You WILL follow the plan, or ELSE, ha!!

[The 6 J's]

Have yall encountered this subversive behavior? And how did you handle it?

Bet you didn't realize when you started this thread that you were volunteering to have your parenting skills, choices and family all analyzed and evaluated.

The way I do it so as not to come off as too overbearing/controlling/commando-ish/freakishly detailed/obsessed is to not have a full-on written plan. I'll just have ADRs and which parks on which days figured out. Then we go along with my mental plan of how to start and then we adjust. As we go through the day someone will say "Oh let's do this!" and then the wheels turn in my brain and I adjust the rest of the plan. In fact sometimes I'll be the one to say "ok next we could ABC or DEF" and let the group decide. In your situation you could build in some times like that. "Why don't you wander while we do KJ Safari, fastpass EE and we'll meet you at Dinosaur?" See how many times they decide to just come with you anyway.

 

[KellyNY]

Noooo...not mad at all! Seriously, I'm being silly and sarcastic! Yes, I'd like to follow the Unofficial suggestions to save time in line, sure. We're all on board to have some semblance of a guide as to avoid long lines. His girlfriend, who adores me by the way, wants to do this as does everyone else. He just heard about having a guideline and didn't see why anyone would need a plan.

And Duffy, I appreciate your remarks, truly. Yes, he's an adult. This trip is a gift for both children, we're paying plane tickets, hotel, food and renting the car. The whole point was to take four days and spend some time together. As adults. We must do things different in our family. When we do a family trip together, the while point is laughing, talking, eating and exploring together. If my DH told them, 'hey we'll see you later, we're on our own' they'd be looking at us perplexed. I love having adult children who can now act like fun friends!

I'm sorry but just because you pay for a trip does not mean you are the boss. His girlfriend will agree to anything you say simply because she has no right to say no, she is a guest. You son on the other hand is a family and can say no.There is a possibility that he hates all the planned trips you had before and now that he is an adult he wants to tour it his way and he wants to be treated as an adult even if paid for. Another possibility is that he wants to show his girl HIS Disney, not yours. He wants her to see it his way. Why not to compromise? You can forget your plan and do it his way and who knows you may even like it or you can all follow your plan some days and go different directions other days. You want to have family fun, right, so make sure everyone is happy, not just you.

 

[hollygolitely93]

aw...how fun to all get together and how generous of you to take his gal! i would make sure the girlfriend was on my side and let her influence...and maybe give them afternoons togethet....plan mornings...take a break and do own thing...then meet bacl for dinner. ask him if anything specific he wants...any alobe time or night time he wants?

 

[Hisgirl]

I appreciate those of you who graciously shared your opinions without implying I am:
"dictating", "forcing family time", a possible wicked witch of a mother in law about to cause my son's gal to dump him, amongst other things..

My family is close and loving and no one controls anyone, but we love each other to pieces.

I would have better enjoyed some non-judgmental responses.

First off, my comment about subversive behavior was sarcastic and joshing. Does everyone in the family, me, husband, daughter AND girlfriend want to follow the plan suggested by The Unofficial Guide to Disney 2011? Yes!

My son, questioned why a plan was needed. That was all. That doesn't make me 'wicked'. A

You don't know me or my family. You know nothing about how I have raised my family. To suggest my son's gal might be considering dumping him so she won't marry into a family with a wicked mom in law, because I showed the touring plan to the family and think it's a great idea, well, I mean seriously, I think that's almost hilarious, if it weren't pitiful.

Disney discussion boards are all about celebrating a fun time coming up, sharing tips and being happy for all those planning. Let's leave all the ugly comments to the rude guests that are apparently standing in lines

 

[sharadoc]

Hi Hisgirl, please don't let yourself get too upset about some of the comments. It happens every time someone asks an opinion about anything at all. I'm sure you were just looking for some good natured fun discussions about "kids and their opinions". Any topic will eventually go to the extreme, and folks will take a discussion far more personally than you could have imagined.

I know I had a terrible experience with a Busch Gardens trip with a group so I was trying to warn about hard feelings that can develop when people have a different opinion in your group. It was not meant to criticize or imply that you were mean!

Take care and have a wonderful vacation with your family. I envy the fact that you can hang out with your adult children. I never had that kind of relationship with my parents and I would have loved it. Hopefully we can be like that with our children.

 

[Hisgirl]

Thanks, Sharadoc! So sorry your trip got canceled due to gas prices! Man oh man...this has just got to stop! I'm in Atlanta and the prices vary by over 30 cents all over the place. I'm believing we're just being gouged because they can. Grrrrr..... and when Disney trips get canceled, well that just sucks eggs!

I, too, hope you can enjoy a great friendship with your kids when they're adults. It's a great blessing.

 

[sharadoc]

Thanks, Sharadoc! So sorry your trip got canceled due to gas prices! Man oh man...this has just got to stop! I'm in Atlanta and the prices vary by over 30 cents all over the place. I'm believing we're just being gouged because they can. Grrrrr..... and when Disney trips get canceled, well that just sucks eggs!

I, too, hope you can enjoy a great friendship with your kids when they're adults. It's a great blessing.

Thanks. It's okay about the trip. We went 3 times last year, and we'll still have our June trip. Funny - my DD is sort of increduous. She's 10 and she's like - "what, only one trip this year?????" I do get sort of envious because now is the time people are seriously planning their November/December trips and I was really looking forward to going again at Christmastime. But, we'll live.

Thanks for the good wishes! Less than 5 weeks until our trip so I'm getting pretty excited!!!

 

[Dolby1000]

There are the planners (like me, my comfort zone is to always have a good plan, it makes me good at my job as a Project Manager). Type P (plan) people.

There are the "seat of the pants, or just go" type people. My brother is this way, just go and figure it out when you get there. Type G (go) people.

We don't travel together. And, yes, we get along great and are wonderful brothers to each other.

Now, this is a generalization, but as a rule, planners really cannot have a great time with go'ers because there is no plan and they are out of their comfort zone. Goers don't like planners because they feel handcuffed by the plan. Someone is always going to be unhappy, and let's face it, you are on vacation, people would prefer to happy!

Now, even though I am a P person, I have all due respect, and some envy, actually, for the goers. Sometimes I wish I could say I'll just go, but then lack of a plan always does me in!

So, once you realize this fact, that your DS and you are of different breeds, you can adjust your trip accordingly so both of you have your fair share of enjoymenet during your trip.

Try to allow for planned and unplanned time. Now the goers may not hit every attraction, parade or dinner, but I think you will find that the they have no less fun doing their things that than the planners have in completing a good plan.

So, after all this virtirole, plan for unplanned time! This is likely the best compromise.

Dolby1000