Wedding Gift question

[Dopey Sharon]

My BIL, who has been divorced for about three years and has four kids, who will all be living with him (at his mother's house) in the next month, just announced that he is getting married to the woman, who has three kids, and lives across the street (at her father's house), that he just started dating THREE WEEKS ago!!! My question is...should this wedding happen...what is the proper wedding gift? I always give the couple money, which is what we did the first time he got married. Do we give him the same amount we would give anyone else getting married...Cut it in half...Buy a small gift...Or just give them a card and wish them luck...they are going to need it! BTW, he is 42, don't know how old she is, I haven't met her yet but I think she's around the same age. They will continue to live with her father, directly across the street from my MIL, who is the most controlling person I know.

 

[Jeafl]

He's only known her 3 weeks??? That's pretty bizarre. In any case, if they are just having a small wedding, I would just give a small token gift. It's hard to know what is appropriate under these circumstances.

 

[luv2nascar]

I really hope people who get married multiple times
don't really expect big gifts after the first wedding
Personally after one wedding I think it should be a
small personal affair or elope
Just went through BIL's 2nd marriage
DH, myself, & DD were all in wedding
I joked to others who were in it for the 2nd time also
that I don't care who he marries for the third one but
I'm not being in it
Does anyone realize what it costs to be in a wedding???
Stop having them

 

[gepetto]

Maybe you can buy them a gift your MIL would like. 2nd marriage, 7 kids and dating only 3 weeks dosen't merit a big gift. They probably each got all the housewares they needed the first time around.

 

[KimRaye]

Having been married twice, I expected NOTHING the 2nd time! Went to City Hall, quietly, the 2 of us and, got married. My most beloved family members and a few friends left gifts at my apartment that day or sent cards anyway. It was truly wonderful and, very thoughtful but, not expected. DH's parents wanted to host a party (and it wasn't DH's 1st marriage either!) but, DH declined. I'm VERY Lucky to have the family that I have, both sides!

All these same family members gave me a 2nd baby shower when I was expecting DD, 10 years after DS!

So, anyway, a gift is all on what you feel about the couple and the occasion. If it's a BIG wedding or small wedding, the choices might change.

I know we received an engraved photo frame with a nice 'saying' on it with our wedding date, my Mom crocheted and framed a beautiful "Love One Another" wall hanging, some family sent cash. My friend gave us a 'comp' night at a Suite hotel the night we got married. Maybe you could offer 'babysitting' for some occasion the 'new' newlyweds might want to attend?

It's up to you.

 

[iluvorlando]

Well.......my DH proposed to me after 2 weeks, we've been married 12 years. Just go with what your conscience tells you to do. I am sure ANY gift (if it takes place) would be appreciated.

Good luck!

 

[Disney Doll]

Perhaps an gift certifiacte for a dinner out and babysitting for the brood would be a nice "in between" sort of thing.

 

[JerseyJanice]

I think a small cash gift would suffice.