Wedding invitation snub

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by AustinTink, Mar 13, 2018.

  1. AustinTink

    AustinTink DIS Veteran

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    It's funny when you think you are very close to someone and then when it's time for the wedding invitations to go out, it turns out you are not. Do you get your feelings hurt when you aren't invited to something when you thought you would be?
     
  2. TipsyTraveler

    TipsyTraveler DIS Veteran

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    I always feel like I've dodged a bullet when I don't have to lose one of my Saturdays to someone else's plans. :laughing:
     
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  4. 3 MEN AND A BOAT

    3 MEN AND A BOAT DIS Veteran

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    Right or wrong when it happened to me, it changed my view of our friendship.
     
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  5. Southernmiss

    Southernmiss I am hazed everyday

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    I'd have to know more. How big is the wedding? Venue space? How much 'must invite family' do they have? Budget?

    Ds got married last year. We had a very limited # of invitations and could not invite all we wanted to. There was a cut off of 300 guests! And close to all 300 were there.

    Where to draw the line is not easy. Don't take it too hard and wish them well.
     
  6. AustinTink

    AustinTink DIS Veteran

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    That's the rub... we are family. It's my nephews wedding. I helped raise him from birth, they lived with us when I was a teenager. I have 6 siblings, only one sibling was invited. The rest of us were not and are really shocked and saddened.

    I don't believe it's lack of money. The bride's family is wealthy and footing the bill. I learned from the one sibling that was invited that it is going to be lavish affair, black tie, seated, multiple courses, etc.

    My sibling whose son did not invite his aunts and uncles refuses to address us about it. Did they think we wouldn't find out about the snub? This sibling is my son's godparent. I'm totally at a loss here.

    Edited to add: we live in the same city and see each other often.
     
  7. Queen of the WDW Scene

    Queen of the WDW Scene DIS Veteran

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    There are a variety of reasons that one doesn't end up being invited and I can understand most times its not personal so I don't take it that way.
     
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  8. Nancyg56

    Nancyg56 DIS Veteran

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    I would need to know more. I seldom take this kind of "snub" personally because I think that there is so much that goes into wedding planning, and that guest list is the most difficult, IMO. The only time I would let this affect my relationship is if I was left out of a family wedding, and honestly that happen to me and to my brother. My sister married and did not invite her siblings, not one of us. She said she could not afford to. Okay. She had a party the following day and had a computer playing a slide show. I went with an open mind, but those pictures had all of my new bIL's family, and quite a few friends. It has been about 5 years and I am still not completely over it.
     
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  9. Cannot_Wait_4Disney

    Cannot_Wait_4Disney Ok all you A cattle, get in ...

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    I was going to say not at all. But now that you've clarified, I can see why you're upset. Why would they refuse to even talk to you about it. That doesn't seem right. I snubbed someone and she in fact rightfully called me on it. I gave her an invitation that very moment.
     
  10. AustinTink

    AustinTink DIS Veteran

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    This is my sister's son getting married. She is my son's godmother. I am her son's godmother. I am at a total loss here.
     
  11. scrapquitler

    scrapquitler DIS Veteran

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    Nope. I'd rather not have to go to a wedding. I'd be relieved.

    Maybe they are having a super small wedding for immediate family only (or for just the B&G).
     
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  12. AustinTink

    AustinTink DIS Veteran

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    I have one aunt who was invited. She told me to call her on it. So, i texted and asked when the wedding was going to be so I could add it to my summer calendar. She responded that all the invitations went out in February. That was it.
     
  13. Queen of the WDW Scene

    Queen of the WDW Scene DIS Veteran

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    This behavior is childish IMHO.
    You were not invited. Don't make her feel stressed out about it.
    Just move on. If you're that close to them I'd still end a congrats card to show you do care.
     
  14. Cannot_Wait_4Disney

    Cannot_Wait_4Disney Ok all you A cattle, get in ...

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    So your Godson is getting married and you're not invited? Did you talk to him? Maybe it's just a small wedding.
     
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  15. Shanti

    Shanti Momketeer

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    I wouldn't assume you're not invited. Maybe something happened to the invite. I would contact your nephew (no third parties, especially not your sibling) directly & sweetly ask him if the invitation got lost as another family member mentioned theirs. That's the perfect opening for talking about it if it was not an accident.
     
  16. tvguy

    tvguy Question anything the facts don't support.

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    I married a co-worker in an office of 120. It was a tough call. Which people were more than just co-workers. Then we had 2 people upset they weren't invited.....and they WERE invited. They didn't say anything until after the wedding. They didn't figure out what happened until almost a year later when they didn't get their tax refund checks. They both had moved, and not bothered to give the Post Office a forwarding address.
     
  17. Nancyg56

    Nancyg56 DIS Veteran

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    This is how I felt. I was stunned when we were not included at my sisters wedding. I never said a word, and I was gracious at the party, although my DH refused to go. One of my nieces apologized for her mother and told me that wedding dinner was one of the most awkward nights of her life. She told me her siblings all ended up sitting together and trying to fade into the walls.

    It is really not that easy. You knwo that little FB meme going aroiund about your sign and how long uyou carry a grudge? Libra? DOne in 2 seconds. That is me. I don't lose sleep over much, refuse to take most things personally, and usually let everyting roll off of me. However, there are a few times when your relationship is so close that being left out is beyond hurtful. I understand the OP feeling hurt. I think I would as well.
     
  18. okeydokey

    okeydokey Frosty the Snowman scared me as a child.

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    Hearing these details I can see why you are hurt and upset. You and four siblings and spouses would add one more table and it sounds like quite a lavish wedding so it doesn't seem to be the cost. I'm sorry, I know it stings. This would never happen in my family and I can see this effecting your relationship going forward.
     
  19. AustinTink

    AustinTink DIS Veteran

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    I sent one text to my sister who I have supported and gone to the mat for at every turn in her life. We have been through hell together and have always come out on the other side stronger. Thanks for your opinion, but I don't believe it was childish.
     
  20. WebmasterMaryJo

    WebmasterMaryJo Techarita Staff Member Administrator

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    I can understand why you'd be confused and perhaps a little hurt. Since the wedding invitations went out already, I don't see the harm in reaching out and letting them know you didn't receive an invitation. I'm not really the confrontational type, so I'd ask just to make sure that there was no misunderstanding.

    I'm not sure where you go from here. They must have known that you would be hurt. On the other hand, if your nephew's fiancee's family is footing the bill they may have given the groom a certain number of invites. Still, you're the mother of the groom's sister. I'm sorry. :hug:


    I'm in the "not childish reaction camp."
     
  21. AustinTink

    AustinTink DIS Veteran

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    Thank you. I have honestly been in tears continuously since I found out.
     
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