12/09/06 Cruise Continued ~ Pirating Bananas DIS Geekorama Part 2 Part 11

[pyramid2000]

Karen these are great!

 

[BuzzBoyMom]

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order.

"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.
"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.
"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.

"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.
"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.
"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggy’s would like any dessert.

"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.
"I want a cheesecake," said the second piggy.
"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," exclaimed the third little piggy.

"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy, “But why have you only ordered beer all evening?"

The third piggy says in an annoyed tone, “Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home, don’t they?!!!!!!!!!”

Very cute!!
Glad someone else was in the mood to post jokes.

 

[MrsMork]

DrHug is working at the State Prison today. New experience for him. He did NOT like the hours. He had to be there at 7am, it is an hour drive. He is very accoustomed to the 9 am start times. He works until 8 or 9 so often that he has a hard time getting to bed before midnight or later.

 

[BuzzBoyMom]

That's it! We should wear the buttons on the CC cruise!

Umm...like????....ummmm....you mean you're not planning on wearing your buttons during this whole cruise?!!!

 

[Jhalkias]

Would it be rude to watch a show on my iPod during the Cheetahs?

Just checking . . .

John1

 

[klineyqueen]

Brandi - just be glad that you have enough buttons already!!!

Hey....you are the one who made the no underwear rule...not me!!! I was just pointing it out!!!!!

 

[Jhalkias]

Coming up, and I need to leave!

The Cheetahs are calling!

John1

 

[MrsMork]

Would it be rude to watch a show on my iPod during the Cheetahs?

Just checking . . .

John1

UUmmm. Let's see. YES!!

 

[klineyqueen]

I'm gonna clean out my joke in box....

here's one for ya John...
Christmas Demands!

Barbie's Letter To Santa:

Dear Santa,

Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAY BACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it).

So, here's my holiday wish list for 1998, Santa.

1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro up your butt?

2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin?!? It looks like cellulite!

3. A REAL man... maybe GI JOE. Heck, I'd take Tickle-Me-Elmo over that wimped-out excuse for a boy toy, Ken. And what's with that earring anyway? If I'm gonna have to suffer with him, at least make him (and me) anatomically correct.

4. Arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementioned Ken-wimp away once he is anatomically correct.

5. Chest (insert other B word) reduction surgery. I don't care whose arm you have to twist, just get it done.

6. A jog-bra. To wear until I get the surgery.

7. A new career. Pet doctor and school teacher just don't cut it. How about a systems analyst? Or better yet, a public relations senior account exec!

8. A new, more 90's persona. Maybe "PMS Barbie," complete with a miniature container of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a bag of chips, "Animal Rights Barbie," with my very own paint gun, fitted with a fake fur coat, bottle of spray on blood and handcuffs. How about "Stop Smoking Barbie," sporting a Nicotrol patch and equipped with several packs of gum.

9. No more McDonald's endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl.

10. Mattel stock options. It's been 37 years - I think I deserve it.

Okay Santa, that's it. Considering my valuable contribution to society, I don't think these requests are out of line. If you
disagree, then you can find yourself a new witch (insert other word) for next Christmas. It's that simple.

Yours Truly,

Barbie

I like your Barbie and Ken letters...they were funny!

 

[MrsMork]

Hurry, John1 has to leave

 

[Jhalkias]

One more . . .

Good luck to whoever gets it!

John1

 

[goofyforlife]

no extra activities tonight.......Yay..... Stay home in the rain...

 

[MrsMork]

Angie has to get to work or she gets CANNED!!

 

[87Heel]

I'll try

 

[Jhalkias]

OK, so I lied.

One more.

John1

 

[goofyforlife]

 

[MrsMork]

One more try.... 25, 26, 27,28,29,30,31,31,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40

 

[klineyqueen]

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later..."Da-ad..."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later... "Daaaa-aaaad..."
"WHAT??!!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"

Persistant little bugger..huh!

 

[87Heel]

and again

 

[Jhalkias]

Well, maybe one last try!

John1