Still believing - Spoiler alert - Update

[Turn the Page]

Mine are in college and graduated from college, Santa's plate of cookies still gets set out every year. There would be too much grumpiness on Christmas if he didn't get his plate -- a shot of whiskey or bourbon would be much more appreciated than milk, BTW. The Santa who specially wrapped and tagged all of those gifts was quite happy to surrender her duties with absolutely no complaints.

Our Santa prefers red wine rather than bourbon but otherwise I'm right there with ya.

 

[Imzadi]

A allegedly neuro-typical child alleged child turning 14 in November in 7th grade and wanting a new 2015 Mac in 2018? I am beginning to think I need to believe in Santa to make sense of the OP's posts. Or the OP is not sharing that her daughter does indeed have special needs, which is her right, but would change the whole conversation.

The OP did share that her DD has some processing delays in post #6:

DD is an enigma. In some areas, she is very bright and in other areas, she struggles with a language processing delay that spills over into other areas. She has incredible logic in some moments and can be oblivious in others. She spends hours watching you tube vides involving technology (smart phones, ipads etc) and can explain how to fix things but then moments later demonstrated such little understanding about something like did she just meet the real Ariel.

She is in 7th grade. Do some seventh graders still believe?

If DD watches a lot of YouTube vids about computers & technology, it's quite possible DD watched a vid involving 2015 Mac and what it can do and THAT is the one she wants.

Technology, electronics and fixing things are mostly linear, analytical, "left brain," logical thinking. So she may linearly think, if she gets a 2015 Mac, she can do the same exact things. Not realizing that a 2018 Mac may be able to do the same things and more.

Make believe, imagination, creativity, figuring out if Ariel is real or not , or if Santa is real or not, is a creative, "right brain" process. It's not linear, logical. It takes leaping in imagination & thinking. It's not linear. Thinking is more 3-D. And that kind of thinking may confuse the heck out of Linear/Left Brain people.

So DD may very well wonder: If she meets an Ariel dressed up like Ariel, looks like the Ariel in the Disney film, why ISN'T that Ariel real? In linear logic, it would make sense that she is. If "A", then "B" follows. Possibly the same for Santa. That's why it takes kids to get to a certain age and reasoning ability to catch the inconsistencies and impossibilities and realize he's not real.

 

[MomRN]

My son says he still believes when I've straight told him. Admitted to it all at the same time when he was about ten. Even showed him my collection of his baby
teeth.

He sees it as a Pascals Wagar, or believes Santa could be real in an alternate universe. He has friends that tell him Santa isn't real and he says he simply chooses to believe and he has that right.

So, I give up.

 

[tcufrog]

When my older son asked why we pretended Santa existed I asked him this question “Did believing in Santa make Christmas better for you when you were little?” After thinking for a bit he said “yes.” I then told him that parents do it because not only is it fun for them but they do it to bring joy, excitement and happiness to their children.

 

[luvsJack]

Never had a “conversation” with any of my kids. They believed until they didn’t. When asked I would just give the question back to them. “Is Santa real?” “ What do you think?” Even at 9 or 10, it was totally up to them. I felt like “too old to believe” was up to the kid.

Dd has a girl in her class that believed long after the other kids did not. Don’t think she was 14 but probably 13. The other kids didn’t pick on her or give her a hard time. They just played along. But it wasn’t like they were having these big conversations about it, either.

I wouldn’t necessarily burst you dd’s bubble about Santa. I might just have a conversation about what exactly she does believe. Just let her tell me,

 

[Snowflakey]

If you choose not to tell her and you now know what the item is she wanted from Santa just don't get it (especially since you can't get it anyway). When she questions why Santa didn't bring her gift maybe you can then say something. Just a thought....

 

[Gracedis1]

When my dd was in 6th grade, the librarian read the kids a story that somehow let on the truth about Santa and that's how some kids learned about it. Some parents were furious. I was surprised that some kids still believed at that age because my dd figured it out years earlier. I think it's better for parents to let kids in on the truth in a positive way before someone else does it.

 

[mom2rtk]

When my dd was in 6th grade, the librarian read the kids a story that somehow let on the truth about Santa and that's how some kids learned about it. Some parents were furious. I was surprised that some kids still believed at that age because my dd figured it out years earlier. I think it's better for parents to let kids in on the truth in a positive way before someone else does it.

I'd be furious too. Regardless of what is "too old", it's nobody's place to spill it but the parents.

 

[verleniahall]

I. Going the opposite and way don’t tell her - more than likely she already knows, but let her enjoy the INNOCENCE a little longer

 

[verleniahall]

This reminds me of our first trip to Disney. We were in line to meet Ariel and there was a family with kids in front and behind us. The mom in front of us literally turned around and yelled - now remember - this is not the real Ariel. Ariel is fake and is a cartoon. This is a college student dressed up.


AOmg - I’m kinda glad we were in the middle because she might have been mauled by angry parents. Kids were in tears, parents trying to console them, and she sauntered in to the meet, THEN proceeded to try and tell the cast member that the dh and I had done it, but thankfully the family behind us was like no they didn’t - it was her!

It’s no one else’s place to say when or where or at what age to take away the magic and innocence of youth - it comes down to you and your husband - if he isn’t ok with it - then u need to respect it

 

[china mom]

A allegedly neuro-typical child alleged child turning 14 in November in 7th grade and wanting a new 2015 Mac in 2018? I am beginning to think I need to believe in Santa to make sense of the OP's posts. Or the OP is not sharing that her daughter does indeed have special needs, which is her right, but would change the whole conversation.

I thought I did share that she has special needs. She has a language processing delay that affects her abilities in more than one area but her needs are not profound and she is very capable of learning, understanding logic in many areas. It is hard to explain her and nearly impossible to pinpoint which thought processes are affected and when. She is very intelligent but at the same time naive.

 

[ronandannette]

This reminds me of our first trip to Disney. We were in line to meet Ariel and there was a family with kids in front and behind us. The mom in front of us literally turned around and yelled - now remember - this is not the real Ariel. Ariel is fake and is a cartoon. This is a college student dressed up.


AOmg - I’m kinda glad we were in the middle because she might have been mauled by angry parents. Kids were in tears, parents trying to console them, and she sauntered in to the meet, THEN proceeded to try and tell the cast member that the dh and I had done it, but thankfully the family behind us was like no they didn’t - it was her!

It’s no one else’s place to say when or where or at what age to take away the magic and innocence of youth - it comes down to you and your husband - if he isn’t ok with it - then u need to respect it

Slightly OT but in the same vein, this thread has me thinking. Why is Santa so different than anything else our kids are exposed to on an imaginary level when they’re little? Disney in particular - did anyone here actually sit down with their kids and explain the characters aren’t real and the stories are fairytales? Is it deceitful to let children think so? There also must be many other ways our kids’ thinking doesn't always line up exactly with reality. Hmmm...

 

[RedAngie]

When my dd was in 6th grade, the librarian read the kids a story that somehow let on the truth about Santa and that's how some kids learned about it. Some parents were furious. I was surprised that some kids still believed at that age because my dd figured it out years earlier. I think it's better for parents to let kids in on the truth in a positive way before someone else does it.

The 3rd grade nun in my Catholic school flat out declared that there was no Santa Claus, but I doubt many kids were shocked or surprised by the news.

And I doubt any parents were furious about it. If anything, they were relieved.

 

[mumto3girls]

This reminds me of our first trip to Disney. We were in line to meet Ariel and there was a family with kids in front and behind us. The mom in front of us literally turned around and yelled - now remember - this is not the real Ariel. Ariel is fake and is a cartoon. This is a college student dressed up.
it

Okay, that wasn’t me and I would have never yelled that out in public, but my older two kids were terrified of the characters. For the most part we just avoided close encounters, but when contact was difficult to avoid (or once the older one was more interested and wanted to do a character breakfast or get a photo and the younger one was afraid) I did a lot of reminding and reassuring that it was just pretend, that it was just someone dressed up. Hopefully no one else was paying attention. I certainly wouldn’t have intended to ruin anything for anyone.

My third one, though, was smitten with Mickey and Minnie even when she was very little. I’ll never forget trying to steer her away from Mickey in the Animation area only to realize she WANTED to meet him. I was so excited, finally a kid who loved the characters. Ironically she was the one who figured out Santa by 7. And I don’t think it was her older sisters as they were excited to “help” me perpetuate the magic with her. We were all disappointed when she didn’t believe anymore. She’s 12 now and was never crazy about the princesses, but still loves Minnie although i’m Not sure she ever thought Minnie was real.

 

[Wendy31]

The 3rd grade nun in my Catholic school flat out declared that there was no Santa Claus, but I doubt many kids were shocked or surprised by the news.

And I doubt any parents were furious about it. If anything, they were relieved.

I went to a private Christian school, &, in 2nd grade, the teacher told our class that Santa wasn't real & that our parents were lying to us. She was telling us Santa wasn't real due to religious reasons - we should believe in God rather than Santa.

Parents were absolutely FURIOUS!

They complained to the principal, & the teacher almost got fired. She had to issue a formal apology, but, by then, it was really too late. She didn't return to the school the next year.

 

[bjscheel]

You can buy a brand new 2015 Mac on eBay, FYI. When DD20 went to college in 2017 we bought an unused 2015 model due to being able to get more features for a lower price.

I feel like my very bright but very imaginative/dreamer DD believed for longer than the average child. I don't know when it happened, but she is now 17 and we have had some conversations that indicate she knows the truth now

 

[cabanafrau]

I thought I did share that she has special needs. She has a language processing delay that affects her abilities in more than one area but her needs are not profound and she is very capable of learning, understanding logic in many areas. It is hard to explain her and nearly impossible to pinpoint which thought processes are affected and when. She is very intelligent but at the same time naive.

Clearly you already know this but it's a good reminder for others who may not be aware, having special needs is not an indication someone lacks intelligence, often far from it. Albert Einstein was dyslexic. Our brains are fascinating and each has it's own unique strengths. Who's to say which great scientific discoveries or fantastic artistic creations humanity would have missed out on if many of our geniuses over the centuries didn't have their individual quirks or crossed wires that led to magical sparks?

 

[1GoldenSun]

On one hand, I think it's nice to be able to believe in Santa as long as possible, but it may be time to kind of gently "lead" her to the truth. You don't have to come right out and tell her there'e no Santa, just gradually stop playing along and let her figure it out.

I have a friend whose daughter was pretty naive and innocent. She believed until she was 12 despite her friends' assertion that Santa was made up. One night she caught my friend and her husband putting out the Easter baskets. She got incredibly upset. She then realized that Santa and the Tooth Fairy were also not real. Then she questioned whether God was real. She was truly devastated--called her parents liars and frauds. She was embarrassed that her friends had been right all along and that they had probably been laughing at her behind her back. It took a long time for my friend to gain back her daughter's trust. I think this was an extreme reaction, but you never know.

 

[Turn the Page]

I thought I did share that she has special needs. She has a language processing delay that affects her abilities in more than one area but her needs are not profound and she is very capable of learning, understanding logic in many areas. It is hard to explain her and nearly impossible to pinpoint which thought processes are affected and when. She is very intelligent but at the same time naive.

Adaptive behavior issues perhaps? SD8 is like this. She is doing fine academically so far. She can memorize information and spit it back out but she can't apply any of it. She knows snow is cold but she has to ask us in January what the weather will be like the next day so she can decide if she needs to wear shorts or pants to school the next day.

 

[Turn the Page]

On one hand, I think it's nice to be able to believe in Santa as long as possible, but it may be time to kind of gently "lead" her to the truth. You don't have to come right out and tell her there'e no Santa, just gradually stop playing along and let her figure it out.

I have a friend whose daughter was pretty naive and innocent. She believed until she was 12 despite her friends' assertion that Santa was made up. One night she caught my friend and her husband putting out the Easter baskets. She got incredibly upset. She then realized that Santa and the Tooth Fairy were also not real. Then she questioned whether God was real. She was truly devastated--called her parents liars and frauds. She was embarrassed that her friends had been right all along and that they had probably been laughing at her behind her back. It took a long time for my friend to gain back her daughter's trust. I think this was an extreme reaction, but you never know.

DD12 wasn't upset but this is how she found out. She saw us putting presents out one night. She also figured out that meant the tooth fairy and Easter bunny weren't real as well. Unfortunately, she still expects the tooth fairy to visit when she looses a tooth. Unfortunately she has dental issues that require most of her baby teeth to be pulled as they will not come out on their own and our tooth fairy pays a premium for pain and suffering when that happens.