Should they have applauded?

[pampam]

I was at a dance, and a man in a wheelchair asked me to dance. He only had 1 leg. I accepted. It was a waltz, and I wasn't sure how he wanted to do this. I expected I would put my hand on his shoulder and other hand likely in his and we would dance with him in the chair. However, he wanted to stand, so we danced with him hopping a little and bouncing some. I put my hands in the regular position with my left hand on his shoulder and my right hand in his. As you can imagine we pretty much stayed in one spot in the center of the floor keeping the line of dance open for other to waltz past us. The wheelchair remained nearby. There were other dancers waltzing too. When the dance was over some people applauded, to support him I suppose. I thought that was nice. However, some felt it was wrong to applaud him. I know in the grand scheme of things it's not a big deal, but I was wondering later. By applauding, did they center him out? He didn't seem to mind it. He thanked me for the dance and wheeled back to his group. If you had been there would you have applauded?

 

[moon]

IMO, they were out of line. If someone wants to fit in they should be treated as normally as possible. Yes, the applause centered him out and highlighted that he is different from the rest.

To answer your question, no, I would not have applauded.

 

[adisneyaunt]

Perhaps they were applauding because they knew him... and knew it was his first foray into dancing?
I'd like to give them the benefit of the doubt.
And more importantly to me.. they were being Supportive and happy for him.. the intentions were good and as OP said, he didn't mind. So yes, if there was some type of Positive Feeling, I'd have clapped too!

 

[Pacolovestacos]

I agree. The applause was dumb and insensitive.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I feel that this was out of line.
This was not some kind of public performance or speech.
IMHO, this drew unwarranted and perhaps unwanted attention to this man.

His desire to participate should not have been considered to be public entertainment or everybody else's business.

Unless this was a small more private function where he personally knew these people and therefore it might be okay for them to 'support' him.
It was out of place.

 

[low-key]

are there any pics

 

[ols386]

If it made him feel good, then I think it was ok. But I'm not sure how anyone would know if the applause would make him happy or not. Unless it was in a setting where a lot of people knew him.

 

[Magpie]

I was at a dance, and a man in a wheelchair asked me to dance. He only had 1 leg. I accepted. It was a waltz, and I wasn't sure how he wanted to do this. I expected I would put my hand on his shoulder and other hand likely in his and we would dance with him in the chair. However, he wanted to stand, so we danced with him hopping a little and bouncing some. I put my hands in the regular position with my left hand on his shoulder and my right hand in his. As you can imagine we pretty much stayed in one spot in the center of the floor keeping the line of dance open for other to waltz past us. The wheelchair remained nearby. There were other dancers waltzing too. When the dance was over some people applauded, to support him I suppose. I thought that was nice. However, some felt it was wrong to applaud him. I know in the grand scheme of things it's not a big deal, but I was wondering later. By applauding, did they center him out? He didn't seem to mind it. He thanked me for the dance and wheeled back to his group. If you had been there would you have applauded?

If he was this guy....

...I'd be applauding like a maniac.

But, if he's just your average joe who isn't doing anything anyone else couldn't do, then no, I wouldn't applaud. Drawing public attention to an otherwise ordinary, normal act, just because the person doing it has a disability is rather patronizing. Congratulate the person only if you know them and know whether this is a real accomplishment for them. Don't assume.

Now, that said, the applause came from good intentions, and he was obviously being gracious about it. In the middle of the dance is not the time to try to educate the well meaning public!

Far better to discuss it in private with friends, and on discussion boards as you're doing, so you can get the message out. Disabled people are just people. They're not special, magical unicorn people. If someone who is disabled is doing something amazing (like the bboy above), then they deserve recognition for that. But if you wouldn't applaud any other dancer on the floor, then don't applaud this one just because he's got one leg.

 

[Planogirl]

You said that he returned to his group. Was it that group that applauded?

 

[pampam]

No it was scattered throughout the room. I must add that he told me that before he lost his leg he used to enjoy dancing. Later in the evening I noticed him dancing with his wife while remaining in the wheelchair.

 

[CarolAnn856]

You said that he returned to his group. Was it that group that applauded?

No it was scattered throughout the room. I must add that he told me that before he lost his leg he used to enjoy dancing. Later in the evening I noticed him dancing with his wife while remaining in the wheelchair.

Well, it's possible that members of his group were scattered around the room as well.

 

[Skywalker]

I probably wouldn't have applauded but I don't see anything wrong with the people that did. It sounds like it was just spontaneous and well meaning (and we certainly don't need to quash that in this day and age), and if the guy didn't get offended I certainly wouldn't presume to get offended on his behalf.

 

[Mizzoufan]

I don't see anything wrong with applauding. Are you sure they were clapping for him and not the whole group of dancers

 

[moon]

Well, it's possible that members of his group were scattered around the room as well.

I doubt that. The OP said that he went back to his group. I think that means they were together. And who is to say that he wasn't embarrassed or offended. I don't think he would have made a scene.

As for those who said "oh, they meant well" and all that, the point is that there was NO reason for the applause. Like a pp said, he wasn't giving a performance for their entertainment. Why did they applaud? I'm sorry, but I can only see it as being patronizing to him.

 

[anniemae]

I get that people were probably trying to be kind, like "good for you, getting out there and dancing!" but like others said, it seemed to come off as a little insensitive. Just because he has a physical limitation, he shouldn't be acknowledged or pointed out for every "normal" thing he does.

If someone has a hand/arm disability and he cuts his steak and eats it, should everyone applaud? No.

It just seems a little much. As I said, Im sure people were trying to be supportive, but instead they kind of shined a spotlight on him and could have made him feel awkward. Who knows though, maybe he loved the support.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I get that people were probably trying to be kind, like "good for you, getting out there and dancing!" but like others said, it seemed to come off as a little insensitive. Just because he has a physical limitation, he shouldn't be acknowledged or pointed out for every "normal" thing he does.

If someone has a hand/arm disability and he cuts his steak and eats it, should everyone applaud? No.

It just seems a little much. As I said, Im sure people were trying to be supportive, but instead they kind of shined a spotlight on him and could have made him feel awkward. Who knows though, maybe he loved the support.

I agree but not everyone with a disability mental or physical wants to be applauded every time they complete something I know I don't especially by strangers I tolerate it from family especially if it's a first because they have been on the journey but not from strangers or from new friends dh and I are not a exhibit

 

[anniemae]

I agree but not everyone with a disability mental or physical wants to be applauded every time they complete something I know I don't especially by strangers I tolerate it from family especially if it's a first because they have been on the journey but not from strangers or from new friends dh and I are not a exhibit

That was exactly my point, not pointing out every "normal" thing someone with a disability does. Like I said, if someone with a deformed hand cuts his steak and eats it, should you applaud? Of course not. I don't think people meant to come off as patronizing by clapping when he finished dancing, but it seems like it came off that way.

 

[usnuzuloose]

I would not have applauded, but I think it was very sweet you thought nothing of it and just danced with him. You probably made his evening.