Peanut free classroom this year...

[Fingerpaints]

I have a kid with some pretty diverse allergies. He reacts to all food dyes and colors. He just started school this year. I am that mom that requires the school to make accommodations for him. I require the school to not feed him anything I didn't personally pack for him or give them for his classroom snack in advance. I require that they give me advance notice if another parent is bringing in special treats for a party or such so that I may provide an approved alternative (for my son). I require that they monitor my child at meal and snack times that no other child offers him anything that isn't approved. He is really very good at knowing how badly it makes him feel and will ask or tell and adult that he cannot have any food that has dye. However he is still very little and learning and I don't know that he wouldn't take an M&M from another kid.

It does make him very sick, unpleasantness spews from both ends and he has some pretty horrid and noticeable behavioral changes. While his allergist and I don't believe it is likely he will have any anaphlatic reactions he did say it is possible. We are just so lucky and grateful is isn't something that is a deadly allergy to anything!! What do you do in those situations? You do you best.

OP I am sorry that your child is being held in "solitary confinement" even though I don't think I would choose to call it that, I think I would use learning experience or exercise in diversity. I don't know if I missed it, but has your child expressed his feelings on the matter? I know my oldest probably wouldn't care but my middle may be slightly annoyed if it were them. Perhaps the another classroom teacher would be willing to take a few of the students to lunch with her class daily so that they could all rotate through and have the experience of going to the lunch room? Maybe they could have some cool lunch time activities that the other classes don't get like getting to watch a movie during the meal time? That way it's special and not a like a punishment.

 

[mrs.beast]

Kinder teacher here. In the last 10 years I have had 6 kids with severe peanut allergies. so severe that breathing, touch etc can send into shock. we have a no nut room, but nut free tables for lunch for the rest of the school I cannot count the number of times last year alone, where I had 2 severe cases and 2 mild cases in my room, where kids came in with peanut butter on their faces or clothes. Our kids are 1/2 day and ate lunch at home so we did not have to worry about food (families provided snacks for the whole class to share off of a list from us) at school, but I was constantly washing faces, hands, and cleaning clothes.
It does not matter if a room is nut free, or a school. Families send kids with nut infested hands faces, etc to play on the structure, come in the room etc. they let them use nut infested hands to look at library books and homework folders (i have had them come in with gobs of peanut butter before). in all, a nut free classroom is good in theory, but almost impossible to have. I think I used more antibacterial wipes last year than they stock at walmart at a time, but still never felt that my room was clean enough.

 

[melancholywings]

I would not be happy as a parent. I think schools are responsible to provide a safe area for children with special needs to be able to eat with in those needs, but I don't agree that a school has the right to dictate what all the other parents feed their children. It would be impossible and unrealistic for them to bag check every kids lunch - when peanut products are used in so many things. Giving the child a safe and resonable place to eat is more realistic.
Also making hand washing sinks accessable in the lunchrooms & classrooms would help.

 

[JackJack08]

I would not be happy as a parent. I think schools are responsible to provide a safe area for children with special needs to be able to eat with in those needs, but I don't agree that a school has the right to dictate what all the other parents feed their children. It would be impossible and unrealistic for them to bag check every kids lunch - when peanut products are used in so many things. Giving the child a safe and resonable place to eat is more realistic.
Also making hand washing sinks accessable in the lunchrooms & classrooms would help.

You are correct-teachers can't check every kids lunch. That is why they are counting on you to be a responsible parent, have a little empathy and pick something besides PB for your kids lunch. How can we expect kids to treat others with respect and caring, when the parents can't?? I have packed my kids lunch EVERYDAY for years.....no PB (or nut products of any sort) in my kids school. And guess what....the kids don't care....it is always the parents that turn a mountain into a molehill. And I really don't think, that the school is trying to dictate, what other parents feed their kids. They just want you, to put yourself in the other parents shoes and do what you would want for your child. Some people, just have a hard time doing that, if it doesn't affect their kid. Sad but true.........

 

[melancholywings]

You are correct-teachers can't check every kids lunch. That is why they are counting on you to be a responsible parent, have a little empathy and pick something besides PB for your kids lunch. How can we expect kids to treat others with respect and caring, when the parents can't?? I have packed my kids lunch EVERYDAY for years.....no PB (or nut products of any sort) in my kids school. And guess what....the kids don't care....it is always the parents that turn a mountain into a molehill. And I really don't think, that the school is trying to dictate, what other parents feed their kids. They just want you, to put yourself in the other parents shoes and do what you would want for your child. Some people, just have a hard time doing that, if it doesn't affect their kid. Sad but true.........

But it's not about sympathy, it's about being realistic. The teachers can't check every kids lunch, and there are parents out there who can't check either. In my school there are many parents who only speak and read spanish. So it's a flawed system to count on and assume that every lunch being sent into the class room is peanut free. Or that every overworked, under paid parent out there checks every label they bring home because a kid in their school may have an alergy that they have no real education about.
I think a alergy free school is the schools way of avoiding a possible lawsuit by pushing the responsibility of that child's welfare onto all the other faceless families. Because if a child is that deathly alergic to something it's irresponsible to risk the chance of death just in an effort to protect that child's feelings.

 

[JackJack08]

But it's not about sympathy, it's about being realistic. The teachers can't check every kids lunch, and there are parents out there who can't check either. In my school there are many parents who only speak and read spanish. So it's a flawed system to count on and assume that every lunch being sent into the class room is peanut free. Or that every overworked, under paid parent out there checks every label they bring home because a kid in their school may have an alergy that they have no real education about.
I think a alergy free school is the schools way of avoiding a possible lawsuit by pushing the responsibility of that child's welfare onto all the other faceless families. Because if a child is that deathly alergic to something it's irresponsible to risk the chance of death just in an effort to protect that child's feelings.

Empathy...not sympathy...big difference. A peanut free school, is not the school boards way of avoiding a lawsuit, it is their way of avoiding a child dying over something so stupid. Yes...stupid. I think that you aren't giving parents enough credit. Just because they are overworked and under paid, doesn't mean they are ignorant.
I don't know what the right answer is. All I know, is that a little boy in my DS's class, Jake, is very allergic to peanuts. Do I want to be the cause of something happening to the little guy....no. So i don't send nut products. It is very simple. Would I want his family to do the same for my son....of course. It isn't rocket science people....just peanut butter. With ALL of the choices of food we have in this country, I can't believe this is an issue. Many kids, in many parts of the world, haven't eaten today. And they won't eat tomorrow. I just don't get it.

 

[Tiffany_MommyOf3]

Truthfully, I have enough to worry about with my own children that I dont worry about other peoples kids. I dont think an entire school/classroom should be forced to change their entire year over a kid or two? I have sent other things with him for lunch in the past, and all have come home untouched (or picked at). I'm NOT going to force him to eat something he doesn't want to eat. I think the only true solution would be to have a special class (like they have gifted and special needs classes) just for kids with allergies..

 

[Fingerpaints]

I think its very sad as a society that most people seem unwilling to be the village and help raise the world we wish we lived in. Oh well. I am not so unrealistic to think one thread on one message board would change anyone's mind though.

It's just very humbling as a parent to have to ask for help from others and to be met with such disgust is very dis hearting. I don't think that the parents of the children with allergies are plotting ways to exclude and punish other children. It's more of just not having a better way to make sure EVERYONE is safe. How do you think the kid to ate the peanut butter sandwich would feel when they gave their friend and hug and then watched them have a dramatic life threating reaction because of it? I know my kids would not handle that well. I honestly don't think any one wants to impede on anyone's right to feed their child peanut butter. Maybe someone will invent that whole plastic kid bubble here soon.

 

[cosmicdaisy]

Truthfully, I have enough to worry about with my own children that I dont worry about other peoples kids. I dont think an entire school/classroom should be forced to change their entire year over a kid or two? I have sent other things with him for lunch in the past, and all have come home untouched (or picked at). I'm NOT going to force him to eat something he doesn't want to eat. I think the only true solution would be to have a special class (like they have gifted and special needs classes) just for kids with allergies..

I can't really believe you don't worry about other peoples kids. I have to believe you were in the heat of the moment and aren't really that self absorbed, and also teaching your children through your actions to have no compassion for others.

You may not think that an entire class or school should be forced to change, but the law sees differently. Schools are required, through the Americans with Disabilities Act to amend the school day as they see fit to make it a safe environment for every child with a disability, which includes Food Allergies, sometimes other types of allergies, asthma, diabetes, etc.

Unlike gifted classes and special needs classes, where children are grouped together that are on a similar intellectual level, food allergy students probably run the gamut on that.

I think a good solution would be tolerance, awareness, education, and compassion.

Have you asked your DS how he feels about it? Does he know what peanuts could do to another child who has a food allergy? I think if a child understood, even on a basic level...that you wouldn't have to force them to eat something else.

I've said before, I have found classmates to be far more accomodating and understanding toward me DD's allergy than adults.

 

[Tiffany_MommyOf3]

I can't really believe you don't worry about other peoples kids. I have to believe you were in the heat of the moment and aren't really that self absorbed, and also teaching your children through your actions to have no compassion for others.

You may not think that an entire class or school should be forced to change, but the law sees differently. Schools are required, through the Americans with Disabilities Act to amend the school day as they see fit to make it a safe environment for every child with a disability, which includes Food Allergies, sometimes other types of allergies, asthma, diabetes, etc.

Unlike gifted classes and special needs classes, where children are grouped together that are on a similar intellectual level, food allergy students probably run the gamut on that.

I think a good solution would be tolerance, awareness, education, and compassion.

Have you asked your DS how he feels about it? Does he know what peanuts could do to another child who has a food allergy? I think if a child understood, even on a basic level...that you wouldn't have to force them to eat something else.

I've said before, I have found classmates to be far more accomodating and understanding toward me DD's allergy than adults.

I've seen classes where there were multiple grade levels and it worked

I've taught my son to have compassion for people, but not to the point where it interrupts you entire year!

I have told my son and he was fine with not taking PBJ but he said that he would just eat his fruit. I'm not gonna let my 5 yr old go without a meal.

 

[Nancyg56]

Perhaps this is a good time to talk to them about having empathy for their fellow students. They may become kind of protective over their fellow student with the allergy. Kids need to learn to be tolerant and this could be a good example. They are looking out for this friend and don't want he/she to become sick. Sometimes uncomfortable, or unfair situations, teach us valuable lessons.

When Kady was diagnosed she was in Kindergarten, it was a huge change for her. Somehow her classmates got involved in her allergy, and started checking her snacks to make sure they were "safe". 1st grade was the same, she is very good about the food she can and cannot eat but her classmates would ask if they saw something that was changed, they also ask their Moms to remember Kady on special occasions. Now in 2nd grade, her teacher is addressing food allergies Monday evening at open house. There are several children with allergies in her classroom and she wants to let parents know how her kids are affected. The children adapt and make sure their friends are safe, and so far in this school system at this age level the parents are all supportive of the children. This school system has not needed to become reactive because each level, administration, parents and children, have been proactive.

You are correct-teachers can't check every kids lunch. That is why they are counting on you to be a responsible parent, have a little empathy and pick something besides PB for your kids lunch. How can we expect kids to treat others with respect and caring, when the parents can't?? I have packed my kids lunch EVERYDAY for years.....no PB (or nut products of any sort) in my kids school. And guess what....the kids don't care....it is always the parents that turn a mountain into a molehill. And I really don't think, that the school is trying to dictate, what other parents feed their kids. They just want you, to put yourself in the other parents shoes and do what you would want for your child. Some people, just have a hard time doing that, if it doesn't affect their kid. Sad but true.........

Sad but true. Each time I see a thread like this I can see my DH cousin's little girl telling us that she thinks her classmate should eat alone, after all she is the one who has the allergy. I asked her how she would feel if she had to eat all by herself every day. That was when Mom said she will not deal with food allergies:the end. Kady was sitting right there and experiencing a totally different atmosphere in school. One cold and hard and punitive, her's full of caring and compassionate adults and children.

Truthfully, I have enough to worry about with my own children that I dont worry about other peoples kids. I dont think an entire school/classroom should be forced to change their entire year over a kid or two? I have sent other things with him for lunch in the past, and all have come home untouched (or picked at). I'm NOT going to force him to eat something he doesn't want to eat. I think the only true solution would be to have a special class (like they have gifted and special needs classes) just for kids with allergies..

When I was in school my next door neighbor was born with severe handicaps. He used crutches to get around, he was "different". At that time children who were "different" were not mainstreamed into the general school population, they were kept segregated. His Mom was one of "those" Moms, Tommy was the first child mainstreamed in our town and my goodness, what a commotion she caused! I know that there were many accommodations made for kids back then that were not made because of any laws in place, but becasue those changes were the right thing to do. We all benefited from that little rebellion on behalf of Tommy. Some parents were horrified, their children should not have to see that there are kids who have challenges, but those comments faded as more and more children came into school.

What you are suggesting is no different than the archaic thinking of 50 years ago. Keep those kids away from my kids, they are the different ones. Caring about others is what makes us strong as a community, asking our children to take a little care so that a classmate does not suffer is not a big deal for kids, it only becomes a problem when their parents complain.

It is true that no environment is completely safe for children with a life threatening allergy, no one knows that better than their parents as they send their kids off to school. They must trust that small children will make good choices, that the adults they are entrusted to will watch out for them and that the parents of classmates will at least have a little care before sending their own children to school. The argument that since no environment is completely safe so no compromise should be made is like tossing the baby out with the bathwater. It makes no sense to me.

 

[cosmicdaisy]

Well said Nancyg56. I wish I could have been as eloquent.

 

[Nancyg56]

Well said Nancyg56. I wish I could have been as eloquent.

We are so thankful that Kady's allergies are managed mostly by what she eats. We have been told that her egg allergy seems to be affected by eggs being cooked so we need to be aware of her then, but we do not really do not encounter the day to day stresses that children with airborne allergies must think about.

I believe that Kady is fortunate becasue her school system has been able to address each child as an individual and then make plans to safeguard that child. Parents and teachers are supportive so there is no need for strict rules to be created and enforced. More has been accomplished on behalf of the children due to cooperation, respect and compassion. A learning opportunity for all of us and thankfully our school community took advantage of it.

 

[DVCJones]

I love your sarcastic attitude. At home, my son eats pretty much anything.... at school he only wants PBJ. Im more concerned for him than other peoples kids. My family shouldnt have to change for someone else. The kids need to be taught how to deal.

There is a reason why elementary schools are peanut free. Most children are too young for that responsibility. You can't trust a 5yo to know where every possible risk is. Most schools give up the peanut free zone once children reach middle school. By that age, children know how to stay away from peanut products.

My DD's school is TOTALLY peanut free. She cannot even bring in a snack that has been packaged in a factory that processes peanut products. Even if it is "peanut free" This means I can't send her to school with animal crackers if the box says "may contain traces of tree nuts" The school even sent home a list of packaged store bought snacks that is acceptable for school.

My DD just started K this year. She does not have allergies of any kind and is a very picky eater. I was a little concerned with what I was going to feed her. It turns out, it is not a big deal. After looking over the school menu for the month, there are several days when I know she will eat the school lunch. Pizza day, chicken nuggets, french toast stick...etc. on other days I can send in soy butter and jelly sandwiches. I also bought a Foogo thermos. It keeps food warm for 5 hours. it is great for mac & cheese, soup, pasta, chicken nuggets, etc.

I just feel that I am very lucky to have children who are not allergic to anything and I would never want to harm anyone's children because I can't /won't make the effort. I also would want my child to be safe in school if they were the one with the allergy.

It truly is not the big deal I thought it would be.

To the OP...maybe your school should go totally peanut free. That way everyone can eat in the cafe.

 

[crisi]

The problem with peanut free schools is two fold.

1) It provides a false sense of security. Sometimes grandma packs lunch and doesn't know. Sometimes Devon had peanut butter toast for breakfast and made a dart to the bus without washing.

2) Its a bad slippery slope. Ban peanuts today and a parent who has a child allergic to eggs can now ask for the same for her child. The child whose asthma is kicked off by cat dander can start demanding a "dander free zone" (asthma still kills more children than peanut allergies in the U.S.) The one whose kid is allergic to bees can insist all the children sit in for recess so her child has no chance of getting stung and doesn't get left out. Personally, I don't think we like where we end up if we go down that path.

 

[1hero2princesses]

I think someone needs to lobby for more peanut free or safe snacks that kids can eat (that are not made in facilities with peanuts). My kids go to a peanut free preschool. None of my kids have any allergies so we are lucky. The list of things we are allowed to bring in for snacks is so small at this point it is crazy. They keep cutting things and cutting things (mostly I think because the things are being made in facilities with peanuts). In some cases I have had to go to three stores to try to find the specific things. My son is supposed to bring a birthday treat in a few weeks. We are down to either rice crispy treats (which is hates) or popsicles (which I know some moms might not love their kids eating) but I really don't have any other choice. He begged for brownies but I have to tell him no, there is no safe form of them. I really wish there were more peanut free choices. The cupcakes from home are a thing of the past...

 

[eclairemom]

I think this is ok, but what I don't like is that this child's mother is the only one who is providing snacks for the class - I can't even send in birthday treats for my son, despite it being ok in the school to do it.

One of the kids in DD's preschool has severe allergies and either the mom or dad is always there for birthday parties or holiday parties to make sure their daughter doesn't eat anything she shouldn't they also bring her own cupcake so she doesn't feel left out. The school is peanut free anyhow this is just an extra step they take. You should be able to bring your own treats as long as they don't have peanuts or peanut butter in them.

I'm actually shocked because DD is in her third year of Pre School, both Schools have been peanut free as well as her Ballet Studio and Gymnastics Center, I would think that this would be the norm these days.

My friend had some yummy sunflower butter she gave to her boys when they were under 2 I don't know the cost, but it would be a good option and is not a peanut or a tree nut.

 

[imthatgirl]

there is another reason that schools are going peanut free, and its not just to appease parents. schools dont allow children to carry epi pens, they could be considered a "weapon". so whats a school to do? either they let them carry the pens or they ask the other kids not to bring peanuts.
personally i would prefer a bunch of 5yos not be carrying the pens.

i would think if there were another child in the school with an epi pen for another allergy the school would also ask that that item not be allowed in the school. i think other allergies is few and far between so thats why the arguement always comes back to peanuts.

another allergy that is commom is bee stings. i know when my daughter was in kindergarten her class didnt get outside recess because there was a little boy who was allergic to bee stings. i didnt see it as a big deal then, and i dont see it as a big deal now. they had to think about that childs safety.

 

[Miss LD]

I think someone needs to lobby for more peanut free or safe snacks that kids can eat (that are not made in facilities with peanuts). My kids go to a peanut free preschool. None of my kids have any allergies so we are lucky. The list of things we are allowed to bring in for snacks is so small at this point it is crazy. They keep cutting things and cutting things (mostly I think because the things are being made in facilities with peanuts). In some cases I have had to go to three stores to try to find the specific things. My son is supposed to bring a birthday treat in a few weeks. We are down to either rice crispy treats (which is hates) or popsicles (which I know some moms might not love their kids eating) but I really don't have any other choice. He begged for brownies but I have to tell him no, there is no safe form of them. I really wish there were more peanut free choices. The cupcakes from home are a thing of the past...

I don't see how not being allowed brownies or cupcakes is a big deal. Peanuts or not.
As I said earlier, our school has asked that if we want to do something in the class for a birthday it should be something like stickers or pencils.
We don't have severe food allergies, but we avoid sugar, nitrates, etc. It's not comparable to a peanut or other allergy, but I still want to monitor as much as I can.
Even if you're not dealing with an allergy, you may be trying to eat organically, be avoiding food dyes, vegan, kosher etc etc.
To me this makes so much sense.

 

[SnoWhiteRabbit]

At home, my son eats pretty much anything.... at school he only wants PBJ. Im more concerned for him than other peoples kids. My family shouldnt have to change for someone else. The kids need to be taught how to deal.

Kids need to be taught how to deal? 'The kids' with life threatening medical conditions, but not your kid? Hmmm...