RDR_BU
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2015
So a little over two weeks ago my wife told me that she wants a divorce. She said she is not interested in marriage counseling at all and is “done.” The divorce petition was filed this week.
I never knew that we had any major problems. Her main reason was that “she still loves me but she is not in love with me.” She says we have grown apart over the years, and I was not there in her time of need. The few examples of me not being there do not seem to rise to the level of getting a divorce. One example was from 5 years ago, another was from 2 years ago, and final example was from 14 months ago. She never brought these issues up to me.
The first week I was in complete shock and in a deep depression. I felt that I had failed as a husband. Since she had already ended it in her mind, there was no chance to change my behavior or make it up to her.
However, I found a new piece of information last week. When I reviewed her phone records (family phone plan) I saw a number that I had never seen. As I looked further, this number appeared 100s of times. That struck me as odd. I exported the phone detail to a spreadsheet and found that my wife had exchanged over 1,600 texts to this number. So when she arrived home from work, I ask her if she recognizes the number. Her face gets pale and she says “I have no idea whose number that is.” So then I show her a page of the phone records with texts to that number. She now responds with “that is weird. I will need to check into that.”
Since she is playing dumb I go ahead and call the number. A man answers the phone. I tell him I noticed the phone number in my phone and asked him to identify himself. He hangs up immediately. My wife then tells me that he is just a friend. The texts are harmless. So I ask her to show me some of the texts but she of course refuses.
She finally admits that the guy works for her company. She begs me not to tell anybody because it could jeopardize her job. She said that “I can see how someone would think something is amiss but there is nothing to it.”
Each person I tell about this thinks that something is definitely going on between the two. Some say she is taking the easy way out by not trying to work it out. She has been exhibiting many of the signs noted for affairs. I am not sure if this is just an emotional affair or all-out affair.
Who send and receives over 1,600 texts in a month to a friend!? Am I wrong to think that she should confess so I can have closure?
I never knew that we had any major problems. Her main reason was that “she still loves me but she is not in love with me.” She says we have grown apart over the years, and I was not there in her time of need. The few examples of me not being there do not seem to rise to the level of getting a divorce. One example was from 5 years ago, another was from 2 years ago, and final example was from 14 months ago. She never brought these issues up to me.
The first week I was in complete shock and in a deep depression. I felt that I had failed as a husband. Since she had already ended it in her mind, there was no chance to change my behavior or make it up to her.
However, I found a new piece of information last week. When I reviewed her phone records (family phone plan) I saw a number that I had never seen. As I looked further, this number appeared 100s of times. That struck me as odd. I exported the phone detail to a spreadsheet and found that my wife had exchanged over 1,600 texts to this number. So when she arrived home from work, I ask her if she recognizes the number. Her face gets pale and she says “I have no idea whose number that is.” So then I show her a page of the phone records with texts to that number. She now responds with “that is weird. I will need to check into that.”
Since she is playing dumb I go ahead and call the number. A man answers the phone. I tell him I noticed the phone number in my phone and asked him to identify himself. He hangs up immediately. My wife then tells me that he is just a friend. The texts are harmless. So I ask her to show me some of the texts but she of course refuses.
She finally admits that the guy works for her company. She begs me not to tell anybody because it could jeopardize her job. She said that “I can see how someone would think something is amiss but there is nothing to it.”
Each person I tell about this thinks that something is definitely going on between the two. Some say she is taking the easy way out by not trying to work it out. She has been exhibiting many of the signs noted for affairs. I am not sure if this is just an emotional affair or all-out affair.
Who send and receives over 1,600 texts in a month to a friend!? Am I wrong to think that she should confess so I can have closure?
I had a great one and she was very reasonable. Granted I had a very simple divorce, but it could have gone bad and she knew how to stop that before it started. 
