Why doesn't family ask for advice before they book?

I won't give advice even when people ask for it. I'll give general facts, like if you want you can create a MDE account and explain the basics of FP. I don't say whether they should use it or not. I never tell people to book ADRs in advance, I do explain that if you want a TS meal it's next to impossible to walk up and get seated so you will need to book an ADR, even if it's 30 min. before. We are wing it type of people, it's just our way of doing it. I understand others don't want to do it that way but I'm not going to tell someone they have to do it one way or another. I'll tell people we stay on site and tell them why but also tell them there are plenty of places to stay off site and the advantages of that. It's up to them to decide how they want to do it and I'm not going to overload them with information, it just gets too confusing.
 
I understand what you are saying, but I think in this case she was frustrated because I was stressed and she knew that she could have helped me, had I asked her. We have travelled all over the world and I have never needed hand-holding before, but WDW is unnecessarily complicated, something I didn’t know and she did. In retrospect I would have given her my credit card and let her sort out the entire thing for me!

Ok, that makes sense. If you yourself are stressed and they were thinking they could help isn't how I was taking it.
I see it through my own perspective, I don't really stress about vacations since I'm more laid back and do whatever kind of vacationer, even for WDW so I wouldn't even think to ask someone for help planning.
 
I have had family members plan trips to WDW and not want to hear what I said about it. The problem is that if you have never been there then you can not fathom how HUGE WDW property is. Most think it is like going to a six flags or something like that. That is the first thing I tell people when they mention going for the first time. It is a double edge sword because the family members I had that would not listen to what I had to say, came back complaining that they wish someone would have told them!!!! >:(
 
Ok, that makes sense. If you yourself are stressed and they were thinking they could help isn't how I was taking it.
I see it through my own perspective, I don't really stress about vacations since I'm more laid back and do whatever kind of vacationer, even for WDW so I wouldn't even think to ask someone for help planning.

The 6 months I spent 6 travelling round Australia took less planning than this upcoming 4 weeks in WDW. I’ve learned a lot since we booked it, but the endless options for hotels, tickets, ADRs, FPs and upcharges was totally overwhelming to me. It’s like having to learn another language! Add in the fact that we are juggling 4 different groups of people, and I have never been stressed about a trip in my life!
 
I always refer people to the Unofficial Guide and Touring Plans. I could talk Disney til the cows come home, but I know 95 percent of what I said isn't "heard". I don't want someone to come home and complain if things didn't go as they expected.
 
I always refer people to the Unofficial Guide and Touring Plans. I could talk Disney til the cows come home, but I know 95 percent of what I said isn't "heard". I don't want someone to come home and complain if things didn't go as they expected.

I do too. I have been many times and still buy one each year:)

OP, I get what you are saying. I've been there too. I guess you have all this information obtained over the years and just want to help them!
My son and daughter in law, 2 grandkids age 4 and 6, were going for the first time. They know I am a Disney fanatic and go a lot.
So, I was expecting questions from them. They didn't say a word and their leave date was coming up, so I asked if there were any questions about WDW they had, I would be happy to answer. My DIL just shook her head NO and said they would figure it out as they went.

That's what THEY wanted to do. What I wanted to do was give them advice to help make their stay better.
I needed to figure out that it was their vacation, and so I didn't offer any advise, just told her to ask if anything came up they needed help with. I did give her my year old Unofficial Guide to WDW though :)

When they came back, they could only get fp's for secondary attractions, and the boys missed out on a lot of the basic children's classics.
But they didn't know any better, had a great time, and will probably go back at a later date.

What I got from this is that MY feelings got hurt, as I had this wealth of information, and they didn't want it!
I also realized that some people want to do it themselves, learn about WDW themselves, and that makes them happy.

I am now "over" feeling hurt and glad they had a good time, even if I think they might have missed out on some really awesome attractions. It is their vacation and they will handle it. So no worries now, and no hurt feelings either :)
 


I'm with a few others here. If my in-laws go to WDW on their own (since they opted to not go with us due to stamina issues) I already know for a fact (having been an a variety of vacations with them) that they do not and never will vacation exactly like my husband and I. When we go on vacations together we try and compromise with their style and our style. We like the same type of vacations just we have different styles.

I do find that many more people on the Boards (not saying that's what's going on in this thread but generally speaking) tend to view it as an insult that someone doesn't want their wealth of information or doesn't do what they did or doesn't eat where they want to eat or how they eat or spends money differently.

People just vacation differently. The one aspect I can absolutely understand is not wanting to hear the return trip IF something went wrong but I'm not sure how to avoid that as best laid plans can still lead to disappointments. Some people do well with the 'ignorance is bliss', and honestly how you (general you) and your traveling party works out can be an absolute nightmare for another traveling party so some advice may just not be best if a traveling party can't just learn what works best for them.

Now truly it would be best if they did understand the basics of FPs (including that it's included in park tickets) but if they didn't want to use FPs that's on them.

Stay onsite absolutely isn't a requirement nor should one feel bad if they didn't. It was a dream of mine to stay onsite and I got that dream this past September but it's interesting how other people view my dream as a mandatory thing.

Dining reservations...I didn't realize just how important some people put on those. Seriously this past trip was the first time I even ate at TS but with some of the talk on the DIS you'd think I was committing some sin by being totally ok with not putting much importance on sit-down places. But to be fair one should probably know that sit-down places pretty much all require an ADR to be made rather than a walk-up situation.

Most I would hope for people traveling is that they've at least gone to WDW's website to learn a few basics. Learn what type of rides they would want to go on, learn at least what FP is so they can decide if they want to do that, learn that sit down places require ADRs and that WDW isn't a walk up type place, etc.
 
Hi, fellow Dis-ers!

I just need to vent. I've been to WDW 30 times now. I've had my brother-in-law ask me a few times over the years if I can give him advice (he's been once as a small child, has no memory of it), as he and my sister-in-law have a 7 year old and they have never been (they don't vacation much, not due to money just maybe lack of interest as they are much older parents). I offered some good advice, especially since he's a colonel in the Marine Corps reserves (and works with the gov't at the Pentagon), that they can buy military tickets, get discounts, or stay at SOG, etc....

I just got back and was told by another family member they are going soon (like next weekend), staying only for 3 days, staying off site, my SIL asked my oldest how was parking at the theme parks (he said it's best not to drive), they have no fast passes (my son asked if they had them, she asked how much did that cost? He's like, nothing, they're included!).

So they're going over spring break, staying off site, have no idea how fast pass works, maybe have no tickets, no dining reservations. I know that is how many folks go into Disney (I witnessed it a lot last week, folks not understanding how their tickets worked, how to get a fast pass, what MDE app is).

They have not called me, and it's killing me, but I am not going to call them about this either. My fear is that they see us go and (other than this trip last week, which is a long story), we always have such a good time, plan our fast passes, enjoy good food, but they will likely not see or do much of anything.

Oh, and also she told my son that my BIL hates crowds. It's spring break! Pandora area at DAK was so crowded the one day we went last week, we chose to not return until a trip later (we did ride FOP with a disability return time as my youngest is in a wheelchair, but thought it was just okay).

Funny thing is years ago, my other BIL did a similar thing. They knew we had been many times, but didn't ask any advice. They went over just a weekend (Memorial Day), stayed in a house off site so they could cook (?), rented a mini van (they took my MIL and FIL), just did the MK and complained that all they did was stand in lines.

If I were going to London, Paris, even though I've been there, I'd ask friends who had been for advice!

My brother did the same thing and it drove me absolutely bananas. I literally make spreadsheets and obsess over the details. He went on a whim one week (no fast pass, no dining, etc.) and loved it! To each their own I suppose...?
 
My brother did the same thing and it drove me absolutely bananas. I literally make spreadsheets and obsess over the details. He went on a whim one week (no fast pass, no dining, etc.) and loved it! To each their own I suppose...?

I'm glad they loved it!

I just know my SIL and her family won't. Only because her husband said he hates crowds. And her brother (my husband's brother) hated it when they went. They said all they did all day was wait in lines. When my SIL had her son, we actually pondered taking him some time, knowing they would never do a fun vacation (they have done a couple things where they visit grandparents and something in Maine to visit historical sites, but nothing "kid" related). But, he is a handful, and I'm not up to that. My oldest was enough of a handful, but I knew how to travel with him (I've flown alone with him from Hawaii to the Midwest alone when he was a few months old; my kids have travelled since infancy).
 
That is too bad they didn't ask. I know for myself, we have not been to WDW in many years. I don't know what to ask if that makes sense? So I am focused on the basics for now :)
 
Many years ago my cousin told me she was planning a trip to Disney and I offered help. She didn’t want it, she glazed over actually and I thought “oh well”. She went to MK around noon during Spring Break. She said the entire day sucked. I sat and listened to her vent all the while thinking of all the ways she could have avoided every miserable moment but I couldn’t, I just listened. She has gone back since and has had a better experience. I think she did her research. I always let my family know: I’m here to help if you need it.
 
Their (un)planned vacation doesn’t sound like my type of vacation, but maybe my type of vacation isn’t their type of vacation.

Everyone is different. I’m a planner, like you, OP - but it’s clear that you and I plan differently. I never ask others about their trips, because chances are, we don’t see eye to eye. That said, I research on my own.

Several of the things you are concerned about are really no big deal, depending on how you vacation. The only real problems here are not having fast passes, and likely having an unrealistic idea of how crowded the parks will be. And while that sounds not so fun to me (we plan 3 passes and wing it from there, never waiting more than 25 minutes all day)...its also not my (or your) problem. We stay off site almost every time we go, eat in our condo and bring sandwiches in to the parks, and don’t make ADRs....and that’s how we can afford to go on two week trips every year.
 
Unfortunately, you can't do anything about it now. Don't stress yourself. If the conversation comes up that they had a horrible time, just mention that you know many tricks to a good trip so if they ever go again then suggest that they plan ahead at least 7 months and ask for your advice. You hate to see someone spend so much money and end up having a horrible time, but shame on them for not doing any research themselves. Even if they didn't reach out to you they could have just researched even a little bit online themselves.

I cringed when i was over hearing a coworker tell another coworker about going to Disney -- this was from some who stayed value(no fault there), did not plan FPs, thought the dining plan was only for the restaurants at her resort, so obviously did not plan any TS anywhere. I couldn't help it so i had to step in a little- I told the Co-working who is considering WDW that she needs to plan at least 9 months out to have a good time and all about the fast passes and the variety of resort options. The Various dining plans and i gave her the website for these boards. I left it at that - I told her if they get serious about it to ask me questions, but to definitely read on these boards. It is very overwhelming first coming on these boards because it is almost like a foreign language, but it isn't impossible to learn how to Disney efficiently, it just takes a lot of time and research.
 
Unfortunately, you can't do anything about it now. Don't stress yourself. If the conversation comes up that they had a horrible time, just mention that you know many tricks to a good trip so if they ever go again then suggest that they plan ahead at least 7 months and ask for your advice. You hate to see someone spend so much money and end up having a horrible time, but shame on them for not doing any research themselves. Even if they didn't reach out to you they could have just researched even a little bit online themselves.

I cringed when i was over hearing a coworker tell another coworker about going to Disney -- this was from some who stayed value(no fault there), did not plan FPs, thought the dining plan was only for the restaurants at her resort, so obviously did not plan any TS anywhere. I couldn't help it so i had to step in a little- I told the Co-working who is considering WDW that she needs to plan at least 9 months out to have a good time and all about the fast passes and the variety of resort options. The Various dining plans and i gave her the website for these boards. I left it at that - I told her if they get serious about it to ask me questions, but to definitely read on these boards. It is very overwhelming first coming on these boards because it is almost like a foreign language, but it isn't impossible to learn how to Disney efficiently, it just takes a lot of time and research.

But this isn't true. Lots of people don't plan anything or do same FP+, no ADR's and still have an awesome time.
 
You do realize that these statements are very much opinions rather than requirements:

so obviously did not plan any TS anywhere.
Why is that an issue? If they got the Dining Plan it depends on what Dining Plan they got. Yes they should know what the level of Dining Plan they got entails.

she needs to plan at least 9 months out to have a good time
Why? Now granted this was in 2011 before FP+ but we planned that trip in just a few months and *gasp* bought our tickets weeks ahead. We also *gasp* only used the Legacy FP in 2011 like 3 times in the entire 5 WDW days!! Can you believe it we still had an amazing time!?

Now with FP+ there is more of a time ticker since you can book your FP+s at 60 days out onsite or 30 days offsite BUT it doesn't mean you're going to have a terrible time if you don't book the second the computer allows you. Many people don't and that's totally ok.

suggest that they plan ahead at least 7 months and ask for your advice.
7 months? before it was 9months? And they have to ask for someone's advice? Sheesh I would just say "I'm here if you need any thing, have questions or just want clarification." There's really no need to be that pushy retail associate who won't leave you alone- a simple "if you need help please let me know" suffices in both situations.

Now clearly yes some basic research should be done. Quite honestly WDW's website holds all you really need to know as far as basics so yes people should go to that to at least give them some information so they can make informed decisions for their traveling party.

I know people all have different approaches to things but for me personally if someone was insisting I vacation the way they do, and that I'm doing it all wrong, and I need to go to them for advice they would be the very last person I would go to.
 
You do realize that these statements are very much opinions rather than requirements:

Why is that an issue? If they got the Dining Plan it depends on what Dining Plan they got. Yes they should know what the level of Dining Plan they got entails.

I agree. A lot of this is just reading for 3 minutes. It goes way beyond planning 9 or 7 months in advance.

I have a friend who had a cousin go to WDW and get the DDP. Then ranted that she couldn't any restaurants because she tried to walk up. No ADR's. That has nothing to do with preplanning. That's idiotic to pay that much money for a dining plan and not take 3 minutes to read the literature. It says everywhere to make reservations. Even the Disney site!!

My son went on his senior trip this month. He didn't plan a thing until he arrived at ASMo. Kids broke off and formed little groups to tour with. His group, when they arrived, decided to do MK, Epcot, HS and AK in that order and hop at night to whatever park was open late. Then they made their FP+ for the entire trip and went to MK. He got everything except FOP and they rode that stand by. He had an amazing time with no planning, no ADR's, same day FP+ and literally just showing up because Mom and Dad paid for everything. :rotfl: The only advice he took from me was to made additional FP+ and that was on day 2 of his trip and he was completely mind blown.
 
I'm glad they loved it!

I just know my SIL and her family won't. Only because her husband said he hates crowds. And her brother (my husband's brother) hated it when they went. They said all they did all day was wait in lines. When my SIL had her son, we actually pondered taking him some time, knowing they would never do a fun vacation (they have done a couple things where they visit grandparents and something in Maine to visit historical sites, but nothing "kid" related). But, he is a handful, and I'm not up to that. My oldest was enough of a handful, but I knew how to travel with him (I've flown alone with him from Hawaii to the Midwest alone when he was a few months old; my kids have travelled since infancy).

I bet your family would not have a good time, no matter how far in advance they planned based just on this post. SOmeties the bst thing for a planner is that they were NOT asked for advice. You doged a bullet!

You do realize that these statements are very much opinions rather than requirements:

Why is that an issue? If they got the Dining Plan it depends on what Dining Plan they got. Yes they should know what the level of Dining Plan they got entails.



Now with FP+ there is more of a time ticker since you can book your FP+s at 60 days out onsite or 30 days offsite BUT it doesn't mean you're going to have a terrible time if you don't book the second the computer allows you. Many people don't and that's totally ok.

7 months? before it was 9months? And they have to ask for someone's advice? Sheesh I would just say "I'm here if you need any thing, have questions or just want clarification." There's really no need to be that pushy retail associate who won't leave you alone- a simple "if you need help please let me know" suffices in both situations.


I know people all have different approaches to things but for me personally if someone was insisting I vacation the way they do, and that I'm doing it all wrong, and I need to go to them for advice they would be the very last person I would go to.

I agree! Last year i totally scared someone away with my "vast" array of knowledge and my directive that he needed to book at least 7 months in advance, blah blah blah. He went to the beach.

I never use the additional FP, and I rather doubt I will. My family touring style is relaxed anad meandering, and we love it. On the first trip back as a family since my own kids were little I bet that anyone looking at us in teh MK would faint. We went on one attraction. It was the best day of our trip, and that trip so far cannot be beat.

We all travel differently and what is fun for one is a nightmare for another.
 
I have a good friend who is a DVC member and I didn’t tell her until after we booked our upcoming (first) trip because I didn’t want to impose on her. It wasn’t until after we made the booking and I started researching everything that I realised there is a huge group of people who enjoy planning Disney trips! She was quite frustrated that I didn’t get her advice, but I honestly just didn’t want to impose on her kindness.

I hope your family has a nice trip.

This is me. I hate feeling like an imposition. Plus, I also do like to do things my way. I have a few friends how have given me tips & I have asked the few experts in my world for some suggestions but at the end of the day, only I know how we like to travel. My kid is deathly, head in my back, near panic attack afraid of characters. Most of my friends think it would be great to do a character meal because my son is 6. Everyone I've shown him, he gets that deer in the headlights look of panic so we won't be doing any of those. My friends keep recommending, I keep on with my plans to avoid those.
 
I honestly don't understand why people would be frustrated because someone didn't ask them for advice about a WDW trip.
I get the idea of wanting to help someone, but if they don't ask (for whatever reasons) and you get frustrated it kind of comes across like you only wanted to help to show someone just how much you know.

I can't speak for everyone but what the issue is for me is that people will book their first trip to Disney World, sometimes they will ask advice but even if they do they ignore it all, then come back and try to complain to me about what a terrible time they had, how people are ridiculous for wanting to go there and it's a waste of money then want to say to me something along the lines of "why on earth would you ever go there?!?!?! It's hot, it's expensive, all you do is wait in lines, it's terrible!!!"

If you didn't bother to ask my advice or did and you ignored it all because you couldn't be bothered then don't come expecting to complain to me about why you had a crappy trip.
 

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