2nd time bride... dress anxiety

[polynesianbride]

So ladies just needing a little pep talk here! I am a second time bride and my first marriage ended horribly so I tend to freak out about the whole wedding thing from time to time so bear with me. I have been engaged for almost 10 months... and I haven't tried on ANY dresses yet. We're having a really long engagement (our date is 12/6/2010) but my mom is wanting to go try on wedding dresses on Monday. The first time around I had a huge wedding (350 guests attended), the big white dress and the whole deal. The idea of doing that again makes me feel like vomiting so we're having a simple casual escape wedding... but the idea of putting on a wedding dress still terrifies me. Has anyone else felt this way? Plus I want to get a dress I love still but don't want to be considered tacky since it's my second time around. DF has never been married so I still want to look stunning for him. I have looked online at some dresses that are more "destination weddingish" but what if they don't look good on me? Also what if ivory doesn't look good on my skin tone- is it too tacky to wear white again? I don't plan on wearing a veil or tiarra even... just a few flowers in my hair. What is considered acceptable attire for an encore bride now?

 

[wdwfanatic316]

I think you should wear whatever you're comfortable in! If you find a beautiful dress you love, go for it! Maybe since you're having an escape wedding, something maybe a little simpler, like a sheath or A-line style would be beautiful AND make you feel comfortable. There are so many options that I'm sure you'll find something that's perfect for you!

As for the white or ivory question, I think ivory looks good on almost all skin tones, but don't feel like you can't wear white if that's what you like! It's you and your DF's special day, so go with what you love!

 

[Ember]

That only thing tradition says you shouldn't wear for a second wedding is a veil. So find something that makes you feel beautiful and go with it!

Besides, here's a little known fact: wearing white has nothing to do with virginity or purity. The custom started when Queen Victoria wore white to her wedding as a sign of wealth. Before that you would get married in what ever your best dress was. The idea of having a special dress for your wedding was something only the very wealthy did, however the dress was still worn again. A white dress was unheard of because it would be so hard to clean and therefore very impractical. Wearing one after the Queen did became a symbol of wealth and status that said not only can we afford a new dress, we can afford to basically waste money on something that is hard to clean and can't be worn very often.

So you show off your wealthy status and pick whatever dress you like!!

 

[acwinsett]

Yeah, I'm kind of having the same types of anxiety when it comes to "the dress" . . . as you already know from reading my planning journal

Here's a really great article from "I Do Take Two" regarding second wedding gowns that I found to be pretty refreshing:

http://www.idotaketwo.com/second_wedding_dresses.html

Hope this helps!

 

[DisneyDmbNut]

it is your wedding! Wear what you want and don't worry about what people think!!
I don't want to sway you..but my VR dress would look REAALLLLY pretty on the beach at the Poly!!
This is Alfred Angelo's destination collection..I was an 18 when I tried it on the first time..maybe a 20...I ended up with a 16 that was taken in another 4" it looked great in all the sizes!!!

I even ended up with the shoes the model wears..got them at JCPennys

 

[Chilly]

I say wear whatever makes you happy! Good luck finding your perfect dress.

 

[Wish on a Star]

I don't think you have to worry too much about tradition. So many girls wear ivory for their first wedding, why can't you can wear white again for your second wedding?!

My suggestion would be to see this as a fresh start... and make this the wedding of your dreams. Don't feel restricted by "rules" and good luck!!!

 

[honey2741]

Also what if ivory doesn't look good on my skin tone- is it too tacky to wear white again? I don't plan on wearing a veil or tiarra even... just a few flowers in my hair. What is considered acceptable attire for an encore bride now?

You are going to be a beautiful bride. If ivory doesn't look good for your skin tone, choose one that does. For me, tradition is out the window on certain subjects. To me that is someone else implementing their own ideas and telling me what to do. I'm traditional in some sense, but my advice would be "do what you want to do." If you want to wear white, go right ahead. Plus it's the first time you are marrying your fiance...so technically it would count.

As far as style of wedding dress for your beach wedding, I found a few dresses on the internet in my browsing that said it would look good for a beach wedding or comfortable. Remember, it is YOUR day and DH's, you are the only two who count. Make it your dream wedding and don't look to what happened before....this is your fairytale

 

[honey2741]

it is your wedding! Wear what you want and don't worry about what people think!!
I don't want to sway you..but my VR dress would look REAALLLLY pretty on the beach at the Poly!!
This is Alfred Angelo's destination collection..I was an 18 when I tried it on the first time..maybe a 20...I ended up with a 16 that was taken in another 4" it looked great in all the sizes!!!

I forgot to add...LOVE THIS DRESS!

 

[dmslush]

I was a second time bride, it was his first wedding.

I bought an ivory dress because I thought it would be tacky to wear white. It was a dress with no train, with some champagne coloring in it. The closer it got to the wedding, the more I hated the dress. I finally put it on and had my daughter take a picture of me in it. I looked at the picture and was HORRIFIED. It was not flattering and I was way to pale to pull it off.

So, I sat down and talked to DH. He told me I was crazy for not wanting to wear white. He also said that I was crazy for worrying about this being a second wedding. He told me that while it was my second wedding, it was his first. He said that he wanted to see his bride come down the isle in a flowing white dress. So, he and I went dress shopping together. He helped me pick out my dress. It was so much fun and I felt wonderful the whole day of the wedding.

Wear what feels good, what looks good, and what makes you AND your df happy. Don't worry about what others think.. if they are going to be catty, they don't need to be at your wedding.

 

[polynesianbride]

I think you should wear whatever you're comfortable in! If you find a beautiful dress you love, go for it! Maybe since you're having an escape wedding, something maybe a little simpler, like a sheath or A-line style would be beautiful AND make you feel comfortable. There are so many options that I'm sure you'll find something that's perfect for you!

As for the white or ivory question, I think ivory looks good on almost all skin tones, but don't feel like you can't wear white if that's what you like! It's you and your DF's special day, so go with what you love!

Thanks I think I may look for one of those two styles. I hope ivory looks good on me but my mom thinks if the ivory has any slight yellow to it it won't look good on me... guess we'll find out tomorrow!

That only thing tradition says you shouldn't wear for a second wedding is a veil. So find something that makes you feel beautiful and go with it!

Besides, here's a little known fact: wearing white has nothing to do with virginity or purity. The custom started when Queen Victoria wore white to her wedding as a sign of wealth. Before that you would get married in what ever your best dress was. The idea of having a special dress for your wedding was something only the very wealthy did, however the dress was still worn again. A white dress was unheard of because it would be so hard to clean and therefore very impractical. Wearing one after the Queen did became a symbol of wealth and status that said not only can we afford a new dress, we can afford to basically waste money on something that is hard to clean and can't be worn very often.

So you show off your wealthy status and pick whatever dress you like!!

Very interesting bit of wedding dress history! Thank you so much for this! Maybe I'll just include a little blurb in my program about this in case I do wear white so any nay sayers can be put in their place

Yeah, I'm kind of having the same types of anxiety when it comes to "the dress" . . . as you already know from reading my planning journal

Here's a really great article from "I Do Take Two" regarding second wedding gowns that I found to be pretty refreshing:

http://www.idotaketwo.com/second_wedding_dresses.html

Hope this helps!

Thanks Andreah! That helps alot! I love your dress that you got... when I read your PJ and it got me to thinking... maybe I shouldn't limit my options I was wondering if it was ivory or white but I guess it turns out either way seems "acceptable" You'll be my inspiration tomorrow!

it is your wedding! Wear what you want and don't worry about what people think!!
I don't want to sway you..but my VR dress would look REAALLLLY pretty on the beach at the Poly!!
This is Alfred Angelo's destination collection..I was an 18 when I tried it on the first time..maybe a 20...I ended up with a 16 that was taken in another 4" it looked great in all the sizes!!!

I even ended up with the shoes the model wears..got them at JCPennys

I do love your dress... thanks for letting me know who it's by... maybe I'll be able to try it on!

I say wear whatever makes you happy! Good luck finding your perfect dress.

Thanks for your support

I don't think you have to worry too much about tradition. So many girls wear ivory for their first wedding, why can't you can wear white again for your second wedding?!

My suggestion would be to see this as a fresh start... and make this the wedding of your dreams. Don't feel restricted by "rules" and good luck!!!

I never thought about it that way... I'm glad to hear this isn't so much of a "rule" anymore

You are going to be a beautiful bride. If ivory doesn't look good for your skin tone, choose one that does. For me, tradition is out the window on certain subjects. To me that is someone else implementing their own ideas and telling me what to do. I'm traditional in some sense, but my advice would be "do what you want to do." If you want to wear white, go right ahead. Plus it's the first time you are marrying your fiance...so technically it would count.

As far as style of wedding dress for your beach wedding, I found a few dresses on the internet in my browsing that said it would look good for a beach wedding or comfortable. Remember, it is YOUR day and DH's, you are the only two who count. Make it your dream wedding and don't look to what happened before....this is your fairytale

Thanks for the advice and support! I really hope that ivory looks good on me... I'll find out tomorrow!

I was a second time bride, it was his first wedding.

I bought an ivory dress because I thought it would be tacky to wear white. It was a dress with no train, with some champagne coloring in it. The closer it got to the wedding, the more I hated the dress. I finally put it on and had my daughter take a picture of me in it. I looked at the picture and was HORRIFIED. It was not flattering and I was way to pale to pull it off.

So, I sat down and talked to DH. He told me I was crazy for not wanting to wear white. He also said that I was crazy for worrying about this being a second wedding. He told me that while it was my second wedding, it was his first. He said that he wanted to see his bride come down the isle in a flowing white dress. So, he and I went dress shopping together. He helped me pick out my dress. It was so much fun and I felt wonderful the whole day of the wedding.

Wear what feels good, what looks good, and what makes you AND your df happy. Don't worry about what others think.. if they are going to be catty, they don't need to be at your wedding.

Thank you soooo much for posting this! It is good to know I'm not the only one who isn't thrilled with ivory... I know it's supposed to look better on fair skin but the first time around I know I tried on one ivory dress and thought... this does nothing for me I love your pics from your wedding with your dress blowing in the wind! Soooo romantic!

Well tomorrow is the big day (no not THE big day) but the big scary wedding dress shopping day! Thank you all sooo much for your advice and support! It was stressful enough finding THE dress the first time around that I just got stressed about finding THE dress that fit all the "rules" as well. I am a little excited now to know that I am not as limited by "rules" and hopefully I'll be able to relax a little, have fun, and find a dress I LOVE whatever the color or style. I did alot of looking online last night and found a dress I'm actually excited to try on- it's by Demetrios... and it's an actual wedding dress but the color is coral! Orange usually doesn't look good on me but I think this is gorgeous... maybe it took a different colored dress to get me over my wedding dress phobia. I don't think I would get the orange... even though it's beautiful but it comes in white and ivory as well. Hopefully we'll be able to find it tomorrow... atleast between this and the Alfred Angelo above I have a starting point. Thanks again!

 

[DisneyDmbNut]

my dress did come in ivory..but I think the white was stunning...and it has a built in corset..it was very comfortable but I did have to wear a bustier because I was too big to have cups sewn in

If you wanted the dress in a longer type, they did have a crinoline that goes under that dress to make it a full dress