The DDA Trouble Free Zone Part 22

[Tammi67]

and to everyone. I'm heading to bed. Have a good night everyone.

 

[babytrees]

So, we had some not so great news around here yesterday. My BIL called Kristi around 11am yesterday and asked her to come pick him up at work. Apparently, the car dealership has decided to lay him off. He was the customer service manager at a local Toyota dealership. The craziest part was that just the day before, he had been told to submit his ring for a new diamond as he had earned the Manager's Excellence Award again this year.

From what I am learning, dealership manager jobs are pretty volitible, but it was still a shock. Today would have been his 3rd anniversary at the dealership and he got the Manager's Excellence Award either 2 or 3 of those 3 years.

The good thing though is that we are hearing from others in the business that it is usually pretty easy to find a position at another dealership around here. Now Chris just has to decide whether to stay in the car business or look elsewhere. He has already gotten 2 calls from people he either worked with or who knew of him there with job offers or leads.

The worst part, though, is that Kristi is scheduled to have surgery on her wrist at the end of March. She has had surgery twice for a giant cell tumor in her wrist and it has grown back again. Until they do the procedure, her bone will continue to weaken and fracture.

Okay, sorry, enough venting. Luckily, it looks like Chris should be able to find something soon so hopefully there won't be any issues.

oh my!!!



for your family!!

 

[my3princes]

Evening all.
I finally got a picture of the front yard.
Let me know if it don't show up.
I'm going to catch up.

Very nice. It looks like you've put in a lot of hard work out there

Work was slow tonight. We have a huge storm coming and it is supposed to start around midnight. I guess most people were already hunkering down. We could get 18 inches of snow then turn to a wintery mix. My mother's school has already cancelled for tomorrow, but so far the boys still have school. I suspect that I will end up with all 5 kids home if we get the storm that they are predicting.

 

[my3princes]

Has anyone heard from Janet? I was wondering if she made it safely?

I found out tonight that I will be training for the waitress job next Monday night. I suspect that I won't need or get a lot of training as I've been there so long I've pretty much done it anyway. So Jen you can worry about the job fair and I'll be worrying about training I hear that misery loves company.


Tia, I'm surprised that the Toyota dealership is cutting back. They keep expanding and hiring more people here. They've been at the current location for less than 10 years and already have plans to double in size very soon.

 

[babytrees]

so we had parent teacher conferences for Abi after work. Told us nothing new....we all knew she was brilliant.

Then we headed to the mall for supper and to see if they had shoes for me and pick up Jim's gift certificate he won.

Welllllllll: After almost $90 I got a pair of brown and black shoes.

http://www.famousfootwear.com/product.asp?product_id=1011129&variant_id=40017

and

http://www.famousfootwear.com/product.asp?product_id=1009902&variant_id=33840

Usually only Eurostep's fit so finding another brand that fits is wonderful.
This is one of the downsides of only having one pair of every color of shoes (other than CROCS!! )

 

[babytrees]

Jo your yard is very pretty...but I would expect nothing less from you.

 

[my3princes]

so we had parent teacher conferences for Abi after work. Told us nothing new....we all knew she was brilliant.

Then we headed to the mall for supper and to see if they had shoes for me and pick up Jim's gift certificate he won.

Welllllllll: After almost $90 I got a pair of brown and black shoes.

http://www.famousfootwear.com/product.asp?product_id=1011129&variant_id=40017

and

http://www.famousfootwear.com/product.asp?product_id=1009902&variant_id=33840

Usually only Eurostep's fit so finding another brand that fits is wonderful.
This is one of the downsides of only having one pair of every color of shoes (other than CROCS!! )

I love them both. They are cool looking too. Will you have to hide them to keep the girls from borrowing them?

 

[Steffy]

Well, it has been fun to post today. I have to go back to work tomorrow. I owe, I owe, its off to work I go....

Tia, that really rots about your BIL.

Jo, so good to see you. Love the picture.

Channon, what page are the wedding dress photos on? I missed them.

Vicki, I hope Katrina has her luggage.

And I have a confession. I've been cheating again over on the resturant boards. Anyway, a poster there spoke about her poultry allergy. And mentioned that there was nothing that she could eat at LTT. Even the side dishes are cooked in turkey broth and the rest of the food is cross contaminated. I am viligant at stating my DGS's peanut allergy, but never note on my ADRs about my DD's poultry allergy. She just orders something not chicken.

We ALWAYS look at ingredients for my DGS, but never thought about the bases for soups or sidedishes for my DD. I'm going to call LTT tomorrow and see if they can accomondate her or if we should change the ADR to Chef Mickey's, Kona Cafe or 'Ohanna's. The ADR is for our arrival day, so I liked the idea of LTT. She doesn't want CP or 1900 PF. I don't want Tony's or CRT. My son says just tell him where and when.

So 59 days to go and it's a new ball game. I have planning to do! Arrangements to make!! Trip stuff. Woo Hoo!!

 

[babytrees]

I love them both. They are cool looking too. Will you have to hide them to keep the girls from borrowing them?

nope....I've got boats for feet....Cassidy's are a bit smaller and Abi is a half size smaller than Cassidy. One good thing about having the size feet I do!!

 

[ReAnSt]

nope....I've got boats for feet....Cassidy's are a bit smaller and Abi is a half size smaller than Abi. One good thing about having the size feet I do!!

I like the shoes.

If I recall correctly then I must wear cruise ship size shoes. I wish I wore your shoe size. Finding a size 11 or 12 shoe is pretty darn hard, and sometime depending on the brand the 12's are tight.

 

[babytrees]

If I recall correctly then I must wear cruise ship size shoes. I wish I wore your shoe size. Finding a size 11 or 12 shoe is pretty darn hard, and sometime depending on the brand the 12's are tight.

I'm not much smaller (9 1/2 or 10 depending on the shoe) and I have a heck of a time finding any shoes so I can feel your pain...but just a little.

Where do you usually shop and what brand fits you the best??

 

[ReAnSt]

I'm not much smaller (9 1/2 or 10 depending on the shoe) and I have a heck of a time finding any shoes so I can feel your pain...but just a little.

Where do you usually shop and what brand fits you the best??

Anywhere and everywhere, I am always on the lookout for shoes. I might find something one time at a place that fits and I might go back and find nothing. It is so hit and miss and drives me bonkers. I've been looking at internet sites recently that offer free shipping both ways because I most likely will have to return something, but I am not even seeing things I like.

At shoe places I feel like I walk all over the entire store to see the maybe 3 things they have in my size. I really wish all shoe places would organize things by size, some do, I know it doesn't make as nice of a display but it would sure make it easier to find the size you are looking for.

 

[babytrees]

Anywhere and everywhere, I am always on the lookout for shoes. I might find something one time at a place that fits and I might go back and find nothing. It is so hit and miss and drives me bonkers. I've been looking at internet sites recently that offer free shipping both ways because I most likely will have to return something, but I am not even seeing things I like.

At shoe places I feel like I walk all over the entire store to see the maybe 3 things they have in my size. I really wish all shoe places would organize things by size, some do, I know it doesn't make as nice of a display but it would sure make it easier to find the size you are looking for.

That drives me bonkers too!!! I tried on 5 pairs of shoes tonight and only those 2 fit. I can't wear high heels because of my knees and I have odd shaped feet so add my size and it eliminates 90-95% of the store!! So tonight was a great night in being able to find 2 pairs.

 

[babytrees]

I think I am heading to bed.

Vicki...I hope the suitcase made it's way to FL tonight.

For everyone else .

Good night!!

 

[tmfranlk]

Has anyone heard from Janet? I was wondering if she made it safely?

I found out tonight that I will be training for the waitress job next Monday night. I suspect that I won't need or get a lot of training as I've been there so long I've pretty much done it anyway. So Jen you can worry about the job fair and I'll be worrying about training I hear that misery loves company.


Tia, I'm surprised that the Toyota dealership is cutting back. They keep expanding and hiring more people here. They've been at the current location for less than 10 years and already have plans to double in size very soon.

I don't think they are cutting back so much as replacing managers slowly. They got a new general manager six months to a year ago and he's been replacing a few managers here and there as time goes on. Chris didn't really like the guy so he's not all too disappointed about not working for him anymore. My mom has several friends with husbands in the car dealership business around here and this seems to be a fairly common occurance. New guy comes in and slowly changes over most management positions. Crazy, but I guess you learn to cope with it if you stay in the business.

I forgot to add that Kristi does have a back up plan. She figures that they can just fit her with a hook if needed and she can dress as Capt Hook anytime she needs a costume. The tumor is odd as it is usually hits people around 40...she is 28 and has been dealing with this for over 3 years. She basically has a big hole in her bone and is convinced in her own "my crazy sister" kind of way that they will just need to amputate and give her a hook soon. That's not anywhere near the case, but Kristi is a little bit of a drama queen. (And that may be an understatement.)

 

[tmfranlk]

Sorry guys, I just realized that this post got a little out of control. Please don't feel that you have to respond or even read it. I think there was something cathartic about getting if into words instead of it just tumbling around in my head on it's own. I'm going to leave the post as is as a kind of therapy for myself and on the off chance anyone has a thought. Thanks for letting me take up some space....cheaper than a therapist I guess.



I am at a loss and could really use some advice if anyone has some. Hopefully I can explain well and succinctly enough to be understandable. (Okay, I just read what I wrote and it is kind of long, but hopefully it makes some sense.)

In college I dated a guy very seriously for a little over a year (he was also my first and only serious boyfriend before I met Phil). When J broke up with me, we decided to stay friends and I felt like he was one of my best friends for several years. At the same time, we weren't always very good at being "just friends" even, to my great shame, into the first few months of him starting to date his next long-term girl friend. After that, it was very hard for me to get him to back off even though he was getting pretty serious with her. (He was very good at having sympathetic reasons as to why it would be "okay" if I would give in.) During those few years we were friends, I would often take issue with how he wanted our friendship to proceed (somewhat normal guy-stuff about not wanting to talk on the phone unless it was something he was interested in, I always had to be the one to call or email, etc - somewhat of a one-way friendship it seemed alot.)

When I first started dating Phil, the relationship did not go over well with J and I took a lot of flack for what he perceived as moving too quickly. When we got married in Vegas, J gave me trouble for not telling him so that he could be there (um, hello, my parents were only there by chance - the Vegas wedding, not the church wedding with family a few months later). He and his girlfriend did come to the family church wedding.

When we moved back to Boston J's girlfriend lived not too far away from me. About a year ago, maybe more, they broke up after almost 5 years for several reasons including him cheating (several times) and him not being willing to commit more permanently. A few months later J decided that he had made a mistake and tried to get her back. She had finally started getting over him and wasn't ready to go back right away. She asked for some time and space to work things out. He basically refused and kept calling and emailing. By this time the xGF and I were riding the same train to work often and would sit together and talk some. As the months passed he was getting more and more insistent that they talk and wasn't altogether nice about it. In the end, it resulted in what I would consider stalking or at least pretty close to it. (She had gotten a new job in the city of Boston and moved closer to it without giving him info as to where on either count. He used "sources" to find out where she worked and called her there a couple of times. There was also a instance with a previous girl that wasn't handled very nicely either, but never got as bad.)

As he finally started backing off on her, J started getting upset with me because I hadn't "been there" for him enough when he was so upset about the breakup. When she wouldn't get back together with him, I tried talking to him but he was a wreck and often wouldn't talk much. As I was now married and had a child, plus work, it was hard to catch up with each other much. Then, when he wouldn't back off of xGF I told him that I didn't like how he was handling things and that he needed to leave her alone. In the end, it resulted in J deciding that I had betrayed him and was now on xGF side.

After a few borderline-harassing emails from him, I basically tried to break off the friendship altogether. (In hindsight, this is something that I should have, and wanted to do, several years ago. It was just easier to stick with the status quo.) I got a few more emails about how there was too much history to just end things like that. Thanks to the friendships I found when we moved to CA and again here with this group, as well as the renewing of some high school friendships, I came to realize all of the shortcomings in J's and my friendship. Through personal growth I also came to realize some very controlling and degrading aspects of our relationship (they were supposed to have been "jokes", "just the way he was" and "not to be taken personally" even though they were directly about me) that I had been too blind and naive to see before. These two things added to his behavior in the past year, told me that I really needed to break loose for good.

When I tried to say this as delicately as it can be (without anything accusatory as he was admittedly starting to scare me a little bit after some of the xGF things) it did not go over well. In the end, I left it with the excuse that with our move, job change and a bunch of other personal issues I was working on that I would consider things and I would contact him if and when I thought that I could or should.

Since then, I have gotten an email from J almost monthly. Every time he tries to guilt me into contacting him including playing on the past, threatening to contact family and friends to find me, and other things that make me feel uncomfortable. I got the latest email 2 days ago. Before that it had been Thanksgiving and every month before that since June. Everytime an email comes I get a little freaked out and don't know what to do. I don't really want to contact him, but at the same time, I don't want to feel his way every month for who knows how long. Should I contact him and then slowly back away without anything confrontational? (Probably what I should have done from the beginning, but didn't know it would go this far.) Do I keep ignoring the emails? I get too afraid of not reading them in case there is something that I should know (threat or otherwise as I have felt some emails come close to at least suggesting threats, though as to what I do not know). Do I take the chance to respond with just a simple note to say that I can't talk to him? The only thing that I do know is that I cannot be friends going forward. I also know that if we were still living in Boston, I would probably be even more concerned due to proximity as he lives in NY and his parents live in Boston and Cape Cod. The problem is that I don't have any proof that there is something to worry about, just the feeling that things would not be good if I were to run into him.

Sorry guys, I know that posting just went out of control. Please don't feel that you have to respond or even read it. I think there was something cathartic about getting if into words instead of it just tumbling around in my head on it's own.

 

[tmfranlk]

And with that soul cleansing, I am going to bed. Good morning DDA!

 

[babytrees]

Sorry guys, I just realized that this post got a little out of control. Please don't feel that you have to respond or even read it. I think there was something cathartic about getting if into words instead of it just tumbling around in my head on it's own. I'm going to leave the post as is as a kind of therapy for myself and on the off chance anyone has a thought. Thanks for letting me take up some space....cheaper than a therapist I guess.



I am at a loss and could really use some advice if anyone has some. Hopefully I can explain well and succinctly enough to be understandable. (Okay, I just read what I wrote and it is kind of long, but hopefully it makes some sense.)

....

Sorry guys, I know that posting just went out of control. Please don't feel that you have to respond or even read it. I think there was something cathartic about getting if into words instead of it just tumbling around in my head on it's own.

I am so sorry for this. I think I would back off and keep ignoring the emails. I just don't know other than passing on more of these

 

[Tammi67]

Tia - My advice is to have nothing to do with this guy. I wouldn't even open the emails. Just delete them. That way you don't have to deal with the guilt. This has trouble written all over it. He has major issues. I know he was once a very important person in your life, but now it seems like his friendship can only mean trouble.

 

[Tammi67]

Good morning. This is Virginia today

. The good news is that it is warm!

Deb - I hope you don't get all the snow that they are calling for!