointed time, bearing, among other things, their favorite fruit snacks frozen pizza and all the little extras that never had to be written down on a grocery list.

My grocery list, by the way, was in my 16-month-old daughter's mouth, and I was lamenting the fact that the next four aisles of needed items would be missed while extracting the last of my list from my daughter's mouth when I nearly ran over an old man. This man clearly had no appreciation for the fact that I had 45 minutes left to finish the grocery shopping, pick up my

4-year old from tumbling class and get to school, here my 12-year-old and her car pool mates would be waiting. I knew men didn't belong in a commissary, and this old guy was no exception.

He stood in front of the soap selection staring blankly, as if he'd never had to choose a bar of soap in his life. I was ready to bark an order at him when l realized there was a tear on his face. Instantly, this grocery isle roadblock transformed into a human...

Can I help you find something?" I asked.

He hesitated, and then told me he was looking for soap,

"Any one in particular?" I continued.

"Well, I'm trying to find my wife's brand of soap."

I started to loan him my cell phone to call her when he said, "She died a year ago, and I just want to smell her again."

Chills ran down my spine. I don't think the 22,000-pound Mother of all Bombs could have had the same impact. As tears welled up in my eyes, my half-eaten grocery list didn't seem so important. Neither did fruit snacks or frozen pizza.

I spent the remainder of my time in the commissary that day listening to a man tell the story of how important his wife was to him -- how she took care of their children while he served our country. A retired, decorated World War II pilot who flew missions to protect Americans still needed the protection of a woman who served him at home.

My life was forever changed that day. Every time my husband works too late or leaves before the crack of dawn, I try to remember the sense of importance I felt that day in the commissary. Some times the monotony of laundry, housecleaning, grocery shopping and taxi driving leaves military wives feeling empty -- the kind of emptiness that is rarely fulfilled when our husbands come home and don't want to or can't talk about work. We need to be reminded, at times; of the important role we fill for our family and for our country."

Over the years, I've talked a lot about military spouses...how special they are and the price they pay for freedom too. The funny thing is; most military spouses don't consider themselves different from other spouses. They do what they have to do, bound together not by blood or merely friendship, but with a shared spirit whose origin is in the very essence of what love truly is.

Is there truly a difference? I think there is. You have to decide for yourself.

Other spouses say good-bye to their spouse for a business trip and know they won't see them for a week. They are lonely, but can survive. Military spouses say good-bye to their deploying spouse and know they won't see them for months, or for a remote, a year. They are lonely, but will survive.

Other spouses, when a washer hose blows off, call Maytag and then write a check out for having the hose reconnected. Military spouses will cut the water off and fix it themselves.

Other spouses get used to saying "hello" to friends they see all the time. Military spouses get used to saying "good-bye" to
their spouses wondering if they will ever see them again.

Other spouses worry about whether their child will be class president next year. Military spouses worry about whether their child will be accepted or if they will get riticuled or teased when they cry because they miss their parent .

Other spouses can count on spouse participation in special events...birthdays, anniversaries, concerts, football games, graduation, and even the birth of a child. Military spouses only count on each other; because they realize that the flag has to come first if freedom is to survive. It has to be that way.

Other spouses put up yellow ribbons when the troops are imperiled across the globe and take them down when the troops come home. Military spouses hang a star in their window when their spouse is away, but wear yellow ribbons around their hearts and they never go away.

Other spouses worry about being late for mom's Thanksgiving dinner. Military spouses worry about getting back from Germany or Iraq in time for dad's funeral. The television program showing an elderly lady putting a card down in front of a long, black wall that has names on it touches other spouses. The card simply says, "Happy Birthday, Sweetheart. You would have been sixty today." A military spouse is the lady with the card, and the wall is the Vietnam Memorial.

I would never say military spouses are better than other spouses are. But I will say there is a difference. I will say that our country asks more of military spouse than is asked of other spouses. I will say, without hesitation, that military spouses pay just as high a price for freedom as do their active duty husbands and wives. Perhaps the price they pay is even higher. Dying in service to our country isn't near as hard as loving someone who has died in service to our country, and having to live without them.

God bless our military spouses for all they freely give. And God bless America.
 
Thank you very much for the lovely tribute you posted. I am a military wife and know all about the craziness and hardships this life entails. It is different from civilian life in some aspects and complete the same in other ways. I can say with a 100% proof that good military spouses are hard to find but when you find the good ones we stick through it all. Broken washers, car pooles, 3 kids (not me), full-time jobs, deployments, and anything else you can think of. I personally think that military spouses is what keeps the military running so smoothly but then again I'm a bit bias. I hope this doesn't get lost in all topics and debates going on here and people do remember to show their appreciation for the person behind the uniform, who probably was up late lastnight ironing it.

Army wife,
Tina
 
Crying now, but thanks for posting that...today marks the completion of month 3 of DH being gone...gee, only 15 more months to go, with a baby being born in the middle of that. :( But, I do what I have to do, and do it with pride, cause how else is everything going to get done? I am trying to teach my boys through this ordeal that attitide is a little thing that makes a BIG difference, and we are NOT going to feel sorry for ourselves all the time cause Daddy is gone. We're making the best of it.

Thanks again....
 
I'm not a military spouse but I will thank each and everyone of you for what you do for this country! Without your service and the service of your family we would not have the freedoms we have. I will always commend you for what you do. Every day is a risk to a life. Just the job the military is doing in Iraq speaks millions. Without their bravery, freedom would be lost. Thanks again to all of you! I cannot put into words my appreciation to these men and women! To the op I enjoyed reading your post.
 


That was such a touching story. I almost cried when I read the part about the old man. My husband served in Desert Storm and I had 3 children. Their ages were 11, 9 and 3 months old at the time. We live in a smalled town and my husband was about to get out of the army and so we had moved back home. When the war started his enlistment time got extended so he could serve in Desert Storm.

I know how it feels to raise your children by yourself, most of the time, and to sit at home or somewhere else wondering if your husband will come home to get to know his daughter (after having raised 2 boys). I believe that it is a sacrifice for both spouse and military personnel, but that is the life that we chose. So many people in our small town don't understand how you can stay married for 26 years, when your husband was gone for about half that time. But you do stay married and in some cases it makes your marriage stronger.

My husband will retire in 3 years and he has done a good job for his country and for our family.

Sorry so long and thanks for letting me share your story and mine.
 
Thanks for the kind words. It really means a lot. My husband is a Navy pilot and I have known both the dread and the pride that come with being his wife. I wouldn't give it up for anything in the world. My heart swells with pride when I really think about what my husband sacrifices for his job. All the birthdays, holidays, hugs from his boys, even the comfort of sleeping on his own sheets. Although I couldn't be prouder, I don't try to think about too often. The fear would get overwhelming....

Never show fear.
 
Another spouse saying hi and thanks for the beautiful post. I grew up in a military family (AF). Never realized what my mom went through and appreciate all the sacrifices she made for us. Then, I became a Navy wife and my mom said she has no idea how I am able to survive all the deployments, etc. At least dad was home everyday (with the exception of Vietnam). I truly cherish every moment of shore duty we have to spend together as a family. We are now 15 years into this and well past retirement time (hubby was in a while before we married). This is the only life I know. Wouldn't trade all my life's experiences for anything. The post brought tears to my eyes and it takes alot to do that.
 


Thank you so much for posting this tribute. I am a Marine Wife and do appreicate our differences being posted. It is really tough when your spouse is away & all of these emergencies happen around the house and vehicle.

I can tell you, I have become a pro at changing my own tire & oil in my vehicle; I can also unclog a sink, toilet, and any other thing that comes up. Sometimes, the military spouse does not have the luxury of paying someone to fix a quick fix, because we realize that the $20 could be spent on a phone card to hear our spouse's voice for a few moments when it is needed most.

I can also tell you the most awful felling is when your spouse is on a 6 month float and you find out in month 5 that your husband won't be coming home. There unit has been called to a Hot Zone & it is a matter of national security that your husband won't be home in time for your birthday, anniversary, child's birthday, etc.

Out of 10 years of marriage, my husband has made 2 birthdays, and 1 anniversary. Again, thank you for posting this lovely tribute!
 
That was amazing. Thank you for posting it.

I'm not a military wife, either, but THANK YOU to all of you that are or have been. You are special people!!
 
As another military spouse thank you...the poem is right...we stand by our spouse no matter what and realize that the United States and protecting our flag comes first no matter what, even before family. My hubby is gone right now and I miss him but me and my 3 kids, (9, 2 1/2, and 4 months) will be OK because I know when I go to sleep and say a prayer and look at the stars that he is too...and that everyone else can sleep tight knowing that our spouses will protect us.
 

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