Travelling alone with daughter - letter needed?

[lorenni]

So my son and I travel without DH all the time and often to the US. We’re US citizens and Canadian PRs.

I have never ever been challenged leaving Canada or entering the US (they can’t actually keep us out because we are citizens, but they could hassle us a bit). I have been challenged twice on my way back in to Canada (only at Toronto Island!). I looked straight at the agent and said “if you think I’m kidnapping him I’m the worlds worst kidnapper because I’ve just BROUGHT HIM BACK.”

I also reminded them - after I requested to speak with her supervisor - that I am not legally required to have a written letter. It is recommended but not required.

Now - all that said, I do usually carry the letter. And if I were leaving Canada/US without DH then I would definitely do so. But there is no requirement to have it notarized. Just get it signed and witnessed. And if you travel frequently you can draft the letter to last for a year (per US guidelines).

 

[Alexsandra]

I did not get my letter notarized the two times I traveled with my kids however my husband and a witness did sign the letter. I think you need to notarize if divorced.

 

[ellbell]

I did not get my letter notarized the two times I traveled with my kids however my husband and a witness did sign the letter. I think you need to notarize if divorced.

Nope you don't because the note is a recommendation not a requirement.

 

[lolomarie]

The whole idea makes me feel icky. Especially that mothers who keep their last name are penalized further. Having to have a permission letter to travel with your own kids feels very hand maids tale to me.

 

[Sjm9911]

It works both ways! I have to do it as a divorced dad. People never usally question the mothers, but a dad gets more scrutiny. If divorced, i also take a copy of the divorce settlement. Especially if going on a cruise. I witnessed familly not let on a cruise ship because of missing paperwork. Better to be prepared then left back. And i have been asked for it.

 

[ellbell]

The whole idea makes me feel icky. Especially that mothers who keep their last name are penalized further. Having to have a permission letter to travel with your own kids feels very hand maids tale to me.

It works both ways! I have to do it as a divorced dad. People never usally question the mothers, but a dad gets more scrutiny. If divorced, i also take a copy of the divorce settlement. Especially if going on a cruise. I witnessed familly not let on a cruise ship because of missing paperwork. Better to be prepared then left back. And i have been asked for it.

Here's the thing though this letter is not a requirement. I live near the border and travel across often with my 8 year old. Nobody bats an eye. I've also flown out of Toronto with him by myself, no questions. I've travelled back and forth with him with my current partner and neither of us have the same last name as him and had no issues. I will continue to do so. I don't ask his father for a letter. I bring the court documents for custody just in case but I've never needed them.

Cruise ships are different and require them and they also tell you this before you arrive.

 

[TammyLynn33]

Yep I had an arrogant us custom agent ask why my children had different last names in front of them.. I honestly almost cried and was totally unsure how to answer in front of them.
It was by far the worst customs experience ever ( and I always travel with paperwork


QUOTE="lolomarie, post: 60252961, member: 472934"]The whole idea makes me feel icky. Especially that mothers who keep their last name are penalized further. Having to have a permission letter to travel with your own kids feels very hand maids tale to me.[/QUOTE]

 

[isabellea]

In QC we don’t even have the option of changing our last name when getting married so my kids have their dad’s last name and I have my maiden name. I guess custom agents at border crossings around here are used to it because we never had any issue.

 

[Mikamarii]

The whole idea makes me feel icky. Especially that mothers who keep their last name are penalized further. Having to have a permission letter to travel with your own kids feels very hand maids tale to me.

Try looking at the world beyond your own bubble. No one is being penalized. This is put in place to protect the world's most vulnerable population.
Adbuctions, and especially parental abductions, or very common place. Although leaving the country doesn't happen often, it does happen.
Try working with a foreign government to find and return a child who has been taken out of Canada. Its extremely difficult, time consuming, hard on the family, and very expensive. All for something that could have been stopped on Canadian soil with a very simple process.
Kids can be coached. Very, very easily.

Is a notary seal be all end all? No. But its one measure in place.

If you have full custody then you don't need the letter but id be bringing those documents with me everytime i travel. It will save a whole lot of issues.

For anyone thinking its a waste if time or unnecessary hopefully the worst never happens to you. There are families out there that wish CBSA was more diligent.

 

[lolomarie]

Try looking at the world beyond your own bubble. No one is being penalized. This is put in place to protect the world's most vulnerable population.
Adbuctions, and especially parental abductions, or very common place. Although leaving the country doesn't happen often, it does happen.
Try working with a foreign government to find and return a child who has been taken out of Canada. Its extremely difficult, time consuming, hard on the family, and very expensive. All for something that could have been stopped on Canadian soil with a very simple process.
Kids can be coached. Very, very easily.

Is a notary seal be all end all? No. But its one measure in place.

If you have full custody then you don't need the letter but id be bringing those documents with me everytime i travel. It will save a whole lot of issues.

For anyone thinking its a waste if time or unnecessary hopefully the worst never happens to you. There are families out there that wish CBSA was more diligent.

Thank you for the lesson. Your tone needs some work though. Try not being so rude and maybe you'll have a greater impact on people's thoughts. You won't change anyone's mind or educate people on anything when you come from a place of aggression.