Talking my DW into an Adult Only Trip?

Dcgc28

DISdad #864.
Joined
Sep 15, 2019
How do you guys manage it? I’ve tried to talk wit her about it in the past and she always said maybe. Now that our DD(3) has gone the maybes have turned into “I couldn’t do that to her”. I’m trying to convince her it would be more relaxing and enjoyable, we have a Disney past so we know how it is as adults.

Feels like I’m fighting a losing battle lol just venting honestly but if anyone has any advice I’d gladly hear it.
 
I would not have been interested in an adult-only Disney trip when I still had kids at home, but unlike you I had no Disney experience prior to going with our kids. The only idea I have is to pair it with a birthday or anniversary maybe?

I have a stubborn streak and if someone tries to keep pushing me into something I don't want to do, I dig my heels in harder. Your DD is still quite young, maybe let it go for a few years?
 
I would not have been interested in an adult-only Disney trip when I still had kids at home, but unlike you I had no Disney experience prior to going with our kids. The only idea I have is to pair it with a birthday or anniversary maybe?

I have a stubborn streak and if someone tries to keep pushing me into something I don't want to do, I dig my heels in harder. Your DD is still quite young, maybe let it go for a few years?
Probably a good idea! Sometimes it’s easy to forget how young we are and that we’ll have our time to go solo
 
Realistically speaking, your daughter would not remember at all if you guys went to Disney without her at this age. I know I didn't find out until I was college age that there ever was a time my parents went to Disney without my brother and I when we were small. It was exclusively while we were at that age and too young to remember the visits anyway that our parents took their adults only trips and we got an extra special week with our grandma when we were kids. Once we were about 5 and old enough to start remembering the trips (and more importantly big enough for most of the rides) was when we always went on trips as a family every year until life just got too hectic for scheduling regular visits.

They do still take their adult only visits now that we're independent, but it is a far different experience for them between now and when they were a young(er) couple. I think it really depends on how you and DW do Disney. If you're into the thrills and trying to make the most of all of your time there, then now might be the best time to get another young(er) adult's only trip in before life starts catching up too much. If you tend to take things much more relaxed and on the easy side, then there is certainly less urgency in trying to get in an adult only trip.
 


Realistically speaking, your daughter would not remember at all if you guys went to Disney without her at this age. I know I didn't find out until I was college age that there ever was a time my parents went to Disney without my brother and I when we were small. It was exclusively while we were at that age and too young to remember the visits anyway that our parents took their adults only trips and we got an extra special week with our grandma when we were kids. Once we were about 5 and old enough to start remembering the trips (and more importantly big enough for most of the rides) was when we always went on trips as a family every year until life just got too hectic for scheduling regular visits.

They do still take their adult only visits now that we're independent, but it is a far different experience for them between now and when they were a young(er) couple. I think it really depends on how you and DW do Disney. If you're into the thrills and trying to make the most of all of your time there, then now might be the best time to get another young(er) adult's only trip in before life starts catching up too much. If you tend to take things much more relaxed and on the easy side, then there is certainly less urgency in trying to get in an adult only trip.

We definitely tend to take more relaxing trips. But at the same time we enjoy the thrills. I think one more trip of just us would be great for us. Who knows, maybe she’ll see my side if I stop pushing so hard lol
 
Maybe plan your next trip with your daughter for a couple of years after your adult only trip - would that help your DW accept it?

We are going this winter without DS7 and he is not going to be happy about it but I figure we are going on vacation without him for sure - what's the difference where we go? He knows he is going again in 2022 and that it is important for mom and dad to vacation alone sometimes.
 
Maybe plan your next trip with your daughter for a couple of years after your adult only trip - would that help your DW accept it?

We are going this winter without DS7 and he is not going to be happy about it but I figure we are going on vacation without him for sure - what's the difference where we go? He knows he is going again in 2022 and that it is important for mom and dad to vacation alone sometimes.
Not a bad thought, I haven't really made it that far into our discussion yet. But we planned on going in 2020 at some point and probably 2021 for the 50th, so that pitch may work for her.
 


Dude, I'd jump if DH wanted to take a trip to Disney without our kids. I am the primary parent (he works out of town 4 days a week so I handle most everything) so I feel absolutely zero guilt doing things without my kids sometimes. We take a couple short trips without the kids (not to disney) every year, because as a couple, we need time to be a couple, not just mom and dad. I come back as a better parent for having that time to relax and be just a wife, not mom.
 
Maybe figure out where she wants to go on vacation without the kid. It sounds like you guys aren’t on the same page.
 
Maybe figure out where she wants to go on vacation without the kid. It sounds like you guys aren’t on the same page.

I considered that but I think it's legitimate feelings of guilt over leaving DD at home. I offered to take her anywhere the next few years before we're in school heave with DD and other side adventures she'll have and she planned Disney for all 3 years.

Edit: thanks for all the responses guys! Feels good to talk about it
 
I think some of it is your DD's age. I don't know if I would have wanted to go to Disney without our kids when they were that young and in the stage where it's so magical for them. Also, it gets much easier to leave them in general when they're older. My parents are great with my kids, but they live 7 hours away and only see each other 4 or so times a year. At that age it was very hard on my kids to suddenly have us gone longer than overnight. Leaving the kids bothered me a lot more than it did my husband--much as I wanted the time away, I also felt guilty about it. So on the rare occasion that we had an opportunity to get away in the early years, the trips were always short and close enough that we could get home easily if we were needed. Our youngest is 10 now, and we have a 4-day adults only WDW trip planned for November.
 
We look at trips with and without the kids as being in totally different tiers (both in terms of what we can do and how much money we're willing to spend), but no destination is off limits for either option. So we have no problem doing Disney without the kids (and we have done this in the past and are planning to again), just like we have no problem taking the kids to Europe rather than "saving" it as a couples trip.

We look at Disney trips with the kids as being about the kids. We focus on what they want to do, move at their speed, etc. If it's an extended family trip where grandparents are coming with, we have enough wiggle room to trade kids between the adults so everyone gets the chance to have some downtime. But an adult-only trip is a chance to focus solely on what you want to do, experience nicer dining, stay at a nicer resort, etc. They're totally different types of trips, and IMO, they're both worthwhile vacations.

Some thoughts on your daughter's age: Yes, it's true that she won't remember a trip at this age. BUT she will have a great time, and YOU will always remember seeing her have that magical experience. I took my 2- and 4-year-old daughters with my mom for their first trip, and I wouldn't do it differently even knowing how little they'll remember. My own first trip was at age 5 that I have no recollection of, and my mom says the same: no regrets taking me so young.

Obviously I'm an advocate for both taking kids of any age to Disney and having adult-only trips. :) I think it might help your wife to think of it as less of an all-or-nothing thing and more of a vacation spot that everyone can enjoy at different times. Just because everyone would have a fun time doesn't mean everyone needs to go on every trip!

Like others have said, it also depends on if you have someone you trust and know well to watch your daughter while you're gone. We've taken a kid-free vacation every year since our oldest was born, because we really need that time away from our kids. So going to Disney without them doesn't feel like a big deal because we know we're going somewhere without them, and Disney is just another vacation spot. But some people hate to travel without their kids regardless of the destination. It's all such a personal thing.
 
Just wanted to add that I'm 57 and DH is 65 and we still do long park days and all the thrill rides. Not much of a change in how we do Disney since our first trip 21 years ago, except now more alcohol is involved.
 
I think it's amazing you want a trip away with your wife! So thoughtful, but is your wife maybe not wanting to leave your 3 year old yet? Maybe it isn't really just going to Disney, but rather leaving her at all? My DH goes on hunting trips, golf trips etc without the kids....I probably felt ' okay' with leaving without kids when our oldest was about 6 or 7. At that point maybe for a quick overnight. Now DS is10, I would have zero problems leaving him, but DD ( will be 2 in November).... I can't leave her yet. Maybe you all could start out with a local destination overnight get away. Then try Disney adults only in a couple of years. Have a great time wherever and whenever you go!
 
We just went on our first adult trip in 25 years! Kids are grown but we take DGS 4 1/2 for a week each year. DH is not a Disney lover, he doesn’t hate it and loves having DGS there. When free dining came out it was a few weeks before our yearly trip for DGS. I booked it on a whim. When I finally told him I had it booked I said it was for my 55th birthday. Told him it was refundable. When it came time to pay I talked to him and agreed to shorten it by a day due to his schedule. Once paid for he got excited about it. Actually we added a day at the beginning with points at the Dolphin. It was a marvelous time. Perhaps you could do a shorter trip. Give it to her as a gift? The first few days we missed DGS but we really enjoyed relaxing meals and pool time! Good luck.
 
I'd maybe see if there was an event ( like Villians ) that wouldn't be as appropriate for your daughter. Also, try coaxing her with Lunch with An Imagineer that doesn't allow children.

You may have to settle for a long weekend trip if you can get her to agree but it would be a start....
 
Maybe figure out where she wants to go on vacation without the kid. It sounds like you guys aren’t on the same page.

I understand the OP's wife. I went with my husband before we married and the children were 2, 4 and 6. Neither one of us ever thought it would be an issue, however for both of us it was.

Personally, I would plan a long weekend and see how that goes.
 
I understand the OP's wife. I went with my husband before we married and the children were 2, 4 and 6. Neither one of us ever thought it would be an issue, however for both of us it was.

Personally, I would plan a long weekend and see how that goes.

What was the issue? Kids don’t really remember anything before the age of four.
 
What was the issue? Kids don’t really remember anything before the age of four.
The children were fine. The issue was us. Back then all there was was the, and we kept remarking how much Danny would like this attraction, and Donny this one, etc. My DSIL has never considered an adult trip to WDW, even though my DD would have enjoyed it. If their DD was not going, he was not going. He felt that no matter Kady was fine with it, she would be upset after they left. That is what he said. What he meant was that he would be upset after they left. LOL! Like us, he would have been "sidetracked" by the things his daughter would enjoy. Now she was pretty clear: "Nana, I can't get rid of them! They won't go!) LOL!
 
Why is it people don’t think 3 year olds remember things? Both me and my daughter have very clear memories of things that happened when we were 3.
 

GET A DISNEY VACATION QUOTE

Dreams Unlimited Travel is committed to providing you with the very best vacation planning experience possible. Our Vacation Planners are experts and will share their honest advice to help you have a magical vacation.

Let us help you with your next Disney Vacation!





Top