Why doesn't family ask for advice before they book?

I can't speak for everyone but what the issue is for me is that people will book their first trip to Disney World, sometimes they will ask advice but even if they do they ignore it all, then come back and try to complain to me about what a terrible time they had, how people are ridiculous for wanting to go there and it's a waste of money then want to say to me something along the lines of "why on earth would you ever go there?!?!?! It's hot, it's expensive, all you do is wait in lines, it's terrible!!!"

If you didn't bother to ask my advice or did and you ignored it all because you couldn't be bothered then don't come expecting to complain to me about why you had a crappy trip.

Some people don’t like Disney no matter if they get the best planning advice. Not everyone will love Disney.
Disney is hot, expensive and there are a lot of lines.

I don’t care if people complain to me. Most people i know don’t like Disney and that’s ok!! I know it’s not for everyone.
 
Some people don’t like Disney no matter if they get the best planning advice. Not everyone will love Disney.
Disney is hot, expensive and there are a lot of lines.

I don’t care if people complain to me. Most people i know don’t like Disney and that’s ok!! I know it’s not for everyone.

And that's fine. Everybody has different vacation styles. There's nothing wrong with that.

Yes, Disney World is often hot, expensive, and lines are long. But if you say you can't handle heat well and then book a trip to WDW in July, hate lines but refuse to get to the park before noon and won't utilize FP+, and then come back and complain about it then, well.....I don't think you're sharpest tool in the drawer.

What I don't understand is how people who don't like WDW, for whatever reason, feel it's ok to then tell people who do that there is no value in that kind of trip, other vacations are much better and they should do that.

Heck, my parents LOVE all inclusive resorts in the Caribbean or Mexico. My mom has spent 2 weeks at them alone this year. I don't understand it. I get bored out of my gourd doing nothing but sitting by the pool all day. And that's fine. But I don't tell her it is ridiculous for her to go there and spend that kind of money on a vacation that would make me miserable.
 
I'm in the limited advice camp. We are from the UK, and known in the playground as "that family" who do a lot of Disney. I point them in the direction of MDE, give them the cutoff time frames and leave it at that. I'm not comfortable taking responsibility for arranging someone else's vacation that will probably cost them the thick end of 10k. Sometimes the disboards are an echo chamber for the virtue of planning to the nth degree, which is not for everyone. I'm happy to keep my experience and knowledge to our family.
 
And that's fine. Everybody has different vacation styles. There's nothing wrong with that.

Yes, Disney World is often hot, expensive, and lines are long. But if you say you can't handle heat well and then book a trip to WDW in July, hate lines but refuse to get to the park before noon and won't utilize FP+, and then come back and complain about it then, well.....I don't think you're sharpest tool in the drawer.

What I don't understand is how people who don't like WDW, for whatever reason, feel it's ok to then tell people who do that there is no value in that kind of trip, other vacations are much better and they should do that.

Heck, my parents LOVE all inclusive resorts in the Caribbean or Mexico. My mom has spent 2 weeks at them alone this year. I don't understand it. I get bored out of my gourd doing nothing but sitting by the pool all day. And that's fine. But I don't tell her it is ridiculous for her to go there and spend that kind of money on a vacation that would make me miserable.

This is exactly the issue with a lot of first time Disney world goers. It is probably not for them and if they would have put in the research ahead of time then they would have known. Frankly, I don't understand how anyone goes on a vacation and is going to spend thousands of dollars and does not do the research. If that is how a person lives their lives, that is up to them. But do not complain about it afterwards.
 


I understand your frustration especially regarding planning basics (but I don’t think you should feel offended or concerned they didn’t seek your input.) Lots of people want to do things their own way.

When someone asks me for help, I refer them to a couple planning websites, tell
them that certain ADRs and FP book up early and that’s about it. I don’t want to be responsible for their enjoyment and the way we do the parks may not be for them.

We book a couple ADRs and our 3FP but we like to keep our days relatively fluid - no super detailed touring plan here. Lots of people totally wing it and love it. Others wing it and realize they should have planned better. People have different styles! It’s ok.
 
This is exactly the issue with a lot of first time Disney world goers. It is probably not for them and if they would have put in the research ahead of time then they would have known. Frankly, I don't understand how anyone goes on a vacation and is going to spend thousands of dollars and does not do the research. If that is how a person lives their lives, that is up to them. But do not complain about it afterwards.

I was just talking to my mom about that the other day. She has worked at a travel agency for years and she said they used to have a sign up at the office that said something like "90% of the pleasure of a vacation comes from anticipation." Now, I think 90% is high but a big part of the pleasure of traveling for me has always been the research and planning. It is boggling to me that people would go anywhere really without even so much as checking out what there is to do there in advance.

I live in a tourist area and I can't tell you how many people will just roll into town with nothing but a hotel reservation (and sometimes not even that) and ask what there is to do here. I just don't get it.
 
I know it's frustrating, but I have found that even those people who ask for advice don't follow it. I have helped countless people with their plans, and they either love it, or they decide that they know better about how to do Disney. It is always interesting when the latter return and complain about their trip. That being said, it is so great when the first group send me pictures of what a wonderful time they are having on their trip.
 


I live in a tourist area and I can't tell you how many people will just roll into town with nothing but a hotel reservation (and sometimes not even that) and ask what there is to do here. I just don't get it.
While I like to research and plan and find things to do because it enhances my excitement my in-laws don't do that; too much planning actully kills their excitement level. They enjoy the excitement of getting to a place and going from there (WDW would involve just a wee bit more looking into from my in-law's perspective but def. not as much as my husband and I would do). So in your example they would just roll into town probably look a tiny bit on their phones at what there is to do and go from there. Perhaps realize not everyone wants to vacation the way you do?
 
I had friends at school who planned a fairly last minute trip to WDW staying at the Swan with Starwood Points. I explained to them how important it was to make FP selections and dining reservations at the popular restaurants. I saw them the day they were heading to the airport and they still hadn't made any reservations/FP+ ! But you know what, they had a great time! I think the new FP system favors the ill informed. Granted she was there beginning of February and not Spring Break, but they felt they got to do everything they wanted to do. Not everyone needs a color coded spreadsheet to have a nice trip at WDW.
 
I had friends at school who planned a fairly last minute trip to WDW staying at the Swan with Starwood Points. I explained to them how important it was to make FP selections and dining reservations at the popular restaurants. I saw them the day they were heading to the airport and they still hadn't made any reservations/FP+ ! But you know what, they had a great time! I think the new FP system favors the ill informed. Granted she was there beginning of February and not Spring Break, but they felt they got to do everything they wanted to do. Not everyone needs a color coded spreadsheet to have a nice trip at WDW.

There is so much to do and see at WDW that even if you don't get FP's for the most recently opened, popular rides or ADRs for the most poplar restaurants, you aren't going to have nothing to do. Maybe some people are disappointed, or maybe they end up loving it.
I have never heard anyone actually complain that they had a horrible time. I have heard people talk about how crowded it was, and that they wouldn't go back but not because they had a horrible time, just that they did it and realized it isn't their thing.
I know seasoned veterans and DVC owners who still complain when they come back so there is that too, it isn't just reserved for people who don't seek or listen to advice.
 
I’m also going through this right now with my family. The trouble is that we are trying to plan together and they think I’m ridiculous when “all you really need to do is just show up.” I sent them a link to touringplans and they laughed at me. We are also going to stay offsite because “what’s the big deal!?” I am coming across as snooty and uptight.
 
I’m also going through this right now with my family. The trouble is that we are trying to plan together and they think I’m ridiculous when “all you really need to do is just show up.” I sent them a link to touringplans and they laughed at me. We are also going to stay offsite because “what’s the big deal!?” I am coming across as snooty and uptight.

This is why I don't do Disney with other people outside of my nuclear family. I save family trips for other destinations.
 
The most important thing I offer first is that there are ways to cut hours and hours off of wait times. Everything else seems to be based on personal preference but I have never heard of someone wanting to spend MORE time standing in line. Then I ask what is important for them; relaxing mornings or more rides and activites, access to off site activities or all-disney all the time, more roller coasters or shows and parades, fine dining or quick fuel, parkhopping or not, luxurious resorts or just a clean place to sleep between park visits. Maybe they want time for shopping, naps, fireworks or character interactions. I look at planning as a way to maximize what your group wants to get out of vacation while making the most of my vacation dollar.
 
I restrained myself from going all superfan when my BIL called last night to ask a few questions about WDW. Since they wanted to stay onsite I gave them a couple ideas after asking what kind of hotels they usually stay in, and reminding them that Disney resorts will cost more because of their location. They said 2 days of their trip would be in WDW -- Magic Kingdom and one more park, so I pointed out a few highlights of Epcot and AK and told them to go to the Disney website for more.

I did tell them they should make a TS reservation if they went to Epcot to do some nicer dining, but I didn't bring up FP+ yet because they are already inside of 60 days -- so at this point whether they make FP or not for a few weeks isn't going to make much difference. But I will if they call back with any more questions or tell me they have confirmed dates.

A friend took me to lunch to discuss a one-day trip to Disneyland over Christmas break. I knew they were staying an hour away, so I told them the only advice I was adamant about was how important it was to be at the parks before opening for a one-day hopping visit. Another friend recommended Ridemax and although it ended up being a mega-busy day they stopped admitting guests, their family had a great time. And they showed up for rope drop!

PHXscuba
 
Also, they are cheap. Plain and simple. They are millionaires (seriously), but cheap to a fault. That is one reason they don't take vacations. So they booked the Holiday Inn (which if it's the Disney Springs one, I would totally stay at, as it looks fine for a short trip when I won't use the room other than sleep), but I don't know what Holiday Inn they booked!
First of all, the Holiday Inn DS is a wonderful property - MUCH better customer service IMO than any onsite option. Since they didn't ask you for advice, don't concern yourself with whether they booked this hotel or not. Also, perhaps they are (seriously) millionaires due to their frugal ways, nothing wrong with that in my book!
 
Update: saw Sister in Law and her husband last night. She & I hung out in the kitchen, and she told me she had gone to Disneyworld (with their 7 year old son). I asked how the trip was. She shook her head, and said she pretty much hated it. It was SO crowded. I said, "You went the week leading to Easter. Of course it was". I said she could go another less busy time, and she said it was the son's spring break. I siad I had taken my kids out for a week at that age; what will they miss? She said they got fastpasses, but didn't know that after your third you can book another. I said if she had called me, I would have told her that. The list went on and on, how miserable it was. She said they ate hamburgers and hot dogs, and it was so expensive. I'm like, I never eat that at Disney; there is so much good food! They honestly don't vacation much, even though they are both individually millionaires.

I said if she goes back (doubt she will, ever), call me. They took the autotrain down, drove to the parks, not sure what hotel/motel they stayed at, didn't go to Epcot (she said she didn't think their son would like it, but I know him, and them, and know they could spend a week at Epcot! It's been my kids' favorite park since they were 2 and 4). Only did 3 park days. Anyway, I listened and told her I could help with getting a decent price even at a value resort if they went back, but I think they felt they owed it to their only child to take him once, so now their obligation has been met. It was really a bummer. PS: they drove home then. The train trip was free, as her husband had a ton of Amtrak points (I priced it once for us, and it would be like double the cost for us to fly).
 
I siad I had taken my kids out for a week at that age; what will they miss?
Respectfully that's their decision. Taking kids out of school for vacation is a hotbed topic on the Boards. It's very reasonable to understand why you may be ok with taking your children out of school to go at a less busy time but your sister-in-law is not or for that matter various other people who do not take their kids out of school for vacation. And I'll put the caveat that other times of the year are busy too.

She said they got fastpasses, but didn't know that after your third you can book another.
At least give them credit for knowing and booking the 3 that come with their ticket.

She said they ate hamburgers and hot dogs, and it was so expensive. I'm like, I never eat that at Disney; there is so much good food!
I'm going to say this is by choice that they ate this. Plenty of QS places have choices other than hamburgers and hot dogs. So if they ate that it's because they actively chose to.

didn't go to Epcot (she said she didn't think their son would like it, but I know him, and them, and know they could spend a week at Epcot!
Respectfully, it's her child. What you and your children did and liked may not be what they would like. Maybe he would have enjoyed it maybe not but it's their vacation to make decisions what parks most interest them. Lots of people with kids skip Epcot, or did skip years ago when it was deemed too educational/boring for their kids-who knows maybe those kids would have loved it (I know I loved educational stuff) but still.

It was really a bummer.
Eh..it's still their vacation. It's their children, their decision where they want to vacation. Maybe years down the road you can take their son to WDW for another trip and do it your way. For some it truly is just treated like a "well I felt like I had to go" and they don't have much desire to go back. That can be even if they had a good time.
 
Most people i know view Disney as something they’re obligated to do for their kids once so they go but they mostly hate it.

Some people just don’t like to vacation even if they have tons of money. My mother dislikes hotels and such. She will do day trips here or there but she has zero desire to go anywhere for a week and be away from her dog and the comfort of her home. Different strokes.
 
Update: saw Sister in Law and her husband last night. She & I hung out in the kitchen, and she told me she had gone to Disneyworld (with their 7 year old son). I asked how the trip was. She shook her head, and said she pretty much hated it. It was SO crowded. I said, "You went the week leading to Easter. Of course it was". I said she could go another less busy time, and she said it was the son's spring break. I siad I had taken my kids out for a week at that age; what will they miss? She said they got fastpasses, but didn't know that after your third you can book another. I said if she had called me, I would have told her that. The list went on and on, how miserable it was. She said they ate hamburgers and hot dogs, and it was so expensive. I'm like, I never eat that at Disney; there is so much good food! They honestly don't vacation much, even though they are both individually millionaires.

I said if she goes back (doubt she will, ever), call me. They took the autotrain down, drove to the parks, not sure what hotel/motel they stayed at, didn't go to Epcot (she said she didn't think their son would like it, but I know him, and them, and know they could spend a week at Epcot! It's been my kids' favorite park since they were 2 and 4). Only did 3 park days. Anyway, I listened and told her I could help with getting a decent price even at a value resort if they went back, but I think they felt they owed it to their only child to take him once, so now their obligation has been met. It was really a bummer. PS: they drove home then. The train trip was free, as her husband had a ton of Amtrak points (I priced it once for us, and it would be like double the cost for us to fly).

Sadly this is a common scenario. My brother and SIL took their kids once a few years ago. They never asked me for any advice, she chose to listen to her friend who had been 1 time instead of me. Crazy, I know! Well they also had no clue about the FP, or other facts I could have told them. It's fine if you don't want to do research or listen to someone who has been many times. But what bothered me is they come back and look at my like I am crazy for going so much because they had a bad time. Funny enough, the kids loved it and wanted to go back but they won't take them again.
 

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