Telling your family: We won't be home for Christmas, We're going to Disney!

ariel1205

Earning My Ears
Joined
Jun 24, 2018
Soooo our family is difficult! And we've decided to escape! Our original plan was to go during the week of Dec 5th because thats my birthday (and Walts!) buuutt coronado was booked and so Christmas week was available *shrugs shoulders*

I have most of my family handled and my mom will be dissapointed, but deal with it.... my in laws not so much.... my husband and i have been together 16 years, married for 7, have no kids and are both in our 30s... christmas eve dinner is always just us, his brother and his fiance and his parents....

Anyone have any ideas on how to tell them??? we just booked our dining plans and are so excited, but are dreading when to tell them or how?? I was thinking of maybe even sending some sort of card to all our immediate family with a cute poem to say how we'll miss them but skype from the castle on christmas day?!?!! and to join us for dinner at our house on a day after we return.. but not exactly sure how to say it or if anyone has seen something similar done before...

usually we have hosted christmas day since 2012, the year my husband got 2 rare diseases, but its like his parents don't come until right before dinner and barely stay after dessert and they live a mile up the road :| and then its just my uncle/aunt/nephew/mom brother and his kids....

any suggestions are much appreciated!

PS. Also, got these adorable snowflake doggy mickey ears online and can't wait to do the family christmas card with us and the dogs later this fall!
34394495_10156697778684739_7604283522198536192_n.jpg
 
I would start phone calls ASAP. Yep, it's June. But this way everyone has plenty of time to make alternate arrangments.

"Hey mom, how are you? I have exciting news. Mike and I are going to Disney World for Christmas!! We'll have to arrange for an alternate time to celebrate with you guys..."
 
Don't make it cute. I know I would not appreciate something like that. I don't want a poem about someone else's vacation. As far as ideas, I am a keep it simple person. Just tell them the next time you see them that you will be out of town and offer up a time you could get together.


lol yeah...she was already complaining how someone else goes on vacations and doesn't pay for their kids colleges sooooo that's why he didn't bring it up on fathers day lol... we secretly think shes envious of others cause his dad isn't the vacationing kind really and she was raised very frugal...but eric beat 2 rare diseases and life's short! we've mentioned going with them several times as a whole family.... so.... their loss lol ... well probably have everyone over the day after we get back... no one else will really have an issue but them...
 
As PPs have said just pick up the phone as soon as possible and let them know.
They will have plenty of time to make alternative plans.

At least once a year I hosted between 18-25 people for different holidays. Last year was my first "I'm free and let's pass the torch!" WDW holiday and all survived w/ a minimum of drama.

Have fun!
 


I always find it funny how people
(me included) stress over the holidays. If you wanna go away just tell them. If your going to visit another side of family just tell them. Every year people in our family always do Christmas at their houses. So we end up driving all around to please everyone. The only ones miserable are us. Now I just say this year we are going
to .....
 
I agree with sooner than later, and just do it simple with a call or direct conversation. If you try to make it creative or fancy then it will just look like you think you are doing something wrong, trying too hard. You are not.

My DH family of 5 kids, so parents, kids, spouses, grands .... we were at 21. Written in stone every Christmas Day dinner, better show up by 4, for years we all stayed overnight. One year a SIL took over because it was becoming too much for MIL but we were all expected to be there. We drew names, kids got gifts, we had big spreads, we played games ............. And one year literally with a couple weeks notice my MIL/FIL tell us they are sorry to miss Christmas but they were going on a cruise with her brother. WHAT WHAT? This is all for THEM! SIL was SO mad, I was smiling on the inside - good for them. I want them to enjoy their holiday, maybe sitting around in hours of chaos wasn't fun for them anymore. :rolleyes:

The irony was we knew they had booked the cruise months ago but probably didn't want to hear the disappointment. I would have much rather they just tell us straight up as early as they knew to give us options to make new plans - since, in my book, the main reason to get together was no longer going to be there. I was so proud of them for doing something they wanted to do that made them happy, no reason we couldn't celebrate another day if need be. We ended up giving them on board credit to gamble and have fun for Christmas, and I ordered bottles of champagne to both couples cabins.


Just tell them what you told us - you BOTH had your heart set, the hotel was only available that week so you are treating yourselves to a Disney Christmas and very excited about it ... Your vacation is no one's business and the older you get the harder it is to get folks together for Christmas on Christmas.

And be strong, accept no guilt or be made to feel like you are making a mistake.
 
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No cutesy card, poem, etc. Straight and to the point. We have gone away for Thanksgiving the last two years, although not to Disney. This is how it was handled: "We won't be here for Thanksgiving, we are going to the beach that week, just the 4 of us". No long drawn out speeches, no need to go into why you are going, or that you still love them, no need to say that was the only time you can go, etc., just plain and to the point and don't give in to arguments. If they say anything or start whining, just repeat it--"We are going away as family the week of Thanksgiving".
 
Soooo our family is difficult! And we've decided to escape! Our original plan was to go during the week of Dec 5th because thats my birthday (and Walts!) buuutt coronado was booked and so Christmas week was available *shrugs shoulders*

I have most of my family handled and my mom will be dissapointed, but deal with it.... my in laws not so much.... my husband and i have been together 16 years, married for 7, have no kids and are both in our 30s... christmas eve dinner is always just us, his brother and his fiance and his parents....

Anyone have any ideas on how to tell them??? we just booked our dining plans and are so excited, but are dreading when to tell them or how?? I was thinking of maybe even sending some sort of card to all our immediate family with a cute poem to say how we'll miss them but skype from the castle on christmas day?!?!! and to join us for dinner at our house on a day after we return.. but not exactly sure how to say it or if anyone has seen something similar done before...

usually we have hosted christmas day since 2012, the year my husband got 2 rare diseases, but its like his parents don't come until right before dinner and barely stay after dessert and they live a mile up the road :| and then its just my uncle/aunt/nephew/mom brother and his kids....

any suggestions are much appreciated!

PS. Also, got these adorable snowflake doggy mickey ears online and can't wait to do the family christmas card with us and the dogs later this fall!
34394495_10156697778684739_7604283522198536192_n.jpg
I would let them know, but not do any messaging on Christmas that emphasizes that you're having a grand vacation while they're having Christmas at home without you.
 
lol yeah...she was already complaining how someone else goes on vacations and doesn't pay for their kids colleges sooooo that's why he didn't bring it up on fathers day lol... we secretly think shes envious of others cause his dad isn't the vacationing kind really and she was raised very frugal...but eric beat 2 rare diseases and life's short! we've mentioned going with them several times as a whole family.... so.... their loss lol ... well probably have everyone over the day after we get back... no one else will really have an issue but them...

This is your MIL? I would tell her to mind her own business, or actually my husband would tell her to, probably a long time ago. Absolutely none of her businesss how you spend your money, unless you are living with her and she is supporting you. And there is no way on this earth I would go on vacation with them.
 
You certainly have the right to enjoy your Holiday the way that you would like to. When family becomes so rigid and inflexible:scared1:, that's when get togethers stop being fun! HOPE that you enjoy!::yes:::thumbsup2
 
I always find it funny how people
(me included) stress over the holidays. If you wanna go away just tell them. If your going to visit another side of family just tell them. Every year people in our family always do Christmas at their houses. So we end up driving all around to please everyone. The only ones miserable are us. Now I just say this year we are going
to .....
Shame that Holidays become STRESSFUL and not fun, worrying about who's feeling will be hurt, etc.
DH and I finally have reached the point of wanting to please us, without intentionally hurting anyone. We have "made it over the hump", 2 wonderful sons, 31 and 22, one wonderful DIL, soon to be and now it is time to kick up our heels and start dancing, LOL!:cheer2::dance3:Enjoy life without having to try to please everyone else!::yes::
 
I would let them know as soon as possible too.

Your family should be thankful that you live nearby to see them more often then just Christmas and major holidays/life events. My sister lives in FL, the rest of us are in CT. While we would like her here every year we know that isn't possible. She used to come every other Thanksgiving and alternate it with Christmas and see her ILs in Tennessee. Now for Thanksgiving she goes away for the week and this year for Christmas she is going away. She usually comes up the first week of December and we celebrate with her and usually my Aunt who spends the time with her ILs that day. To me it's just another day and it really doesn't matter.

I will say this last Christmas eve was the best one I ever had in my married life (17 years). Usually my MIL, BIL and his girlfriend come over. Other BIL maybe stops by but he has to spend the time with his girlfriend (whatever). I have spent the day cooking and tidying up every year. I finally stopped making huge meals and it's either a taco bar or meatball or sausage and pepper sandwiches with a salad and some hors d'evours. Well this year mid morning, my MIL decided she had a sniffle and was too ill to come over. We see her once a year yet she lives 5 miles from us-her house is not clean, clutter and dust so we never go there. I think one of my kids has been in once and she is 17. So it has to be at our house since BIL's house is just as bad. So we decided to go see Star Wars and got tickets for around 4 or 5 pm. We ate when we got home, kids went to bed, Santa came and it was the BEST Christmas eve my immediate family has ever had. I don't feel bad that they could not come over.

Do what makes you happy!!!
 
Yes tell them straight up, and soon.
I had taken over Thanksgiving past few years as we are always expected to travel to the others places for every holiday-including Fathers day. Road only goes one way dontcha know? So last year when we went to Disney for Thanksgiving we let everyone know ASAP (March) when DD got her acceptance into the DCP. Same thing with friends with whom we have a longstanding tradition on NYE (also in Disney). Did get some mild jealousy, but the only real guilt trip was from SiL - mainly because they were going to miss my cooking :rotfl:.
If your going to visit another side of family just tell them. Every year people in our family always do Christmas at their houses. So we end up driving all around to please everyone. The only ones miserable are us. Now I just say this year we are going
Ditto. Hubs is talking NY or week after Christmas in Orlando again this year due to Universal AP's. Fine with me! gives great excuse to get out of trying (and failing according to one MiL) to please everyone. Hubs has come to see the frustration I've been dealing with for years be gone last year when we weren't around (his) family :rolleyes1

And be strong, accept no guilt or be made to feel like you are making a mistake.
Great advice. Took awhile for me personally to learn this lesson.
 
I would not make any special calls or announcement. I would just casually mention it in a normal, regular conversation.

Are they really that difficult? I can't imagine myself. If they are that difficult, I probably wouldn't tell them until early November or possibly over Thanksgiving. I wouldn't want 1) to have to hear a guilt rip for the next 6 months or 2) risk them saying "great, we'll come too" and crash your plans.
 
Just make it direct. You're going on vacation and you'd love to get together at a different time than Christmas Day.

We don't see our families on Christmas Day. Not because we are out of town, but because it became too chaotic to try to please everyone, so about 11 years ago we began our own tradition of staying home with our immediate family. so we just do Christmas with others on a day in late December or early January. Our kids love it because it means that they get more than one holiday.

Boundaries are a good thing. You can be direct and not feel guilty about it. You're a grown up. You're not telling them that you will hate them forever (even though some families interpret it that way) You're just telling them that you're making plans for a holiday and it doesn't have to be their plans.
 
I always find it funny how people
(me included) stress over the holidays. If you wanna go away just tell them. If your going to visit another side of family just tell them. Every year people in our family always do Christmas at their houses. So we end up driving all around to please everyone. The only ones miserable are us. Now I just say this year we are going
to .....

haha yeah...really feel like the movie 4 christmases lol... praying for no snow this christmas so our flights arent canceled!
 

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