This Is Us- Season 3

[lisaviolet]

Their house - their budget - their new careers:

This is how I make it work in my head. That they have the house paid off (My apologies if a mortgage payment has been mentioned).

I know taxes are massive in that area. Not to mention monthlies - utilities etc.
I guess I simply assume that with their prior careers that they have a ton of money put away/investments. Especially the nature of Randall's career.

But what about Randall going on about their budget and no money for this or that? Well I have known people that have everything paid off, have very strong savings/investments but absolutely base their financial well-being on what money is coming in only. You know those loved ones or friends that are *broke* but have enough to go into retirement if they wanted to, at any minute.

Ie. Maybe Beth sees their financial situation differently.

 

[havaneselover]

Me too.

I honestly think they will get through this moment. I *think* Randall finally saw that Beth's not playing.

William had already tried to convey that this kind of moment needed to occur for Beth, that he saw the pattern between them (I really miss William - in this moment I am realizing that his character was a big part of my affection for the series. And maybe part of the reason I am so frustrated with these storylines/characters.)

--------

A bit OT but made me think about this episode and the theme of one partner/wife/husband wanting more and more.

Michelle Obama is on her speaking tour. Someone posted that she said Barack came to her and wanted a third child.

She told him to consider his time in the White House his third child.

She was in her mid-40s when he was elected. I'm not sure the timing makes sense.

 

[Prince_Hawkins]

Their house - their budget - their new careers:

This is how I make it work in my head. That they have the house paid off (My apologies if a mortgage payment has been mentioned).

I know taxes are massive in that area. Not to mention monthlies - utilities etc.
I guess I simply assume that with their prior careers that they have a ton of money put away/investments. Especially the nature of Randall's career.

But what about Randall going on about their budget and no money for this or that? Well I have known people that have everything paid off, have very strong savings/investments but absolutely base their financial well-being on what money is coming in only. You know those loved ones or friends that are *broke* but have enough to go into retirement if they wanted to, at any minute.

Ie. Maybe Beth sees their financial situation differently.

Beth and Randall could be accounting for college expenses for all three girls along with their own retirement, and evaluating their family budget after extracting those costs. This seems like something both of them would do. I could see them jointly stressing themselves out about the prospect of tearing through their savings too quickly in the absence of a steady present-day income.

 

[Prince_Hawkins]

Michelle Obama is on her speaking tour. Someone posted that she said Barack came to her and wanted a third child.

She told him to consider his time in the White House his third child.

Wait...Barack wanted Michelle to give birth to a third child after he'd already been elected/inaugurated???

Or was he bringing up the option of adopting?

 

[DisneyHardin]

Wait...Barack wanted Michelle to give birth to a third child after he'd already been elected/inaugurated???

Or was he bringing up the option of adopting?

I was wondering the same thing. She was already 44 when they first went to the White House.

 

[mom2rtk]

She was in her mid-40s when he was elected. I'm not sure the timing makes sense.

Wait...Barack wanted Michelle to give birth to a third child after he'd already been elected/inaugurated???

Or was he bringing up the option of adopting?

I was wondering the same thing. She was already 44 when they first went to the White House.

No idea when the comment was made, and I haven't seen her phrasing of it. But I could see him saying "I always wished we had a third child" and her responding "You should just consider our stint in the White House our third child".

 

[AustinTink]

The show just started, but I just wanted to say how great an actor young Randall is. He has all the mannerisms down pat of his older counterpart.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

The show just started, but I just wanted to say how great an actor young Randall is. He has all the mannerisms down pat of his older counterpart.

I'll be back tomorrow to read the thread, after I've seen the recording. It comes on too late for me to watch live (in 3 hours time ).

 

[lisaviolet]

She was in her mid-40s when he was elected. I'm not sure the timing makes sense.

Yes I realize her age.

It was straight from someone who had just heard her speak.

Wait...Barack wanted Michelle to give birth to a third child after he'd already been elected/inaugurated???

Or was he bringing up the option of adopting?

I was wondering the same thing. She was already 44 when they first went to the White House.

No idea when the comment was made, and I haven't seen her phrasing of it. But I could see him saying "I always wished we had a third child" and her responding "You should just consider our stint in the White House our third child".

I read it on Twitter last week, from her speaking tour - Vancouver stop.

As for the timing, I have no clue. It could have been at any moment re: her age or how to have another child. Or as mom2rtk phrased it, although it was not said that way in the post. Heck it could have been while they were waiting to enter the White House after the first election. Even could be quoted incorrectly and she was flippantly/playfully referring to his wanting to make a run for president (I seriously doubt that though, just thinking out loud).

The only reason why I posted it was not to debate wording or timing - insert big smile no sarcasm - but simple synchronicity. I was thinking about Beth and Randall, my own parents, and really thinking about how women especially set their limits, or not, in regards to husbands wanting more and more (I do realize it could be vice versa or a gay couple but women at a certain time did sacrifice more). And then Michelle's ways on the issue made me laugh. The synchroncity of the moment.

 

[lisaviolet]

The show just started, but I just wanted to say how great an actor young Randall is. He has all the mannerisms down pat of his older counterpart.

He is a great actor.

Can't wait for this episode. Hope I am not disappointed. Will watch later though. Watching Raptors Bulls.

 

[lisaviolet]

Beth and Randall could be accounting for college expenses for all three girls along with their own retirement, and evaluating their family budget after extracting those costs. This seems like something both of them would do. I could see them jointly stressing themselves out about the prospect of tearing through their savings too quickly in the absence of a steady present-day income.

Absolutely.

 

[AustinTink]

That was a low blow from Beth bringing up his anxiety attacks. I know everyone is Team Beth after last week, but I don't know. She consistently dishes it out as well. I think they will separate at the very least after this.

 

[lisaviolet]

That was a low blow from Beth bringing up his anxiety attacks. I know everyone is Team Beth after last week, but I don't know. She consistently dishes it out as well. I think they will separate at the very least after this.

I honestly think there are a lot of people on this thread who are not Team Beth.
And question the timing of her pursuits.

I simply see it as a crossroads and still hope they push on through.

I thought the episode was just okay. I think the writers had the opportunity, with this specific storyline, to make an exceptional one. It's too bad.

However, I do think it was written to show the other side. And to show how Randall was hardly limiting for Beth at times. And how some personalities can simply takeover from those trying to help at times, and then feel like they're doing it all alone. Dynamics are complicated.

I loved Kevin, and some of his lines, going over Randall's vows ie. dissertation.

I also paid very close attention to Beth and Rebecca. The flashback of her giving birth in a prior season showed how close they were but it seemed like a totally different relationship later on (By the time William came on the scene). I remain curious about them.

Loved seeing William.

 

[AustinTink]

I also paid very close attention to Beth and Rebecca. The flashback of her giving birth in a prior season showed how close they were but it seemed like a totally different relationship later on (By the time William came on the scene). I remain curious about them.

They made it seem as if Beth resents the closeness between Randall and Rebecca. Maybe she just wishes she had the same kind of bond with her own mother and resents them because of it. Her mom is so complicated.

 

[kimblebee]

Ok, I skipped over all the responses to do another live post. My husband is all tucked in so it’s time to watch lol

• uh Randall, you’re missing time with your girls and sleeping in Philly because of a CHOICE you made. You did it to yourself.

• LOL bringing up Roxanne. It’s so Kevin to not know it’s based on a play.

• not a very collegey first date place, but VERY Randall

• ugh @ having to pay before they eat.

• the Randall and Rebecca being so close would have driven me CRAZY. My husband’s mom died eight or so years ago (before we got together) and he always says we would have gotten along so well but from the stories he’s told, this is how it would have been.

• Randall is nice but he is a LOT.

• Rebecca’s prosthetics are bad this week.

• aww what a sweet proposal.

• LOL Randall’s vows are a speech. He really does always overdo things. He’s a very intense person.

• if I was getting married again I would totally steal these vows

• The nacho theory makes sense.

• William <3

That was a pretty intense episode. I don’t think Beth was trying to play a victim, I think everything she said was true. I didn’t really think about it, but she has been the one to always adjust to his life. I think that happens in most relationships to an extent. Will be interesting to see next week. My episode doesn’t end with a preview of next week so I go in blind every week.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Oh my gosh - just watched this morning - I can't believe there is only one more episode in the season!

Randall just does not get what a pattern this has been. Yes, it's a rotten time for her to finally have something she wants badly enough to fight for it, but if he squashes her again, will it be another 20 years before she can work up that courage a second time? And no, it isn't all his fault. She taught him he could get away with it when she did things like cancel the hotel night, and she did what a lot of us do in the baby scene - wanting help, but being afraid to give up control.

But the nacho thing was spot on - he takes the best ones without even realizing it. It's not that he's consciously squashing her, it's just that he sees what he wants, and just assumes he can have it - telling the roommate he's going to marry Beth (when she'd just asked him not to call), bringing home William, buying the building, running for a time-consuming job with a killer commute. - Did he not think that was going to cost him time with his kids? He's acting like that's a sacrifice the world required of him, when it was a choice he made.

 

[anniemae]

• Rebecca’s prosthetics are bad this week.



That was a pretty intense episode. I don’t think Beth was trying to play a victim, I think everything she said was true. I didn’t really think about it, but she has been the one to always adjust to his life. I think that happens in most relationships to an extent. Will be interesting to see next week. My episode doesn’t end with a preview of next week so I go in blind every week.

Goodness,I fought the same thing about Rebeccas face this week during the mini golfing scene. What on earth? She looked like the elephant man.

I also don't think Beth was playing victim. I really saw it during the scene where Randall and William "caught" her at the market. She was all set to go have her weekend alone and he kind of "played" her. Asking her what episode she was going to watch of the tv show, then making a joke about it and laughing, then turning and saying, "well, go have your weekend" as he smiled. Then she felt bad and was like, "Well now I can't watch it without you, forget it, I'll come home." It was exactly the response he wanted from her. He charmed her by being sympathetic and charismatic. Like she said before, he was so charming and she always fell for it.

It reminded me of how I would get my toddler to leave the park when he didn't want to. "Okay, you can stay, but I am going home." I would turn to leave and ds would come running after me and hop into the car.

Loved seeing William.

 

[quandrea]

Goodness,I fought the same thing about Rebeccas face this week during the mini golfing scene. What on earth? She looked like the elephant man.

I also don't think Beth was playing victim. I really saw it during the scene where Randall and William "caught" her at the market. She was all set to go have her weekend alone and he kind of "played" her. Asking her what episode she was going to watch of the tv show, then making a joke about it and laughing, then turning and saying, "well, go have your weekend" as he smiled. Then she felt bad and was like, "Well now I can't watch it without you, forget it, I'll come home." It was exactly the response he wanted from her. He charmed her by being sympathetic and charismatic. Like she said before, he was so charming and she always fell for it.

It reminded me of how I would get my toddler to leave the park when he didn't want to. "Okay, you can stay, but I am going home." I would turn to leave and ds would come running after me and hop into the car.

Loved seeing William.

I see that scene differently. Maybe he was charming her, but so what? She wanted her weekend—have the strength to ask for/take your weekend. I think it’s very disingenuous of Beth to complain that she gave up this, put that on hold while Randall got to do whatever he pleased. If you don’t say you want something, you don’t get to be mad when you don’t get it. This is a common complaint of women. They expect their partners to anticipate their needs. That doesn’t happen most of the time. If you want something, make it known.

The by-product of not making one’s needs known—from the start, all the time—is resentment and deep seated anger. That’s what we are seeing in Beth now. She brought this on herself. She said she didn’t want to lose herself, but she didn’t follow through.

I realise I’m generalising about women and their relationships with men. Please allow me some leeway as I aim for brevity in the discussion.

I said to dh while we were watching, “If I want a weekend, I’ll just ask for a weekend.” He would never know I wanted that unless I said so. Then you go from there. It would have to work with his schedule, the kids’ swim schedule, everything else on the calendar. It would probably take a near act of Congress to orchestrate it and I’d probably have to wait for it to happen, but we’d figure it out. You don’t keep score of who gets what, you ask for what you need and work together—within the confines of family life—to make it happen.

 

[anniemae]

I see that scene differently. Maybe he was charming her, but so what? She wanted her weekend—have the strength to ask for/take your weekend. I think it’s very disingenuous of Beth to complain that she gave up this, put that on hold while Randall got to do whatever he pleased. If you don’t say you want something, you don’t get to be mad when you don’t get it. This is a common complaint of women. They expect their partners to anticipate their needs. That doesn’t happen most of the time. If you want something, make it known.

The by-product of not making one’s needs known—from the start, all the time—is resentment and deep seated anger. That’s what we are seeing in Beth now. She brought this on herself. She said she didn’t want to lose herself, but she didn’t follow through.

I realise I’m generalising about women and their relationships with men. Please allow me some leeway as I aim for brevity in the discussion.

I said to dh while we were watching, “If I want a weekend, I’ll just ask for a weekend.” He would never know I wanted that unless I said so. Then you go from there. It would have to work with his schedule, the kids’ swim schedule, everything else on the calendar. It would probably take a near act of Congress to orchestrate it and I’d probably have to wait for it to happen, but we’d figure it out. You don’t keep score of who gets what, you ask for what you need and work together—within the confines of family life—to make it happen.

I get what you are saying, but I think with Beth and Randall she said something that was so true. She said, "we don't work unless I bend." They are two VERY strong personalities and it just wouldn't work if one of them did not step back. Beth was the one who always stepped back for the good of the marriage. She always followed his whims and dreams. Does not make it Randalls fault, but Randall appeared clueless that he often charmed/steamrolled her into following him. Now that she is refusing to follow him and indulging in her dreams, we are seeing what happens when Beth does not bend to him.

 

[quandrea]

I get what you are saying, but I think with Beth and Randall she said something that was so true. She said, "we don't work unless I bend." They are two VERY strong personalities and it just wouldn't work if one of them did not step back. Beth was the one who always stepped back for the good of the marriage. She always followed his whims and dreams. Does not make it Randalls fault, but Randall appeared clueless that he often charmed/steamrolled her into following him. Now that she is refusing to follow him and indulging in her dreams, we are seeing what happens when Beth does not bend to him.

Fair point. All the more reason though to start early in making your needs known. He needed to be taught how to bend. He can’t learn to bend without being given practice.