Ugh the terrible 20s

I have two 16 year olds and a 17 year old, I’ll take all three over dd22! Most of the she’s fine, but when she’s not? Fortunately ds20 is fine. Dd is back home after being away for 2 1/2 years.
 
I totally feel your pain about parenting "adults." DD18 & DD19 think they are adults, and want me to treat them as such, but when they are home they still want me to do their laundry and find all of their lost things. Oh, and pay for everything, too. I keep telling them that they have never been "adults" before and I have never been the parent of an "adult," so it is a process we all have to figure out.
 




My sister is pretty darn lucky.
My niece just turned 20 last week and she has definitely become much more responsible since starting college Fall 2017.
She just went back from being off on winter break. During the month she was home she helped out around the house which before used to never happen.
Her name was also just in the paper for having a high GPA.
 
My mom has been saying for the last few years that parenting adults is so much harder than parenting kids. The problems are so much bigger and the stakes are so much higher.

I just love the way they pick and choose when they want to be adults and when they're kids.

I most definitely do this. And when my mom points this out to me I just say "yep, exactly." :rotfl:
 
Perfect day for this! I have 22 and 23 year old sons... today I am dumb annoying mom who can’t say anything right! Hard but I wouldn’t trade it for anything (my 23 year old has lost 3 friends in 2 years so I think of their families).
 
Hard but I wouldn’t trade it for anything (my 23 year old has lost 3 friends in 2 years so I think of their families).

I have a friend who lost her 2 daughters (21 & 23 years old) in an accident a year ago today. Whenever my kids (21 & 24) start to annoy me, I think of my friend and I'm no longer annoyed. It really helps put things in perspective for me.
 
Our 20 yr old has been making exceedingly poor choices for the last year. Really not seeing much change for the better. I keep telling myself she's an adult, and not my problem, but it is really tough, and heartbreaking at times.
 
I have a friend who lost her 2 daughters (21 & 23 years old) in an accident a year ago today. Whenever my kids (21 & 24) start to annoy me, I think of my friend and I'm no longer annoyed. It really helps put things in perspective for me.

I can’t even imagine what your friend went/is going through. It does put everything in perspective.
 
I’m not sure how much parenting twenty-somethings need. At this point they should be raised and out on their own. I have two daughters 23, 25. They both attended college and one has moved out and is currently teaching out of state. The other is in her first year of teaching and is living at home until this summer when the expectation is she will move out. (We saved diligently and paid for college for both girls so they wouldn’t have student debt. We have told them since they were young that after college they could stay at home (if they wanted) for one year and save money, but then they were expected to move out.
If you have clear and direct conversations with your children early on they will know what they need to do. After the age of 18 children do not need us to “parent” them. They are adults and need to act as such. They will never grow up if we don’t let them.
 

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