Should we Leave Kids Ipads at Home?

[rg35]

I have 10 year old triplets (1 boy, 2 girls) and we have been to Disney yearly since 2013 (except for 2018 where we took a break from WDW).

The first few years we had flown, but the last 3 years we drove (from NYC). When we flew they were young occupied themselves with coloring and mostly non-electronic diversions (including sleep). For our drives my wife made activity books for them, but they still had their tablets to use as well. But even in the car we limited the amount of time they could be on the tablets so they weren't just sitting for hours looking at a screen.

Once we're at WDW, we've never once brought their electronics with us to the parks. I personally can't imagine why anyone would do this. The point of vacation is to enjoy and experience the parks. Even when waiting in a queue, which can be boring sometimes, there's no reason that a kid needs a tablet to keep them occupied. Using their tablets has been extremely limited to a few minutes before bed, but most of the time they're tired and barely use them anyway.

If you can't say no to your kids' ipad urges (for example they want play a game on their ipad instead of going to the pool, or to get ice cream, or whatever else), then you should leave them at home. My wife and I would never let tablet use supersede vacation activities. Our kids also know this, but at the same time want to enjoy vacation as well so we have never gotten those kinds of requests. At home their tablet use is mainly limited to weekends anyway, so they're adept at keeping busy without them.

 

[Treysar]

Oh Yes! I completely get it. We have been on our trip since Saturday and the boys have only played on them 1/2 hour in the morning and not even that at night. They honestly haven’t even asked about them until we get back to our room or in the morning while DH and I are getting ready, but they definitely fulfilled a need for us. It has been a short means for them to unwind each day, but I don’t think we could have survived without them. Well, we could have, but it would have been challenging and would mean we wouldn’t have any time to unwind/relax ourselves.

I will add that I do think at least one of our boys uses the iPad as a survival/escape for when he gets overwhelmed. He has managed, but we have been trying to continue communicating with him if we notice he is getting anxious. He will start to get nervous and chew at his fingers, and ask us if it’s dark time yet. That’s our que that he’s hitting the wall and we need to think about leaving the park.

One of my guys asks about it getting dark too! Hmm, I wonder what that's about! I hope you are having an amazing TRIP!

 

[rg35]

I guess I don't understand what you are trying to say here. That kids can not learn to sit and entertain themselves without bothering others. I have seem many, many kids do this, including my own. It used to be rare that a child was being disruptive. Now it seems to be the norm. Did kids change, or is that they are being allowed to act this way now? I would rather that parents teach their kids how to behave in public then stick a screen in front of their faces.

It's just lazy parenting. Many would rather hand their kids a device and not bother with them. I see this all the time out at restaurants. Why do kids need screens when out to eat? A lot of families stick their kids at one and of the table, give them their devices and don't spend a minute interacting with them. People can say whatever they want about it, but it's unhealthy behavior being propagated these days.

The fact of the matter is that it's hard and takes effort to actually parent and be interactive with your kids, and tell them no, and that things need to be done in moderation, and a lot of people don't want to be bothered. I get that Disney vacations aren't easy on parents either, but then why go? If it ultimately wasn't enjoyable for our family, we just wouldn't go. WDW vacations definitely require a level of effort from parents.

And I'm not talking about kids with severe issues, where some kind of assistance is needed in keeping them calm or whatever, I'm just talking about run of the mill situations that I see all the time.

I guess maybe I'm a parenting snob because I've been raising triplets for the last 10 years, and I have and do take them out alone all the time. Whether them being little and taking them to the zoo, pushing them around in their triple stroller to get somewhere, taking a trip now on public transportation - I never brought along devices with me to use as a crutch just because it would have been easier for me.

 

[Smittolis]

What's your barometer for judging whether a child has issues or is 'run of the mill'?

Not accusatory, genuinely interested.

 

[maxiesmom]

It's just lazy parenting. Many would rather hand their kids a device and not bother with them. I see this all the time out at restaurants. Why do kids need screens when out to eat? A lot of families stick their kids at one and of the table, give them their devices and don't spend a minute interacting with them. People can say whatever they want about it, but it's unhealthy behavior being propagated these days.

The fact of the matter is that it's hard and takes effort to actually parent and be interactive with your kids, and tell them no, and that things need to be done in moderation, and a lot of people don't want to be bothered. I get that Disney vacations aren't easy on parents either, but then why go? If it ultimately wasn't enjoyable for our family, we just wouldn't go. WDW vacations definitely require a level of effort from parents.

And I'm not talking about kids with severe issues, where some kind of assistance is needed in keeping them calm or whatever, I'm just talking about run of the mill situations that I see all the time.

I guess maybe I'm a parenting snob because I've been raising triplets for the last 10 years, and I have and do take them out alone all the time. Whether them being little and taking them to the zoo, pushing them around in their triple stroller to get somewhere, taking a trip now on public transportation - I never brought along devices with me to use as a crutch just because it would have been easier for me.

Judgmental much?

I think it is pretty silly to judge a parent off of seeing them for a few minutes in a theme park. Or in a restaurant. You have no idea what is going on in their lives. If you don't choose to allow your kids to use such devices, fine. That is your choice as a parent. And other parents are free to allow their kids to do what they choose as well.

And honestly I'd much rather sit in a restaurant by a happy child using his I pad than an unhappy one crying, or rolling around on the ground.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Judgmental much?

I think it is pretty silly to judge a parent off of seeing them for a few minutes in a theme park. Or in a restaurant. You have no idea what is going on in their lives. If you don't choose to allow your kids to use such devices, fine. That is your choice as a parent. And other parents are free to allow their kids to do what they choose as well.

And honestly I'd much rather sit in a restaurant by a happy child using his I pad than an unhappy one crying, or rolling around on the ground.

All I pretty much ask is the sound off (or headphones used). That goes the same for adults. I'm not a big fan of being in restaurants and hearing phone or tablet sounds.

 

[SaintsManiac]

It's just lazy parenting. Many would rather hand their kids a device and not bother with them. I see this all the time out at restaurants. Why do kids need screens when out to eat? A lot of families stick their kids at one and of the table, give them their devices and don't spend a minute interacting with them. People can say whatever they want about it, but it's unhealthy behavior being propagated these days.

The fact of the matter is that it's hard and takes effort to actually parent and be interactive with your kids, and tell them no, and that things need to be done in moderation, and a lot of people don't want to be bothered. I get that Disney vacations aren't easy on parents either, but then why go? If it ultimately wasn't enjoyable for our family, we just wouldn't go. WDW vacations definitely require a level of effort from parents.

And I'm not talking about kids with severe issues, where some kind of assistance is needed in keeping them calm or whatever, I'm just talking about run of the mill situations that I see all the time.

I guess maybe I'm a parenting snob because I've been raising triplets for the last 10 years, and I have and do take them out alone all the time. Whether them being little and taking them to the zoo, pushing them around in their triple stroller to get somewhere, taking a trip now on public transportation - I never brought along devices with me to use as a crutch just because it would have been easier for me.

Lord have mercy...

 

[Lilsia]

It's just lazy parenting. Many would rather hand their kids a device and not bother with them. I see this all the time out at restaurants. Why do kids need screens when out to eat? A lot of families stick their kids at one and of the table, give them their devices and don't spend a minute interacting with them. People can say whatever they want about it, but it's unhealthy behavior being propagated these days.

The fact of the matter is that it's hard and takes effort to actually parent and be interactive with your kids, and tell them no, and that things need to be done in moderation, and a lot of people don't want to be bothered. I get that Disney vacations aren't easy on parents either, but then why go? If it ultimately wasn't enjoyable for our family, we just wouldn't go. WDW vacations definitely require a level of effort from parents.

And I'm not talking about kids with severe issues, where some kind of assistance is needed in keeping them calm or whatever, I'm just talking about run of the mill situations that I see all the time.

I guess maybe I'm a parenting snob because I've been raising triplets for the last 10 years, and I have and do take them out alone all the time. Whether them being little and taking them to the zoo, pushing them around in their triple stroller to get somewhere, taking a trip now on public transportation - I never brought along devices with me to use as a crutch just because it would have been easier for me.

As they say, the proof is in the pudding. It shows when the children become older and try to interact in society. Like I have said before, I have worked with young people for years, and they have been getting worse and worse in their attitudes and behavior. They can not focus, have very little inter-relatable social skills, when something does not go exactly how they expect them to go, they shut down. This is a very serious issue that I know we all hear about from schools and the work force, but for some reason people keep dismissing it. There are none so blind as those who refuse to see. Others say that your statement is judgmental, I think that word is thrown around now at everyone that has a different opinion and view, just like saying someone is racist. Of course those who see no problem in doing this are going to get their hackles up in defense. That is the classic going on the offensive when you know you are wrong. If someone said to me that my parenting is messing up my kids, I would laugh at them because I KNOW that is not true. I put in the work and the time and the energy, so no matter what anyone says, it does not matter. I don't feel the need to attack them for it.

 

[Lilsia]

Judgmental much?

I think it is pretty silly to judge a parent off of seeing them for a few minutes in a theme park. Or in a restaurant. You have no idea what is going on in their lives. If you don't choose to allow your kids to use such devices, fine. That is your choice as a parent. And other parents are free to allow their kids to do what they choose as well.

And honestly I'd much rather sit in a restaurant by a happy child using his I pad than an unhappy one crying, or rolling around on the ground.

With your statement, I can see that you completely missed the point. You are saying that those are the only options, face in a screen or a disruption. We are saying that neither should be the norm, just like it has been since the beginning of time. What did we all do when we were young, before technology? We went out with our parents, to restaurant, vacations, car rides, the stupid carpet store, we all behaved. We used our imagination, we spoke to our parents at dinner, or among ourselves. Our parents would NEVER allow us to cry or roll around on the ground or just stick a distraction in front of us. They disciplined and taught us how to act in society. THIS is what is lacking now for many children. They are never taught how to behave and how to actually become a productive member of society. They are just learning that if they act up, they will be given something good, like electronics just to shut them up. How can anyone think that this is right or healthy for a child? And your comment about we only see snippets of people's life, that is true. But come on, you know that this is the "norm" now. We see it all too much now. And it is sad that the attitudes now of many people, like yours, that this is an acceptable alternative to teaching your kids right from wrong, just keep them quiet and happy with a distraction.

 

[tcufrog]

I have 7-year-old boy and an 11-year-old boy. We went a third way when we went to the UK for a month this summer. Since we'd have long plane rides and lots of time in the car during our road trip from the northern edge of Scotland to London we knew there would be lots of downtime. We felt though that the kids had gotten too attached to screens. Instead of allowing them to take ipads we bought them old school Kindles and loaded them up with books. We also took a few small travel games and card games as well as a few activity books for each of them. Every time we take a big trip I make the kids a travel journal for them to complete during the trip. That took up some downtime as well. It worked really well. DS11 reread the whole Harry Potter series and DS7 worked his way through the books in the Freetime program.

A happy side effect was that the kids were more engaged in the trip than they would have been if we'd allowed them to bring Ipads.

As for carrying their stuff during trips, we don't anymore. Each boy is allowed to take one backpack with their fun stuff and jacket in it. DS7 usually puts a stuffed animal in his. They are each responsible for their backpack and stuff in it. When we are out and about during the day they usually choose to share a backpack and switch off carrying it.

My older son has ADHD and Aspergers and this worked well for him.

 

[DisneyOma]

I work with special needs children - there's such a fine line between using technology as a tool to help them navigate life and as a crutch to hide behind to avoid learning how to navigate life. Many, many students I work with are addicted to electronics. The constant feedback is addicting, and it's almost impossible to get them to function without a cellphone or tablet in their hands. And one day the key to the iPad drawer was missing and the meltdowns were horrible. That classroom learned a good lesson that day - don't depend on just one thing to cope.

If someone needs the electronic buzz to cope with waiting I suggest a gradient approach. Make the person wait a little bit longer each time before handing the iPad over. Try some other techniques - hand massage, noise cancel headphones, etc. Check with the school to see what they do for waiting in lines if the child has special needs. Remember that school has a lot of waiting, and the staff are pros at helping kids cope

 

[gdrj]

Not sure how are children were able to survive growing up without having their faces stuck in a screen (sarcasm).

This isnt a knock out someones parenting, more of a societal issue. Yes, I'm showing my age...I just dont get why I see kids in strollers or on line with their heads buried in a screen. (Its OK to say No to a child- or to converse with them instead) The need, that some have created that kids need to be entertained w/o human interaction is just a bit sad. Mom and Dad on their phones talking (ignoring family) while the kids are trying to point out what is going on around them. Obsession with duck lip photos of themselves while missing real things around them.

I realize every generation, things change but some times it isnt for the better.

 

[maxiesmom]

Please. There are good parents and good kids that use electronics and bad parents with unruly kids who don't. Just the same as vice versa.

You know what my family would do in the good old days before electronics? My parents would threaten me with a spanking if I didn't behave. And they meant it. Or if I was lucky I would be hit with the yard stick. So much for the good old days and good old ways being perfect.

Using electronics to keep your child occupied isn't bad just as using a stroller isn't bad. People parent in different ways. Not using an I-pad isn't somehow "right". Just means the parents make different choices.

 

[Lilsia]

Please. There are good parents and good kids that use electronics and bad parents with unruly kids who don't. Just the same as vice versa.

You know what my family would do in the good old days before electronics? My parents would threaten me with a spanking if I didn't behave. And they meant it. Or if I was lucky I would be hit with the yard stick. So much for the good old days and good old ways being perfect.

Using electronics to keep your child occupied isn't bad just as using a stroller isn't bad. People parent in different ways. Not using an I-pad isn't somehow "right". Just means the parents make different choices.

Again, missing the point. The use of electronics is not the issue. It is the fact that many parents are using it INSTEAD of discipline and teaching their kids how to behave and right from wrong. If your kid is acting up and throwing a tantrum, you do not reward that behavior by giving them an I-pad. You discipline. I don't even have an issue with kids bringing their phone or tablet with them for the plane or road trip, if they are deserving of it. But I don't think that using them in a theme park is necessary.

 

[Hezzy04]

We always bring iPads. We never bring them in the parks though. They are only for when we have turned in for the night, before we go to sleep. They use them to wind down and relax sometimes.

We would never leave the parks just for iPad time. Although with my girls, they would never want to leave the parks for iPads. They prefer the parks, swimming, or doing some sort of activity. iPads are mostly for the plane or a bit of time at the end of the day.

Can you bring them with limits that they are only to be used at certain times?

 

[Krj16]

iPads for the plane and travel, not at the parks. Thats what we've done. Its hard to guage how the heat, constant going and crazy schedule will effect kids If they use devices at home to relax a bit during down time have them handy. Do whatever works for you and your family. If someone has a problem with it, thats exactly what it is..their problem.

 

[Nancyg56]

It's just lazy parenting. Many would rather hand their kids a device and not bother with them. I see this all the time out at restaurants. Why do kids need screens when out to eat? A lot of families stick their kids at one and of the table, give them their devices and don't spend a minute interacting with them. People can say whatever they want about it, but it's unhealthy behavior being propagated these days.

The fact of the matter is that it's hard and takes effort to actually parent and be interactive with your kids, and tell them no, and that things need to be done in moderation, and a lot of people don't want to be bothered. I get that Disney vacations aren't easy on parents either, but then why go? If it ultimately wasn't enjoyable for our family, we just wouldn't go. WDW vacations definitely require a level of effort from parents.

And I'm not talking about kids with severe issues, where some kind of assistance is needed in keeping them calm or whatever, I'm just talking about run of the mill situations that I see all the time.

I guess maybe I'm a parenting snob because I've been raising triplets for the last 10 years, and I have and do take them out alone all the time. Whether them being little and taking them to the zoo, pushing them around in their triple stroller to get somewhere, taking a trip now on public transportation - I never brought along devices with me to use as a crutch just because it would have been easier for me.

I do thnk you are somewhat of a parenting snob. My oldest is 44 so I have been parenting a good long while and what I can share is that every kid is different and while it may seem that based on YOUR kids and YOUR parenting decisions, parents who you see using devices in that snapshot of life is lazy, for many others the decision is a no brainer for their family.

My DGD was one of those kids who would use an iPod etc at very long meals, or in the parks if she needed to get away from what was chaos to her. My DD is what even I would find to be a strict parent, however her decisons for her daughter made sense to both her and her DH.

My Kady is an honor student and has been accepted to every school she applied to, one of which is a Ivy League institution. One doubled the amount of moeny they offered her, and she just accepted their offer.

She is socially awesome, and has the ability to see when someone is in need and reaches out. she is also one of those kids who may seem to be unemotional, but that aspect of her personality is a blessing when she is interacting with sick animals or people, (she is going into marine biology) because she can address the situation rather than folding.

My point is that while you may know the answer for your kids, you cannot knwo wha tis appropriate for others.

Yes there are parents who rely on devices as a means to babysit their kids, but that has also been the case. Instead of iPads there was TV. However unless you know the story, you Should not recite the ending.

Again, missing the point. The use of electronics is not the issue. It is the fact that many parents are using it INSTEAD of discipline and teaching their kids how to behave and right from wrong. If your kid is acting up and throwing a tantrum, you do not reward that behavior by giving them an I-pad. You discipline. I don't even have an issue with kids bringing their phone or tablet with them for the plane or road trip, if they are deserving of it. But I don't think that using them in a theme park is necessary.

Unless it is the answer.

 

[LSUmiss]

As they say, the proof is in the pudding. It shows when the children become older and try to interact in society. Like I have said before, I have worked with young people for years, and they have been getting worse and worse in their attitudes and behavior. They can not focus, have very little inter-relatable social skills, when something does not go exactly how they expect them to go, they shut down. This is a very serious issue that I know we all hear about from schools and the work force, but for some reason people keep dismissing it. There are none so blind as those who refuse to see. Others say that your statement is judgmental, I think that word is thrown around now at everyone that has a different opinion and view, just like saying someone is racist. Of course those who see no problem in doing this are going to get their hackles up in defense. That is the classic going on the offensive when you know you are wrong. If someone said to me that my parenting is messing up my kids, I would laugh at them because I KNOW that is not true. I put in the work and the time and the energy, so no matter what anyone says, it does not matter. I don't feel the need to attack them for it.

In my experience, when ppl are called racist or judgmental there is a good reason & they usually are or at least their statements are. The ppl in denial are those that think their comments are acceptable.

 

[LSUmiss]

With your statement, I can see that you completely missed the point. You are saying that those are the only options, face in a screen or a disruption. We are saying that neither should be the norm, just like it has been since the beginning of time. What did we all do when we were young, before technology? We went out with our parents, to restaurant, vacations, car rides, the stupid carpet store, we all behaved. We used our imagination, we spoke to our parents at dinner, or among ourselves. Our parents would NEVER allow us to cry or roll around on the ground or just stick a distraction in front of us. They disciplined and taught us how to act in society. THIS is what is lacking now for many children. They are never taught how to behave and how to actually become a productive member of society. They are just learning that if they act up, they will be given something good, like electronics just to shut them up. How can anyone think that this is right or healthy for a child? And your comment about we only see snippets of people's life, that is true. But come on, you know that this is the "norm" now. We see it all too much now. And it is sad that the attitudes now of many people, like yours, that this is an acceptable alternative to teaching your kids right from wrong, just keep them quiet and happy with a distraction.

Perhaps this is common where you live, but not here. I’m not saying that all kids are well behaved here, but I have not experienced this epidemic you’re talking about. I rarely see kids with devices at restaurants around here.

 

[cadien]

Perhaps this is common where you live, but not here. I’m not saying that all kids are well behaved here, but I have not experienced this epidemic you’re talking about. I rarely see kids with devices at restaurants around here.

I've wondered about this too. I'm always reading of this epidemic of poorly behaved children in public but just never see it. And we eat out constantly.