This Is Us- Season 3

[rlk]

Oh my gosh, I am so mad at Randall!!!!! You do not belittle your partner's job like that! It will take her a loooooooong time to ever forgive him for that.

And while I do think they've probably taken on too much as a couple right now, I think Randall running (in the first place) for councilman was the bigger mistake. He'd already gotten to chase his dreams of adopting a foster kid and buying that building. It should have been her turn to do something.

This episode reconfirms my opinion that Randall is the most selfish character on this show. His constant jumping in head first into life-changing decisions without talking it through with Beth or to a lesser degree his children. Perhaps this behavior strikes a nerve with me because Randall's behavior reminds me of my own father.

 

[cabanafrau]

I was waiting for Randall to try and find her phone to erase the message.

For all the faults I've lain at Randall's feet in this situation, he has far too much integrity in his character and in his relationship with Beth to do something underhanded like that.

I think Beth said that so Randall could relax a little at the dinner party. If he knew she heard the message, they would be sitting there the whole night knowing there was going to be an argument the second they were alone. They would have been tense and awkward.

There was no point for Beth to show up at all if she was going to show up and passively aggressively undermine him. She's above that. She showed up and fulfilled what he had requested of her. She could wait to roast his coconuts.

 

[cluvsdisney]

@cabanafrau exactly!! There would be no point in going if she was going to blow it up. It was a class act!

 

[PollyannaMom]

I loved that Kevin met up with Sophie. I wonder if it was just a guest appearance or if she will be back to being a regular. I don't know that I actually like Zoe that much - I think I like Sophie better.

I do like Sophie, but didn't she already break off one engagement (or at least serious relationship) the first time they got back together? I don't think she's planning on doing that again.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Back with more thoughts...

I liked the scene with Toby and the other NICU father bonding. It does seem like you'd get to recognize the people you were there with, eventually start talking, etc.

Beth and Randall's kids are going to hear this fight. - I predict it will go really badly at first (someone running away, maybe?) and then turn into a massive family bonding thing where the girls convince the adults they can all manage together.

 

[lisaviolet]

This episode reconfirms my opinion that Randall is the most selfish character on this show. His constant jumping in head first into life-changing decisions without talking it through with Beth or to a lesser degree his children. Perhaps this behavior strikes a nerve with me because Randall's behavior reminds me of my own father.

I think it is a dynamic in many relationships. Often people will carry on with their own wants and needs until they are shown that it is simply not okay.

And in this instance William was trying to communicate this exact dynamic to Beth.



I love the depth of personality in many of these characters. Randall has always been *the good one* *the successful one* but he jumps to his wants (William in the home, Deja, apartment building, politics) without great thought or sufficient communication with his wife. And then seems to forget that he got his want when he desires his new situation. Onto another passion project. Insatiable (My father was innately the same way rlk but my mother was also relatively skilled with saying/showing oh no no no )

Kevin can be self-absorbed but here he is finding his uncle and trying to make sure, the best he knows how, that he doesn't feel abandoned.

Jack is a good man and husband but at times he is not supportive of his wife's parenting. Lets Rebecca play tough parent all day long. And then there's Nicky.

Not downing any of this, just showing how good and bad play a dance. In all of us. I love the show for this specific choice.

 

[lisaviolet]

Last week I honestly thought I was done with the show. Too much forced drama for me.

But I really loved this episode. I am F.I.N.E. fine with Randall and Beth clashing. But then again I am beyond intrigued and curious about human dynamics in relationships. I also am a believer that people stay stagnant by not having the courage to face issues head on.

Randall's phone message was horrid. No argument there. But I also thought it was realistic. And appreciated that. My sincere respect, no sarcasm, to anyone here who has not said or not been on the receiving end of horrid words - often said because a human can't deal with their own emotions in the moment.

---------

The baby. I keep going back to Chrissy Metz saying that she didn't think their storyline has ever been portrayed on tv. Premature birth doesn't fit that narrative.

 

[lisaviolet]

• aww More than words. Definitely can remember dancing to this in a gym.

More Than Words.

What a lovely flashback.

They're definitely trying to lead us to the idea that Kevin and Sophie will reunite. Jack and Rebecca at one point are talking about their past, their childhoods, would they have liked each other as children and how their children have such vastly different childhoods from their own and what kind of potential that suggested for them. I cannot remember the dialogue, but it was still finishing when they cut the shot from the flashback to Kevin and Sophie sitting at the coffee shop.

Caught that too. It will be interesting to see.

I thought the NICU scenes were particularly well done.

Yes.

I don't know how you got through all that. Obviously a parent simply has to push through. Simply saying I understand, as best I can, how tough that must have been.

EDIT: Sorry mnrose, I might have misread your post - unsure. Regardless, it is true about the NICU. So many dynamics involved.

For all the faults I've lain at Randall's feet in this situation, he has far too much integrity in his character and in his relationship with Beth to do something underhanded like that.

Agreed.

On the other hand it would have been loving to try to make sure your wife never hears such a horrid message, beyond saving one's own ***.

There was no point for Beth to show up at all if she was going to show up and passively aggressively undermine him. She's above that. She showed up and fulfilled what he had requested of her. She could wait to roast his coconuts.

Beth and Randall's kids are going to hear this fight.

Sorry that I am laughing. But part of me did think that maybe they wouldn't end up fighting.

 

[cabanafrau]

Sorry that I am laughing. But part of me did think that maybe they wouldn't end up fighting.

In a lot of cases I could get behind that idea. If they don't get on the same page quickly I'm scared they'll unravel completely. I absolutely don't want to see that happen so I hope they dig in and sort it out.

 

[bethbuchall]

I finally had a chance to watch this morning. I generally love Randall, but he is so much in the wrong on this one. I'm still hopeful for the future and them working past this, though.

I liked that they gave us closure with Kevin and Sophie. And then I read here and some don't think it was closure. I guess we'll see where this goes. I don't think he gave it enough thought to say that he never wants children.

 

[Prince_Hawkins]

I thought the NICU scenes were particularly well done. And, brought me straight back to that place where I was in November 1999. I will also say that Kate was moving way.too.good for having just had major abdominal surgery. I was wheeled places in the hospital while I was still a patient. Also, I was "kicked' out by day 4. If that was supposed to be day 6, she likely would have been discharged too....but was still wearing a hospital gown. This, to me, is one of the hard struggles of having a child in the NICU....you don't get to stay. You are evicted when "your" need for hospital care is over. Of course, you get to visit, but it's super hard when you are still post partum (and in my case, with one other twin at home).

Is it possible that Kate was able to stay a little bit beyond an ordinary discharge date for continued observation (of her)...and I'm sure Kevin would have had no qualms about paying for the out-of-pocket costs, since he most certainly has the financial means to do so.

 

[mom2rtk]

I finally had a chance to watch this morning. I generally love Randall, but he is so much in the wrong on this one. I'm still hopeful for the future and them working past this, though.

I agree. But this is a discussion they needed to have before he ran for office. I like the idea of them selling the "McMansion" and moving to the district he's representing. Who knows, maybe they'll do just that.

 

[mnrose]

Is it possible that Kate was able to stay a little bit beyond an ordinary discharge date for continued observation (of her)...and I'm sure Kevin would have had no qualms about paying for the out-of-pocket costs, since he most certainly has the financial means to do so.

Oh sure, anything is possible. But, part of the trauma of the NICU (ask any parent with a kid whose been there a while, and they will tell you the same) is being separated from your child because you are sent home. If you delivered via c-section, that's 4 days (96 hours to be more precise...and yes they measure by HOURS), and the other way, 2 days (48 hours). So, Kate would have been gone almost certainly. Like I say, I think the scenes in the NICU were good, but there's always stuff that's "off" vs. real life. Heck, I had a very high risk pregnancy (bed rest for 17+ weeks....COMPLETE bed rest), and could barely even stand up after delivery because of weakened muscles. Still, off I went at the 96 hour mark. If Kate is up and moving on her own, she'd be gone.

 

[elgerber]

I also thought about the fact that Kate would have been released after 5 days, even mentioned it to DD. But having had a baby in NICU, the scenes are so emotional for me (even though my baby was never in that kind of danger), I let that issue go. I want to see her leave for the first time (well I don't really) because leaving the hospital without your newborn, is just excruciating.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I agree. But this is a discussion they needed to have before he ran for office.

So true! - I think maybe neither of them actually thought he'd win?

It's funny...I didn't want him to give up late in the campaign, because I hated the idea of quitting over the poll numbers - but I do think that in the grand scheme of things, running in the first place was not a well-thought-out decision.

I like the idea of them selling the "McMansion" and moving to the district he's representing. Who knows, maybe they'll do just that.

I would have liked that - especially if it meant Beth bringing dance classes to some kids who never would have gotten them - but I think moving Deja back into a rougher neighborhood after she finally got out is probably a bad idea. (I would also worry about the quality of schools for all of them compared to what's probably an amazing district that they're in now.)

 

[mom2rtk]

I would have liked that - especially if it meant Beth bringing dance classes to some kids who never would have gotten them - but I think moving Deja back into a rougher neighborhood after she finally got out is probably a bad idea. (I would also worry about the quality of schools for all of them compared to what's probably an amazing district that they're in now.)

I agree. But maybe something closer to his district (without moving back to that exact neighborhood) that's not as expensive as the home they have now.

 

[DisneyLover1217]

Alpine, NJ is one of the most expensive towns to live in here. They could move closer to his district in a more modest neighborhood, which would still afford the kids a good education and safe place to live, plus Beth I'm sure could find another dance studio to teach in. Driving back and forth the way he is to Philly is going to take a toll, it looks like already has and he just started.

 

[cabanafrau]

Alpine, NJ is one of the most expensive towns to live in here. They could move closer to his district in a more modest neighborhood, which would still afford the kids a good education and safe place to live, plus Beth I'm sure could find another dance studio to teach in. Driving back and forth the way he is to Philly is going to take a toll, it looks like already has and he just started.

Are you volunteering to be the one to tell Beth the good news? Here's how we make it possible for Randall to be home more and take pressure off the budget -- unfortunately you'll have to find a new studio to teach at and the girls will have to switch schools.

Sounds like everybody in the family is sacrificing to make Randall's dream happen.

 

[DisneyLover1217]

Are you volunteering to be the one to tell Beth the good news? Here's how we make it possible for Randall to be home more and take pressure off the budget -- unfortunately you'll have to find a new studio to teach at and the girls will have to switch schools.

Sounds like everybody in the family is sacrificing to make Randall's dream happen.

I'm not saying that at all. For Beth it is easier for her to find a teaching job anywhere, Randall has to be in that district in order to do his job. If it was reversed, if Beth was the council person and Randall was a teacher, I would be saying the same thing. The fact is, both of them are taking lower paying jobs, which is fine, but they cannot keep up with the Joneses anymore, so their option is to either quit and go back to their higher paying jobs or move. So why I suggested if they move to a more modest neighborhood, they BOTH get to keep doing what they love. They can move somewhere in the middle where they both commute if Beth decides to stay where she is and not look for something local.

 

[Minnesota!]

I too think the kid makes it. But, I'm more than willing to bet that the child will have lifelong issues as a result of being born early....perhaps CP. That would be pretty common. I have a good friend whose twin daughters were born at about this same time (28 weeks), and one of them is perfectly fine. The other has CP (and autism, but the autism probably has nothing to do with early birth). The CP definitely does. It was quite a struggle when they were first born, with lots of ups and downs. A long, long road. I'll also say that while the baby was "small", the weight Toby said (2.5 pounds) is actually quite good for that gestational age. My twins were in the NICU when they were born, and my son was tiny for an almost 37 week baby (3.9 pounds), but looked HUGE compared to another baby in the NICU, whose weight was barely over a pound. That was one really, really tiny looking baby.

I thought the NICU scenes were particularly well done. And, brought me straight back to that place where I was in November 1999. I will also say that Kate was moving way.too.good for having just had major abdominal surgery. I was wheeled places in the hospital while I was still a patient. Also, I was "kicked' out by day 4. If that was supposed to be day 6, she likely would have been discharged too....but was still wearing a hospital gown. This, to me, is one of the hard struggles of having a child in the NICU....you don't get to stay. You are evicted when "your" need for hospital care is over. Of course, you get to visit, but it's super hard when you are still post partum (and in my case, with one other twin at home).

I was up walking as soon as the meds wore off from both of my c-s, but I was walking the long halls at the hospital the day after my younger son's birth. Emergency c-s where he was ambulanced to another hospital, so I checked myself out AMA from hospital 1 and had DH bring me to hospital 2. Going back to the other hospital only once, the first night. I stayed there, in his room, for 2 weeks, walking the long halls to the café, the showers, etc. since DH was back at work and I had nobody to push me in a chair. Hospital #1 gave me scrubs to wear when I was leaving, and I lived in those at hospital 2.

I have never seen a NICU set up like what they have on this show - everyone in one room. My experience was everyone had their own room. With a bed in it for the parents. I cannot imagine trying to process the little life in front of you with all the other families of sick babies just feet away..